Chapter 11

Rumple woke up the next morning and rolled over, expecting to find his wife still asleep by his side as usual. He was surprised, then, when the other side of the bed was empty. He laid there in confusion for a few seconds, before his mind fully awoke and he remembered the events of the previous day.

When had he fallen asleep? Belle obviously hadn't gone back to sleep, that's why she wasn't there. Rumple had planned on staying up all night with her, hoping that if he watched over her she'd be able to conquer the nightmares and go back to sleep. Clearly, the opposite had happened.

Rumple was startled when he heard someone approaching, then relaxed when he heard his wife's familiar voice. "Oh good, you're awake!" Belle smiled as she walked into the bedroom.

"Belle, I…" Rumple was going to say more, but he was interrupted by a yawn he couldn't manage to suppress.

Belle laughed and sat down next to him on the bed. "Don't bother apologizing for falling asleep last night, you needed it," she said, using her motherly voice with him again, before sarcastically adding, "Obviously," with a teasing smile.

How did she always know what he was going to say before he said it? She did that so often, and yet every time she did he was always surprised…

Rumple was still in a bit of a sleepy haze, and he realized he had been nodding off, and noticed also that Belle had been talking.

"…So I went down to see what it was. You know what I found?" She sounded so excited, and Rumple was embarrassed that he hadn't heard any of what she had said. Not knowing what else to do, he just shook his head, hoping she hadn't noticed his lack of attention.

Thankfully, she was so excited about whatever she was talking about that she hadn't noticed him at all. "There were some people in the marketplace, even though today isn't a market day, and they were all talking. You know what they were talking about?"

Rumple was suddenly confused. "Wait," he said slowly, "You went into town?"

Now it was Belle's turn to look confused. "Did you hear what I just said?" Rumple blushed again, and she realized he hadn't been paying attention. Laughing, she said, "Yes, I went to the market. You were still asleep and I was bored, so I went into the village to see what was going on. I was upstairs in an old house where a man was selling books when I heard a loud noise coming from the street, so I went down to see what it was."

That's what he had missed. Back on track, Rumple nodded for her to continue. "The people, they were all talking about Merlin. They say he's the new ruler of the kingdom, that ever since you and the Queen were taken by the curse he's been here and he's been ruling the entire kingdom. You know what else they said? They said he has been trying to find a way to go to another land. Another land! Do you know what that means?!"

Belle was so excited to share her news, but Rumple hadn't quite caught on yet. Seeing that he didn't know what that meant, Belle said, "He wants to go to our land! And if he is seeking a way to get to our land, then he can help us bring back Neal!"

That got Rumple's full attention. "He wants to go to our land?"

Belle nodded, excited. "The people say he wants to go to the land where the Queen's curse took everyone. That's our land!"

"Our land," Rumple laughed, briefly considering the irony that a few days ago they'd been back in Storybrooke, referring to the Enchanted Forest as "our land".

Belle didn't seem to hear him. "What I don't understand," Belle said, "is why he needs the book from the Queen's castle. If he wants to go to our land, why can't you make a deal with him to take him there, if, when we get back, he'll help us bring back Neal? What does he need the book for?"

Now Rumple was thinking. "Because," he said, "We don't have a way to get there. To get back. He needs the book to get to Storybrooke. We need the book to get to Storybrooke."

"I don't understand," Belle said, suddenly concerned. "Don't we have a way to get back? I mean, we left Neal's body there… I didn't really think about how we were going to get back, I just assumed…"

"Assumed I had a plan." Rumple finished her sentence for her, and she nodded.

"Do you?" She asked. "Have a plan? How are we going to get back?" She looked at her husband then, and saw in his eyes the faraway look he got when his thoughts were elsewhere. He made that face when he was thinking about Baelfire. She'd lost him again. "Rumple," she said, shaking his shoulder, "What are we going to do?"

Rumple looked into her eyes, but Belle had the feeling that he was looking right through her. Frowning, he suddenly stood up and headed for the stairs.

Knowing asking questions wouldn't get her anywhere, Belle followed him as he headed up the stairs into the tower of the castle that held his library.

When they walked in to the vast library, Belle couldn't help but remember the last time she'd been in here. "It's funny, you know," she said, to no one in particular, knowing Rumple wasn't listening. "The last time I was in here, Neal and I were trying to bring you back," the words were directed at her husband, but she knew his mind was elsewhere. "Now look where we are." She felt the need to fill the silence, even if he didn't hear her. When he found what he was looking for, he'd tell her.

Amusing herself, Belle tried to guess what he'd say when he did come around to revealing his plan. He'd use that tone that he always used when he was explaining something to her, sounding like a lover and a teacher at the same time, and he'd end his sentence with her name. This is a very special place, Belle, or, this time, she guessed it'd be this is a very important book, Belle. She laughed to herself, amused by how well she knew him, wondering if he knew she could do that.

