Natasha felt the change on the air of the room, like something had shifted in the wake of her words and none of them would ever be the same. The first sign of everyone's surprise was the way that Clint's head whipped around to look at her. She could see the questions there and she could understand his surprise, although he had been there for her through everything, she had made a deliberate choice to keep the worst of what was done to her away from him. It was the wrong choice, nobody in the world knew her better than Clint Barton – she could trust him with anything.
"I think that it would be inappropriate for him to stay..." Maria began, "... medical information is bound by confidentiality, he wouldn't be told anything about your condition if you were injured and in medical..."
"This is different," Natasha interrupted, meeting the gaze of her superior agent with no indication that the matter was open to discussion. "I'm not injured Maria and what is happening here could have long-term effects for me. Since Clint is my partner and the only person that has kept me sane in the last couple of weeks, he's going to need to know sooner or later. This is my choice and I've made it."
The thin line of the other agent's mouth told the other occupants of the room exactly how Maria Hill felt about the situation but she wouldn't argue the point with Natasha, instead she turned to Clint himself. The look she gave him was cold. "Are you just doing this to make a point?" she asked.
Half turning so that she could see them both, Natasha wondered what had passed between them to result in the animosity she could feel on the air. This was more than just Hill pulling rank and looking out for Natasha's interests, it was almost personal, like she had a reason for wanting Clint out of the room and away from the conversation that was about to take place. She didn't understand it but it made her anxious, she didn't want trouble for him, not when he had done so much to take care of her.
Clint met Hill's gaze steadily, maintaining contact with Natasha's hand. "If Nat wants me here then I'm not going anywhere," he exclaimed. Natasha heard the resolve in his voice, his free hand found the bottom of her back, lending her his strength as the battle of wills raged around her. "So either have me dragged out of here or let's get this over with."
Dr. Carter stepped into the discussion, diffusing the tension with a nod in their direction. "There isn't going to be a physical exam so if Agent Romanoff feels that she would like her partner here, I see no harm in it," she remarked. "Is there anyone else you'd like here Agent?"
Natasha shook her head, relieved to feel some of the tension ebb out of Clint's muscles as the doctor spoke. "Actually I'd like it to be just Clint, myself and the doctor if that's okay Maria? If there are any questions arising from the medical report we can discuss them later."
Left alone with the doctor, she turned to look up at her partner, seeking his eyes and the strength that she always found there. Just the night before he had told her to lean on him and take whatever she needed from him until she was strong enough to stand on her own two feet again, in that moment she wasn't sure that she would ever be able to stand strong without this man at her side, that she would never be stronger than she was when they were together. He was the heat that stopped her shivers, the cold that shocked her back into her own body. He was the strength that supported her and the flexibility that allowed her to be herself. He was the bow and the dagger that covered her back. He was the killer who made her feel safe.
"You sure about this?" he asked her gently, giving her the chance to change her mind before the doctor started to talk and all the things that he knew she hadn't said became reality. She nodded.
"I tried hiding and look where it got me," she replied. Squeezing his fingers and then releasing her grip and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Dr Carter took the desk chair, which Clint moved across the room for her, leaving him to lean against the edge of the desk with his arms braced against the wood.
"How are you feeling Agent?" the doctor asked, pulling a blood pressure cuff and blood drawing equipment from her bag. She offered a friendly smile and kept her gaze entirely on her patient, which was quite an achievement when Clint was nearby dressed in warm ups and a black wife-beater, leaving those spectacular arms and shoulders on show.
"Better I guess," she replied carefully, "stronger."
"And your sleep?" Natasha glanced at Clint, who looked right back at her, silently urging her to be honest with the woman in front of her. Although they had decided to do all they could to get her back in the field, she trusted Carter to help her get better rather than hinder her ability to move on from what had happened.
"Not so good," she admitted. "Being on base sets me on edge, I've been managing a few hours a night but I have been feeling tired."
Clint shook his head at the lie but didn't contradict her. Carter didn't seem to notice, she just nodded and made a note on the chart that she had brought with her. When she looked back up, she offered Natasha a reassuring smile. "We'll talk about your test results first and then I'll take the blood pressure reading and take some more blood, I doubt we'd get an accurate pressure reading otherwise."
