MINOR EDIT of about 100 words during the conversation Kel has with the women. It was brought to my attention that Kel had been a bit OOC, being so emotional. I couldn't bear to remove the dialogue, though, so I rephrased a few lines of Kel's and the Queen's (and I want to remind you all that some of the conversation occurs in a form of Yamani only Kel and Yuki can understand, and Yuki is one of Kel's oldest friends). Also, the question has been raised whether Kel would actually reveal so much to the King and Queen (in Part B), so an edit is coming for that scene. Like the conversation in Part A, the one in Part B can't be removed, just altered to be more plausible and more canon.
A/N: Just a short note before you read, I don't want to keep you waiting. It took me an incredibly long time to write this chapter; I struggled with this particular chapter because there were several important scenes I wanted to include, all before the wedding. The first scene of chapter four ended up being 5,881 words, so I knew I had to split it into two parts.
What you're about to read is all one continuous scene that really lasts only a few hours; the rest of the chapter is already written and will be uploaded as my promised chapter five update on November 1, 2013. The real chapter five will be posted on the 15th (originally the scheduled day for chapter six) because the super long chapter four completely upset the balance. So, every subsequent chapter is being pushed back two weeks to compensate for the 2 back-to-back updates of the two halves of chapter four.
On the final note, I have yet to find a new beta (the old one fell off the face of the earth BEFORE I previously stopped uploading two years ago) so please bear with me as I'm my own editor from here on out.
So, without further ado, I hope you thoroughly enjoy, and please take the time to read the A/N at the end - it contains important information.
Rdr-Wrtr
Chapter 4: Scrutiny Part A: shin no hansha
Dom had finished his shift and immediately walked to the rooms shared by his Knight Commander and said Commander's future wife. Dom knew Kel was supposed to still be over there, but he tried to convince himself that he had important Own business to attend to – he was lying and failing miserably at it.
Thoughts of Kel had filled his head for the better part of his watch. The worse part was the five minutes he'd spent being interrogated by the King's Champion, who just so happened to be married to a thief-turned-royal-spy, so her information-gathering skills were better than the average knight's.
Alanna's cranky questioning aside, the whole of Dom's watch would have been infinitely better had he not been pining for that one unattainable woman. Dom wasn't quite sure why, but the more time he spent around Kel, the more he felt she would never love him the way he loved her. Kel was so noble, so brave, kind, and caring.
Sure, Dom had joined the Own to help people of his country and strengthen his family's ties to the Crown through service, but he hadn't really thought of anything outside his own little bubble. Being around Kel for so long had truly opened his eyes; Dom now saw the world in a clearer sense. He saw valor and grace in the most unbelievable places. If there was any one thing in Dom's entire life of which he could justifiably be proud, it was having known someone like Kel. No, not knowing someone like she, but she herself.
Leaving his cumbersome thoughts for another moment's consideration, Domitan knocked once upon Lord Raoul's door with mild force. He waited for what seemed to be hours but was really only a few short minutes before knocking again, with more vigor and less patience. Dom rinsed and repeated once more, almost beating the shape of his closed fist into the door.
Just as the sergeant prepared to knock a fourth time, the surprise of an unfamiliar voice screaming at him affected him long enough for the young woman to whom the voice belonged to continue demanding in a brusque, businesslike tone just who exactly he thought he was; a woman he could not recall having ever previously met wrenched the door open and immediately covered her mouth and groaned in shocked mortification upon sighting his trademark dark hair, blue eyes, and sergeant's insignia.
Her apologies bubbled forth long enough for Dom to figure out just who this city woman must be. "It's alright. Lalasa, isn't it?" he asked Kel's former servant gently with a reassuring smile.
She just managed to nod minutely.
Each of their rudeness aside, Dom supposed he should at least give a plausible reason for his strident intrusion. "I knew milord was dining here and wasn't in the mood for the noise of the mess. Mind if I join you?"
