"No more food" Alicia said in protest as Guzman had plied her with enough food and wine to put her into a food coma. She knew he wasn't doing it purposefully as she had been to his house many times for dinner parties when his wife had been alive and Tasha's birthdays. It was just the way he was taught which was to never leave a glass empty or plate without some food.

"Come on, it's not even your third serving" Guzman told her as he halved the last of the paella on his and her plate. It had been a delicious lunch and being outdoors on the back patio of Guzman's home on a beautiful day certainly helped add to the pleasure of eating. The twins sat in their high chairs by the table playing with their dessert of fruit pieces. They were enjoying themselves which was important to her even if she felt like a dog's breakfast.

"Yeah but I like my ass the size that it is" Alicia told him, as she pushed the plate away from her.

"Ah just gotta get in the gym more" he told her with a smile as he picked up the wine but before he could tilt the bottle and covered her cup with her hand.

"No more wine. I have to look after the twins and being sloshed is not proper parenting" She told him. She knew she was a failure at being a soldier and a wife but being a parent was one job she was not going to screw up. She needed to be good at one thing right now besides not acting like a kicked puppy because her marriage had fallen apart. She refused to cry another tear over it as all the tears she cried last night hadn't helped her in the slightest.

"Relax, you've barely had more than two glasses" he told her with a smile. She gave a chuckle and shook her head. She wondered how he could even say that when he wouldn't let her finish the wine to see the bottom of the cup before topping it up.

"Yeah, your definition of two glasses is vastly different from mine and anyway aren't you supposed to go back on duty?" She asked. Guzman placed the bottle on the table and sat back in his chair giving a half hearted shrug.

"In half an hour, and two standard drinks isn't going to hurt the performance of my duties" he said.

"When did you learn to relax?" Alicia teased as she had known Guzman as long as she had Taylor and the man was as uptight as they came. Sure he relaxed at social functions but he never drank while on duty. Never. She had expected him to tell her it was his day off but apparently it wasn't the case.

"Well it's bad manners to let someone drink alone and you looked like you needed a drink" he told her.

"Your commanding officer wouldn't approve" Alicia told him as she picked up her fork and pulled the plate towards her, she was full but the food was too good to go to waste.

"I'll take the punishment. Speaking of, what's the deal with you and Taylor?" Guzman asked as he took a sip of his wine. Alicia swallowed the bite of food in her mouth wondering why it had taken him over an hour to get to this conversation.

"I don't want to talk about it" She told him as she took another mouthful of rice, sadness and disappointment rolled through her because she knew there was no way Taylor would get over his son's death and her role in it. It would hang like a cloud over their heads and if she thought about how he grieved for Ayani, the twins would be at least 10 years old by the time he could just look at them and want to be in their lives.

"Ok, so how long do you plan on camping out at Kate's?" he asked, Alicia looked him dead on wondering how he knew.

"I know you left him, he didn't say so. I was doing the round when you ran out of the house making a beeline for Kate's with a bag. Don't worry there weren't any other witnesses but people are going to cotton on pretty quick" Guzman told her. Alicia placed her fork down as a wave nausea hit her. She shook her head and picked up the wine and took a sip to help wash down the paella.

"Seriously, I can't discuss this" Alicia told him before she took another sip.

"Ok, I don't need details but what's your long term plan?" he asked her.

"I don't know, it's not like I had a game plan ready for this situation. I didn't plan on any of this happening" Alicia snapped, she inwardly groaned at how Guzman reduced her to the age of 16 with his questions. Even if they were reasonable ones, she just didn't want to talk about any of it.

"Sorry, I'm just worried about you and Taylor. It's not easy watching you two and the fact you have kids-"

"I know, it's not easy for me either. So right now I'm staying at Kate's. I'd go to Evan's but his house is pretty chaotic, I can't go home because Taylor and I – we need space." Alicia said, she felt if she went home they wouldn't solve anything, they would just rip each other to pieces. He'd make her feel guiltly and she would remind him of how it was her fault his son was dead. In the end Lucas had won, he had destroyed his father's happiness and made him miserable.

