Okay so I know I'm throwing the last two chapters at you in one day but I have the patience of someone who has no patience. I want to finish this mini fic up so I can return my focus to ACP, and I figured why not just post it all at once?

Two years, four months and seven days. That's how long it's been since the last time I've seen Peeta Mellark.

I'd be lying if I said I've forgotten about him, that I don't still love him. I mean obviously I know to the day how long it's been since we said goodbye the one time he came with Gale and Finnick to visit, but I'd also be lying if I said these past two years were miserable without him. They haven't been, in fact they've been good.

When Haymitch Abernathy won our district's senate seat, Gale moved to DC as his aid and immediately moved in with me. It's been great to have a piece of home here, even if it means that sometimes there is a drunk senator asleep on my couch who insists on calling me sweetheart. And there's Gale's girlfriend Johanna who I've come to love and who moved in with us a few months ago. She's quickly becoming one of my best friends. Even Finnick makes frequent trips to visit, especially since his job lobbying for cleaner oceans to keep our fishing resources abundant and healthy requires him to do so. And his fiancé Annie is a real treat to be around, and has calmed him down. Some.

Life is good. Not that I don't think about him from time to time, but I usually am able to push those thoughts away and enjoy myself. I even had a successful relationship with a nice man named Marvel, or Marv as Gale and Finn liked to call him, but unfortunately he had to move and it wasn't anything extremely serious, but it was nice. It reminded me that I am worth something good.

I also had a not so successful relationship with a Peeta look alike named Cato, whom Gale eventually beat the shit out of, much to Johanna's bemusement and my horror, but you win some and you lose some I suppose.

My trips home are infrequent, as I make enough money to fly Prim and my Mom up to see me often enough, but they are both understanding when it comes to my reluctance to come home.

After our talk in the garden and our dinner that night, Peeta and I skirted around each other, using Finn and Gale as buffers. I could tell he wanted to talk to me about something but he never approached me and I was done trying to force a conversation so I just let it go, and by proxy I let him go as well. It hurt like hell but it was for the best in the long run I suppose.

From what Finnick and Gale have told me he's doing fairly well. Single, running a bakery, and he mostly keeps to himself. Prim swears it's because he hasn't gotten over me, but I don't let myself entertain that idea. It's too hopeful, and I know Prim just wants me to move home and marry him to have little chunky children, but my life is here now. I get to do good things in my line of work, friends surround me, and that's good enough for me.

Sometimes I do dream about those chunky children but I can't control where my subconscious wanders. Those days are tough, but I've learned that if I run until my legs burn and my chest aches I can keep myself from slipping into a Peeta Mellark fueled depression. It's not great but it's what I've got, so it's more than I could have hoped for when he broke my heart all those years ago.

One Saturday morning I wake up to a sunny day and make my way downstairs to the kitchen for coffee. It's been a tough few weeks here in DC, what with the government shutdown, the navy yard shooting and all sorts of other things, so I'm not surprised to find Johanna and Gale sitting at the table quietly discussing a plan to get out of the city. I haven't really thought about it, since I don't really have anywhere I particularly want to go, and I turn my attention to the paper until Gale clears his throat.

"Hey Catnip, we were thinking about going camping for a weekend next month. Finnick and Annie may join, would you like to come?" I look up at him and Johanna, both staring at me waiting for an answer.

"Maybe some other time. I don't want to fifth wheel it, you know?" I shrug apologetically.

Gale scoffs, but I see Johanna reach out and grab his arm, shooting him a look that says "leave her the fuck alone", another reason I've come to love her. She seems to know when to push me and when to not, something Gale has never caught onto even though he's my oldest friend. He quickly shuts his mouth and Johanna and I share a smirk at her ability to tame his temper. She's like a miracle worker I swear.

We spend the rest of the day lazily, Gale in the office, Johanna and I yelling at the refs on TV during all the football games until we are laughing so hard we are reduced to tears. I hear the phone ring in the office but don't really think anything of it; since the landline is the number we give out to not so important work colleagues, and I just assume it's one of the staff members Gale works with.

When he comes out of the office holding the phone to his side, his face pale and in shock however, both Johanna and I sit up and mute the television instantly.

