AN: Hi everyone! Sorry for the wait for this chapter. Between working three jobs and school, I hardly have time to write. So again, sorry for the delay but I wanted to make sure this chapter was just the way I wanted it. I hope you guys enjoy it! Reviews are love!
"I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see. I sought my God, but my God eluded me. I sought my brother, and in them I found all three."
Dean paced back and forced anxiously, his watchful gaze never leaving Sam's pallid face. Sam's breathing hitched and broke as he slept; worry gnawing at Dean as he watched.
He couldn't shake this nagging feeling that something wrong; not just with Sam but with the case in Albany. Dean's scratched at the mark absently, his thoughts scattered.
The mark had left Dean anxious and tense, not allowing him a moments rest. He hadn't slept in over three days; and it had set Dean over the edge.
But Sam was sick, something was wrong with him. Dean would stow his own crap until Sam was better or until he could fix all of this.
He just had to deal, he could do that for Sam. But he was going to need some angelic assistance, and Cas was the only game in town.
Cas hadn't been answering Dean's prayers all morning, which had bothered Dean more than he was willing to admit.
He hardly asked anything of Cas, and when he needed him most he was nowhere to be found.
No fallen angel would respond to his call; not that Dean would want one of them to. Not after what happened with Gad-
No.
Dean pushed the thought from his mind, trying to calm the burning fury that raged through him.
Dean's heart thundered in his ears as he struggled to keep him emotions at bay.
Thud
Thud
Thud
Each heartbeat louder than that last.
He couldn't help the anger that consumed him. The rage seemed to be a constant, always there in the background, lying dormant until something irritated Dean.
The Mark left a sort of feeling that Dean couldn't shake. It was a constant hum in the back of Dean's mind; one he couldn't turn off.
Pulsating like a live wire, the thrum never ceased within Dean. And he wished it would just stop.
Dean wanted the Mark gone; but needed the rush that came along when the blade and mark were joined as one.
Like a junkie who was jonesing for his next hit, he needed the mark.
Dean placed a hand over the Mark, letting his fingers trail over the raised edges, as if covering it would make it disappear.
But it didn't, it only faded for a moment. Just long enough for Dean to think clearly.
The anger ebbed from his mind leaving him empty, almost hollow.
Dean turned on his heels stepping out into the night.
The cool night air greeted him, soothing his nerves as his breath came out in small tufts.
Dean closed his eyes, tilting his head back slightly letting the night wash over him.
Droplets pelted Dean's face softly as he glanced up at the cloudy night.
He paused, inhaling sharply through his nose.
Dammit Cas you better answer. Dean thought the words with almost a threatening edge to his thoughts.
"Cas get your feathery ass down here. We've got a problem. "
The freezing rain trickled down Deans face , saturating his hair and clothes.
Seconds passed; and a rustling of wings echoed mutely in Dean's ears.
"Dean." Cas said, his tone pressing with urgency.
Deans eyes flickered open, his gaze met by a pair of dark blue eyes.
"Cas, what the hell? I been screaming myself hoarse over here all night."
"I heard you. What is it you need, Dean?" Cas uttered briskly, his voice cold.
Dean recoiled at the unexpected hostility.
"What the hell's your problem, Cas?" Dean snapped, irritation seeping into his voice. He'd had enough of Cas' crap.
"Dean-" Cas began, turning away from Dean to look out the motel window.
"Hey" Dean said, grabbing Cas' shoulder; turning him to face him. "Talk to me. You've been gone for weeks. You want to explain to me where the hell you've been?" Dean said his tone sharp.
He couldn't help it, Cas had gone MIA after he'd stopped by the bunker a few weeks ago. He had healed Sam of his wounds, and left without so much as a parting goodbye.
Dean had felt slightly irritated at the angels sudden departure, and wanted answers. He'd be damned if he let Cas skip out on them again.
He was already on edge; the slightest thing setting him off. It was starting to be a lot harder for him to choke down the emotions.
Cas shook his head, his eyes narrowing as he glanced back at Dean.
"It's hell on earth for Angels, Dean. Much has happened since I've seen you last. There's been much turmoil between my brothers and sisters; factions fighting other factions. It's chaos." Cas sighed, his forehead furrowing.
"I've banned with a few factions, brought them together, Dean. I think I can set an example for all of them." Cas' said, a dozen emotions flitting across his face.