"Not necessarily" Guzman said.

"What do you mean?" Alicia asked.

"Taylor's going OTG tomorrow" Guzman told her.

"And you're only telling me this now?"

"Yeah well, I was working up to it. Anyway the point being is that he's going OTG, which means you can go home. He won't be there" Guzman told her.

"Doc, I need a couple med kits prepped for OTG" Taylor said to Elisabeth when he walked up to her in the makeshift Infirmary. She was sitting at one of the lab tables with a large plex screen they had installed at the back of the room away from the patients and the noise. The builders had reused the Perspex walls from Lucas's cell as a partition so the nurses and doctors could talk in relative privacy without disturbing the patients.

"I thought all OTG missions were suspended until further notice" Elisabeth said as she kept working, tapping on the screen; updating her patient's files.

"Not anymore, I'll be leaving tomorrow 0500 with a group of scientists and soldiers to Outpost 4" He told her. Elisabeth stopped what she was doing and turned her attention to Taylor.

"What about Alicia and the twins?" She asked, as she really couldn't believe the way Taylor was acting. She knew grief made people do things out of character but Taylor's behaviour was really starting to grate on her nerves.

"They'll be fine without me for a few days" he said. Elisabeth gave him a look of disapproval, something he expected but what he didn't expect was to feel annoyed by it. "You got a problem?" he asked her, he couldn't help but ask as she was one of the few people in the colony who could speak their mind to him. As chief medical officer she had the power to take him off duty.

"Yes I do." She said as she folded her arms. She found his nonchalance struck a nerve. If she were a violent person she would have slapped him but she wasn't prone to violent gestures so instead she looked at him with dark disapproval.

"Well don't hold back on my account" he said mirroring her posture.

"Ok, I understand you're grieving-" She started but he cut her off.

"The preface to every sentence I hear lately. Don't pussyfoot me" Taylor said annoyed that people kept on giving him an out as if his grief was acceptable but his son's death was also something they all welcomed with relief. Not that they'd say it to his face. It was another reason to leave the colony, at least the outpost was a valid reason and he could help clean it out and work on clearing his mind prioritising his life. He just had to tell Alicia that she had the house as he had packed a bag and decided he'd camp out in the brig for the night. It had a sturdy cot and it's not like he needed anything more.

"Ok, then pull your head out of your arse and stop hurting those closest to you. I had an emergency call this morning because you stressed Kate to the point it made her ill." Elisabeth told him in an annoyed and uppity manner. He frowned as he didn't know Kate was ill nor did he feel it was his fault.

"I didn't-" he started but Elisabeth cut him off and shook her head at him.

"Oh don't bother to convince me otherwise, it may not have been intentional but you did play a part in it. If you had given any consideration to her circumstances you would have behaved better. Considering less than 48 hours after she gave birth to her own child, you left your two lively daughters in her care. Then you gave her the cold shoulder only to have a conversation a week later that obviously wasn't pleasant as Kate broke a window. So it was your identical twin-"

"Ok I get it, I didn't help the woman but she's normally more resilient" Taylor said, he could see why Jim didn't like to get on Elisabeth bad side, she had a way of making him feel even worse than he did before. In fact she kind of reminded him of his mother, she never shouted and always spoke in such a manner that was patronizing and somehow it induced even more guilt than one would expect to feel if they were shouted at and then slapped on the wrist.

"When you go through 9 months of pregnancy and then endure immense pain for hours on end without meds to push a small baby out of your body. Then wake every two hours to feed and change that beautiful baby for the first two weeks and tell me you wouldn't be a wee bit tired and overemotional–"

"If I wanted to be berated about my conduct with Kate, I'd talk to Malcolm" Taylor grumbled as he pushed Kate from third on his list of people to make amends with to second place just after Alicia. Another relationship he was beginning to feel he irreparably damamged with his short sighted behaviour. Knowing what happened between Lucas and Alicia gave him clarity and with it rude awakenings of how badly he had screwed up.

