Chapter 10

Rumple knew he had to get Belle somewhere safe, and now that he didn't care about the wizard and his magic anymore, he gathered his sleeping wife in his arms and took them and their horses back to the castle in a haze of purple magic.

Walking up the long spiral stairs into the bedchamber, Rumple gently sat Belle down on his bed and walked over to the windows. It was cold in the chamber, so he closed the window against the autumn chill. After making sure Belle was tucked in the covers, he went to the hearth and started a fire.

He stared into the blazing inferno for a long time, letting it warm his front, thinking.

The heat, though, couldn't reach the cold dread he held in his soul. He knew he needed to wake Belle up from the sleeping curse, but he was afraid. He didn't want to teach her magic, he didn't even want to ask that of her. He wanted more than anything to find a way to save Baelfire, but he couldn't ask Belle to do something like that. This was his quest to save his son, not hers. He couldn't ask her to sacrifice herself for him. But what other option did he have?

Even worse, he knew what she'd say if he did ask her. Walking over to sit beside his sleeping wife on the bed, he gently moved the hair out of her face and put his hand on her warm cheek. "Oh Belle," he sighed sadly, caressing her face. "I wish I could ask you what to do, but I know what you'd say. I know you would do anything to help me. You wouldn't even hesitate, you'd be upset that I didn't ask you right away. But that's the problem. I can't make you do this, Belle. I can't risk losing you…. I can't…." He trailed off, not wanting to voice his true fears, as if that might somehow make them come true.

But if he wanted to be honest with her when she awoke, he needed to be honest with himself now. "I can't ask you to do this. If we did, and something were to happen to you… I'd never forgive myself, Belle. I never forgave myself when I lost you the first time. I never thought you were coming back, I thought you were dead, and I never forgave myself for letting you go. I can't do that again, Belle, I can't lose you again…"

Rumple wondered briefly if they would be doomed to spend their lives losing each other over and over again. When they had gotten married, Belle had said, I have not spent my life losing you, I've spent my life finding you. Well, not having to find each other would be a lot better.

Shaking his head, Rumple tried not to think of all the times he'd lost her. Some memories were just too painful, and some he hadn't even let himself remember.

Letting his memories fade back into the past, Rumple brought himself back to the problem at hand. He thought about what he'd heard from Ms. Blanchard, Henry, and others who'd been in sleeping curses, and realized that he was being extremely selfish by keeping Belle under the curse to give himself time to think. That wasn't fair. Leaning down, he whispered, "I love you, Belle," and gently kissed her.

Belle sighed, and Rumple took her hand in his, smiling as she slowly opened her eyes. "Welcome back," he whispered, unable to keep his eyes dry.

Belle looked around, then looked up at him. "Rumple?" She asked, and when he smiled, she asked, "Where…. Where am I? What happened?"

"It's okay Belle," he said gently, "You're safe now."

Belle blinked several times, trying to sort out what had been a dream and what had been reality. She pushed herself into an upright position, and looked around again. Realizing she was back in the bedroom in Rumple's castle, she thought it was all a dream. Had the entire past day been a dream? Had they ever even left the caslte?

Seeing the look of confusion on her face, Rumple asked quietly, "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I… I'm not sure…." Belle stammered, and Rumple looked at her, concerned. "Was… was that all a dream?"

"No, no you weren't dreaming," Rumple said, "You were under a sleeping curse. Do you remember who cursed you?"

As her memories slowly came back, Belle began to nod slowly. So the past day hadn't been a dream. Then why were they back at the castle? How had they gotten back so quickly? And who was the mysterious man who had cursed her?

Trying to focus her thoughts and make sense of everything, Belle said, "Yes, yes I remember. It was a man, he… He came up to me and asked me if I needed help. I… I said no, I was okay. Then he grabbed my arm and he pricked my finger and then…." Belle trailed off again, sure that everything after that had been a nightmare.

Rumple saw the frightened, faraway look in her eyes. He knew what she had been through under the curse. "And then you went to the burning red room," he prompted. When Belle nodded, he saw the tears in her eyes, and he regretted taking her through it again. "Pricking one's finger is the easiest way to enact a sleeping curse. That's why he did that. The burning room is where everyone under the curse goes." He could see that his words were upsetting her, and he moved up onto the bed so he could put his arms around her. "This is all my fault. I'm so sorry Belle… For everything."

She didn't say anything for a while, just laid there, trying to make sense of all that she had gone through, and everything Rumple had just told her. So their fight hadn't been a dream. Clearly he wasn't still angry with her. What had she missed while she was asleep? Deciding she needed answers, Belle turned and laid her head on his lap so she could look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry too, Rumple," she said. "I shouldn't have brought that dumb book with me. And I should have told you about it. And what I said at the campsite, that wasn't fair of me. I'm sorry."

Rumple gave her a sad smile, amazed that she was apologizing to him. "You have nothing to apologize for, Belle," he whispered. "It was all my fault. I shouldn't have been so harsh on you, I was just scared. That book, it had dangerous things in it, Belle. Magic. Things I… I didn't want you to get involved in," he hurried through that last part, hoping she wouldn't catch the irony it held for him now. "I shouldn't let the anger get the best of me, I know that now. I should have asked you about it, and I'm sorry." He paused, and before she could respond he said, "And you had every right to be upset with me. As for what you said before you left, it was nothing more than the truth."