He thought he saw a knowing smirk flicker across her visage in one quick moment but instantly dismissed it as imagination spurred on by his recent nerves. Lalasa opened the door wider and admitted the famed noble.
The young woman – Dom figured she was somewhere between Kel and himself in age – led him farther into the rooms until finally, they were met with the sight of Numair, Raoul, and Dom's cousin Neal all shoveling forkful after forkful of food into their mouths. The women were eating just as quickly, but in a more… well, ladylike fashion.
Dom's eyes went straight to Kel as if on instinct. He didn't even have to scan the room; Dom automatically knew exactly where she was. He soon realized he was staring and turned his gaze to Raoul.
Clearing his throat, Dom began, "Milord, I heard there was food fit for the King himself in here. Perhaps that was once true, but you have clearly disposed of the nourishment in the most efficient way you know how."
"Insolent cur. There's more food left here. I'm sure you can eat those last few bites of rice and be happy. You've survived on far less during strenuous times, so stop your whiny complaints." Knight Commander Lord Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak of the King's Own retorted.
Thunder boomed with his last word, at first putting everyone at unease. But, after a few moments, they all began to laugh at the absurdity of it, and the almost perfect timing of it. Raoul for his part simply huffed at the others' laughter.
"I hope you do not expect me to stand for what short time it will take to eat the miniscule meal you have provided; I would much rather have somewhere to sit." Dom drawled much like his cousin.
Neal responded in a similar manner, "There's room on Kel's left; I'm sure she won't mind the company." The green-eyed noble smirked mischievously.
Kel and Dom both began to blush lightly at the same exact moment, not daring to look the other (or Neal, for that matter) in the eye – neither quite enjoyed the idea of their dinner companions taking Neal's words too seriously, but both reflected that it would be nice it the other knew how each felt. It took awhile, but Dom recovered and sat quietly and then started to serve himself. The rain all had been expecting since early morning that Monday continued to lash against the walls of the lodgings, subduing everyone into a calm silence.
Before sitting with the rest, Lalasa stoked the fire. She returned to Yuki's side and cleared her throat. The others all glanced up at her and, realizing she was likely to address a topic most present would wish to avoid, hurriedly lowered their heads and continued eating.
"You're not getting out of your fittings," Lalasa began, "so you lot can stop your eating right this instant and stand still long enough for me to at least take all your most recent measurements." Everyone shuddered involuntarily as she finished.
Lalasa waited a few moments, but not a one of them seemed inclined to move. She sighed quietly to herself before making a quick decision. "All right, since no one wants to volunteer…" she let her voice trail off.
All the others' faces paled, but before any of them could speak, Lalasa hastened to continue, "I suppose we can go in pairs. While I'm dealing with one set, the rest of you can lounge around or contribute to the as of yet unfinished plans. I think I'll start with the bride and groom, just so I can get you two safely out of the way. Since you're the most important couple, I'll see to you two separately; bride first, please." The former maid clapped her hands a few brisk times, which got everyone moving.
Buri was first since the bride is arguably the most important figure at any wedding. The petite K'miri fighter reluctantly stood upon the stool provided with her arms held out stiffly to either side, the envy of scarecrows everywhere.
Lalasa chuckled darkly before stating, "Keep it up; just keep it up. This can be a pleasant experience, or we can stay here all night, working only on your gown." She finished with a devilish grin.
Buri paled before straightening her form and relaxing her shoulders a tiny bit.
Lalasa spent the better part of an hour fitting Buri and restyling the gown. No one knew how she had managed to already finish the gown – and Raoul's tunic and hosiery – since her lunch planning session.
As Lalasa finished torturing Buri and Raoul, the others upheld light, easy conversation. Daine, Yuki, Alanna, and Kel discussed the comparative advantages of different bows. Neal, Dom, and Numair badgered Raoul about his upcoming nuptials, demanding to know the couple's plans for the foreseeable future.
Daine was in the process of recounting her and Numair's time in the Divine Realms for the sake of Kel and Yuki when, yet again, the party planners were interrupted by a knock.