"Which brings me to my other and equally important second grievance that I have with you. You got two little girls who need you and also a wife who won't admit it but still needs more time to recuperate from her own ordeal. They need you here and yet you're going to go OTG?" Elisabeth said in disbelief breaking his train of thought.

"She's fine, she doesn't need me around" Taylor said, he knew Alicia would never air their marital problems and while they did appear to have issues no one knew the details. He would prefer to be seen as trying to resolve them than have them know the truth. How Alicia walked out on him, she left him and it tore out his heart as he lost her and the twins with her. But she also left the door open for him to come after but he had to wait, he had to prove he wanted her back. That they would move forward than stay stagnate as they had been for last few weeks.

"That is a load of-" Elisabeth stopped mid curse and Taylor looked over his shoulder to see Nurse Ogawa approached them.

"Dr Shannon" Nurse Ogawa said when she reached them.

"Yes?" She asked looking to the nurse.

"I need you for a consult at bed 3" Ogawa said.

"I'll be there in a minute" Elisabeth told her.

"Ok" Ogawa said and with a nod she turned on her feet and walked away leaving Taylor and Elisabeth in relative privacy again. Elisabeth took a deep and calming breath before she looked to Taylor.

"Look, I'm not going to pretend to know what is going on between you and Alicia but don't run away. These disappearing acts don't solve anything, they just make it worse" Elisabeth told him.

"Ok then what do you suggest I do?" He asked dryly as everyone was telling him what to do anyway.

"Honestly it's down to you and since I know you're still going to go. Maybe you should think about what you really want from your life. Then make a decision. If you don't want a beautiful wife and two equally beautiful daughters then fine. Get a divorce and sign over your rights as a parent to Alicia. But if you want your family back then go after them, you know what the problems are and what you have to do to solve them." Elisabeth said.

Kate woke up when she heard Caleb give a hearty cry, she found herself tangled up in Malcolm's arms and legs and the sheet as he had fallen asleep on top of it. She looked to Malcolm found he was in a deep sleep which amazed her as Caleb continued to cry. It only amazed her because usually he was the first to wake up but obviously he was exhausted and needed the rest. So she carefully disentangled herself from his hold so as not to wake him up and got up from bed. She pulled on a t-shirt and yoga pants before she picked Caleb up.

"Hello, you hungry too?" she asked, in a soft voice. She lifted Caleb out of his cot into her arms. He calmed for a moment as Kate felt he knew his needs were going to be met. She looked to Malcolm who shifted in his sleep and rolled onto his stomach and smiled as he starfished his arms and legs taking up the space on the bed. Caleb gave a huff of impatience and so Kate turned left the bedroom closing the door behind her leaving Malcolm could catch up on his sleep.

She moved to the kitchen bench and read the note Alicia left saying she'd left to have lunch with Guzman and be back sometime in the afternoon. She was about to go to the lounge to nurse Caleb when a knock sounded at the door. She moved to the door and opened it to find Elisabeth.

"Hey" Kate said to Elisabeth, the woman looked wrecked but then she had been working the night shift. But then she had been putting in alot of hours in the infirmary.

"Hi, I just wanted to drop by and see how you are doing?" Elisabeth asked her, Caleb gave a small wail of hunger just as Kate opened her mouth to answer, Kate smiled and shook her head and she patted Caleb on the back. She could just feel the milk in her breasts getting ready to leak and gave a sigh as she really didn't want to embarrass herself.

"Alright, I was just about nurse him and have some lunch myself. Come on in" Kate said as she waved Elisabeth into the house. She knew Elisabeth wouldn't care if Kate breastfed Caleb infront her. Hell to Kate she felt she and Elisabeth had no secrets between them since Elisabeth delivered her son. She figured if someone saw you naked and in this case push another human being from your body they would not wig out if they caught a glimpse of your nipple.

"You know it's 2pm" Elisabeth told her.