"Babe what is it?" Johanna asks worriedly, and he looks at her for a moment before his eyes land on me.

I'm off the couch in an instant, standing in front of him.

"Gale. What's wrong? Who was that on the phone?" My voice is calm surprisingly, considering my heart is beating a million miles an hour. "Is it Prim? My mom? Rory? Gale what is WRONG?" I yell the last work involuntarily and he shakes his head, as if to clear his mind and get it working again.

"It's, um, that was Peeta's brother."

My heart sinks into my stomach.

"There was an accident Catnip. We need to go home."

I squirm in the seat of the rental car we picked up at the airport when we landed at home. My mind is a haze of worry and nervousness. I don't think Peeta would really want me here, but Gale would hear none of it. He is one of our oldest friends after all, and when one of your oldest friends is in the ICU, you go. Even if he is the man you've been in love with for years that never loved you back, he's still the boy I shared all my secrets with, still the boy whose smile would light up a room. And now he's on a ventilator, coming out of a hospital-induced coma.

Gale said that there had been some sort of oven issue at the bakery, and it caused a gas explosion. Peeta had managed to crawl his way out of the place before he fell into unconsciousness. A beam had fallen on him and punctured a lung somehow, and his leg had been so badly burned it was amputated. He suffered burns on his entire body as well but none as bad as his leg. I haven't been able to speak, not since the image of him, so broken and injured and alone had invaded my head. Gale has been quiet as well, and Johanna has been the only one of us to really handle anything. She got our plane tickets and checked our luggage and has been nursing us back to reality.

When we pull up into the hospital parking lot she shuts off the car engine and sighs.

"Okay guys. I know you're shaken and afraid, but take my advice. The best thing you can do right now for him is to be strong. Don't act like he's less than he was before. Right now he needs people that love him to be there and show him that even though he's lost a lot he still has a lot as well."

I blink and turn to look at her. Gale raises her knuckles to his mouth and kisses them lightly. Johanna's family has had a lot of shit thrown at them so I know she's speaking from experience. I nod in her direction and take a deep breath.

"Just keep being you Johanna, that's been what's been grounding us both so far."

She smiles sadly at us before running a hand across Gale's cheek and squeezing my hand.

"Alright lets go." Gale hops out and opens my door, helping my out of the car before running to do the same for Johanna. She takes both of our hands and we make our way into the ICU, where my mom is a nurse. I see her when we walk in, her back turned to us as we walk up to the desk.

"Mommy?" I say quietly and she turns around instantly, probably since I haven't called her that in years. She quickly rushes around the counter and embraces me, Gale and Johanna.

"Hey baby. I'm so sorry. I've been keeping an eye on him for you guys I promise."

Gale smiles and kisses my mom on the cheek and Johanna smiles at her as well. I fall into her arms again

"Is he…. Is he going to be okay?" I ask shakily. She pulls back to look me in the face and pushes my hair behind my ear.

"Yes, but it's going to be different for him. He doesn't have a leg anymore and his livelihood has been burned to the ground. His dad says the insurance claim will be enough to rebuild it, and we have the best prosthetics man in the business here for him. But he's alive and that's the most important thing."

I nod at her, my eyes looking down the long hallway. I see Finnick and Annie set up in chairs next to Peeta's brothers Samuel and Matt. His Dad is pacing the halls and Matt has his arm around Mrs. Mellark who is resting her head in her hands. My mom kisses my cheek and nods towards where they all are, and the three of us make our way.

Finnick is up instantly and pulling both Gale and I into a massive bear hug. His eyes are red rimmed like I'm sure ours are, and he holds on for a long minute. When he lets us go he gives us a half hearted smile before indicating to the empty chairs near him and Annie. We sit down, but it isn't long before Samuel is kneeling in front of where I sit.

"Hey Sammy." I say weekly. I lean forward and wrap my arms around him the best I can in this position. We hug for a while before he pats my back. I lean back and wipe the tears from my eyes and he grabs both of my hands.

"Hey Kitten. It's nice to see you. Shitty circumstances though."

I nod.

"It's good to see you too. How is he?" I ask shakily.

He sighs deeply.

"He's awake finally. But uh, well…." He pauses and scratches the back of his head, a trademark Mellark move when they're nervous.

