"How did you find me?" were the first words that fell from his mouth as he stood gawping at his visitor.
"You weren't exactly hard to find," she replied with a stony expression on her face. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
Taking a deep breath his stood back and allowed her to enter, unsure of whether she would hug him or hit him.
"Nice place you've got here," she said accusingly as she eyed the hallway up and down.
"It's nothing much," he replied quietly as he tried to regain some sort of composure as he holstered his weapon.
Her eyes caught his movements. "Were you expecting someone else?"
He ignored the comment and ushered her through into the kitchen. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"You got any wine?" she asked as her eyes travelled around the room, taking in every item and piece of furniture as if that would give her a better understanding of the man she used to know.
He shook his head, "All I have is coffee….no milk."
"How the hell do you get by?" she asked as she frowned at his paltry attempt at hospitality.
"I haven't lived here for a while…..I'd just come by to collect some things."
She stared at him for a moment or two before finally accepting the offer of a coffee, watching him as he made his way around the kitchen skilfully, admiring his pert rear end as he did so.
"You look good…..for a dead man," she finally spoke as he placed the mug down in front of her, freezing momentarily as her words registered.
"About that…I'm sorry. If there was any other way…."
"You're sorry?" she shouted as her anger broke through the surface of her calm exterior. "Do you have any idea what I went through…..how I felt when they found your body? I thought you were dead…..I thought you'd betrayed me….betrayed all of us."
"I'm sorry," he repeated quietly as he sat on a chair his head bowed.
"Not good enough!" she yelled as she rose to her feet. "How could you? How could you have done that to us…..to me?"
He made his way over to her, holding his arms out in supplication. "I know I can never make it right….what I did…I did it to protect you," he pleaded with her.
The speed with which she moved caught him by surprise as she slapped him viciously around the face; a hit that he knew was justified. He had left them all behind, he'd run away from his past and left them only with the bitterness and sorrow that had been left in his wake.
"I hate you!" she screamed as he caught her flailing arm before it could make contact with his cheek again, a cheek that was still stinging from her last attempt at hitting him. Balling her hands into fists she began thumping at his chest as he pulled her closer, his body absorbing the blows as they began to lessen in their ferocity as her anger dissolved. "I hate you," she sobbed quietly as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close to his body, kissing the top of her head tenderly as her fury turned to sorrow.
She felt herself melt into his warm embrace, feeling emotions from long ago begin to rise to the surface once more. He'd held her like this so many times before, he'd been there each time she'd gotten so upset that she'd lashed out at him and said something cruel. He'd held her as she raged at him and everything that was wrong in her world, held her as she hit out at him in frustration. And he had always been there, offering his loving embrace; it was then that she felt his strength and the sense that he would protect her no matter what.
But he'd left her, left her behind in a cruel world to face the fact that he was dead and would never be coming back. When Andy had told her of his death she had faced it with her usual pragmatism, that was until he had left her apartment, only when the door closed behind him did she break down in tears as the realisation that she would never see him again hit home.
Perhaps in some small piece of her heart she held on to the hope that they would be reunited, even when she had married Danny a part of her still longed for the man she had chosen to leave, a choice that had haunted her from time to time. It had been a thorny subject between her and her husband, the father of her two children, resentment began to build on Danny's part that he would never be able to fill the void that had been left by her ex-husband, a void that grew exponentially when news of his murder had surfaced.
It wasn't until he had vanished from her life completely that she realised just how much she missed him. Even after he had moved out and she'd handed him the divorce papers she knew that she still had a hold over him, that all she would have to do was click her fingers and bat her eyelids at him and he would come running back to her arms. He hadn't wanted the marriage to end, he'd made that more than clear, and she felt empowered by the control she could exert over him, picking him up and then dropping him again when she felt like it.
Then something changed between them, not long after he had been viciously attacked outside his apartment he had begun to grow distant towards her. No longer did he come running when she called; he appeared distracted and distrustful of others and their intentions. Get on with it, she had thought at the time, her ego wounded that he would no longer fall over himself to please her. Had she thought of someone other than herself she would have realised that something was very wrong with her old lover.
She had chosen to ignore the warning signs, even when she found him passed out from an overdose of pain medication she had allowed him to push her away. Gone was the carefree and happy-go-lucky John, he'd been replaced by a skittish and paranoid loner who no longer took care of himself or the way he looked. His appearance had changed drastically that last time she saw him, the guilt of letting him push her away so easily still ate at her to this day.
She remembered the sense of shock she felt when news broke of his arrest; the idea that her ex could be capable of doing such a thing had floored her. John was as honest as they came, a second generation cop who was devoted to his job and the badge that he wore. He'd sacrificed his marriage for it, for God's sake. There was no reasonable explanation as to why he would do such a thing.
She'd tried for a while to visit his apartment, hoping to talk sense into him, but it became apparent that he had moved away and didn't want to be found. Her willingness to reach out dissipated as she found herself getting closer to Danny; soon her thoughts were filled with marriage and babies as she allowed her paediatrician fiancé to shower her with attention and gifts.
The news of his death came as a shock, it was only then that she realised that if she had just reached out to him when he needed her that she might have been able to prevent his downward slide into the criminal underworld that had ultimately taken his life. The turnout for the service had been pathetic, only she and Robin, plus John's former lieutenant had turned up as he was buried in a cheap and cheerful grave. There were no mourners at his service, only disappointed loved ones, disheartened that a man that they thought they'd known so well could be capable of such things.
