A/N: The older I get the more I disagree with a lot of the Third's decisions. He wasn't a terrible man, per se, but he really dropped the ball on several issues and they came back to bite him in the ass. Some of them can be chalked up to ninja culture, I suppose, but I am bitter about him letting the treatment Naruto got slide. You have children of your own Hiruzen! Do better.

Gai's nickname for Kotone is an old reference to way back when I first attempted to write Naruto. The whole thing is 'My shining moonflower in a field of darkness'. I couldn't begin to explain why it was so funny at the time but for some reason it's stuck.

Baby's Breath - Innocence, purity of heart

Chestnut - Do me justice

Takahiko was certain of several things in his life. That he was on track for his ultimate goal of ANBU at a fairly accelerated rate. That Kotone would claw her way up the ranks after him come hell or high water to prove wrong something he or Hatake or any number of innocuous ninja had said in passing during their Academy days; and that she would drag Kyoshiro and now Hakaze with her until one of them put their foot down and disagreed. He was also certain, wholly and irrevocably certain, that sleep had just found him seconds before he was being woken up.

"Psst," Kotone hissed- and it had to be Kotone prodding his face and hissing in his ear. Kyoshiro was too polite to enter a residence uninvited and Hakaze would have shouted him awake as soon as he opened the bedroom door. As Takahiko had no memory of hearing the front door or bedroom door open and Kotone was the only one who made a habit of sneaking in through windows, the kunoichi was the only remaining culprit. "Takahiko, wake up."

"No," Takahiko answered, his voice an uncharacteristic groan. Without opening his eyes the redhead turned his face away from the finger poking at him and buried it into the safety of his pillow. "Get out of my house."

He could hear the frown in her voice. Picture her expression perfectly- the one that made Kyoshiro do whatever she wanted- even with his face pressed into the dark confines of his pillow. "You're setting a terrible example for the baby."

The shinobi inhaled slowly, feeling his chances of finding sleep again slipping through his fingers. "You don't have a baby."

Kotone was quiet for several heartbeats, enough to put Takahiko on edge. Despite the fact that he had yet to open his eyes he could easily imagine the girl refusing to make eye contact, looking obviously to the side as if she suddenly found his decor interesting. "I do currently …have a baby."

The redheaded ninja exhaled the breath he had been holding, turning his face enough to crack open one eye and glower at his teammate. Kotone had settled herself on the floor beside his bed, leaving little more than the top half of her face visible. Over her shoulder, secured in some sort of harness he couldn't see, was the round toddler face of Uzumaki Naruto staring at him with wide bluebell eyes and his entire pudgy baby fist in his mouth.

Takahiko blinked. Naruto drooled onto Kotone's shoulder, content with trying to devour his own appendage. "You're not on baby watching rotation." He paused, trying to recall a list he had only seen in passing. "At all."

The girl's shoulders rose into view as she shrugged, hands rising to exaggerate the gesture. "Oops."

"Put him back."

Kotone recoiled, physically removing herself from the bedside as if he had reached out and smacked her. "No!"

Naruto startled- seemingly more by the shout that the movement, though the hand left his mouth to close around the older girl's shirt to steady himself. The toddler's already large eyes widened as he looked between the other two occupants of the bedroom. It was an expression that would have almost been comical if not for the rabidly rising tears filling and then falling from his eyes. The sound of a crying child stoked an unknown sort of terror inside Takahiko and the teenager attempted to sit upright, without moving off of his stomach. He succeeded only in cracking his back.

"Oh no," Kotone was careful to keep her voice even and soft- something that unnerved Takahiko nearly as much as the sound of a baby's cry in its unfamiliarity- as she gently lifted the toddler into her lap. "Oh no, I wasn't yelling at you, Naru-chan. It's okay, see?" She smiled big for the small blonde, bouncing him on her knee. "You're fine."

Slowly the boy accepted her words, realizing he wasn't in trouble, and the crying subsided. Though large, wet tears continued to slide down his cheeks for several minutes. Takahiko sighed, settling himself cross legged on the center of his bed and completely abandoning even pretending that he would get back to sleep.

"He startles easy," he mused as Kotone set the toddler on the floor to wander. In the back of his mind the shinobi cycled through of what he could remember before the sweet embrace of his bed; if there were any wayward weapons for Naruto to stumble upon. Barring the toddler chewing his way into Takahiko's flack jacket it should be fine.

"Of course," Kotone frowned, shooting him a particularly frosty glare. Much too frosty, Takahiko thought, when she had been the one to break into his apartment and wake him. "Have you seen the way he's treated?"

