After a while, Theresa went back to Chino to be with Eddie, and Seth broke up with her. Him and Holly had to deal with that problem that he created. It seemed like he had a habit of creating trouble. Actually trouble just seemed to follow us around like we were in a soap opera…which I have never seen or spent a sick day binging on episodes of. We didn't get cable at my old house okay.
She was leaving and I wanted to tell her goodbye. Even though I thought it was a terrible idea, Seth came with me. We went to the office as I tried to avoid listening to Seth babbling about sex. There was a man working.
"Hi, I was wondering if Theresa Diaz was still here." I asked him.
"Sorry, Sweetie, you missed her." He told me.
"Oh, sorry for bothering you." I replied as I walked out and
"One day we're going to look back on this and we're going to laugh and we're going to keep laughing until we are unable to laugh anymore." Seth told me. "Are you okay?"
"Well I wanted to say goodbye, but obviously she didn't share the sentiment, so I'm fine." I explained. "Seth promise you won't go to Chino to look for her. You finally have a chance to be with Holly. She likes you and she will probably forgive you for this misstep."
"Well I think we could all use a break from drama." He declared. "I am going to declare this month Drama-free Month."
"Yeah, I wouldn't count on a month of no drama." I quipped.
"Okay, Drama-free Week." He responded. "There is an option for an additional week though."
"Okay." I agreed as I noticed that Luke was outside one of the rooms and he was kissing Julie. "Well that lasted all of thirty seconds. Hide."
In the morning, we were still kind of freaked out by it. I was blue t-shirt blouse and jean shorts.
"I cannot believe how disgusting that was." Seth declared. "Who hooks up in a motel?"
"What are you two talking about?" Kaitlin asked as she entered the pool house.
"If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell Marissa?" I asked her.
"What is it?" She asked curiously.
"Your mom is fucking Luke Ward." I explained. At that point, I noticed that she looked like she wanted to vomit.
"That's not even legal." Kaitlin responded. "That's statutory rape. My mom is a rapist. No one can find out about this because I do want her going to prison."
"You have to convince your mom to end it." I replied. "The easiest way to make it stop is to get it over with quickly."
"I can't guarantee that I can make her stop." Kaitlin responded.
"I could help you." I offered.
"Can we just have a week without any drama?" Kaitlin asked rhetorically, possibly asking God.
"Seth already tried that and then we saw them kissing." I explained. "I didn't mean to fill your mind with those images before breakfast."
"I just hope that I'll be able to eat lunch today." She responded. "If there's one thing that makes me feel good, it's how hot you look in those shorts."
"I'll do whatever it takes to get your mind off of it." I promised.
"Okay, not to interrupt this impromptu love-making session, but I need to go." Seth remarked as I glared at him as he walked out.
"So, Hadley said that they're shooting some scenes for The Valley here and she can get us some passes." Kaitlin explained. "We might even get a chance to be extras."
"I'm not really looking to be on TV." I declared. "We need to get to school."
We went to meet Seth outside.
"You know I thought that maybe they're not having sex." He offered. "Maybe they just both wanted to get away from the Newpsies and their drama."
Once we were at school, we were met by Summer and Marissa.
"Oh my god, you guys, we have the craziest news ever." Summer declared. Well that was quite a coincidence. "Nothing that you could say could ever top this ever."
That seemed like it would be hard to believe.
"We met Grady Bridges." Summer explained. It seemed like they were filming here. "He invited us to his birthday party tomorrow night."
"The star of the hit TV show invited you to his cool Hollywood birthday party?" Seth asked in disbelief. "That is awesome."
"You know if you want to come, all you have to do is ask." Summer replied. "He did say that I could bring some friends. Now I have to show everyone the pictures of us."
"You ever been to LA before?" Kaitlin asked me. I shook my head. "So it's settled. We are going."
"Do I have to get him a gift?" I questioned.
"Babe, there is absolutely nothing you could get him that he couldn't get himself." She told me as the bell rang and I realized that we needed to get to class. She gave me a peck on the lips before we walked in different directions. I heard some whistles from behind me.
Later in the day, I decided to talk Holly in the common room.
"So do you have any pull with Luke at the moment, maybe I don't know some incriminating information about him?" I asked.
"What's going on?" She questioned.
"He's having sex with Julie Cooper and need to find a way to get him to end it." I explained.
"Please tell me that sentence didn't just come out of your mouth." Holly responded.
"I'm afraid that it did." I replied.
"Why is Newport so fucked up?" She asked. I wished that I knew the answer to that.
"That's why I want to know if you have anything to blackmail him into the ending the relationship with." I remarked.
"Well I do know that he loves The Monkees, but I don't think that's enough." She explained. "Seriously how can he have sex with Marissa's mom? This is really going to hurt her if she finds out. I mean it's probably not as bad as Tijuana, but it's pretty bad."
"I think you sleeping with her mom would probably be as bad as Tijuana." I pointed out.