"What are you trying to do? Lead them?" Dean grunted, his tone colored with surprise. "You've been down that road before, Cas. And we both know how it ends-"
"They're slaughtering each other, Dean." Cas said angrily, cutting Dean off. His eyes retained a sort of misery Dean couldn't place.
"I won't allow it, Dean, not anymore." Cas snapped, his hands in fists at his side. His shoulders were rigid as he stood facing Dean.
"If I can stop what they're doing to each other, then maybe my fallen brothers and sisters can get a second chance as I had intended before the fall." Cas said his tone softer now. He casted his eyes downwards, avoiding Dean's gaze.
There was a beat of silence as Castiel struggled to regain his composure.
"I've organized a sort of headquarters, where the factions lie under my command. It effective Dean. More effective than I could have hoped. Angels need something to follow; someone to believe in. I was foolish to not see that before." Cas murmured aloud, more to himself than to Dean.
"And you think you handle an operation like that? I mean, not for nothing Cas, but half the angels were or probably are still working for Metatron. Deep down, you gotta know that. You have to expect that some of them are playing you." Dean said, his voice pleading now.
Dean knew that Cas had the best of intentions; he always did. But sometimes things went sideways, and it was up to the Winchesters to clean his mess up.
"I know what I'm doing, there is no tolerance for such deceit amongst new recruits. I'm no leader, but I will lead if it means redemption for the atrocities I have committed." Cas said his shoulders heavy with shame.
"Just be careful, Cas."
"As always. Now what's wrong Dean? You wouldn't call for me if it wasn't important."
"It's Sam." Dean said, almost choking on the words as he spoke them aloud.
He glanced over at his little brother, a twinge of worry curling in the pit of his stomach.
If Dean wasn't so worried, he would have smiled.
After all these years; after everything that's happened between the both of them.
It was always about Sam. And it would always will be.
Dean would protect his little brother, his kid, until his last fucking breath.
"He's been having these..visions." he said the last word begrudgingly, spitting it out between his teeth. "I think something's wrong with Sam."
Cas reached over, placing his hand over Sam's chest. A strong wave of dejá vu overwhelmed Dean as he watched Cas.
It was almost the same thing Gadreel had done, back in that hospital. Though Gadreel's intention had not been pure. They had been muddied with dark ideas and actions.
Sam's finger's twitched, though his body remained still as he slept. The pain meds kept the kid out cold.
Sam had always been such a lightweight, Dean thought with affection.
Castiels head tilted as he concentrated on Sam. He frowned, his expression making Dean anxious.
Cas stiffened, as he watched something Dean couldn't see.
"What? What is it, Cas?" he said, wishing the angel would snap out of it. He needed to know what was wrong.
Cas paused, lifting his hand from Sam's chest. He flexed his wrist, and set it down hastily.
"Well?" Dean snapped unintentionally. He clenched his jaw, his patience was running thin and he was fucking done.
"It seems that..Sam's body is slowly digressing back to it original state. Before Gadreel possessed him." Cas said slowly, his expression pained as he glanced up Dean.
"What does that mean?" Dean said through his teeth.
"His body, the damage is worse than when I saw him last." Cas said glancing back at Sam. "When I said he was damaged in way that even I couldn't heal, I meant it. His body is deteriorating, at a progressive rate."
Dean blinked, feeling his anger fade as worry took its place.
Dean shook his head in denial, not accepting the angels words.
No fucking way.
Sam wasn't going to die, not because of some stupid trial bullshit.
"Isn't there something we can do? A spell, a deal, something that could help?" Dean said a hard edge to his voice. Something that would stop this from happening to Sam. Anything that would give him more time.
Because that's exactly what the Winchester's did.
If one of them was dying, the other was dealing. An endless cycle of trading one life for the other.
But it was what Dean did. He had two jobs in this world being a hunter and watching out for Sam; always.
They were two parts of a whole; soulmates in every sense of the word.
He'd be damned if he let anything happen to Sam.
He couldn't fail Sam. He wouldn't.
Not again.
"No" Dean growled, anger swelling within him. No one was going to take Sam away from him.
Gadreel was as good as dead. Dean was going kill the son of a bitch first chance he got.
That was the angels first mistake; no one fucks with Sam.
And no one was going to to take his kid away.
"But I thought you'd already healed Sam back at the bunker?" Dean said, his eyes flitting anxiously to Sam's face. Sam's skin was an ashy white, all color leeched from his features.
There was a beat of silence; the only audible sound was the ragged breath that rattled in Sam's chest.
"It's my..stolen grace. It...weakens me. I'm not a full strength with it, but I'm entirely human without it. I used much of my grace to attempt to heal Sam before."