When she heard Rumple's footsteps returning to her, Belle looked up. When their eyes met, she saw that Rumple's thoughts were back in the present; he had a plan. Smiling, Belle waited to see what he had to say, and to see if her predictions were right.

They were close. When Rumple reached her, she saw that he held a vial in his hand. When she asked what is was, he said, "This is a very powerful spell, Belle," and she laughed she was proven correct. Not noticing her glee, Rumple continued. "This vial contains the only bit of light magic I ever bottled. This," he said, holding it out for her to see, "This is where you will start."

Suddenly Belle's amusement was gone, replaced now by intrigue. Rumple watched as the emotions played across her face, at first confusion, quickly replaced with interest, and then her natural caution kicked in. Fighting the urge to take it from his outstretched hand, Belle tried to focus on the matter they had been discussing before. "That's where I'm going to start, what, learning magic?" She asked, and when Rumple nodded, she said, "Okay, but that doesn't explain how we are going to get back to Storybrooke."

Rumple looked excited and impatient when he said, "The book. The one Merlin wants you to get for him, its magic will allow us to travel across realms, to return to Storybrooke. But, as you know, the only way for us to get that book is for you to learn magic. So, are you going to take it?"

Belle looked at him warily, but her interest and curiosity won out over caution and she gingerly took the vial from his hand and began to study it. "It… it just looks like sand," she said, not seeing anything special in it.

"It is sand," Rumple said, and Belle looked up at him sharply. Laughing at the grimace on her face, he said, "there is magic in it, you just have to find it."

Belle nodded and said, "And how do I do that?" Her gaze slowly dropping back down to the object in her hands.

Without answering, Rumple walked toward the stairs and started to descend. "Are you going to tell me?" Belle said, but he was already gone. Flustered and a bit annoyed, Belle hurried after him.

When she got down the stairs, she found herself in the main hall of the castle, and, looking around, spotted Rumple at his spinning wheel. Why was he spinning? Why now? Confused, Belle strutted over and sat down next to him on the bench, still studying the vial.

"No," he said suddenly, and she looked up. "I'm not going to tell you. I can't tell you. You have to find your magic yourself. I'm going to show you what I do."

Unsure of what he meant, Belle just sat there and watched as he began to spin. When the straw turned into gold, he stopped, smiled, and held it out for her to see.

"I've watched you spin before," she said. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"This is how I find my magic," he said, "Through spinning. You have to find a way to find your magic."

Belle was at a loss, so she said, "Have you ever taught someone to start using magic before?"

Rumple hesitated, not sure that was a story he wanted to tell her, but he slowly began to nod. "Yes," he said, "I have."

"And what did you tell them?" Belle asked. "How did you tell them to find their magic?"

Despite himself, Rumple grimaced. It wasn't a memory he wanted to partake in. "That," he said slowly, "Was different. I taught my last pupil dark magic. For me, it is a lot easier to come by," he said wryly. "But you, you have to find light magic."

"Okay," Belle said slowly. "Well, what's the first step? What should I do?"

Turning to her, Rumple let go of his dark memories and smiled. "Magic isn't about what you know, or what you think, or even what you do," he said. "Magic is about what you feel."

Belle nodded. "What I feel…." She trailed off as she continued to scrutinize the sand in the vial she held. "What I feel…"

Rumple began to shake his head. "No, you're thinking too much." Belle looked up at him, confused. Rumple laughed, "I know that face. That's the face you make when you are studying something, or reading a book you really have to think about. That's your thinking face."

Not aware of what face she had been making, Belle said, "My thinking face?"

Rumple laughed again. "Yes, your thinking face. The one where you furrow your brow and purse your lips," he laughed as Belle tried to imitate what he was saying. "Yes! That one," and this time they both laughed.

Trying to remain focused, Belle asked, "I'm thinking too much? What does that mean?"

Not exactly sure himself, Rumple asked, "Well, what were you thinking about?"

Belle took a minute to contemplate that before saying, "I was trying to figure out what I would do with this vial if I found magic. Would it just start glowing? How do I know how to find my magic if I don't even know what I'm doing with it?"

Rumple grinned at her. "See?" he said, amused. "You were thinking. Don't think so much. Don't worry about what you are doing, just let yourself feel."

Belle still didn't get it. "Feel what?"

That was the problem. Rumple wasn't really sure. When he had taught Cora to use magic, he had taught her to feel all her anger and pain, and to imagine unleashing it on her enemies. That was the easiest way to access one's dark magic. Light magic, though, was unknown territory to him.

Seeing the look of hesitation on his face, Belle prompted, "What do you feel? When you are spinning, what do you feel?"

Deciding honesty was the best course of action, Rumple paused, then said, "I remember how I felt the first time I held Baelfire in my arms, how I felt when his mother left, how I felt when I let him go, when I lost him, and how I felt when I finally found him again." Pausing, Rumple let himself get lost in his thoughts. Without really thinking, he said, "And I remember how I felt when I first met you."

