Disclaimer: I don't own Tiny Toon Adventures.
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Chapter 10
It has been one day since the Black Lagoon incident. Miraculously, all of Buster's bones that were broken by Elmyra healed up pretty quickly, eliminating the need for a hospital.
The next day, Buster was driving everyone to the nearest town in his car.
"Gee, Buster. I never knew you had a driver's license" Hamton said.
"I don't have a driver's license" Buster said.
"Then…how did you get this car?" Hamton asked suspiciously.
Buster looked around with a shifty look.
"Um…you probably don't want to know" Buster said.
"So, when are we going to get to Happy World Land?" Plucky asked.
"In a few seconds." Buster said.
"Really?"
"No."
Plucky lowered his head down in sadness.
"Are we anywhere remotely near Happy World Land yet?" Plucky asked.
"Well, let's see," Buster said as he got his road map. Of course he had to let go of the steering wheel to do this, and the car went out of control.
The car began to run over everything and everyone who was remotely near the car began to run for their lives.
"Alright, according to our position on the map and the location of Happy World Land, we'll need to take this pathway to Happy World Land and we'll need to take several detours and follow several complex directions that can easily be followed after a brief interaction with the-"
"What does that all mean?!" Plucky asked.
"It means that we're not there yet" Buster said.
At the moment, Buster's car had just finished driving through a bank after crashing out of a mini-mall. Buster put his map away as the car crashed into the orphanage.
"Um, Buster, maybe you should take the steering wheel again before we crash into any more banks" Babs said.
"Why?" Buster asked.
A police car slammed into them.
"That's why" Babs said.
"Oh shoot, it's the cops! I can't go back to jail!" Buster said.
"Wait, you've been to jail before?"
"Of course not. I just said that for dramatic tension" Buster said.
"Guys, do something!" Hamton shouted.
"We're going to get arrested!" Plucky shouted.
"No problem. We won't get arrested if we don't get caught. And we won't get caught if we can escape from them" Buster said.
Buster sped up the car as fast as he could go.
The police cars (there were 5 cars) sped up to match their speed. Unfortunately for the Tiny Toons, their car wasn't as fast as the police cars.
"Drat," muttered Buster. He began swerving around the road. The police cars were catching up.
"Our car isn't going fast enough. We need to get rid of everything that's heavy enough to slow the car down!" Buster shouted.
The others got to work.
Plucky took out an anvil and flung it into the road. The anvil collided with one of the police cars and the car slammed into a lamppost.
Babs tossed out a golf bag, and Plucky picked up Hamton and was about to throw him out the window.
"Plucky, what are you DOING?!" Hamton asked.
"Sorry, Hammy, but your weight is holding our car down. So, we must toss you out and sacrifice you. Nothing personal, pal." Plucky said.
Hamton was screaming as he was tossed out the window.
The car began to move faster, but the police cars were still catching up to the Tiny Toons (minus Hamton, who was tossed out the window)
Buster took a gun and began to fire at the police.
"Um, can we use guns in a 'K' rated fanfic?" Babs asked.
"Relax, Babsy, it's just a water-gun." Buster said.
"Um…what can a water gun do against a heavily armored police car?" Babs asked.
"Er…I'm…not sure" Buster responded.
"You idiot" Babs said.
"Guys, oh guys? Don't look now but I think that we're going to die" Plucky said.
"Why do you say that?" Buster asked.
Plucky pointed toward the road in front of them and Buster realized that they were about to drive off of a cliff.
"Guys, jump out of the car!" Buster shouted.
Buster, Babs, and Plucky jumped out of the car and ran off on the sidewalk, past the police cars.
The car that they were driving fell off the cliff, and the police cars also fell off the cliff.
"You see guys, I told you that we can escape the clutches of the police" Buster said.
"Yes, but without the car, how are we going to get to Happy World Land?" Babs asked.
"I guess we'll just walk" Buster shrugged.
At that moment, Hamton walked up to the group with a look of anger on his face.
"Oh hey, Hamton. What's up" Plucky said.
Hamton strangled Plucky.
"Hamton… (gasp)…what's wrong?" Plucky asked.