"Well clearly it didn't take." Dean snapped, washing a hand down his face.
"How long has he been in this state?" Cas said, his bright blue eyes fixed on Sam's face.
Dean racked his brain, a surge of guilt raining over him. He couldn't remember the last time Sam had looked alright; looked healthy.
"Ever since the first trial, a few months at least." Dean murmured quietly.
"I see."
"What the hell does that mean?" Dean said brusquely.
"Dean-"
"Spit it out, Cas."
Cas took a deep breath. "At this progressive rate, he won't have more than a few months Dean." Castiel said his voice pained.
Months? No, no, no no. This wasn't fucking happening.
Dean shook his head, a cold sense of dread seeping through him.
"What will you tell him? He must know Dean." Castiel murmured quietly, his brow furrowed in concentration as he held his hand over Sam's chest once more.
"I'm not going to let him think he's going to die. Nothing's going to happen to him, alright?"
Cas sighed. "Dean."
"Don't Dean me, Cas. Find something. There's gotta be some angelic super spell that can heal him. Fix him."
Sam wasn't going to die on Dean, not his kid. No fucking way.
Dean would endure hell a hundred times over if it meant Sam was safe, happy even.
Dean's happy ending didn't exist unless Sam was apart of it.
"Of course, Dean. Anything for the Winchesters." Cas said a slight sarcastic edge to his voice.
There was a muted sound of wings as Cas disappeared, a faint crinkling echoed throughout the room as papers fell to the floor.
The wind raged outside, rain pelting the windows furiously. A sharp crack of lightening flashed, followed by a clap of thunder.
Sam gasped, sitting upright in the bed, clutching his side. His bewildered green eyes searched the room until they meant Dean's gaze.
"Hey" Dean said softly, going to Sam's side. "Take it easy, you okay?"
Sam breathed heavily, his eyes squinting in pain.
Sam's temples throbbed painfully as he glanced up at his brother. The meds had worn off, leaving him with a raging migraine.
His chest felt heavy, every breath feeling more labored than the last.
"Sam?" Dean called, trying to get Sam's attention. He needed Sam to speak, to hear his little brothers voice.
"Dean." Sam gasped, looking dazedly at Dean as he tried to stand.
Dean held his arms out for Sam, ready in case the kid fell.
"Talk to me, you alright?" Dean asked, his big brother instincts kicking in.
"Why are always asking me that?" Sam said, a fresh wave of irritation rushing over him. He didn't feel well, and Sam just wanted to get on the road.
Sam swallowed, a jolt of pain rolling through him. He didn't know why he was feeling like crap, and he hated it.
Sam blinked once more, glancing up at Dean.
"What are we still doing here? We have to get to Albany. What the hell, Dean?" Sam said.
"You're sick, Sam. You needed to rest." Dean said worry lacing his voice unintentionally.
Sam visibly swayed on his feet as he spoke, as if adding emphasis to his words.
"I'm fine, Dean." Sam said, anger brewing beneath his calm demeanor.
"No you're not, and you know it." Dean said, trying to remain calm. It was difficult enough to stay calm these days with the mark's effects.
"Why don't we just take it easy for a couple of days, huh? Couple of days of crap cable won't hurt." Dean said, crossing his arms over his chest.
"We have to keep going, Dean. Theres no time for any of this. People are dying, Dean. Once upon a time that used to mean something to you."
"Shut up Sam" Dean interrupted, though there was no heat behind him words.
Sam took a deep breath trying to steady himself.
"Saving people, hunting things. Last I checked that was something we still did." Sam said bitingly his green eyes rimmed with exhaustion. "Now I don't know about you, but I'm gonna hunt. And that includes whatever's going down in Albany."
Dean stood rigidly, his hands balled in fists at his sides. Sam's cold demeanor cut through Dean worse than he would have thought possible.
But he wouldn't let Sam know how much it bothered him.
Sam swayed once more on his feet, his skin paler than Dean would have liked.
Sam waved off Dean's offer to help steady him.
"I'm going to New York, with or without you." Sam said coldly, knowing Dean wouldn't let Sam take the case alone.
Dean was tethered to the kid. Wherever Sam went Dean would follow.
"Fine." Dean said through his teeth. "We'll leave first thing in the morning."
Dean's heart pounded in his ears, the steady drum of it drowning out everything else.
Sam spun on his heels, slamming the bathroom door behind him.
This case was going to be the death of him.
TBC