Lalasa didn't trust herself to answer the door a second time that evening, so she kept her head down, focusing on Buri's hem. Kel figured she would spare the older woman and rose to permit the newest addition to the group.
Kel was met with a sight akin to the one Lalasa had earlier faced. Dark hair and deep cerulean eyes greeted her; the trademarks of none other than King Jonathan IV himself. Beside His Majesty, shrouded in a worn cloak and sporting workers' clothing, stood his Queen, Thayet the Peerless.
Kel was unsure how to properly greet the new, royal guests, considering the queen was going to so much trouble to remain unidentified. Also, though Kel had developed a mutually respectful relationship with the Queen, she had never really spoken with the King aside from brief encounters (usually involving Raoul and some military problem or other).
Just as Kel was bracing herself to address the royal patronages, King Jonathan spoke, "Lady Knight, it's good to see you well. If we may be permitted into the room?" he asked gently.
At first quite shocked, it dawned on Kel that the monarchs might now be wary of her after her Scanran adventure. She had managed to defy their indirect orders in a manner illegal, yet unpunishable. Kel's traitorous, bold actions established her as political player, something that didn't please her any due to the complications it incurred.
Mutely, Kel stepped aside to let the King and Queen into the rooms. She followed Their Majesties back towards the others, contemplating her position with them the whole while.
"Jon! Thayet! What are you doing here?" Raoul exclaimed when he caught sight of the pair.
Thayet pulled a mischievous grin, "Tell me you did not honestly believe we'd miss your wedding. Two of our oldest friends have finally opened their eyes; war or not, of course we came!"
Jonathan and Raoul shared a smirk before the former stage whispered, "She's just reveling in the fact she'll see so many warriors in dresses."
The Queen frowned at her coruler, "There's nothing wrong with dresses. I see the impracticality of wearing one into battle, or even throughout daily life, since ours are so hectic; but donning a dress for special occasions and during the slow periods is perfectly sensible."
"I agree," Kel stated simply, much to eveyrone's surprise.
Neal couldn't keep silent, "But Kel, you hate dresses!"
"Now where would you get that idea?" Kel waxed exasperated. "Do you not remember our page years? I didn't just wear gowns to dinner to remind you boys of my femininity, I wore them because I actually like dresses." She looked down to her toes for a moment, gathering her Yamani calm to deliver her next words.
Ever so quietly, Kel uttered, "I enjoy being female—I said as much to my Lord Wyldon when last we jousted. I am not ashamed of my gender, and every girl likes to wear pretty things when she can," Kel finished breathlessly, not daring to meet any of the others' eyes as she returned to her seat.
The distinct non-sound of silence surrounded her. She was both mad and shocked, but not really surprised. Kel knew the Lioness, Buri, and Daine didn't particularly care for women's formal wear – that was putting it mildly, according to several disputes Raoul had recounted for her – but being a female warrior like them didn't mean she had to share their distastes.
Kel was annoyingly aware that her squire years and almost year of knighthood hadn't permitted her to show her feminine side – except for that picnic with Dom. And wasn't he rudely incredulous? A small, cruel voice inside her asked. But Kel also knew she had never expressed a dislike for ornamented, flowing attire.
Like any sane person, Kel detested fittings – who likes to be stuck with pins for hours on end? – however, the whole affair of dressing up and putting more than a few minutes' effort into her appearance delighted her. Kel had yet to openly admit just how thrilled she was to be a bridesmaid and how slightly dismayed she'd been to learn Roald and Shinko had gotten married without her, happy as she was for the royal couple.
It had only been a minute or two that the others alternatively sat or stood soundlessly regarding her. The most terrible part for Kel was imagining what the King and Queen thought of the whole situation. Fortunately, Lalasa broke the silence and beckoned to Raoul, "Your turn, milord."
The quiet effectively shattered, the others slowly resumed their conversations from before the monarchs' entrance. Thayet and Buri joined Kel and the other women, while Jonathan moved to sit with the men, sans Raoul.