"It is?" Kate asked surprised she and Malcolm had slept for so long but then it also explained Caleb's crankiness as he probably been huffing and making noise trying to get their attention before turning on the waterworks. Caleb's cries always woke her up.

"Yes, so why don't you go nurse Caleb and I'll whip you up something to eat" Elisabeth told her.

"You sure? I don't want to-"

"Go feed him, it's good for both of you" Elisabeth told her.

"Ok" Kate said accepting Elisabeth's help she moved to the lounge and went to nursing Caleb while Elisabeth pottered around her kitchen making a couple of sandwiches and cutting fruit up and putting a kettle on the stove for tea.

"So where's Malcolm and Alicia?" Elisabeth asked as she came over to the lounge with the food placing it on the coffee table before she sat down next to Kate who was still nursing Caleb, she propped her left elbow and Caleb with a pillow to free her right arm and hand so she could eat as she was starving. She adjusted the lightweight cotton blanket she used to keep some modesty as she knew Alicia would be back at some point with Guzman and she had no desire to give Guzman a show.

"Alicia and the twins went out for lunch with Guzman. I think she assumed Malcolm would feed me but he crashed out with me. He's still asleep when Caleb woke me up. I didn't have the heart to wake him up" Kate said as Elisabeth offered her the plate of sandwiches. Kate picked up a quarter and took a bite enjoying the food as her stomach was gurgling with hunger.

"Probably a good idea to let him he can take over for the night duty while you sleep" Elisabeth said as she got up and moved back to the kitchen to take the kettle off the stove and make some tea.

"So how are you?" Kate asked as she picked up another sandwich piece.

"I should be asking you that". Elisabeth said as she brought over the teapot and cups setting them down.

"You already did. I'm alright, you know tired, a little hot and achy. So what about you?" Kate asked with a smile before she took another bite of the sandwich in her hand.

"Tired working long hours but good, thank you for asking" Elisabeth said as she sat down again.

"Good. How's the family going?" Kate asked as she finished the sandwich and lifted the cotton blanket to see how Caleb for a second. He was greedily still eating and she was incredibly glad that he wasn't kicking a stink as Elisabeth told her to expect him to be a little fussy while she was unwell but so far he wasn't too bad. She just hoped it wasn't wishful thinking.

"All alive and well" Elisabeth said with a smile, she had been about to continue when the front door opened. Guzman came in carrying folded up high chairs followed by Alicia with the twins.

"Ladies" Guzman said in greeting before he placed the folded up high chairs against the wall.

"Guzman, Alicia. How was lunch?" Kate asked them.

"Delicious, the company was so so" Alicia said as she had returned to the room after half closing the door to the nursery.

"Ouch, last time I invite you over" Guzman said pretending that Alicia had insulted her.

"Well you could've done better like give me a freshly cooked meal" Alicia said to him, with a smile.

"What'd you have?" Kate asked as she picked up another sandwich slice.

"Paella and tapas" Guzman said.

"Leftovers" Alicia said correcting him as Elisabeth and Kate looked mildly impressed by Guzman's lunch menu.

"You're my friend not my girlfriend" Guzman told her.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Kate asked.

"No but if I do, she will get the freshly cooked meals and be happy with the leftovers the next day" He said with a smug smile. The statement would have been incredibly chauvinistic if Guzman had been a player but the man hadn't dated or seen in the company of another woman since his wife's death. It was amusing.

"Hey you know Haynes is single" Kate said. The women smiled as Guzman made a face of disgust.

"Yeah with good reason, now if you leadies will excuse me, I'm going to head out before you start play matchmaker" Guzman said Alicia smiled and gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.

"Thanks for lunch" She told him.

"Anytime, Bye" He said, Elisabeth and Kate returned his good bye and Alicia saw him to the door. Once the door was closed she turned back to the women and moved to the kitchen pulling a cup out the cupboard.

"So how are you two doing?" Alicia asked as she moved to the arm chair opposite them at the table and placed the cup on the table for tea once it was ready to be served. She settled back into her chair and looked to them.