"What?" I ask and he takes a deep breath.

"He's been asking for you. Before he was even conscious really. The family has been in and out to see him, and Mom's been sleeping here. She said he asks for you when he's asleep too. Or more just seems to want to know if you're coming."

I swallow heavily.

"Sam, he hasn't seen me in years. Why….." I blink away the new tears starting to fall and choke on my words, shaking my head.

"I….. well I'm not sure. But he wants to see you as soon as he can." I nod at him and when he lets my hands go I wipe my palms on my jeans nervously before standing up. I make my way towards his door and look in.

He's been taking off the ventilator, that much I can tell. His head is turned in the direction of the window, and there's a large gash running down his cheek and onto his neck. The spot where his leg used to be is strangely empty under the sheet and both of his arms are heavily bandaged in areas. I stand there for a long moment before I begin to back away, making a run for the restroom before I begin to hyperventilate. I hear my friends calling my name but I ignore them and throw myself into the first stall I find to sit on the toilet seat and calm myself down. Or more accurately, have a full break down, as I begin to choke on sobs that I don't think will ever stop.

I'm not sure how long I sit there, crying my eyes out, before there is a quiet knock on the stall door. I lean forward to open the door without standing up and am more that surprised when I see Mrs. Mellark standing opposite me. She's never really cared for me, but she put up with me since Peeta and I were such close friends. She looks much older than I remember and the bags under her eyes indicate that "staying the night" with Peeta really means she's been holding a sleepless vigil.

"Katniss honey, I know this is hard but he really needs to see you."

I look up at her and wipe my eyes and nose with some toilet paper.

"I know Mrs. Mellark, I just….. it's been so long and he looks so…." I begin to sob again and she squeezes into the stall along side me, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I know. I know he does believe me. He's my baby and it hurts like hell, but he's alive. I hope you don't mind but he told me about the two of you and what happened." Sighing she chuckles but it doesn't hold a trace of humor.

"He may have gotten his ability to charm everyone and his mild manners from his father, but he got his incapability to be emotionally available from me I'm afraid. I know he should be the one telling you this, but I'm going to anyways."

I look up at her, my interest piqued.

"He has been in love with you since you were both children sweetie. But he always thought he wasn't good enough for you. You and I both know that's not the case but he thought that if you were with him you would never get out of this town and live the life you wanted. He didn't want you to regret him, and he was positive that is what would happen."

"He said that?" I ask in shock but she shakes her head no.

"No, but I know my son. He has been pining after you since the moment he met you. And when he finally had you for those few months he thought that would be it, and when you wanted more he was afraid all of his worst nightmares were coming true. I think he was resigned to living out his life here, alone, but then he almost died and now I think he's afraid he'll die without ever seeing you again."

I know her words are meant to reassure me, but instead I break down again, crying out in the same ugly sobs as before. She pulls me up and holds me to her, soothingly running her hands up and down my back.

"He, he can't die, he can't ever die." I find myself choking out, and she puts her hands on my face to look me in the eyes.

"Everyone dies. You know that better than anyone. But you could both live your lives denying yourselves happiness or you could give him another chance. I know he hurt you, and I know he'll probably never forgive himself, but if you put up a fight for him I think you would both be happier for it."

In the most words she has ever said to me in our long time of knowing each other, Mrs. Mellark has driven her point home. I nod at her numbly and she leads me down the hallway towards the room. She squeezes my hand and I turn to look at her once we've reached the door.

"We'll all be right out here alright?" I give her a weak smile and taking a deep breath, I open the door.

In between the time I looked in his door and ran into the bathroom to fall apart, he's fallen asleep. I make my way over the side of his bed and sit in the chair next to him quietly, taking in his various injuries. The burn mark on his cheek and neck are covered in some type of goo but don't look too awful. The bandages on his arm wrap around what I'm sure are more burns. His face looks peaceful, which I'm sure is due to the morphine drip running in his veins. Trembling I reach forward and brush some of his blonde hair out his eyes while he sleeps, my fingertips ghosting over his eyebrows. I can feel tears beginning to run down my cheek again but this time it's a silent cry. He looks so broken, and seeing him like this makes the reality that he could have died really hit me.

