I sit it the murky light for hours. Boredom doesn't even begin to describe it. I don't even get tired so I can't escape with a few hours of sleep. I just stare at the blank wall, trying to get used the new foggy edges round my vision. I'm dreading this 'Doc' person but I also want them to come. The waiting makes everything worse, building the worry in my chest.
"How could you be so stupid?" I whisper to myself. Believing Britney was the last thing I should have ever done. But I was on my own, my desperate need to find someone to hold onto screwed up my judgement. I should have ran but instead I let her twist me into believing her. She saw I was vulnerable and she took the opportunity. "Idiot!" I stand up, shaking with anger at myself. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" I kick the wall with each word. The tingle spreads up my leg and I kick hard, I want it to break. I want my foot to shatter and for me to fall to the floor.
"I wouldn't keep doing that if I were you." I freeze. The voice is deep and smooth but with a slight rough edge to it. The lights flicker on again and I wince as my eyes readjust. I don't turn. I keep my head against the wall.
"The Doc I presume?" He chuckles.
"Yes. I'm the Doctor around here." I feel sick. The Doctor was a character in a TV show back home. He saved people. But I can have a pretty good guess that my safety isn't this version's priority.
"What do you want with me?"
"I want to help you." I march up to the bars.
"There is no help for me!" I spit at him. He's middle aged, lines on his forehead and a receding hairline with thin, blonde, curls. He takes my wrist with the slightest grip. His hands are soft and gentle.
"I know that isn't true. Don't you want to be normal again? I can undo what Alex did to you." I pull back and he doesn't refuse.
"He didn't do anything to me. He tried to help. This isn't his fault."
"Are you sure? What about your father? He could've been saved."
"No he couldn't. He was about to change. Alex only did it because it was his only chance. It just didn't work that's all. It isn't his fault." I hear the doors open and the Doc's hands grab the top of my arms and he whispers in my ear.
"Well I'm going to try anyway." Then the gentleness is gone and he drags me up the stairs backwards. My feet trip along each step and I lose my footing over and over again. We finally get onto flat ground but I still can't stand up properly. I struggle but it's no use he just continues to drag me along the corridor and then flips me to the front before throwing me onto a chair. The same man from earlier is back, along with another woman. They start to fasten my arms and legs to the chair while I continue to thrash.
It doesn't do much. Within seconds I'm held down and unmoving.
"Thank you Rob, you can go now." I swallow as Rob waves before he leaves.
"Have fun." The woman laughs, shuts and locks the door and then moves to the table to the side.
"Now what?" I ask. Trying to sound casual but they can hear the fear in my voice. I see lines of metal equipment on the table, tubes, syringes and then the Doc moves into my view.
"Now we're going to begin." My head pounds as he reaches a hand out. "Jen are you ready?" She hands him a syringe and places a mask over his mouth. "Good. Now you're going to feel a sharp scratch." I watch with wide eyes as he rolls up my sleeve and then moves to stick the needle into my arm. As the tip touches my skin it snaps. He lifts it up. "Interesting." Jen hands him another one but when the needle hits my skin it simply snaps in half.
"Well looks like you're out of options." He chuckles behind his mask.
"Of course not." Then I see the flash of the scalpel in his hand.
"No." I breathe. He leans forward so I can't see what he's doing. "Please no." I start to beg. Needles I can handle but a blade. I scream as he pushes it into my skin and breaks through. Hot liquid runs down my arm.
"There we go." He says and then inserts a tube into my wound. I feel sick though I wouldn't throw up anything. I look out of the corner of my eye as my blood starts to collect in a bag hanging down next to the chair. I roll my head to the other side as tears start to form. He pats my shoulder. "See you in an hour or so." Then they both leave. The pain is nothing compared to what I've been through already but it seems to be the only thing I know any more. The bag gets heavier and shifts, snagging my cut. I suck in a shaky breath and a flow of pain and nausea hits me. I close my eyes and try to sleep but it doesn't come. Instead I cry. I cry for the loss of my mother, my brother, my father and now any hope. I don't know what will happen to me in the next few days or even hours and for the first time I'm scared. Not the adrenaline spiked, survival fear but the weak and helpless fear that paralyses rabbits in headlights and causes babies to wail for their mothers. But I have no one to wail to. No one is going to rush through that door and comfort me. No one is going to save me.
"Abbey." A voice breaks through. I don't know whether I've been out or not. I'm not even sure if the voice is real. "Abbey." The voice hisses and someone shakes my arm. I lift back into conciousness to see another figure looming over me. This one is thin and different from anyone I've seen but my vision is too blurred to work out what they look like. "Open you're mouth." I keep it shut. I don't trust anyone. Gentle fingers press at my lips. "I'm not going to hurt you." I hesitate but then let my mouth to open. I don't have anything left to lose. Something slides onto my tongue. "It'll help. I promise. I have to go." They leave and I feel the small tablet dissolve on my tongue. Already the pain has started to fade and I feel the hope of sleep approaching. Maybe someone's watching out for me after all.