Daine finished her tale of the Divine Realms and turned to Thayet, askance, "Were you astonished when we appeared on Diamondflame's back with another dragon, a god, and Stormwings in tow?"
The Queen smiled at the younger woman, "I would like to say no, for I've learned to never be surprised when it comes to you and Numair," Daine glared at her; Thayet continued, "but only a fool would claim nonchalance at the sight of such magnificent and terrifying creatures. Your arrival was timely and much appreciated, but not likely to be forgotten."
Thayet peered thoughtfully at Kel, who had yet to raise her face to the others. "I never knew that about you, Kel. I assumed, however wrongly, that working towards your knighthood would have made you greatly prefer men's attire."
Kel still didn't look up as she responded levelly, "Breeches and shirts are more comfortable, I'll concede, but dresses do more for a women's self-image." It was so strange for her, to be so openly discussing matters she hadn't dared bring up around the men over the years.
"I admire you, Keladry. It must have been unfathomably trying to spend the better part of eight years with mainly males. I suppose you never discussed such things with them?" Thayet queried.
"How could I?" Kel lifted her head at last. "How was I to truly be myself around hundreds of men to whom I had to prove I was just like any boy? Everyone expected me to shrivel up and act like a normal squeamish girl; they all assumed I'd 'learn my lesson' and leave.
"In order to succeed, I had to show them I wasn't a girl. I had to hide a part of myself from them, because if I were to open up, if I were to admit that I wanted to be a normal girl, they would have eaten me alive."
Kel turned away from the other women to glare out the window. "I was so busy working so hard to become a warrior worthy of my family and of my realm that I didn't have time to become the woman I want to be.
"I don't know what's come over me," she sighed wearily. "I don't understand why I'm sharing all of this with you. I—I didn't mean to dump this on you, and I don't want to lose face by speaking of such highly personal matters."
Thayet quickly interjected, "There is the problem, Kel. Yukimi and Shinko have learned something in four short years that you haven't realized in almost nine years."
Kel whipped her head around from the window to glance inquisitively at the Queen. "What do you mean?"
"Kel. Keladry, you, more so than my daughter-in-law and Lady Yuki, are not Yamani. Not anymore; not since you returned to Tortall. Call it as barbaric as you want, but as an Easterner you do not have to hide your emotions. It's all right to let your face show how you feel. And opening up to us is not as improper as you may think - Kel, I've known you on a personal level since you became a squire, we used to spar together after all. And you've known Yuki and Daine both for years longer than that. Buri, too, has known you for more than four years. Though you've only gotten close to Alanna since earning your shield, you know she watched you throughout your training, she knows more of you than you think."
"But I do," Kel uttered incredulously. "I smile, and laugh, and frown, and show how I feel all the time."
Daine frowned and shook her head, "Not all the time, Kel. I've noticed you keep the important stuff well-shuttered. You're always so stoic, like my Lord Wyldon."
"Thank you," Kel responded, touched.
"That was not a compliment, Kel. I don't like how cold and reserved Lord Wyldon is. Nor do I think such behavior suits you."
When Kel made to retort, Buri placed a dark palm on the younger woman's arm. Kel turned to her with a question in her eyes. "Kel, you're not listening to us. Perhaps all your Yamani training gave you the strength of character and the discipline necessary to succeed and excel, but I think it also hindered you.
"When was the last time you opened yourself to someone and I mean truly lowered all your barriers and just told a person exactly what's on your mind and let them see the real you? Take a moment to think about it, rushing into something isn't your style," Buri added when Kel immediately opened her mouth to respond.
Kel listened and took the time to think as far back as she was capable of remembering. A few years before, she'd divulged her deep-seated guilt to Buri in the midst of the Riders' mess hall. Farther back in time, Kel had told her parents just what she thought about Lord Wyldon's stipulation that Kel be placed on probation during her first year as a page, pending his sole review at the end of the term.