"Oh Peeta." I hear myself whisper. He doesn't move from his sleep and taking a deep breath I decide to finally let it all out, knowing he won't be able to hear me.

"You crazy stupid boy. Your mom and I had a talk, which is surprising enough in itself, but she said some things I really wish you had told me a few years ago. Is that why when I finally told you I loved you, when I was moving to DC, you left without saying anything? God Peeta, I know you've always been a good guy but I wish you had been selfish and had told me you loved me or had even just asked me to stay. I'm fairly miserable without you and if you had died I wouldn't have been able to go on living the life you so desperately wanted me to live. What would have been the point if you weren't alive to live it with me?"

He sighs in his sleep causing me to immediately stop talking, my heart thudding in my chest. Laying my head down near his shoulder I listen to his breathing, my hand lying on his chest after I check to make sure there are no bandages where I have placed it. Exhaustion must finally take over and the last thing I hear before I slip into unconsciousness comes from his lips, as he mumbles my name in his sleep.

I come to sometime later, voices talking in the adjoining hospital suite quietly. I don't open my eyes or even move, and I feel slightly guilty for wanting to eavesdrop but I do anyways. I've been lain out on a cot in the next room for family members of ICU patients and I can hear Peeta, his mother, and Gale's voices.

"Peet I get why you may be mad at your mom for telling Katniss, but were you ever going to?" Gale hisses and I feel my heart begin to beat more rapidly. He must have heard what I said to him. Or his mom told him. Hopefully his mom told him and he didn't hear me.

"No of course not. I can't offer her anything and she's stubborn as hell so the best thing was to just bow out and let her hate me." I hear him say defensively. I almost sit up but his mothers voice breaks into the silence that has settled around the room.

"Except she doesn't hate you Peeta. She loves you. She couldn't even come in here because she was a wreck at the thought of losing you, and I doubt that girl has it in her to ever hate you. She's probably loved you as long as you have her and what's not fair is that you never even gave her a chance." Her voice has an edge to it, the one that used to scare the shit out of us when we were kids and had literally been caught with our hands in the cookie jar right before dinner. I feel my lips quirk up slightly.

"Dude, she's been trying the best she can for the past few years, but I see it. I know her like the back of my hand, and she probably thinks I don't notice but I do." Gale sighs quietly and I think I can hear him sit down in a chair.

"Notice what Gale?" Peeta's mom asks while Peeta himself remains quiet.

"How every time some blonde guy that has your build walks by she can't help but look. It's like she's hoping you are just going to show up or something. She'll get this weird glazed look in her eyes and be quiet for the next few days and it's fucking sad. And she has these nightmares about when her dad died that she doesn't know Jo and I know about but when we go in to wake her up she always thinks one of us is you. It's not fair of you to just fucking decide for her that you aren't what she deserves. To be honest I think you've treated her like a piece of shit and I don't think you're what she deserves at all, but you're what she fucking wants apparently. So stop being a dick."

I hear Peeta's mom chuckle darkly.

"He's right son. I won't use quite the same vernacular, but in trying to do what you thought was the right thing you've really hurt the one girl you've ever loved. I don't know if it can be fixed but instead of doing what you and I do best and pushing away someone who loves you, why can't you at least have the decency to tell her how you feel about her? You could have died son, and I think a part of her would have died right along with you."

The entire room falls silent and I hear the door shut. I assume both Gale and Mrs. Mellark have left the room and I let myself lay on the cot for a while longer. How fucking obvious has it been to everyone these past however many years that I was head over heels for him? How did he not realize it? I sigh running my hands over my face and his voice jars me from making any more movements.

"Katniss I know you're awake. Stop hiding and come out." My head jerks in the direction of the room and I slowly get up, working the kinks out of my neck and back from what was a fitful sleep at best. Rising I walk to the door and stop at the entrance, looking at him.

He's sitting up in bed, his bandages freshly changed and his hair washed, tucked behind his ears.

"Hey stranger." He finally says and I furrow my eyebrows before silently walking over to the chair I fell asleep in last night.

When I sit down he clears his throat.

"How much of that did you hear?"

I shrug at him and play with the end of my braid. He sighs.

"Look Katniss, I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what exactly Peeta?" I don't want to have this conversation now while he is sitting in a hospital bed but I guess it's happening anyways.