Belle smiled, and couldn't keep herself from getting teary. When she looked at him, she saw that Rumple was really lost in his emotions, and he was spinning. Spinning straw into gold. He was physically there, but in his mind he was elsewhere. That's how he does it, she thought, he lets himself get lost in the past, lost in his emotions and memories.

Following his example, Belle closed her eyes. She remembered being a little girl, sitting with her papa by the fire in the palace. She remembered how it felt when he hugged her, and how different it felt when he had hugged her goodbye. She remembered the fear she had had when she left that palace with the Dark One, but how proud she had been to know she had saved her family and her people.

She smiled to herself as she remembered how annoyed she had been at Gaston when he had put his arm in front of her like she needed protecting. How it had felt to tell her father that she was in control of her own destiny, her own fate.

She remembered how it had felt to fall in love, to find that there was a man behind the monster that everyone else saw, a man that only she could see, that only she could love. And she remembered what it had felt like to marry him, to make their love official, to promise each other that they would be together forever.

"Belle," Rumple's voice interrupted her memories, and she opened her eyes. "Look."

When she looked down, she gasped in surprise. The vial was glowing yellow.

"You did it," Rumple said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Yeah…" She said, her voice a mixture of surprise and triumph, "Yeah, I guess I did." She sat there, staring at the vial, not really believing her eyes. Had she really done that? What exactly did she do?

"So," Rumple said cautiously, "How did it feel?"

"How did… how did what feel?" Belle stammered, feeling heat rising into her face.

"Using magic," he said simply, "How did it feel?"

"Oh…" Belle said, blushing even more now. "It… I… I didn't really know what I was doing, so… I didn't really feel like I was using magic, I just let myself think about my past, and about how I felt at certain times…" She trailed off, blushing again.

"That's good," Rumple said approvingly. "Very good. It's a start." With that he got up and headed back to the stairs.

"Wait," Belle called after him. "That's it? What do I do now?" She got no reply. Sighing, she decided Rumple made a far better husband than a teacher, and she rose and reluctantly followed him up the stairs.

When she got up the stairs, Belle suddenly had a question. "Rumple," she said, and he looked up from a book he had in his hands. "What was in the vial? You said you bottled light magic, but what was it?"

Rumple smiled at her. "I think you know." And he continued to read the book.

Frustrated, Belle walked up to him and took the book. "No," she said, forcing him to pay attention to her, "I don't know. What was it?"

Rumple began to laugh, and she only became more frustrated. "Patience dearie," he said, "Don't get upset. Light magic is hard to control, and if you let frustration and anger take over you won't be able to do anything."

Belle realized that made sense, and so she took a deep breath, reminding herself to stay calm. "So, what was in the vial?"

Rumple laughed again. "Calm, but still determined. I like it." The look on Belle's face told him praise wasn't going to be good enough for her. She wanted answers. Steering her toward a bench, Rumple sat her down and then sat next to her.

"If you want to know what kind of magic was in the vial," he said, and she nodded that she did. "Then think about what you were feeling when you enacted it."

Belle looked away and blushed, and Rumple smiled, knowing he was right. "You don't have to tell me, but think about it. What were you feeling right before I said your name?"

Belle continued to blush and stare at the floor. She had been thinking about him, about meeting him, falling in love and getting married. But what did that mean? What was in the vial? She had an idea, but was such a thing really possible?

The more she thought about it, the more excited Belle got, and without thinking she blurted, "Did you really do it? I didn't think it was possible to bottle true love."

Rumple smiled at her, and when she did make eye contact she realized what she had said and turned even more red. Trying to make it less awkward for her, Rumple laughed and said, "Yes, it is possible. I bottled true love, with a little unwitting help from our friends the Charmings. I wanted to bottle it because true love is the most powerful magic of all, but once I had bottled it I realized it was useless to me. I couldn't work light magic, and…" he paused before saying, "Only those who have true love can access its power."

Belle nodded. "When was it? I mean, when did you bottle it?"

Rumple gave her a sad smile, not sure he trusted himself to talk about it. "After… After I let you go."

Belle nodded, her smile gone. "So that's why you couldn't use it," she said.

He nodded. "I thought you were gone forever. Even before I lost you, I wouldn't let myself admit that someone could love me," he paused and looked at Belle's face, seeing his same emotions reflected in her eyes. "And then, once you were gone, I believed that I would never find someone who would love me again."

Wiping her eyes to keep from crying, Belle took a deep breath and then laughed unsteadily. "Well," she said, "You were wrong."

Rumple smiled and said, "Yes, I was wrong, and I've never been happier to be wrong in my life."

Belle laughed and hugged him then, and they both momentarily forgot all the weight they carried on their shoulders, and simply enjoyed reliving the life they had shared together, trying not to think too much about what lay ahead for them.