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Ashley's POV

I haven't seen Spencer in three weeks. I am silently going crazy. I don't know if its because I was so used to being with her or my lack of … Sex? I just knew I missed her touch, her tone, and her face most of all. I wanted to look into her ocean deep blue eyes but I knew if I did I would melt. She meant so much to me that it drove me insane. It took me how long to fall for this girl? Barely a month yet every bone in my body craved her. I talked to Aiden regularly. He seems more frustrated every day at how distant Spencer's been but happy she is at the house more. Ever since he was on house arrest he hasn't been able to get out.

The show was moving together perfectly and the premiere was tonight. I was both excited to see Spencer and extremely nervous. I'd seen her on set but would try my hardest not to talk to her it was a work place but it was also the only place I could see her so passionate besides when I'm inside of her. I was currently laying in my bed looking at pictures of Spencer on the internet. I was curled in a ball missing her so much. I would forget the pictures of her and Aiden together and try not to slowly gag myself to sleep.

*ding dong*

"Ash!" Kyla screamed from the other room.

"What?!" I asked still tracing over Spencer's face.

"You have a vistor!" She yelled.

"Tell them to go away! I'm mourning here!" I grunted not wanting to leave my bed. It was the last place I saw Spencer before she left to take Aiden home. We made love all night and all morning. I wanted to be with her as long as I could and I only had a night.

"Ash what are you mourning over?" A soft voice asked from my door. I froze as I felt my jaw open and fall to my bed.

"You.. Why are you here?" I asked looking at the beautiful blonde looking over at me curiously. Her hair was up in a messy bun. She had a plain white tight t-shirt on pressing tightly against her breasts and wrapping her toned stomach and back. She had miss me jeans on that made her butt even more noticeable. I closed my mouth slowly carefully not to droll to the point I would need a slippery when wet sign to put on my floor.

Spencer smiled and walked over to the side of my bed and cupped my face in her hands. I pulled at an old oversized shirt I was wearing and looking up at her.

"I miss you." She said her blue eyes watering up "Ash. I miss you soo much it hurts. It's like one moment I'll be thinking about you thinking I'm going to see you then I realize I can't but I want too. I feel like you are a piece of me and I know it sounds crazy but I want you in my life in every way…"

I cut Spencer off and attacked her mouth with mine missing her familiar feelings against me. It was something I could live with only Spencer I would and dive myself into her with all I had. I just wanted her to stop crying and love me.

"Ash... I wasn't done." She said pushing off of me sniffling. I could feel her seriousness in her tone so I just looked up at her as deep as I could.

"Ash I want this… but I can't break Aiden's heart. He's my best friend and he loves me. I know you probably feel just the same… I just don't know what is right and what is wrong my heart is with you but my head is telling me not to risk getting hurt with you. I'd go by the studio and watch as you wouldn't look at me and it crushed me slowly. I could feel my whole body just ripping into pieces. I wanted to bury myself in a hole and never breathe again. Do you know what that feels like? To just be crushed not being yours Ashley you make me feel alive, smart, beautiful, and perfect. I want to be perfect for you but what I'm doing to both you and Aiden isn't right. I have to end things with him… I just don't know how." Spencer said looking down at her hands.

I took Spencer's hands in mine and raised her chin up.

"I never want you to be without me. I know that breaking Aiden's heart is dangerous and new territory but I think he will be more grateful to find someone who feels the way about him the way I feel about you." I said looking into her blue eyes. The whiteness was gone and it was red. I could tell she had been crying off and on.

"I'm going to do it tonight after the premiere and then move out. I will break off the engagement but tell him I need time to think before I make a sacrifice. I'll move my stuff to Chelsea's and we can see where we are." Spencer said hoping I'd agree.

"No." I said making Spencer turn her head confused.

"I want you here tonight in my bed. I never want to go to sleep alone or wake up without you again Spencer." I said looking at her. Spencer smiled deeply at me and I could see her demeanor change as I pulled her on top of me wrapping my legs around her tight jeans.

"Hey Ash.. Whoa!" I heard Kyla say tumbling out of my room.

"What Kyla?!" Spencer and I both barked making all of us laugh.

"Well Madison is downstairs with Chelsea they have this thing they have to ask Spencer." Kyla said smiling at our position.

"You guys doing some reunion yoga?" She teased making me toss a pillow at her hitting her face. Kyla pouted and slid down the hallway with Spencer and I conjoined by our digits. The luscious Latina had a look or horror on her face as we appeared.

"You guys weren't.." Her voice trailed off when I gave her the death glare.

"What's going on guys?" Spencer smiled at Chelsea

"The bridesmaid dresses…" Her voice was unsure.

"Oh …." Spencer said awkwardly looking at a box open on my counter. I strolled over and looked at the overpriced dresses.

"I'm going to have to get these returned." Spencer said giggling at Madison looking into the box next to me.

"Returned?" Chelsea asked.

"I'm breaking my engagement with Mr. Aiden Dennison." Spencer said looking at me again trying to read my mind. I don't know if she was asking permission to tell them but I smiled letting her know it didn't bug me.