No other occasions came readily to mind as she tried to recall as much as possible. Kel was startled to realize that she hadn't been forthcoming with anyone in years. She'd been fighting a solitary battle for the past eight years.
Alanna watched as the revelation dawned in Keladry's eyes. The violet-eyed knight smirked to herself before saying, "Kel, please look at me." The younger knight complied and the Lioness continued, "Even I allowed myself to confide my true identity and notions to a few friends. Jon, George, and George's mother helped me get through my knight training by lending a listening ear anytime it all got to be too much for me.
"Everyone needs a support group. A network of people – however small – upon who they can always rely. You don't have to go at it alone Kel. We are all here for you."
Kel was unsure how to respond. The Queen, Daine, Buri and Alanna had all given her much to ponder. She spent a few minutes pushing the last few bites of rice around her bowl with her metal fork. Kel supposed Yuki had brought such metalware with her to the warfront to add the female touch the military forts clearly lacked.
After several minutes of simply staring at the remains of her meal, Kel looked up and regarded Yuki directly in the eyes. Kel didn't speak, didn't move; she merely gazed at her Yamani friend with the perfect composure, no trace of emotion, nothing at all breaking through her Yamani Mask.
Yuki could see through Kel's eyes, though. She could understand what lie just beneath the surface. Choosing to speak in the highest form of the Yamani language – a case so proper and rare as to be considered archaic, which insured only those most skilled with the foreign tongue could either speak or understand it – Yuki said to Kel, "Why now, Keladry? You've managed to keep silent on the matter for years. What was the catalyst?"
The others all frowned in confusion—the King and the other men included, for they had directed their attention to the women's conversation by that point—but Kel had spent enough time in the Yamani Islands, and enough time at the emperor's court in a position of favor to have the linguistic capacity to comprehend the elevated style. "I don't know what you mean."
"Why is this so important now, today? Why did you not divulge this information yesterday or any time before this?" the Yamani noble refused to back down on the subject.
Kel couldn't keep herself from shouting in response, "Because yesterday I didn't know for certain that my friends would never consider courting me." Her volume lowered as she continued, "I didn't realize they were incapable of seeing me as a woman! They were all so shocked at the thought of me being alone with a male, and none of the King's Own have ever seen me in a dress. Not until my picnic with Dom earlier.
"I saw some of them in the stables, and some on the wall with guard duty, and then Dom came out to meet me and… they were all so surprised to view me in a lady's attire! That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. A few years ago I bought some perfume in Port Caynn, and the Own laughed at me—my friends all laughed at me for being so utterly feminine.
"And every day that I wore a dress to dinner during my page years, the other pages scoffed at me and it's all just finally starting to get to me."
Yuki selected her words carefully, "How do you know they do not see you as the woman you are? How do you know they would never court you, Kel?"
"At breakfast, Lerant and the men of Dom's squad weren't just stunned to hear I might have been alone with him. As I left the mess hall, I heard them comment off-hand that they couldn't believe Dom found my dress enticing." Kel's voice broke as she said the next part, "Both Corporal Wolset and Dom's newest Corporal added that seeing me in a dress would be like seeing Dom or my Lord Raoul in a dress, it wouldn't be right because dresses are only for women—the rest of the squad agreed with them. I'm surprised you didn't hear it yourself."
"Neal and I had moved to a new table a few rows over as Alanna and George left. Right as you were moving to leave actually, and Daine, Buri and Numair went with us," the usually peppery Yamani had simmered down a bit at Kel's words. "But that was only Dom's squad, not Dom himself. What did he do or say to that effect?"
Kel shut her eyes for a moment, collecting her thoughts, before they flew open and she said icily, "He did not disagree with them. And when we went for our picnic, he was so dazed at my dress and—and, and I…" Kel allowed her voice to trail off.
"You what, Kel?" Yuki asked gently.
"When we returned to the fort, I kissed his cheek, and he didn't react to it at all."