"WHAT'S WRONG?! You just threw me out the window and left me there to die!" Hamton shouted.
"No I didn't! I would never do such a thing!" Plucky shouted.
"Don't give me that! I saw you throw me out the window!" Hamton said.
"It couldn't have been me! I wasn't even there!" Plucky said.
"Then, where were you?" Hamton asked.
"I was at home, eating chips and watching TV!" Plucky said.
"Well, I clearly saw you throw me out the window!" Hamton said.
"Gee, it must have been someone who looks exactly like me!" Plucky said.
"There is no one who looks exactly like you!" Hamton shouted.
"You don't know that!" Plucky said.
"Guys, stop fighting! It doesn't matter who threw Hamton out the window. The point is: Hamton is alive and well. So are we going to Happy World Land or not?!" Buster said.
"Alright, alright, lead the way…" Plucky said.
So, they began to walk towards Happy World Land. After a few hours, the toons made it to a western looking town.
Plucky and Hamton dropped to the ground in exhaustion.
"Are…we…at…Happy World Land…yet?" Plucky asked while sweating.
"Nope. We've still got several million miles to go before we can make it to Happy World Land" Buster said.
Hamton gasped.
"I don't have enough energy to walk several thousand miles" Hamton said.
"And even if we did have enough energy for that, we'd still take forever to get to Happy World Land. By the time we get there at this rate, Summer Vacation will be over" Babs said.
"Hmm, maybe driving our car off the cliff wasn't such a good idea after all…" Buster said.
Plucky sighed, "Can we…at least…take a break? All this walking…is making me sick…"
"And this sun is just unbearable…" Hamton said.
Buster sighed.
"I suppose we might as well take a break. After all, it is extremely hot out here. Come on, guys. Let's see if we can rent a hotel out here…" Buster said.
"When you say 'hotel'," Plucky asked, "do you mean an actual hotel or some run down roadside shack in the middle of nowhere, owned by some gap-toothed creepy guy, and when you're in the shower or sleeping a freak with a mask comes in your room, stabs you to death, then throws the body into some gorge or off a cliff a few miles away so the police won't find them."
The others blinked at him.
"Plucky, you watch too many horror movies" Buster said.
"What, I'm just saying…" Plucky said.
And so, Buster and his entourage walked throughout the town, abandoning their quest for Happy World Land and taking on a new quest: finding a hotel.
In a normal situation, they would just ask someone where the nearest hotel was. However, they couldn't find anybody. It was almost as if the place was a ghost town.
"I wonder why there isn't anybody here." Babs said.
"Well, it is summer. Maybe they all decided to take a vacation and leave" Plucky suggested.
"Everyone took a vacation and left at the same time?" Babs asked doubtfully.
Plucky shrugged.
"It's possible" Plucky said.
"I'm hungry…" Hamton said.
"We can get some food at the hotel. But first we have to find one…" Buster said as they kept walking.
Western-type music played in the background as the Tiny Toons strutted through the town in search of a hotel. They crossed through dungeons, caves, and mazes as they searched for their destination.
Buster looked around but there was nothing except some small buildings and a low fence. Buster decided to vault over the fence, not realizing that it was in fact a railing on the edge of a canyon with spikes on the bottom.
After a while, the Tiny Toons (plus a battered and bruised Buster) made it to an old western-type inn.
"This looks like a promising hotel" Buster said.
Buster walked up to the door and opened it. The door gave an ominous creaking sound, but no one seemed to care except for Plucky who took slow steps into the hotel.
Buster looked inside and blinked.
The main hall was full of small tables where some men were playing cards. They looked up for a minute when they came in and watched them with suspicious eyes.
Buster shrugged and put his hands in his "pockets" as he walked up to the counter.
At the sight of him, the clerk started waving his hands like a lunatic.
"No room, no room!" cried the clerk.
"There're tons of free rooms," Buster pointed out.
"Why, I should say there are," the clerk pointed out snobbishly. "But they're all occupied, sorry."
Buster seethed with rage.
"But the sign says that there's still vacancy in this inn!" Buster said.
