It's just all so Farfetch'd!

I couldn't quite figure out what was going on. All that I really knew was that I was battling Silver's Zubat with my own. The entire week had sort of been this giant fast-paced adventure for me, which kind of stank. If this was what all 16 year olds felt like, I'd rather go back to being 15 again.

"Finish it off with Bite, Dracula!" I called out as Dracula was able to knock Silver's Zubat unconscious by biting it.

"Hmph," Silver said returning his pokemon. "It's just as I thought. You're pathetically weak. Out of my way!" He said as he shoved past Lyra and I.

"So that was Silver?" Lyra asked. I nodded. "I can't believe you aren't going to chase after that guy after what he did to your pokemon back at Indigo…"

"He'll be taught his lesson in due time, Lyra. For now, let's get through this forest." I said motioning towards the Ilex Forest.

*Ilex Forest*

First pokemon seen: Caterpie

"Ok, Liteweight, I want you to weaken it so I can catch it!"

"Destroy!" Liteweight yelled as he Tackled the Caterpie into a tree, squishing it.

"Dammit Liteweight!" I yelled.

"Hey," The Hopip turned to me. "Don't make me Tackle you too! Arggg!" He charged for me, and then a gust of wind blew. "Gah!" He cried. "Help! Help! Help!"

"Iiiii got you, stop whining." Talon the Pidgeotto said as he grabbed Liteweight with his talons.

"Hey you!" A boy ran up to me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Find my two Farfetch'd an I'll give you the HM Cut, which you need to get through here." Wait….What? Find this kid's lost pokemon?

"How did you lose both your Farfetch'd?" Lyra asked, a little annoyed.

"They don't listen to me because they're too high a level and technically belong to my boss. I work at the Charcoal Kiln."

"Don't worry." I said. "Flint and I will get them back for you!"

"Yeah we'll- wait, what? Why do I have come?"

"Well, because you're the only one who can learn Cut when we get the HM!"

"This is outrageous. I ought to be able to learn Cut too!" Liteweight said, attempting to cross two stubby Hopip arms.

"I'd say it's Farfetched." Talon joked.

"BUAHAHAHAHA!" Gabriel started laughing hysterically.

"Kid, it's not that funny…" Dracula said. "And a pun, Talon? Have some more originality."

"Hank…"Talon whined. "Dracula's being a buzzkill."

"Hank…" Liteweight whined. "Talon's telling on Dracula."

"Hank…" Gabriel whined. "Liteweight is trying to get Talon in trouble."

"Oh, my Arceus, Shut UP!" Flint yelled.

There was a bunch of silence until Gabe finally asked. "What's an Arceus?"

"That's not important." I replied. "Now you all get along. Lyra will take good care of you. Flint and I will be right back."

*Later*

"Catch him!" Lyra screamed at me as I returned and saw Liteweight floating away again. Goodness, he's so light.

*Even Later*

"I'm sorry Flint, but you're the only one who can learn this move…" I said.

"And if I refuse to learn it?"

"Oh no big, we just have to stop traveling around the region, go back home, and chances are that since the region is a Nuzlocke, you'll all die due to some kids in town that borrow you guys from Professor Elm for a pokemon battle."

Flint didn't buy into my created chain reaction, but everyone else sure did. All four of my other pokemon pinned Flint down to the ground. "Teach him Cut now, before we all die!" Dracula yelled.

"No! Please! I don't want that move! I don't want it!" Flint said struggling.

"Im so sorry, my friend." I said. "But this has to be done. If I had any other pokemon that could learn Cut, I'd teach it to them." I took out the new HM01 of Cut that I had.

"Ready Flint?" I asked. He shook his head vigorously. Flames started to swirl a bit.

"I don't think he's ready." Talon said. "Let's get this over with quickly, before he gets too powerful for us to hold him back."

"No!" Flint screamed. "No! no! Nooooooo!"

*Even Later*

As soon as I had everyone in their pokeballs, I sent out Gabriel.

"'K Gabe," I said, "Let's get out of this forest."

"What's that man doing?" Gabe asked, pointing to a man headbutting a tree.

"He's using Headbutt, I guess." I said.

"I want it."

"What?" I laughed a bit.

"I want to learn Headbutt Hank, teach me."

"Well, you just sort of do what he just did on that tree."

"Headbutt!" Gabriel yelled as he rammed himself into a tree.

"Hey, Hank." Lyra leaned in. "You know you can find pokemon by headbutting trees."

"Like this Hoothoot!" Gabriel said, holding up a dead Hoothoot. Jeez, that Togepi is scary.

*Near the Exit of Ilex Forest*

"I can't find my way out, will you help me?" a familiar woman asked.

"Have we met?"

"No." She grinned. "You may have met a friend of mine."

"I'm not going to help you find the way out." I said. "It's right there." I said pointing.

"Screw this." Gabriel said. "I'm going."

"Oh is this pokemon going to show me the exit? What a smart pokemon! Thank you!"

Gabriel gave me a weird look, and I returned it. Neither one of us knew what the hell to say.