Lalasa had finished with Lord Raoul's fitting by this time, and he chose that moment to rejoin the group. "What are you two discussing that can't be said in front of the rest of us?" the knight asked.
It was Yuki who turned to him and answered, in Common, "I believe Kel has forgotten one of the most crucial aspects of her training among my people." The noblewoman turned to Kel herself again, "You have forgotten your shin no hansha."
King Jonathan frowned, "I've never heard that phrase before, have you, Thayet?"
"No, dear, indeed I have not heard it either." The queen turned expectantly to Yuki for an explanation, but the Yamani had eyes only for Kel.
Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan addressed the room as a whole, "It literally means one's true reflection. True reflection is a Yamani concept for one's truest self. By looking into a pure mirror, with no distortions, one can see exactly how they look.
"But to see the shin no hansha, one must be completely honest with themselves. A person has to accept themselves for who they really are inside and come to terms with the very essence of their being. It is a very difficult process than involves months of deep meditation and several pilgrimages into the heart of the mountains.
"One must journey into the farthest recesses of nature and attempt to commune with the great spirits from the eras before man walked the earth. It is by sojourning multiple times over a period of time that one shows devotion to the task and demonstrates the strength of their desire to both understand who they are and become one with nature, one with the world around them."
The other Easterners sat in astonished muteness. The Eastern lands weren't as in touch with their environment. Only the most devout priests achieved anything close to such high self-awareness, or even sought after it, for that matter.
Yuki's eyes remained trained on Kel as the Yamani woman spoke, "That ritual is for those who would wish to bring balance to the world, not just to the people of Yaman. Only those seeking the ability to mediate between large numbers of peoples or those who have completely lost their way make the journey."
The woman turned to everyone, finally looking away from Keladry, "There is a simpler form of the ritual, one most Yamanis practice during their daily meditations," she looked back to Kel. "You merely have to focus inward and admit one thing about yourself that you have never previously voiced. Be brutally honest, with no reservations.
"Every day that you do this, you come a little closer to your shin no hansha once more, chipping past the surface until you can see what lies underneath, and you grow as a person. If you want to be happy, you need to understand who you actually are. You must discover what it truly means to be Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, not as the world sees you, but as you are in your essence.
"This level of honesty proves difficult to achieve; it would help if you shared more with your friends. Something that those close to you see in you might help reveal to you what makes you who you are." Yuki finished with a nod.
Dom chuckled lightly, unwittingly drawing the attention of the room to himself; they all looked askance at him. "What's so funny, Fruithead?" asked Neal.
"Nothing, and don't call me that!" Dom retorted, before adding, "It's just, why do I get the feeling that none of us really know what's going on here?" he turned to his cousin's betrothed. "What aren't you telling us, Yuki?"
"It is not for me to say."
Before anyone could persist with the conversation's new direction, Lalasa loudly cleared her throat. Once she'd garnered the room's attention, she spoke, "I don't mean to interrupt, but this has all gotten much too serious and slightly gloomy. We have a wedding to finish planning, and most of you still require final fittings."
As if on cue, George let himself into the suite of rooms, cloaked and dripping rainwater. "Who started the festivities without me, eh?"
The mood tangibly lifted as the tension faded with the Baron's entrance; the whole party chortled and Sir Alanna beamed at her husband; however that grin faded as Lalasa called for the nobles of Pirate's Swoop to come over for her to take their measurements.
Conversation dissolved once more into a light and easy flow. Kel was just thankful that everyone had finally stopped staring at her; she'd grown weary of letting so much of her pent up emotions escape in front of so many people. In particular, Kel wasn't comfortable sharing this information for the King, the Queen, Buri, Alanna, and Dom to hear.
Raoul was like a father to Kel, Neal was her best friend, and Yuki had known Kel longer even than Neal. When it came to Daine, Kel knew the slightly older woman saw more of people than they tended to see in themselves, and the Wildmage was such a friend, helping with Peachblossom and Kel's other animals. As for Master Numair, Kel sensed he'd been through his own fair share of heartache, and Kel knew his power scared most people, making him feel as alone as she did most times.