Natasha nodded, already aware of her heart pounding and the feel of moisture on her palms. "I'd say you're probably right," she confirmed. Clint offered her a tight smile, moving his arms to fold them across his chest. She could see how tense he was and wanted to ask him to sit by her in case she fell apart when the results were given but she didn't, aware that if the results were something she didn't want to face her reaction might be unpredictable.
"It's good news," the doctor announced with a smile. "I can confirm that you definitely aren't pregnant and that all the STI tests came back negative."
Exhaling a breath that she hadn't even realised she was holding, Natasha turned her attention toward her partner, unable to avoid noticing the way he tensed at that happy little announcement. There was pain in his eyes, a genuine anguish at the thought that she might have been faced with a lasting legacy to the days she had spent lost in a nightmare. Noticing her looking at him, he locked away his feelings and smiled at her. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes and she moved quickly to make him feel better, extending her hand to him and drawing him closer. He came to her without hesitation, taking a seat at her side, his left shoulder pressing into the back of her right. Fingers winding around his, Natasha turned her attention back to the doctor.
"And the rest of it?" she asked.
"Obviously this doesn't rule out the potential of infection from the injuries you sustained but it's a bonus. Have you been taking the meds I gave you?" Carter asked. At Natasha's nod, she continued. "Well then we'll know in a week or so. The results are usually favourable but we'll do some more blood tests to keep an eye on things. As for the scarring..." she ticked a glance in Clint's direction, "it seems to be minimal but I'd still like to run an ultrasound to double check a couple of things with some of the internal injuries."
Natasha felt Clint stiffen against her, his body betraying the reaction he was trying so hard to hide. He might have known a lot more than she had told him but the reality was still a lot for him to handle.
"And the blood tests today?" Clint asked, taking the words right out of Natasha's mouth, gaze assessing the doctor in a way that somehow made Natasha feel safer even though she knew that she was in no imminent danger. The doctor had proved herself to be more than trustworthy. "What are they for?"
The doctor looked him directly in the face for the first time. "There was an anomaly on the blood work, an immunity marker that is slightly more prominent than I would expect. I just want to check that it's a blip and nothing to be concerned about."
After checking that she was okay, Clint left them while the blood was taken, retreating to the small private bathroom that adjoined her room. She suspected that he just needed a moment to process what he had heard and get a grip on his emotions before he rejoined her. When they heard the water running, the doctor looked up from the needle in her hand and gave Natasha a conspiratorial smile. "Your partner seems very protective," she exclaimed conversationally. "It's obvious that he cares for you a great deal, connections like that can be very important at a time like this."
"Of course we care about each other," Natasha replied automatically, "we would lie down and die for one another."
The doctor inclined her head slightly and nodded. "Bonds between partners can grow very strong," she agreed. "Sharp scratch."
As the needle penetrated her vein, Natasha turned her thoughts to what the doctor had said. It was true that she and Clint were closer than many of their colleagues were to their partners, she'd always put that down to the length of their partnership and everything that they had been through together. Could there be more to it on his part, on hers? Surely not. So caught up in her thoughts was she that she didn't notice that she was listing to one side, her head swimming, until a pair of strong arms caught her from behind. She'd never fainted in her life, unless you counted the time that she'd been given electroshock under the Red Room. She didn't count that instance.
"Has she eaten this morning?" the doctor asked. The sensation of the needle being withdrawn, brought Natasha round a little to see the woman's unflappable expression before her. She breathed in the smell that was uniquely her partner, a combination of Davidoff aftershave, wild forest and clean sweat, and tried to push herself upright, only to fall back against him.
"She wouldn't eat until she'd had the test results," Clint replied. "I'll make sure that she gets something once this is over."
"I'd recommend something sugary and then perhaps a nap," the doctor replied, addressing Clint. "I'll leave her in your capable hands Agent Barton and don't worry about Agent Hill, Natasha's comfort was more important than whatever issue she had with you, I'll smooth it over."