Word had spread quickly that she was the one who had sold out Detective Miles to IAB; the seasoned detective had made sure of that. It was obvious by the cold way her colleagues were treating her that they didn't agree with what she had done.
Two days after Detective Miles had been arrested she had found her locker broken into and her belongings thrown carelessly over the changing room floor with rips and splotches of red paint all over them. Someone had even taken the time to scrawl 'rat' on the front of her locker and she winced as she ran her hand over the now-dry paint.
Her fellow officers blanked her in the corridors and her partner had requested a transfer, citing that he was unable to work with her anymore. She knew the truth though, no one trusted her now, she was nothing more than a grass that had helped the 'rat squad' to take another officer down.
Much in the same way as there was honour among thieves; there was also an honour between officers, even those that had been proven to be dirty. It was seen as unsavoury and a dishonour to the badge to shop another cop and that was exactly what she had done.
IAB had promised they would do their best to keep her name out of the investigation but their words rang hollow as she realised that she was becoming increasingly isolated from her colleagues as they did everything in their power to avoid her. Her captain had even taken the precaution of relieving her from active duty, knowing full well that her fellow officers would ignore any requests for backup in the field that she might have made.
So she was stuck on desk duty in a room full of people who hated her. It ate at her that she was being portrayed as the villain in all of this, all she had done was stand up for what she thought was right. Surely people should hate Miles and not her?
She knew she wouldn't be able to handle the constantly uncomfortable atmosphere in the department when another uniformed officer walked past her desk and deliberately knocked her cup of coffee over, ruining the report that she had been working on for the last hour as well as staining her pants.
The officer had not even apologised for what he had done as he walked away with a smug grin on his face, the rest of the cops in the room stood by, laughing and sniggering at her. She knew that she would not be able to face the barrage of negativity much longer and did the only thing she could think of by pulling herself quickly from her chair and darting to the ladies toilets.
She found a large envelope on her desk as she returned twenty minutes later, after sobbing uncontrollably in the bathroom, the release of the pent-up tension doing nothing to brighten the low mood she felt.
She almost didn't want to open it, fearing that it would be another nasty surprise from one of her colleagues, a horrible message to warn her to watch her back or something similar. Yet curiosity got the better of her, her natural cop instincts made her want to know what was in the manila envelope, overriding any sense of self-preservation she felt.
She pulled out the first sheet, a hand-written note in a script that she didn't recognise.
Take the offer.
That was it, just a scrawled message with little in the way of preamble or explanation. Placing the sheet to one side she looked in the envelope once more and found several pieces of paper held together by a metal clip.
Her eyes widened as she read the first page and it soon became obvious what it was, a transfer request from her current department to IAB, an offer had been set out whereby she would gain a promotion to detective upon completion of the required tests and assessments and also a considerable pay rise.
It was clear that she was being bought off but what choice did she have?
It didn't matter where she transferred to, news of her involvement with IAB would follow her everywhere she went like a bad smell, and no matter how she tried to rid herself of it, it would be a stain that she would never be able to remove.
The paperwork had been typed up and completed by Internal Affairs at their end; all that it required was a signature on her part and then placing on her commanding officer's desk. She sat staring at it for a number of minutes before resigning herself to the fact that her career as a regular cop was now over and that the only way she would be able to remain in the job she loved was to become something her fellow officers would hate.
Present day – Earlier in the day. Miami:
"What happened to you, Hil?" he asked again, his tone softer.
"Nothing happened," she replied, trying to stop her voice from breaking.
"You used to be a good cop, why work for the rat squad?"
"You have no right to judge me, Ryan."
"Then why are you trying to judge my colleagues?"
She huffed at him.
"I'm just trying to do my job," she said defensively.
"And so were they," he countered.
"I like you, Ryan, heed my warning and stay as far away from this investigation as possible. I won't be able to protect you if you don't."
"No, I'm sticking by them. We're a team, that's what we do. Maybe you could learn a thing or two about loyalty."
She flinched at his abrasive tone, knowing that he had little idea what she had been through and how much she hated the type of cop she'd become. Picking up her attaché case, she left the room without looking back.
Present day. Miami:
He watched disinterestedly as he was dealt another hand, not really caring that he had lost well over $500 in the last few hours. He knew that if he kept playing for long enough his winning streak would return and with winning came a sense that everything would be alright with the world.
Watching Horatio freeze in front of a suspect was hard enough to deal with; he really didn't need the added stress of discovering that his old academy friend had turned into an agent for Internal Affairs. He had cared about Hillary deeply, having been close with her all through their time in training. She had shown a number of the men up with her natural instincts as a police officer and he had always admired her balls-to-the-wall attitude.
He felt guilty at losing contact with her, perhaps if he had made more of an effort to find out what was happening in her life he might have been able to prevent her from joining the department that every cop despised. IAB were the lowest of the low, seeking scapegoats and making issues when there usually weren't any, making good officers pay with their careers for the slightest of infractions.
What happened that was so terrible in Hillary's life that she had sunk so low and joined the rat squad?
After the traumatic day he'd had he didn't really want to think about it. He wanted to gamble and drink, and forget that the day had ever happened.