"No," Takahiko admitted with a casual sort of indifference. "I had assumed that the son of the Fourth Hokage would be exceptionally treated." As the words left him the redhead blinked, one of the Third's decrees returning to him. "Or, barring that knowledge, that this is a helpless child. I was also under the impression that most people liked children."

"Well you would be wrong," the kunoichi argued. "I've checked on him several times in the past few weeks in between missions and he's largely ignored at best ." Kotone threw her arms in the air to emphasize her point. "Babies need interaction Takahiko! Naruto is nearly two years old now. Did you know he should be speaking in short sentences? He barely knows his words."

"Are you-" Takahiko paused briefly as Naruto crawled under his bed and out of sight. "Are you reading baby care books?"

"Maybe," Kotone answered dismissively and Takahiko was reminded that since they, too, had made Chunin there was no one left to actively watch her as the old team was frequently separated. "But I'm not wrong. And he always seems hungry and half the time they let him run around without clothes. Speaking of," she paused in her rant, eyes quickly sweeping across his appearance. "Are you going to put on pants?"

"You broke into my room," he reminded her, expression remaining flat. "Finding me in my boxers was simply a risk you should have expected."

Kotone grinned in her own childish sort of way: one side tipping higher to turn the whole thing crooked, a flash of teeth. "I could make that dirty, you know."

"You will not." Takahiko stepped from the end of his bed. Tiny hands closed around his ankle the moment his foot touched tatami mat, followed shortly by a childish giggle that was perhaps unintentionally diabolic. The teenager lifted his leg straight out, the tiny blonde dangling from his ankle with a surprisingly solid grip. Naruto's giggles turned to proper laughter and he kicked his legs. Takahiko turned, leg still out, until Naruto was dangling above the bed. The teenager gave his leg a solid shake, dropping the toddler squarely in the center of the mattress, before continuing to his dresser. Naruto rolled across the bed and blew a raspberry.

The redhead opened a drawer, pulled out a pair of uniform pants, and stepped inside. "If we could return to our earlier conversation? You're sixteen, Kotone. You can't care for a child. Once you lived on fried tofu and miso soup for a week."

"Actually it was miso flavored potato chips and I don't want to be a mother," Kotone insisted and for once Takahiko believed her. "But Naruto doesn't deserve any of this. I might not be able to take care of him but he should have a time where the people around him aren't hostile or ignoring him."

"By kidnapping him," Takahiko's response was muffled as he pulled on a shirt.

Kotone frowned. "It's not like I had time to plan."

"And you're supposed to be a ninja." There was no hostility to his voice, just the resigned sort of acceptance that he had acquired through years of association with the girl. "Now, what did you wake me up for?"

"To make you an accomplice," Kotone answered, completely straight faced. "Now you're involved."

Takahiko ran a hand through his hair, searching for his hitai-ate. He found it on the floor near his bedroom door and silently cursed his past, sleep deprived self for nearly misplacing important items. "I could still turn you in. Now I say again, why did you wake me up?"

The kunoichi stood, picking up the toddler from the bed, tucking him against her side and balancing him carefully on her hip. "Naruto and I are getting lunch before I lobby the Third for proper child care and eating alone is sad."

"Kyoshiro-"

"Has 'kitten duty' today. Something about them needing proper socialization."

"Hakaze-"

"Is starting to shadow the Medic-nin at the hospital today and I really expected that you would remember that. It seems important."

It was Takahiko's turn to frown, the action exaggerating the natural deadpan of his expression. "You need more friends."

Kotone scoffed, waving her free hand. "Like you have so many."

"I am not reliant on others for basic human needs," the shinobi opened the door to his bedroom, giving an exaggerated bow that was entirely at odds with his face. "We won't be taking the window, thank you."

Naruto stuffed gyoza into his mouth with the abandon usually reserved for Kotone perusing the food stalls at festivals. Takahiko was both impressed this could be accomplished at such a young age and mildly terrified for the future.

"Is he-" Takahiko gestured to the toddler with his chopsticks, still unsure which feeling should be winning out. "Is he chewing?"

Kotone paused mid-chew, cheeks equally as stuffed with rice and fried tofu. She swallowed a mouthful that would choke a normal person before looking down at the blonde in his toddler seat. "Naru-chan, you don't have to rush. You can have more."

Naruto stopped trying to shove the third gyoza into his already full mouth. He stared with those wide blue eyes of his, as if he couldn't understand the words. He tried to speak around the food and Takahiko was- horribly, terribly- becoming more certain of Kotone's kidnapping plan. "More?"