Belle sat up now, touched by the raw emotion in his voice. She wanted to forgive him, but she still needed answers. She gave him a small smile, putting her hand softly on the side of his face. "Why were you so upset about the book?" she asked innocently. "Honestly Rumple, if I thought it was dangerous I would have told you. I don't know why I didn't tell you, but I don't see why it matters."

Rumple nodded. So she really didn't know. "Did you read the back of the book? The final section?" He asked.

Belle shook her head. "I didn't get that far."

Rumple sighed, angry with himself for not asking her that in the first place. "Well," he said, "The final section of your book contains a list of spells to be used for survival. It is very detailed about how to enact them and what to use them for, but it conveniently forgets to notify the reader that the spells are dark magic. They are dangerous spells, Belle, and when I saw them I was afraid. I was afraid that you had been messing with things beyond your comprehension, and I didn't want any harm to come to you. I let my fear give way to anger, and it blinded me. I should have asked you Belle, I'm so sorry."

He looked like he was going to cry then, so Belle put her head on his shoulder and said, "It's okay Rumple, I'm okay now. I didn't cast any of the spells, so you don't have to worry. And you saved me from the sleeping curse, so I think you more than made up for it." He could hear the smile in her voice when she said that last part.

Still upset with himself, Rumple murmured, "But if it weren't for me, you would never have been put under the curse," and she laughed lightly.

"I'm trying to forgive you Rumplestiltskin," she said in the lovingly chiding voice that he loved to hear. "Try to just accept my forgiveness, and stop making it harder, okay?"

He laughed at that, once again marveling at the wonderful girl he held in his arms. "Alright darling," he whispered in her ear, "I gratefully accept your forgiveness, and will be eternally grateful that you are always so willing to give it to me."

"Of course I'm willing," she said, "I love you."

Looking into her eyes, Rumple said, "And I love you, too." He kissed her then, and she kissed him back, in one of those long, lingering kisses that they always shared after making up from a fight.

When they pulled apart, she put her head on his shoulder, and he decided that he wouldn't tell her any more until the morning. "Try to get some sleep darling," he whispered, "we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, and you've been through a lot."

Belle smiled into his shoulder and agreed to get some sleep. They both laid down in each other's arms, and as they drifted off to sleep all they thought about was each other.

In the middle of the night, Rumple was awoken by a muffled sob. Still half asleep, he thought he had been hearing things, and lay back down and closed his eyes. Then he heard it again, and, more awake this time, he looked down at the girl in his arms.

Belle was still asleep, but she was crying off and on. When Rumple's mind had fully awoken and he remembered the events of the previous day, he knew what was happening. He needed to wake her up.

"Belle," he said, shaking her shoulder. She didn't wake up, continued to sob. "Belle!" he said, louder this time.

That got through to her. Belle woke up slowly, not remembering where she was. "Rumple?" she murmured, and began crying again.

"Shhh, it was just a dream, sweetheart," he whispered, hugging her tighter. "You're alright now."

"I… I was back…. Back in the room, the burning one," she sobbed.

"I know, I know. It's an effect of the curse. But it's okay, it was just a dream."

He hugged her again, and Belle jumped. "Ouch," she said, grabbing her arm.

Rumple knew what was happening. "Let me see it," he said, and took her arm in his hand. It was badly burned. "It's part of the curse. While this recurring nightmare is just an effect of the sleeping curse, the room itself is real. You are no longer cursed, but you can still visit the dream world, and anything that happens to you there is real. Thankfully, I can take care of this," he informed her, and waved his hand over her arm to heal it with magic.

"Thank you," Belle said, for it was all she could really think to say. "Will… Will this dream keep coming back?"

"It's different for every person," he told her, "But you will learn to manage it over time. Don't worry, I'll help you. And every time you try to go back to sleep, I'll be right here with you. You don't have to worry about the dream world hurting you, I promise."

Belle smiled at him, and said, "I know you will. But I don't think I'm interested in going back to sleep tonight. I've had my fill of sleep recently."

"I'm sure you have," Rumple said, returning her smile.

Belle looked at him for a while, and then she thought about what he had just done. "Rumple," she said, concerned. "Why did you use magic?"

Rumple was still tired, so he didn't immediately think about her question. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Belle said, "yesterday you said using your magic here was dangerous now. But you just used magic." As she talked, she remembered that she had missed a lot of the previous day, being under the curse for most of it. "What did I miss?"

Rumple sighed and looked away, not wanting to tell her what had happened that morning. He wanted to find another way, to go back to the wizard and force him to make a new deal. But he knew that couldn't happen. And, if he told Belle what the wizard had said, she'd be willing to do what he wanted. It was the brave, selfless thing to do, and that's who she was. That's why you love her, isn't it? He asked himself, smiling briefly.

Watching him, Belle could tell he was reluctant to tell her something. "Rumple," she said, again using her chiding, motherly voice with him. "Haven't I told you often enough by now? You can tell me anything."