"Just because the sign says that doesn't mean that the rooms aren't occupied." the clerk said.
"Oh, well, that's a shame. After all, we were ready to pay for a room and-"
"Oh, you're paying customers? Well, that's different! I'm certain that we can find a room for you guys." the clerk said.
"Um…okay"
And so, the clerk led the Tiny Toons to their room.
After doing so, he held out his hands, clearly expecting a tip. Buster took the clerk's hand and shook it in a friendly handshake. Then, he slammed the door in the clerk's face.
The room they had gotten was actually one of those rooms that were actually two rooms in one. The guys had decided to bunk in the first room and have an X-Treme sleepover, while Babs would be in her own room, talking to Harriet on her phone and doing girl stuff.
Hamton was hungry and decided to hit the buffet table while Babs accompanied him, and in the meantime, Plucky and Buster were checking out their room.
Plucky had gone in the bathroom and stuffed the soap and towels in his bag. Then, he went in the other room and began swiping everything that he could find that wasn't nailed to the floor.
"What are you doing?" Buster asked.
"What does it look like? I'm stealing most of the good stuff I can find. And when we leave, I might just steal these pillows. See anything you want to swipe Buster?" Plucky asked.
"I'm not stealing anything from this place!" spat Buster.
Plucky shrugged.
"Suit yourself" Plucky said, before grabbing more steal-able items.
Meanwhile, Hamton was busy pigging out at the buffet table and Babs could only watch as Hamton sucked the food into his mouth like a vacuum.
"Ah, there's nothing like a little snack before dinner" Hamton said in satisfaction.
"A little snack?" repeated Babs, "You cleared out the entire buffet table!"
"That was a buffet table? I thought that was a sample platter." Hamton said as he stuffed more food into his mouth.
Babs shook her head as she watched Hamton eat more food.
Meanwhile, Plucky had turned on the television and was choosing what channel to watch.
"This show is a good one" Plucky said.
"The Plucky Duck Show?!" asked Buster, "I'm not watching that!"
"Why? It's a good show." Plucky said.
"No it's not! It's the worst cartoon in the history of history" Buster said.
"Remember when you watched it before? You seemed to like it then…"
Flashback Time!
So there Buster was, lying in bed and watching TV.
Incidentally, he was watching the Plucky Duck Show! Buster winced openly as he watched the show.
"This is ridiculous! Watching Elmyra torture animals is more entertaining than this piece of garbage! The show is boring and it has no plot! And worst of all, I'm not in the show! Well, not often anyways. And it's no where near funny! Something has to be done. Plucky! Get your feathery green butt in here!" Buster shouted.
The green duck came cruising in.
"Yes, Buster?" Plucky said innocently.
"Don't 'yes Buster' me. Look at this screen and tell me what you see!" Buster said.
Plucky looked at the TV screen.
"Well, I see the greatest TV show in the history of existence." he said.
"'The greatest TV show in the history of existence' my foot! I don't have that kind of patience! Your cartoon is terrible! TERRIBLE!" howled Buster.
"I don't see what's wrong with it" Plucky said.
"You don't see what's wrong with it! Everything's wrong with it! Look at this! What kind of a comedy cartoon is this? It's boring and it has the worst sense of humor. Anyone who watches it will die just by looking at it!" Buster said.
Plucky snorted.
"You're just mad because my show is better than anything you can come up with"
"Are you kidding me?! This is the worst cartoon that I have ever been unfortunate enough to see. I can take getting crushed by Elmyra, but this is a different form of torture! I'd rather tear off my arms and legs than watch this garbage!" bellowed Buster, gesturing meaningfully at the TV.
"This is the worst cartoon in the history of cartoons! This cartoon is a blight in the world of cartoons. Why, this cartoon brings nothing but shame and disgrace to the Warner Brothers name. This is ridiculous! Unheard of!"
Foam began to form in Buster's mouth as his pupils dilated.
"How could this happen… this is ridiculous!" he growled.
"Now, calm down Buster" Plucky said.
"CALM DOWN?! How can I calm down when I'm being subjected to such cruel punishment?! This is worse than that time when you stole all of my money and used them to pay for comic books!" Buster screamed.