"Sorry that you had to hear that I guess. Sorry you had to worry yourself over me." It's all he says before he looks away from me, and I feel myself get angry, and I know it's completely rational at least this once.

"Are you fucking serious Peeta? You almost died, I actually thought you might be dead by the time we got here and you apologize for me worrying about that? What the fuck is wrong with you? Why can't you just say something worth saying instead of always just saying meaningless shit that you think will spare my feelings? I haven't seen you in two years because I have been trying to get over someone I never had, and it hasn't fucking worked. Are you really so hard headed and so fucking goddamn sure that you aren't worth the world to me that you are convinced this is what's for the best?"

I'm yelling at him so loudly that a nurse rushes in, but he dismisses her with a tiny wave. She eyes me over, and I flash a steely gaze until she backs out of the room timidly.

"Katniss I…"

I hold up a hand and he stops speaking abruptly.

"No. Stop fucking talking. Unless you are finally going to tell me what I've been waiting to hear you say since we were practically children I don't want to hear it. I have tried Peeta. I have tried to not be in love with you, to not think about you, and it doesn't fucking work. I'm living a life that should be fulfilling but it's not because guess what shithead? You aren't a part of it. Is it me? Am I not enough? Do you not want me? Please just tell me the goddamn truth: either you love me and want me or you don't love me. No more of this "we are just friends" and "I am not good enough I'll just hold you back" bullshit. Just fucking tell me something that isn't fake, something that's real. Please."

At this point I'm whimpering and he looks like I just told him they are going to take his other leg. I want to take his face in my hands and soothe him, but not as much as I want to kick him or punch him. After a few long minutes of silence I sigh, and feel myself begin to tear up again.

"Goddamn it Peeta Mellark. Every time. You break my heart every single time."

I get up to leave the room when he finally speaks.

"Katniss. Don't…. don't leave." I turn around to face him.

"Why Peeta? Give me a reason."

He searches my face for a long moment before he speaks again.

"Because I love you. That's why. Are you fucking happy now? I finally said it. The one thing I have tried to not say for basically my entire life. I love you, there isn't anyone I want besides you, and you aren't mine to have." He lays his head back on his pillow, making sure to not look at me. I stand stunned for a few moments before I cautiously make my way back over to his bed.

"Why do you think I am not yours? That I don't want to be?"

Without looking at me, his eyes focused on the ceiling he sighs.

"Because you are perfect. I'm a fucked up guy who probably peaked in high school. What can I offer you that someone else can't? Don't you get that you would be so much better off without me? You could have a perfect life. I've done the right thing by letting you go."

"Peeta you look at me right now." I snap and he does, his eyes wide as saucers. I know I look absolutely livid, and it's because I am.

"This isn't some book or movie or goddamn statue in a garden, where you are being the self sacrificing hero of the story. This is a story where you are being selfish because you are afraid you might get hurt. You can't say it's because you're afraid of hurting me because you have done that over and over again but I still keep this fucking piece of hope alive that one day you'll wake the fuck up and realize that life isn't perfect, but it could be close for us if you would just get the hell over yourself."

His mouth drops open and he sits in silence for a moment before he says anything again.

"And what now? What now Katniss? I'm a gimp with a burnt down business, and you live in Washington DC doing something good for the world. What do you expect out of this?" His eyes are full of fire, but his resolve is finally, blessedly breaking. I take a chance and gingerly climb onto his bed, on his side, putting my hands on the side of his face. His eyes close for a brief moment.

"Now? Peeta I can do my job from here. Fuck, you could do your job from DC if you wanted. The insurance money means you'll have your business back eventually and I don't ever want to hear you call yourself a gimp again. Men and women across this world lose limbs every day and they go on to live happy and fulfilled lives as long as they choose to not focus on what they've lost. You will get a prosthetic and learn to walk again, hell you could learn to run again if you wanted. And if you will get over yourself I will be here to help you. That's all I want. Just please stop pushing me away. If you do once more I won't come back. It won't be because I won't love you anymore, but it will be because I can't continually have my soul crushed by you, do you fucking understand?"

He nods for a long moment, before turning his face to kiss my palm.

"Okay Katniss. Okay."