"How's Seth?" She asked. "I'm trying to be mad but all I want to do is put his…"
"Do not finish that sentence." I ordered. "We just need to hope that this is over by the time that we get back from LA tomorrow. Maybe you should stay behind."
That night I went home to see Seth was watching The Valley. It seemed like he was doing research.
"Did you buy this?" I asked.
"Yeah." He answered.
"Why didn't ask me because I have Seasons 1 and 2." I explained.
"You know I never really noticed how much this Grady guy is like me." He noted. "He's freakishly like me. If you could have the real me or the TV me, which one you take?"
"Neither, because you're my brother and I'm gay." I reminded him. "Seriously, Holly doesn't even watch the show. Stop stressing."
The doorbell rang and there was Kaitlin. I couldn't help but wonder if she had had a chance to talk to her mom yet.
"So I talked to Holly to see if she had anything on Luke." I responded. "Have you talked to your mom?"
"She said that who she was dating was none of my business." Kaitlin replied. I wanted to bang my head against the wall. "Also Marissa said that she doesn't want to go to LA. She thinks that you're the cause of all the problems in her life and she wants to stay away from you."
"But the problems were already there." I pointed out. "Holly was still cheating on her and your dad was still embezzling."
"I know that and I told her that." Kaitlin replied. "I just don't think this battle is worth fighting, Sammie."
The following morning, Seth and I were in the kitchen.
"So what do you think of the idea of Kaitlin and I not going to LA?" I questioned. "I could take her somewhere nice and Marissa could go to LA."
"No, you're going." He told me.
"We don't even know if they will let us go." I pointed out. "Are you going to lie to them?"
"No, that was the old me. I have evolved into a man of honor." He replied. Something told me the only evolving he knew about was Pokémon. "So I need you to talk to them. What? They're your parents too and you are somehow the good child."
"What are you doing?" I questioned.
"I'm working on the business plan and it's going to be awesome." He remarked.
We went outside where they were eating breakfast.
"Is it just me Sammie or do our parents look better every day?" He asked. I was pretty sure that they saw through his flattery.
"What do you want Seth?" Mom responded.
"Mom, can't a child just admire the beauty of his parents in the morning light?" Seth asked as Sandy guffawed. "You don't look a day over perfection. Also there's a party in Hollywood tonight."
"Hell no." Dad responded. Well that settled that. I figured I should decide where to take Kaitlin.
"Why?" Seth persisted.
"I don't have to tell you why, I'm just telling you no." The man replied.
"Come on, I'm telling you the truth to establish a bond of truth here and I could have lied. I could have easily made up something." Seth responded. It was getting sad. "Sammie please back me up."
"It's this guy's birthday party. We'll be back by midnight and no one will get drunk or high or both." I explained.
"Okay, whose birthday?" Dad asked.
"Grady Bridges." Seth answered.
"Oh, the guy from The Valley? I love that show." She responded.
"Will you keep him out of trouble?" Dad asked me. I nodded. He sighed, looking like he was gonna say yes. "You call when you get there and don't spend an extra minute in LA. The town will steal your soul."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you." Seth replied, hugging him. "Now all that we have to do is convince Marissa."
"I'm guessing I have to do that." I remarked as I walked off. Why couldn't I have just gone on a nice date with Kaitlin?
After much begging, Kaitlin and I managed to convince her to go.
So the first thing that we ended up experiencing was LA traffic. Holly was busy talking to Luke so it was me, Kaitlin, Marissa, Seth, Summer, and Anna. Marissa was complaining about how her mom was never home anymore. I couldn't put my headphones on because I was driving. Marissa seemed to think she was having an affair. I really hoped that Holly would be able to break them up.
The party was…at a strip club. That was certainly information not to tell the folks. I wished that I had known that ahead of time. I still wondered how we got in. Did they not know that we underage?
"How does that guy play high school?" Seth asked me before he walked off leaving Kaitlin and I alone.
"It's Hollywood." I responded.
I decided that it was a good time to call home. I knew that doing it from inside would be a bad idea. At that moment, I noticed that Summer and Anna seemed to be fighting with Paris Hilton.
"Hey there, having fun yet?" A stripper asked as she grabbed me. Our eyes locked and both of our jaws dropped. It was my aunt.
"Hailey…" I stammered.
"Sammie?" She responded. This was not good. Both of us were very confused by the other's presence and then some sleazy guy came and told her to dance some more. Why was it that we couldn't just have a normal party?
"What are going to do?" Kaitlin asked.
"I don't know but this is my mom's worse nightmare." I declared. "All she does is worry about Hailey."
I decided to call dad's cell to avoid Kirsten picking up.
"Please tell me Seth didn't get in trouble." He responded.
"No, not Seth, Hailey." I remarked.
"You found Hailey?" He asked.
"She kind of got a job as a stripper." I explained uneasily.
"There are strippers at this party?" He responded in disbelief. "I never should have agreed to this."
"Do you have any idea what we should do about it?" I questioned.