Kel just thanked the gods conversation had moved on. She roused herself from her musings and noticed the groups had shifted. Now Kel sat with Raoul, Numair, the King, Dom, and Yuki. Alanna was still being fitted, Daine had moved to speak with Raoul about his gelding, Thayet was engaging Alanna and George as Lalasa moved back and forth between the couple, and Buri was offering what she knew of K'miri healing to Nel.
After her perusal of the room, Kel focused on the discussion happening in front of her. Before the talk of Kel's well-being had begun, Raoul, Dom, and Numair had been discussing the now-moot methods of battling the killing devices. The King was still interested to hear of the varying successes against the deadly opponents. Yuki merely sat quietly next to Kel, but listened closely as the four men chatted.
"One thing that really bothered me was the overkill," Dom began. "I mean, the devices screamed overkill. Daggers for toes and fingers, and they four extra joints. It wasn't necessary. We already know how malicious Blayce was, but the design was almost vindictive."
Raoul voiced his agreement, "The little worm had a creative flair, didn't he? And I mean that in the most negative way possible."
Numair raised an eyebrow, "The pathetic excuse of a man was thrown out of school and ostracized throughout these lands. He probably still held a bit of resentment against his teachers."
"What are the chances of someone continuing Blayce's work, Numair? I don't want to have to deal with that again," the King shuddered.
Though his question had been directed at Numair, Kel spoke up, "Your Majesty, all of his work was destroyed. That castle was burned down to the ground, and that Nothing Man wasn't the sort to leave his work anywhere but his workroom—anywhere else and someone might have seen it and in his mind that would have rendered him obsolete."
The King frowned slightly, but looked thoughtful. "You're sure there is no way for any other person to repeat the experiments?"
"I am absolutely certain." Kel remained as respectful as she knew how to be, though the King's words grated on her nerves.
Dom faced the king, "Your Majesty, Kel wouldn't have let us leave without being completely thorough. Everything was destroyed in the fire." Kel smiled inwardly at his defense. It was good to know her friends would support her even in front of the royals.
"I didn't mean to imply any lack of diligence on the Lady Knight's part; I just don't want to watch my people suffer anymore." The King spoke softly at the end there.
Kel caught Jonathan's eye before saying, "I understand, Sire. It must be so difficult to refrain when you know there's more you could be doing for your people."
Jonathan slightly quirked his head to the side. "True, it is not the easiest thing in the world to remain in a safe zone, but there is also much good I can do from within the capital to aid in the war effort. It helps that Roald and Shinkokami have wed. General Vanget worries a bit less now that my heir is more established within the realm."
Numair smirked, "How was the wedding, Jon? I wasn't able to make it back to the capital myself."
The King regarded his friend with a pointed glare, "Though the wedding was smaller than usual to avoid excess costs, there were parties for weeks after. I'm sure your flitting about the forts had nothing to do with your desire to avoid state functions," the king finished with a knowing, sarcastic tone and a disapproving frown.
Numair's grin grew even wider, "Your Majesty, I would never wish to exclude myself from the necessary festivities, however nor can I shirk my duties here on the border."
"I have it on good authority that you could have spared two or three weeks last month, Numair. No matter, I'm sure plenty of our returning knights will seek marriage after the war, and I'll make sure you attend every single wedding," the King managed to sport an innocent yet triumphant smile.
Numair pouted as the others chuckled at his expense. It was then that Yuki decided to join the conversation. "The wedding was not insufferable as court affairs so often are. My lady and His Highness held a beautiful but simple ceremony. It was concise yet romantic." She frowned at the group, "I do not understand this Eastern distaste for social gatherings."
Dom turned to his future cousin-in-law, "It isn't really an Eastern custom so much as it's a disposition of certain progressives. Like Kel, and my Lord Raoul. One would think courtiers carried different strains of the plague the way these two avoid court." This remark earned the Sergeant two glares and an unspoken promise of revenge.