"Well, how about we just watch the show?" Plucky suggested.
End of Flashback
"See what I mean? You watched the show and you liked it" Plucky said.
"No I didn't. As I recall, I snarled at you to turn it off!" Buster said.
"Well, let's just watch it, anyway" Plucky said.
A half-hour later, Plucky was chuckling slightly and Buster was in a horrible mood.
"Oh, lighten up, you know that was funny" Plucky said.
Buster was about ready to tear his own ears off. And he would have too if it wasn't for what happened next…
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Babs and Hamton were hanging around in the dining hall. Suddenly, a man that was looking out the window saw some approaching figures heading for the inn. He panicked before running over to a bell and he rung it.
"They're coming! They're coming!" the man said in panic.
Everyone gasped except for Hamton and Babs. Babs because she didn't know what the fuss was about; and Hamton because he was too busy eating to give two hoots about what was happening.
Before Babs could question anybody on what was happening, the swinging doors suddenly slammed open. Three menacing figures walked in.
The figures had guns in their hands and were looking over everyone in the building.
After looking at everyone, the figure in the middle came up and said, "Alright, you know what we're here for! Hand over your valuables or else!"
As if they rehearsed for this, the people automatically began taking their valuables and they handed it to them.
The three men came around the room and slowly put everyone's valuables in their bag.
Babs grew nervous while Hamton was eating a chicken sandwich without a care in the world.
Soon, the men walked closer to her. Babs knew she was done for.
Finally, the men had reached her and they held out their bag.
Babs did nothing.
"Well? Are you going to hand over your valuables, or are we going to have to get rough with you?" the man said.
"Um, oh, look, it's a three-headed monkey!" Babs yelled.
"Where?"
They turned around only to find that there was nothing there.
"Wait a minute. There's no such thing as a three-headed monkey…" the man said.
They turned back around and they saw that Babs was gone.
The trio turned to see Babs running down the hallway. They chased after her.
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Buster was about to explode when suddenly, they heard the sound of a bell ringing followed by some distant shouts of, "They're coming!"
After a while, they heard a commotion downstairs and Buster and Plucky looked at each other.
"What's going on?" Buster asked.
"Don't ask me" Plucky said as they looked at the door.
For a moment, there was silence. Then, Buster slowly walked up to the door and opened it.
Babs ran inside of the room and slammed it shut.
"Guys, we've got to hide!" Babs said.
"Why?" Buster said.
Some gunshots flew through the hall and hit the door.
"Come on out, little bunny! Come out, come out, wherever you are!" the man said.
"AAH! Who are those guys?!" Plucky asked.
"I don't really know. But if we don't get out of here, they'll take all of our valuables! Either that or they'll kill us. Or maybe they'll do both." Babs said.
The men were searching the hallway.
"All right," said Buster, "We've locked the door and sealed it shut. Now we have to just have to wait."
"Wait for what?"
"Who knows? Maybe they'll just give up and go away." Buster said.
A bullet flew through the door.
"Yeah, maybe they'll give up, he says." Babs said.
"Well, I don't see you coming up with any ideas! They're trying to kill us!" Buster said as the door began to catch on fire as someone was burning it from the outside.
"There's our escape route" Plucky said, "We'll just jump out the window. Once we do, we'll be out of the hotel. Then, we'll just have to wait until Hamton kills those guys. Or maybe until those guys kill Hamton. I don't know. Anyway, if we jump out the window, we'll be safe!"
"We're three stories up. Could we survive a fall like that?" Babs asked.
"Don't worry. Cats always land on their feet!" Plucky said.
"We're not cats. And even if we did land on our feet, there's the 100 percent chance that every bone in our feet will be broken once we hit the ground" Babs said.
"Well, unless you have a better idea…" Plucky started.
Then, someone hammered on the door.
The toons jumped.
"Alright, anyone have any better ideas?" Babs asked.
"I've got an idea!" Buster said.
"No, your last few ideas got us in trouble, nearly arrested, and nearly killed." Babs said.
"But this idea is-!"
"You know what? Let's just go with Plucky's plan! Everyone jump out the window!" Babs said.