"Don't do anything. Hailey is not your responsibility." He told me. I wished that was true but she was family now. "What club are you at?"
"Luna Chicks." I answered nervously.
"Luna Chicks? Well that's just great." He declared. What was so bad about Luna Chicks?
"What are you gonna do?" I questioned.
"I will deal with Hailey tomorrow." He promised. "Meanwhile, I want you guys to leave immediately.
"We need to go." I told Kaitlin. "We need to find everyone and get out of here."
"Sammie, we can't just leave your aunt here." She pointed out. Why did she have to be right?"
"But she should be able to be a stripper if she wants to." I declared. "What am I supposed to do? Say that I want a lap dance from her?
"You have to come up with some sort of plan." She pointed out. "We need to find her and get out of here."
"Okay, find the others and keep them in one place. I'll do my best to capture Hailey." I remarked.
"You can't forcibly remove her by yourself." She reminded me. Why did I have to be so small and lacking muscle tone? We walked off together. I really hoped that Seth wasn't flirting with Paris Hilton. One thing that I knew definitely wasn't possible was the two of them having intelligent conversation. I tried to think just what we could do. Between the two of us, we could probably carry her out, but we would probably have to find a way to make her unconscious. I did not want to get busted buying rape drugs. We ended up finding Seth, but Marissa, Anna, and Summer were still gone.
"So isn't this place fun?" Seth asked me before I noticed her and he noticed who the stripper was. "Oh my God, that's Hailey."
"Yes, and we need to find a way to get her out of here." I replied. He rushed over to her.
"So, this is what you call aerobics now?" Seth responded. "My mom's gonna freak when she finds out."
"So don't tell her." Hailey instructed. "Not that she'd care.
"I'm sure that she would care if she knew about this." I remarked.
"Hey, I make good money." Hailey argued.
Suddenly a man pushed her onto the stage, saying that she needed more cocaine. I made sure to record that because it could get the place shut down. I didn't know if I would be able to take it to the police.
"Hey, leave her alone!" I ordered.
"Who are you?" He asked me.
"I'm her niece and I'm not leaving without her." I replied.
"Yes you are, Bitch." He responded as a bouncer grabbed me. Kaitlin reached into her purse and pulled out some pepper spray and I then sprayed the boss. I tried to get to Hailey, but we didn't have the time and now they were pissed at us. We didn't even know where Marissa, Summer, and Anna were.
We decided to drag Seth into the ladies room as we tried to figure out our next move.
"So what are we doing and why does it smell so nice in here?" Seth questioned.
"Okay, one thing that we need to do is find the others." I pointed out before Marissa walked in.
"Why is Seth in here?" She asked.
"Not now, we're trying to figure out a way to get Hailey out here." I explained. "Lock the door. Also do you know where Summer and Anna are?"
"I think that they were watching a new episode with Grady." Marissa replied.
"Do you think you could pretend to be a stripper?" Kaitlin asked. Three of us stared at her. "She's the only one of us who would be believable."
"Let's just go to her dressing room." I responded as we exited the bathroom.
We ended up finding her, but the guys threw us and Hailey out. That wasn't quite what I had planned, but I guess it worked.
"What are you gonna do, Bitch?" He asked me.
"What are you going to do, hit a 16-year-old?" Jimmy interrupted.
"Dad, what are you doing here?" Kaitlin asked him. Things were getting weird, like an episode of The Valley. I was pretty sure that I was becoming addicted to it.
"Why don't you guys head back? I'm gonna give Hailey a lift." Jimmy replied.
We eventually found Summer and Anna and started to go back to the car. We headed down the walk of fame.
"Okay, so we make a good team." Seth replied. "I'm the leader, Sammie's second in command, Kaitlin's smart one, Summer's the strong one, Marissa's the pretty one and Anna's the…other one."
"I'm the one who landed your dream girl." Anna quipped. That was kind of rude but true.
"So do you think the restaurant will be a hit?" Kaitlin asked us. I had no idea.
Once we got back, Kaitlin and I headed to the pool house. I wanted to be somewhere we could make out while the show played in the background…without Seth. Unfortunately, Marissa followed us.
"So did you have fun tonight?" I asked her.
"Yeah, I kind of did." She admitted. "Though, I didn't like it when Kaitlin said that I should be a stripper."
"I said you could be a stripper." Kaitlin corrected. "I mean that you're hot enough and tall enough to be."
"Well I'm gonna pee." Marissa responded before heading to the bathroom.
No sooner than she left did Holly come in.
"Okay, I have officially broken up Luke and Julie." Holly responded.
"You should have called first." Kaitlin replied as we saw a stunned-looking Marissa.
"All of you knew and no one told me?" Marissa asked angrily before she ran out.
Yeah, we were definitely in an episode of The Valley.
So I've finally returned. I decided to skip another episode because of less Theresa stuff. Now Marissa knows about the Luke and Julie and we never actually saw Luke during any of it. Please don't forget to review.