Before either knight could verbally retaliate, Lalasa called for Dom, sparing the Sergeant. Alanna and George came over with Thayet, chuckling at some witty aside the monarch had muttered.
Numair for his part sighed dramatically and looked down at his wife, "It looks like we're to be the last, my love."
"That's fine by me," Daine grinned, then turned thoughtful, "although I suppose that means we have to wait the longest."
Neal couldn't contain his excitement, "My Yamani flower and I don't have to be fitted since we're not part of the ceremony!"
"Laugh all you like now, Sir Nealan," Lalasa called meekly. "When you and Lady Yuki marry, I shall make your fitting longer than Midwinter."
The green-eyed knight waxed squeamish, mortified at the turn of events. Naturally, the whole chamber had heard and took delight in teasing the young noble. Though Neal was upset with Lalasa's doomful promise, he was also happy the woman was finally comfortable enough around him to joke with him.
"And don't worry Master Numair. I've purposefully saved you two – the most difficult – for last."
Daine turned to the woman she'd jested with during lunch with a heartbroken expression, "What makes us the most difficult?"
"It's not personal on my part, but it might be on yours," Lalasa frowned at the pair. "Neither one of you has ever sought my services; the only reference measurements I had for your wear came from the palace tailors—they're not to be trusted," the dressmaker finished emphatically. "I went ahead and put something together for you both, but I'm sure I'll have to make numerous readjustments."
Kel snorted loudly, "As if anything you made could ever fit less than perfectly, Lalasa! Your work is always perfect." The older woman blushed heavily at the compliment, even to this day she wasn't entirely used to Kel's kind words.
Buri piped up with another K'miri practice for childbirth, regaining Neal's attention. Alanna and Thayet moved from Kel's group to Neal's to offer their own inputs; Neal constantly interrupted with interjections about the newest member of New Hope's untimely entrance into the world. The other group's conversation diffused as Numair and George plied Kel with questions of New Hope; Jonathan, Dom, and Raoul discussed the goings-on of the Own; and Yuki regaled Daine with various rare species of animals unique to the Islands.
The wedding planners continued their well-earned recreation until the last bell before midnight. As the partygoers dispersed, Raoul invited Kel to breakfast with him and Buri the next morning; Buri extended a similar invitation to Jonathan and Thayet.
A/N: Whoa! It got very intense there, and way too serious for my tastes. However, it was necessary. I feel like a similar set of conversations would eventually have popped up within the canon had Pierce continued the series. For Kel and Dom to get to the point we all want them to, she needs to start liking herself.
We find out in one of the books (I think it's in Page, but I could be wrong) that Kel's been told she's built along the lines of a cow - and she doesn't really seem to disagree. I noticed undertones of self-deprecation throughout the books, and I personally think she needs to grow as a person before she can enter into a healthy relationship.
I'd say more on the subject, but then I'd be revealing crucial passages of Part B, so you'll just have to wait on that update to get more background info on the subject.
As always, I hope you got as much enjoyment out of reading this as I did writing it.
Rdr-Wrtr
Chapter 4's title, Scrutiny, comes from the uncomfortably personal attention certain characters receive in both parts of the chapter. Part A gets its subtitle, shin no hansha, from the concept itself which I invented; that part of the scene (including the entire conversation about Kel) is the crux of the section.
I simply used Google translate to find the Japanese words for 'true reflection' (what little we know of the Yamani language has always reminded me of Japanese). Though the idea is in no way canon, I feel like it could be. It's certainly somber and significant enough to be Yamani, and the ritual is something that fits into the Yamani warrior stoic; Kel needs some sort of reminder or epiphany to help her regain her focus; once she does that, she'll be whole and can pursue her dreams (both her romantic and her career dreams).
Part B also has a subtitle, but you'll have to wait for it to be uploaded to see it and its explanation.