Babs grabbed Buster and Plucky and they broke through the three story window and fell to the ground… only for the three story window to get revealed to be a twenty story window!
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" they screamed in terror of falling twenty stories…
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The Tiny Toons screamed as they fell twenty stories.
"Babs, I thought you said it was three stories?!" Buster asked.
"Well, I could've sworn it was three stories when I last checked." Babs said confused.
"Oh, great. Now, we're going to die. I can see the headline now. Two Dorky-Looking Rabbits and an Extremely Good Looking Duck get Killed After Falling Twenty Stories to the Ground." Plucky said.
"That's not helping, Plucky!" Buster said in a panic.
Babs crossed her arms casually.
"Hey, chill guys, it could be worse." Babs said.
"How?" Buster asked.
"We could be falling one hundred stories to the ground." Babs said as if that would make them feel better.
They looked down and saw that they were a hundred stories above the ground.
"I hate this. I hate this a lot." Plucky said miserably.
They began to fall even farther.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
The wind flew in their faces as the ground got ever closer, promising to break every bone in their bodies once they hit it. If they survived that is. Which they probably wouldn't…
But then, when their imminent demise came ever closer they heard it…
"Ha, ha, ha! These Baby Huey comics get funnier every year!" Plucky said as he read while sipping a small box of Juicy Juice.
"You imbecile! How can you read comics when we're in the middle of a crisis?!" Babs shouted, enraged.
"Wait. I've got an idea! We'll take Plucky's comic and put it under our feet. Then, the comic will cushion our fall." Buster said.
"The comic isn't strong enough to cushion all three of us! We'd still break all of our bones! And besides, wouldn't it be better to use the comic as a parachute or something?" Babs said.
"We can't. We already tried that in an earlier chapter, Babsy. And if we become repetitive then the few readers that this story has picked up will lose their interest. If the readers lose their interest, then they won't review. Without any reviews, the author will have no inspiration for this story and it will have to be cancelled. If this story is cancelled then we will no longer be able to continue our adventure." Buster said.
"But if we just do nothing then we'll have to cancel the story anyway, because we'll be too dead to do anything significant! It's better to lose our readers and reviewers than to lose our lives!" Babs said.
Buster shrugged his shoulders.
"Just go with the program, Babs." he said.
The ground got even closer.
"So, guys. Any last words before we depart from this world?" Buster said.
"Whoa! I can't believe that happened! Baby Huey didn't deserve that! Why did they have to do that to Baby Huey! Why? Why? WHY! WHYYYY!" Plucky screamed into Buster's ear.
Buster grabbed his own face and stretched it in irritation.
The ground was really close now.
Before the toons could hit the ground, three men caught them and stopped their fall.
"Huh? Hey, we're saved!" Buster said.
"Aw, Baby Huey is so cute!" Plucky said.
"Um, guys? Look" Babs pointed to the men who saved them.
Buster and Plucky gasped.
Plucky gasped because he realized that he was out of Juicy Juice. Buster gasped because he realized that the three men who were holding them were the same ones that were shooting at them in the hotel.
The men each grabbed them and squeezed them tight.
"Ugh, let go of us!" Buster said.
"Well, well, well. I thought you guys looked familiar. Never thought we'd run into each other again." the man said.
"What are you talking about?!" Buster asked.
The men took off their disguises to reveal three very familiar coyotes.
"It's the Coyote Kid (if you don't know who he is, check out the TTA episode 'High Toon')!" Buster shouted.
"That's right! After you stopped us the last time, we decided to take over another western-type town!" the Coyote Kid said.
"Only this time, you toons won't get in our way" one of Kid's lackeys said.
"And to make sure of that, we're taking you to our very own prison cells, where you will rot for the rest of your lives! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Kid laughed evilly.
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Uh oh. The Coyote Kid is back and he's landing our favorite Tiny Toons in prison. Will they escape? Will they defeat him in another western-type brawl? Will they ever make it to Happy World Land? Will this story ever get up to at least 25 reviews?
I guess we'll have to find out the answers to those questions in the next installment of Happy World Land!