"Congrats!" Kyla smiled slapping Spencer on her butt making her jump. I laughed at her mini heart attack and went to go brew some late afternoon coffee.

"So are we all invited to the big show tonight?" Kyla asked beaming at Ashley.

"I don't know depends on if super-star here put you on her list." Spencer teased wrapping her arms from behind me kissing my shoulder.

"You guys are too cute." I heard Chelsea say.

"Ew." Maddy teased.

"What do you mean depends?" Kyla tested.

"Yes Kyla you're on the list. Maddy go suck Glen's balls and Chels… Thank you." I said turning to look at all of them. They stopped whining long enough for us to order a pizza. I normally don't eat night's before shows because I don't want to get nervous and up chuck.. normal habit. I also felt starved from being so food deprived. I was fantasing about how good Chinnese sounded when my thoughts were interuted by my grumbling stomach.

Everyone turned towards me.

"Hungry much chica?" Maddison asked looking at me.

"Yeah, Ash that sounded like you were possessed by a lion." Spencer giggled into my ear.

"She hasn't eaten anything since Spencer left. She refused to eat my delicious meatloaf.

Everyone looked at me.

"Thanks Kyla." I said under my breath to be returned with a beaming smile from Kyla.

"Anytime."

"Baby are you telling me you didn't eat because of me?" Spencer said turning me in her arms. I snuggled into her and shook my head no. She grabbed my face with her hand and lifted it up.

"Ash." She spoke softly to me as if we were the only one's here.

"I couldn't stomach the thought of food?" I asked her making her smile.

"Don't do it again." She said sternly and kissed my forehead.

She turned to brew coffee but I pulled her back to me.

"No you don't get to leave." I said Spencer rolled her eyes at my childish behavior.

"Ash. We have a show to get to." Spencer kissed my check.

"Oh.. Do I have to?" I said trying to hid behind the counter.

"Yes Ashley it's your job." Spencer turned her head. Swoon.

"Okay, I'll go if you persuade me." I said wiggling my eye brows.

"It's not the only thing I'll do." Spencer winked making Kyla, Chelsea, and Madison blush.

"Oh that note I better go change." Kyla said looking at Madison.

"Are you guys suddenly dating or something Kyla? She doesn't have to go with you if she doesn't want to." I said prying. Madison looked down and Kyla looked away. Spencer turned her head to give me a glare.

"Well this isn't my scene… lezbehonest" Chelsea giggled at her pun and walked to the door making all of us laugh as she left.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to pry." Yes I was.

"It's cool." Kyla said walking towards her room with Madison.

"That's not awkward." I said looking at Spencer.

"And really uncomfortable lesbian cracks at my brothers girlfriend remember!" Spencer said covering her hears.

"Aw babe the way you say lesbian is so cute." I said kissing Spencer's nose.

"I'll help you pick out something to wear." Spencer said pulling me towards my room again.

"I'd rather you undress me than dress me." I said being grabbed towards my closet.

I saw Spencer blush passing my mirror. She twirled in my giant walk in closet. I smiled smelling the fresh smell of clothes. Hell yes.

"What are you going for?" She asked roaming over my shoes.

"Sex goddess." I smiled wickedly.

"You don't have to go for anything on that one." Spencer said silently hoping I wouldn't catch it.

"I can help you with some of those lonely tendencies you've needed to be relieved." I said winking at her. Spencer blushed again. I giggled inwardly.

"How about this?!" Spencer pulled out a front long black tight dress that caved in on the hips and cupped my breasts up and showed off my legs.

"Okay. Shoes." I said walking towards my shoe shelf.

Spencer grabbed blood red shoes smiling widely.

"This is over the top at all?" I asked hanging up the dress on the bar and holding the shoe out.

"You're a freaking star! It has to be duh!" Spencer said throwing her arms up.

I laughed.

"What? One of thee, and I mean thee sexiest stars on television doesn't dress up to show off what she got then she isn't normal." Spencer said trying to keep a smile off her face.

" We try to please the fans don't we."I said talking in a british accent.

"We do. If it's what the fans want we give it to them." Spencer said touching my dress and butchering (no pun intended) an accent.

"Come shower with me." I smiled walking out of my closet pulling Spencer's hands.

"That's a bad idea.." Spencer said trying not to watch me strip slowly infront of her.

"What do you mean?.." I said seductively luring Spencer into my bathroom.

"I wont want to leave.." She said looking me down and up.

"What's so bad about that?" I asked smiling at her conflicting mind.

"We have jobs Ash!" Spencer said snapping her eyes towards mine. I frowned and pulled my clothes off turning on the water.

Spencer slapped her hands over her eyes.

"Goodbye Ashley!" She shouted as if I was in another room. I walked towards her and pulled her into an embrace before kissing her deeply goodbye.

"Never good bye, it's always until we met again." I whispered in her ear and turned back to the shower to notice she was already gone. A cloud of sadness washed over me. She was gone. Again.