"Good" Elisabeth said.

"Yeah alright" Kate said before she finished the sandwich she was eating and then while chewing she carefully lifted Caleb out from under the blanket she had over her and placed him over her shoulder giving him a rest before she started to burp him.

"Malcolm back at work?" Alicia asked as she took a strawberry off the fruit plate.

"Nah he's sleeping." Kate said.

"Really?" Alicia asked surprised, Kate nodded and Alicia took a bite from the strawberry.

"Out like a light, I'll wake him for dinner if he's not up by then" Kate said with a smile

"Poor guy" Alicia said with a chuckle.

"Hey!" Kate said objecting to Alicia's comment. She knew Alicia was joking but still felt the need to defend herself. Alicia smiled.

"So, Commander Taylor inform you that he's going OTG?" Elisabeth asked Alicia as she poured the tea. Kate looked to Alicia who's features slipped into a sad expression.

"Yeah, Guzman told me. I'm thinking once he leaves I'll go back to the house" Alicia said.

"Are you sure?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, the twins need their own beds. I'll be over here as much as you need it but it'll be easier" Alicia said making excuses. She loved Kate but she needed to be on her own to work through her situation. She also wanted Malcolm and Kate to have their own space and time together with Caleb without being dragged any further through her marriage problems.

"Ok as long as you know you're always welcome to stay" Kate told her.

"I know" Alicia said.

Malcolm woke up to the sound of three women laughing hysterically and babies babbling and squealing in delight. He rolled over onto his back and looked at the clock on his bedside table and read that it was 5pm. He rubbed a hand down his face. He felt better for the sleep but incredibly hungry. He got up from the bed and stretched his arms above his head before he straightened his clothing and opened the door.

Alicia stood in the kitchen by the stove cooking what smelled like pasta bolognaise and garlic bread while Elisabeth was holding a sleeping Caleb in one arm and helping Kate with the twins who were eating dinner. They all paused for a moment and looked his way.

"Well, well it's Sleeping Beauty" Alicia said teasingly.

"Cute, what's going on out here? I woke up to giggling and baby noises" Malcolm said, he moved to Kate's side and place his hands on her shoulders giving her a massage. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head as she was watching Ella and Ava to make sure they didn't choke on the tiny cubes of soft vegetables they were currently demolishing. He knew the twins would finish then play for a little bit before their bath and then in bed by 7pm.

"Oh just women talk and feeding the babies" Alicia told him.

"Kate suggested we start an amazonian tribe" Elisabeth added.

"The plan had it's flaws though" Kate said as Malcolm sat beside her at the table.

"Like the fact you have a son and would have to leave us behind?" Malcolm asked looking at the women with an amused smile as only they would turn the conversation into some fantasy life they could live.

"Only periodically" Kate said as she smiled widely.

"Yeah, she'd have to keep coming back to you to have more children, so the colony can grow" Alicia said with a chuckle.

"But they have to be girls" Elisabeth stated.

"Ah so I'm just a stud to you" Malcolm said to Kate who's smile was incredibly bright as she found it all thoroughly amusing as Elisabeth and Alicia did.

"Uhuh and Elisabeth has told me all things I need to know on how to conceive only girls" Kate said as she patted his knee.

"Lovely" Malcolm said dryly as he didn't exactly feel comfortable at knowing Kate and his ex-girlfriend were talking about sex and concieving babies in relation to him. "Is there anything I can help with in regards to dinner or with the twins?" Malcolm asked changing the topic.

"Yes, could you take over the kitchen? I need to duck home and pick up some basil as you guys don't have any" Alicia said. Malcolm got up from his seat and went to the kitchen.

"Ok the garlic bread and pasta have another 6 minutes and just make sure the bolognaise doesn't burn" She told him.

"Ok"

"I'll be back in a minute" Alicia said before she left the house. Malcolm stirred the bolognaise and wondered why Alicia had run off to get basil when the sauce already had basil in it. He moved to the drawer where they kept their herbs and spices and found the jar with basil in it to be half full. He closed the drawer and kept the information to himself as he went back to tending the kitchen and watching Kate and Elisabeth with the kids.