She looked up into the worn face of her ex-husband, seeing for the first time the effect his betrayal had on his own body. His youthful features were replaced by lines and sunken eyes as he looked at her with those achingly blue eyes that she had always adored. Andy had told her the news that John was still alive and yet she refused to believe it until she had seen him with her own two eyes.
He cut a sorry figure; his young and athletic body had been replaced with a scarred and frail skeleton of a man, his face gaunt and pale. He wasn't much older than she was yet time had taken its toll in him much more than it had her.
"What did they do to you, Johnny?" she asked sadly as she pulled back to get a better look at his face.
"It doesn't matter, it's over now."
"Tell me….I want to know," she pleaded as she cupped the side of his face with her hand.
He closed her eyes as he felt her tender touch, stirring up memories from a time long ago. "Please….don't," he implored her as he reached up and pulled the hand away.
She would not be denied; she broke free from his embrace and placed her hands on his chest, feeling the silky feeling of his shirt underneath her palms. She reached out and began undoing the buttons, wanting to get a better look at what those monsters had done to him.
He wanted to stop her yet he felt himself powerless to, she still had a hold over him no matter how hard he tried to deny it or tell himself otherwise. He didn't want her to see him like this; his breath came in short gasps as he felt her hands move further down his shirt until she pulled the ends free. He closed his eyes as he heard her gasp, not wanting to see the look of revulsion on her face.
His heart beat wildly as she gently removed the shirt from his body, he could hear her drop it carelessly on the table behind her as her shaky hands reached out to touch the marks on his body, the permanent reminders that the Malucci's had succeeded in taking their pound of flesh from him. His chest was heaving as he felt her fingertips trace the lines and scars, his body trembling beneath her touch as her hands travelled to every exposed portion of him.
"Oh my God," she whispered as her hands shook. The white lines that dotted his upper body were everywhere she looked, along his chest and abdomen and travelled down the length of his arms. He stood stock still as she walked behind him and saw the hideous reminders that he had been beaten, cut and burnt by his savage captors. He had borne the brunt of the anger and evil and he had done it to protect her….to protect all of them.
"I'm so sorry," she sobbed as she embraced him from behind, kissing tenderly at a number of deep scars on his right shoulder as she lay her head on his back, both of their minds heading back to a time that seemed so very long ago.
Flashback. Mexico 1991:
It had certainly turned out to be the kind of holiday destination that had been described in the travel brochure. Mexico had provided sun, sand, sex and Sangria in abundance for the loved-up couple.
From the moment they had touched down in Acapulco they had given in to the hedonism that an all-inclusive holiday provided. It didn't matter that the honeymoon had cost him an arm and a leg; it was worth it to see the look of pure joy on his wife's face.
My wife, he repeated to himself with a stupid grin. He had done it; he had married the woman that he'd fallen head over heels in love with. He couldn't really remember much of the wedding, only the memory of his beautiful wife waking up beside him the next morning completely naked, and their celebrations continued with abandon as they once again gave into their passion and desire for each other.
They had spent their first few days either lounging in bed or by the pool, he'd taken great pleasure in watching her lithe body enter and exit the pool as her bikini hugged her womanly curves in all the right places. He rubbed sun cream into her smooth skin when asked and joined her in the shower after each swim as he helped to wash the chlorine off of her body in his own unique way.
If Lori was a drug, he knew he was addicted. She was insatiable but then again, so was he. They were both young and in love and definitely in the midst of their honeymoon period. Nothing was out of bounds or too risky for them as they allowed their passion and a little too much alcohol to cloud their judgement.
He'd taken advantage of the massage therapies on offer whilst Lori had taken another dip in the pool and was delighted when she appeared more than a little jealous that another woman had got her hands on her man. It had led to a playful tiff as she insisted that she would be the only woman allowed to massage him. And massage him she did…in some very interesting places.
Days spent enjoying the sun and sand gave way to nights of good conversation, good food and even better company, made all the better by knowing how they would end each and every night in their luxury holiday apartment.
Their romantic break had ended far too soon as far as either of them were concerned, their hearts heavy with the realisation that they would have to fly back to New York the next morning. They had made the most of their last night of seclusion, away from the prying eyes of their friends and family, taking their time to explore and pleasure each other in the way that only they could.
He had left her in the shower a few moments before, giving her time to regain her equilibrium after providing her with another mind-blowing orgasm, something that he had become so very good at. She found him standing by the sliding glass doors as he sipped champagne from a glass flute, wearing nothing but a white towel as it hugged his thin hips seductively.
Walking up behind him she wrapped her arms around his chest and kissed his shoulder tenderly before resting her head against his still wet back, feeling the water cascade down from his damp hair onto her own head.
"Promise me, Johnny. Promise me we'll stay like this forever.
He answered her by picking up one of her hands and raising it to his lips, planting a gentle yet moist peck on her warm flesh. "I promise."
Present day. Miami:
His shock at hearing the front door open left him frozen in place, he hadn't had time to move before she came bounding into the kitchen with that worried frown on her face. Her mouth opened to call out to him until her eyes fell on the compromising clinch he'd been caught in.
Her mouth opened in the shape of an 'O' as she struggled to comprehend the image that greeted her. Her surprise soon turned to anger as she gave him a withering look before turning around and making her way hastily back the way she had come.
He broke free of Lori's embrace as he raced after her, not caring that he was shirtless as he ran to catch her up. "Calleigh, wait!" he called out to her but it was too late, she had made it to her car and sped away, leaving him in her wake.