"Yup!" Kotone beamed, tipping her bowl slightly to dump rice into Naruto's dwindling plate. "As much as you want."

Naruto grinned in return, lost a dumpling, and scrambled to catch it before it fell from his lap.

"Ah, my shining moonflower!" A boisterous voice broke through the conversation and the two shinobi turned to find the self-proclaimed Beast of Konoha dragging a chair over to their table to join them. Gai smiled in that abnormally large, exceedingly friendly way only he could manage, the lights catching the rapidly dissipating sweat from his face and making it seem as if he could sparkle. "I thought I heard your dulcet tones."

"Gai!" Kotone greeted with equal exuberance, holding up her arms as if cheering for the return of a long-gone comrade. "Finished your morning training?"

"Of course!" Gai gave the table a thumbs up as he dropped into his chair. The green-clad ninja paused before he could begin explaining his routine, noticing the toddler for the first time. "Ah, the infamous young Uzumaki." He leaned down enough to put himself at eye level with Naruto from across the table. "A healthy appetite is the pinnacle of Youth, young man!"

Unsure of what to do, Naruto reached across the table and stuck one of the few remaining gyoza into Gai's mouth. Takahiko sighed, pouring himself another cup of tea as the Taijutsu enthusiast became visibly emotional.

"There, there." Kotone gently rubbed Gai's back as he sobbed openly. "Why don't you have lunch with us?"

Takahiko scooted the napkin dispenser over to the crying teenager before taking a long drink from his teacup. Gai grabbed several napkins and blew his nose loudly before he sat upright again, dabbing at his eyes. Once his emotions were properly under control Gai reached out and clapped the redhead on the back with vigor. "You're a good man, Kira."

It took more effort than Takahiko cared to admit to not cough into his tea, which was sadly being sloshed across the table.

"Tell me, my shining moonflower," Gai continued, unaware of Takahiko's discomfort but thankfully no longer pounding on his back. "How did young Uzumaki end up in your care?"

"She stole him," Takahiko answered, mopping up the spilled tea. Naruto slammed an open hand into the puddle, splashing Takahiko in the face.

"I stole him," Kotone agreed with ease.

"More!" cheered Naruto.

"I see." To his credit Gai took the news in stride, his large smile not even faltering. Instead he turned, flagging down a waitress to order curry udon for both him and Naruto.

From under the table Kotone's leg shot out, kicking her former teammate in the shin. "See? Gai didn't spend twenty minutes questioning me."

"Gai is the most accepting person in Konoha-"

"Why thank you!" Gai clapped the redhead on the back again and Takahiko nearly dropped his cup.

"And," he continued, setting the cup on the table and wholly giving up on drinking tea, "As far as he's concerned you've done nothing wrong in your life."

Kotone propped her chin up with the palm of her hand, watching the redhead from across the table. "You say that like it's not true."

Takahiko stared back, not flinching away from the eye contact and looking much more tired than when he had first been woken up. "I'm leaving."

"Aww," the kunoichi teased as Takahiko stood. "You're no fun."

"And I never will be," he responded, turning to Gai as he passed. "Don't let her keep Naruto past lunch."

"Of course," Gai agreed. Takahiko scrutinized the people at the table long enough to question the reliability of his choices, then decided that this would be his only chance to go back to bed if he lingered. Once Takahiko had wandered from the restaurant Gai turned, smiling a wise sparkling smile at Kotone. "I said you couldn't keep him past lunch but what if I took custody of him and we ventured off to the park?"

"Gai," Kotone returned the grin, showing teeth in a way that spelled trouble. "Sometimes I think you might be my soulmate."

"Ah, moonflower, if only one day I could be so worthy of you."

"Ptttbh," added Naruto, though it was unclear if that was his view on the conversation or the freshly arrived curry udon.

The sun was beginning to set by the time Kotone brought Naruto to the Hokage's office. The toddler had kept up with Gai's breakneck pace for longer than Kotone had thought possible; right up until Naruto had tipped backward out of the swing and landed face first in the gravel. Gai had screamed loud enough to startle the birds from the trees and Naruto had laughed.

Kotone shifted the blonde on her hip, carefully pressing the band-aid on his forehead to make sure it didn't peel off. Naruto yawned and buried his face in her shoulder.

"Alright, buddy," the kunoichi said, straightening her shoulders. "Let's see what we can do about this."

As soon as Kotone stepped foot into the building a harried looking woman appeared to carry Naruto off. The teenager recognized her as the woman she had stolen Naruto from earlier that day. She shot Kotone a very sour look, leaving the shinobi to hope she had been told off for her negligence, but Naruto waved sleepily as he disappeared back out the door. Kotone waved back, turning physically around to watch until child and reluctant caretaker disappeared from sight.