Rumple took a deep breath, looked into her eyes, and said, "I know darling, I'm sorry." He couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes, so he glanced down. "It's just…"

He trailed off, and Belle sensed that she was going to have to work for the information she wanted. "So, before, you didn't want to use magic because you didn't know what kind of magic the wizard had, and what he had power over. Now, you used magic to heal my arm." She paused, thinking. "Also, the last time I remember being awake was past midday. It was barely dusk when you woke me, and we were already back at the castle. That means you probably used magic to get us back here, too." Once she'd sorted out the facts, Belle was ready to take a guess, and she continued.

"That means you aren't afraid of the wizard anymore, which means you must have met him. The man who cursed me, that was the wizard, wasn't it?" By the look on her husband's face, she knew she was right. Now that she'd figured that out, he had to tell her more. "If he put me to sleep, he must have wanted something from you. So what did he want, Rumple?"

Rumple looked at his wife, his face at first a look of shock. How did she figure that out? Once he thought about it, though, Rumple remembered who he'd married. Belle was the smart one, always able to figure out a puzzle. Even more, she had always had a gift for reading people, and was especially good at reading him.

Sighing, Rumple decided to tell her the truth. He wasn't very good at that, but he figured he had to start somewhere. "Yes, you're right. I did meet the wizard. His name is Merlin. He is the one who put you under the sleeping curse." Pausing, Rumple thought about how he wanted to phrase the rest of the story.

Impatient, Belle said, "Did you ask him about saving Neal? Can he do that?"

Rumple shook his head. "I didn't have to ask. He already knew all about our 'little quest'. He said he will see if he can help us, but only if we do something for him first."

"Sounds like someone else I know," Belle teased. Rumple pretended to take offense to that, and Belle laughed. "So what did he want?"

"A book," Rumple said simply, reluctant to go on.

"A book? How hard can that be?" she said, excited.

"Well," Rumple said, "This book is special. It's in the library in the Queen's palace."

"The Queen's library!" Belle exclaimed, really excited now. "I've heard of it! It's said to have the largest collection of books in all the realms! I've always wanted to see it! Oh Rumple, please tell me we get to go there!"

Amused by her girlish excitement, Rumple nodded. "Yes, we will be going there," he said, trying to look serious. "But it won't be that simple. The book Merlin wants, it's a special book. It will only reveal itself to someone who can practice light magic."

Confused, Belle looked at him. "Okay," she said. "So we find someone who has light magic and take them with us."

Not wanting to tell her the last part, Rumple looked away. Belle noticed the look on his face and said, "But it isn't that simple, is it?" Rumple just shook his head. "So what's the catch, Rumple?" Belle said, sobered by the slouch of his shoulders and the slight tremble she heard in his voice. His reluctance to tell her spoke volumes. Whatever he had to say, it wasn't good.

"He… He said not just anyone can get the book. If we want him to help us, it has to be you."

Shocked, Belle stared at him for a moment before responding. "Me? But I… I can't work magic."

"I know," Rumple said, ashamed that he was asking this of her. "He… He wants me to teach you."

Belle frowned at that, thinking. Have Rumple teach her magic? How? "How can you teach me light magic?" She asked. "You can't do light magic."

"No, I can't," Rumple said. "But you can. You have it in you, I don't. I can teach you what it takes to bring out the magic you have in yourself, and you will figure out the rest."

To Rumple's surprise, Belle looked excited. "Alright," she said, "So you teach me magic. Sounds like fun! Why are you so upset, Rumple?"

Rumple gave her a slight smile, always amused that she could read him so well. "Because Belle," he said seriously, "magic always comes with a price. Even light magic. I don't want you to have to do this, I don't want magic to do to you what it does to most people." Seeing that she wasn't worried, Rumple continued. "Belle, magic is dangerous. If I were to teach you, and something happened…." He couldn't continue, not trusting his voice to stay steady.

Belle gave him a knowing smile, and once more put her hand on his cheek. "I know, Rumple. I know you are worried about me, but it will be fine. I know more about magic than most people, I know how easy it is to give in to the power. But I won't. I've seen what magic has done to you, and believe me I won't let that happen to myself. I can do this, Rumple, trust me." She moved her hand to his chin, bringing his head up and forcing him to look her in the eyes. "Besides," she added, "With you to watch over me, nothing will happen."

Rumple wanted to believe her, but he was still worried. "It's just… This is my quest, Belle, not yours. You don't have to risk yourself for me. If you did, and something happened, I'd never forgive myself." Unable to hold it in any longer, a single tear ran down Rumple's face.

Belle smiled, and wiped the tear away with her finger. "Don't you remember," she whispered, "We're a family now. Your quest is my quest. We'll do this together." And with that, she hugged him, excited about what she saw as their upcoming adventure together.

Rumple held her to him, grateful that she was so willing to help him. He'd never understand how she could be so selfless, and couldn't help thinking that he didn't deserve her. Yet, here they were. She loved him, and he loved her. As long as they had that, nothing else really mattered. She as right, if they were going to do this, they had to do it together.