She didn't miss the yawn that escaped from Horatio's mouth as he sat on the couch fussing over Moses. The cat, for his part, seemed to be lapping up the care and attention his auburn-haired owner was lavishing on him as he purred contentedly.
"I think it's time for bed you two," she said quietly as she entered the room, finding her two favourite males in one place.
"I think Calleigh is right, Moses."
That cat meowed and cocked his head to one side before looking at his injured paw, trying to communicate his need for assistance.
"I'm sure you can make it up the stairs on your own, boy," Horatio chided gently as Moses looked at him intently.
"I'll carry you just this once, don't make a habit of this," Horatio smiled as the cat rubbed its face against his owner's clean-shaven cheek in appreciation.
It amazed her that Horatio didn't realise the calming effect on the feline creature or the calming effect he had on most people. It was such a rare power to possess, the ability to instantly put people at ease was not something that came easily to most people yet seemed natural to the man she loved.
His empathy for those in pain or need was one of the things she admired most about him but it was his current inability or refusal to acknowledge his own pain and need that infuriated her the most about him. Years of experience had told her what an independent and strong man he was, yet there were times that his unwillingness to accept help from the people around him bordered on downright arrogance.
Flashback. Miami, 8 weeks ago:
The smile on Eric's face faltered as he saw the tense expression on Calleigh's.
"Everything ok?" he asked as he reached out a hand to her, placing it on her upper arm as he stood in the doorway of her home.
"Nothing that a few hours away from Horatio wouldn't fix," she replied honestly.
"That bad?"
She nodded her head curtly as she stood aside and beckoned her colleague to enter.
"I thought he'd be happy now he's away from Alexx's tender mercies," he mused as he followed her into the kitchen.
"Well, he's not. He's a pig-headed, stubborn pain in the ass!"
It wasn't every day that one heard Calleigh Duquesne raise her voice, Eric had always admired her ability to keep cool under pressure and give the impression that nothing much phased her. It was clear to see that living with such a self-sufficient man such as Horatio was driving her to her limits, the main problem being that his brother in law was being forced to rely on the people around him to take care of things that he had always taken for granted.
He could certainly sympathise with Horatio's situation, it had taken months for him to recover from his own head injury, an injury that had almost put paid to his career. Throughout his convalescence he knew that there was one thing he could rely on at all times, Horatio's strength. The man had taken care of him on a daily basis until he was well enough to look after himself and had never asked for anything in return.
Horatio was a giver, taking from others was not in his nature and the concept of accepting help was alien to him. Not only did he have to deal with the physical and emotional ramifications of his ordeal, he had to accept a new way of thinking and change a facet of his personality that was fundamental to him.
He didn't envy Horatio and the challenge he would face in dealing with such a task, knowing that such an uphill battle would break most men. The stubborn Lieutenant had had his share of ups and downs since he'd woken in hospital, there had been times when he had tried to shut down completely, times when he raged against his helplessness and the harrowing times when the thought of facing such a test of his mental and physical fortitude became too much as he sobbed pitifully before berating himself once more for showing weakness in front of the people he cared about.
"You mind if I go and speak with him?"
Calleigh gave him a humourless laugh as she placed her hands on her hips.
"Be my guest, he's not exactly been in high spirits since he woke up."
He knocked loudly on the bedroom door before entering and gave his brother in law a warm smile.
"How you doing, H?"
The older man sighed dramatically as he raised his uninjured hand to his face, rubbing roughly at it.
"Shouldn't you be at the lab?"
"I've got court at 11.00, thought I'd pop by and see how you were settling in."
"You shouldn't have bothered," Horatio replied quietly as he looked away.
He refused to be deterred by Horatio's low mood.
"Do you know how lucky you are right now? Most people would kill to be in a beautiful woman's bed…."
The joke fell flat as Horatio pinned him with his best attempt at a glare.
"Believe me, this is not how I imagined ending up in Calleigh's bed."
"But you are, so why don't you make the most of it. It's not like we've all got a stunningly gorgeous woman tending to our every need, why don't you just sit back and enjoy it?"
"Because she shouldn't have to."
"But she wants to," he countered.
"Eric…"
"No, don't 'Eric' me. Calleigh's a special woman and she loves you, you should be grabbing the opportunity to be with her with both hands, not pushing her away."
"This isn't the way I imagined it, brother," he muttered as he gave Eric a wry smile.
"Since when has life ever happened the way we want it to? It doesn't matter how it happens, when you get a chance you've got to take it. You never know when it'll be too late."
At least he'd succeeded in maintaining eye contact with his stubborn superior as he pushed on.
"She's downstairs right now, hurting because you won't let her in. God knows if you were any other man she'd rip your balls off and wear them as earrings after the way you've treated her.
The thought of being emasculated further made Horatio wince visibly.
"She thinks you're stubborn, proud, egotistical, arrogant…."
Horatio held his good hand up in defeat.
"Okay, Eric. I get the picture."
"Do you? Do you realise what a special thing it is to have someone that loves you? We're not all as lucky as you are."
He watched as Horatio's head dropped, letting out the breath he was holding when the older man cocked his head up at him.
"Since when did you become so wise?"
He matched the sincere smile with one of his own.
"I had a good teacher."