Alicia went to the house and noted the lights were off. She opened the door and closed it behind her and sunk to floor as tears flowed down her face, glad she was alone as she could cry the tears she had been bottling up all day. When Malcolm woke up and came out to the living area, she felt the lump rise in her throat as she watched him move to Kate and the most perfunctory of touches and kiss to the top of Kate's head. The tenderness of it just reminded her of how much she ached for those moments, how she ached for Taylor and what they would never have again. She gave into the pain ripping her up on the inside and gave a cry as she dropped her head into her hands.

Taylor had dropped by the house to pick up few extra items for his trip when he heard the front door open then close. He had been about to step out to see who it was but stopped when he heard Alicia cry out in deep emotional pain. She sobbed, drawing in ragged breaths, the last time he heard her cry like that was when she was recovering from her ordeal with Ellyas the first time around. It tore at him to hear her in so much pain. It was unbearable to listen, so much so he walked out of the bedroom and saw she was kneeling on the floor with face in her hands.

He moved to her side and tried to pull her into his arms, she resisted it at first as he tried to hold her. He could see the pain and confusion on her face before she crumpled, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his neck practically strangling him with the force of her hold but he didn't care. He just wrapped his arms around her tightly as she sobbed in his arms.

Alicia didn't know how or why Taylor was holding her but she didn't care. She held onto him and the illusion of comfort he provided as he lifted her into his lap and held her in his arms with care. He didn't say anything as held her. After a few minutes, she loosened her hold on him but didn't let go as the comforting warmth of his body and his quiet strength salved her pain. The tears slowed. Her breath was a short and choppy as her heart hamered. She felt nauseated and exhausted from the crying and putting on a show all day that she was 'fine'.

They stayed as they were just holding one another and not speaking, Taylor remained silent as he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. He didn't want to provoke her. But holding her now made him want her, made him want for a lot of things but she, Elisabeth and Kate were right. He needed to sort through his grief of losing the idea he held of Lucas. The idea he could save a man who he had never been the best father to, to begin with. But he couldn't turn back time and he couldn't repair Lucas even if he tried. Like Kate said to him, parents can teach their kids everything they need to know and how to act but ultimately it's up to the child to make their own decisions and decide who they want to be.

Alicia listened to his steady breathing and felt his steady pulse as she took a deep inhale savouring the scent of him before she lifted her head. She pulled back slightly not ready to leave his hold or break the brittle truce between them as she knew if he truly despised her he would have left her crying on the floor. So there was a glimmer of hope between them even though he was leaving the colony.

"I'm sorry" She said as she had gotten his neck and and the collar of his shirt wet from her crying on him like an 8 year old.

"For what?" he asked.

"Your shirt, you'll need to change it" She said as she tried to get up but he stopped as he held her in his arms. She could fight her way out if she wanted but instead she dropped her forehead on his shoulder and exhaled slowly.

"I'm leaving the colony" He whispered in her ear.

"I know" Alicia said as tears filled her eyes again. She swallowed the lump in her throat and willed the tears to go away. She despised how weak it made her feel.

"Please use the house while I'm gone, it's your home as much as mine" Taylor said as he soaked in every second of her in his arms like this. They might have a mess of marriage but he wanted to remember every finite detail before he went OTG.

"I-" She started to say that she would but he cut her off.

"I'll be staying somewhere else tonight but I'd like to stop by later tonight to say goodbye to you and the twins. If you'll let me" He said. Alicia took in a ragged breath and he knew she was still vainly trying to control her emotions. She lifted her head and looked at him for a moment and he held his breath waiting for her to answer. She gave a nod and he felt relief wash through him as had half expected her to deny him.

"We'll be here after 9pm" she told him.

TBC-Cya all in a couple of weeks.. why? cause I have quizzes that I need to study for and pass :-P.. I hope you're all enjoying and Thank yous for the reviews!