"Good evening, Serizawa-chan." The Third Hokage spoke in a manner that reminded Kotone of how she imagined a grandfather would: familiar enough with a child's antics to expect them but tired and ready to return said children to their parents.

As she turned to face the village leader Kotone wasn't sure if she should be aggravated or impressed that a man his age was still so silent. "Good evening, Hokage-sama. I was hoping to speak with you."

Hiruzen smiled in a way that said he had been expecting as much. "I was afraid you were going to say that."

"Well," the teenager responded without missing a beat, "I have been known for bad news on several occasions. I'm finally starting to step into the role proper."

"Tell me what's on your mind."

"I'm worried about Naruto," she answered as the two of them began to walk back to the Hokage's office. "He's at a very important age, development wise, and I just don't think he's getting the attention he needs."

The Hokage nodded in a way that showed he was listening. Kotone had to wonder if he was simply placating her or if he would take this matter seriously. He had been the one to decide Naruto's care initially; but surely he hadn't expected this.

"It's not like I just decided to run off with him," the kunoichi continued, wishing she had spent more time considering what to say. "I've stopped by before on my way back from missions and-"

"I can assure you," the Third Hokage held up a hand before reaching out to open the door to his office. "Kurosabe-san has been given a stern warning and the rest of the rotation are being reviewed. If you have other concerns we can take note of them."

"Reviewed? Well how long is that going to-" Kotone paused two steps before entering the office, eyes narrowing in belated realization. "I'm sorry, warning? She frequently ignores a two year old and she gets a warning? Don't you have children? Where is your compassion?"

"Serizawa-chan." There is a warning edge to his voice, she can sense it as surely as she can feel her grasp on rationality sliding away under the weight of her emotions. It's unprofessional, more than a little rude, and Kotone isn't sure that she cared. "You are correct that this behavior is wrong but it is also an unfortunate circumstance that nearly every shinobi Chunin level and above was active that night and is aware of what became of Naruto-kun."

"Then they should have more respect for a hero's son!" Kotone threw an arm out, gesturing out the window where the Hokage monument was being shrouded in the dark of the approaching night. "Or let a civilian nanny care for him, they'll only see a child!"

The Hokage sighed. It was clear this was an argument he'd had before; it showed as an additional weight on his shoulders and the thin line of his mouth. "A civilian would be woefully under prepared if the Kyubi-"

Kotone stomped her foot, even knowing it made her look like a petulant child. "Naruto isn't the Kyubi! The only thing he did that night was be born. Why should he be punished for it?"

"I can see this is very important to you."

The girl swallowed her retort, wrestled with her anger as if it were a physical enemy. Why isn't it important to you? The unspoken words burned and the physical effort it took Kotone to subdue her temper would have made Takahiko sneer.

She took a steadying breath before speaking, "With all due respect Hokage-sama, this is a very important time in a child's development."

The Third Hokage arched an eyebrow in silent question.

"I…" Kotone dropped her gaze to her feet, "Might have been reading baby care books recently."

"Very important to you," Hiruzen amended, the ghost of amused laughter in his words. "Am I correct in assuming that you're not suggesting I put Naruto-kun in your care?"

"Yes," the kunoichi nodded slowly. "I'm aware that I'm not in any position to care for a child completely."

"Then what would you suggest?"

Kotone blinked owlishly, moving her line of sight from her feet to the older man. "What do I suggest?"

"I would like to hear your opinions, as you've been so vocal about them already." There was no hostility in his voice, no condemnation, but Kotone felt her ears burn. She didn't, however, regret.

"Well, I think a review is a good idea." Kotone began, speaking slowly as she decided her points. "But Kurosabe...san should be removed as soon as possible. I would imagine she's holding a grudge from that night and she won't ever see Naruto as a child."

Hiruzen nodded, adjusting a stack of files on his desk. "I had hoped putting her in charge of Naruto-kun would allow her to realize that he was a generally normal toddler. I can see now that I was incorrect."

'Wrong,' the girl thought, toying absently with the end of her ponytail. 'You were wrong. Incorrect assigns less blame.'

"And," the Hokage continued, drawing the teenager's attention, "would it be correct to assume that even with a staff rotation that you still may see fit to steal Naruto-kun on occasion?"

"I...thought about it," Kotone admitted. "We had fun. He really seemed to enjoy it."

The Third Hokage hummed in thought. "Perhaps preventative measures should be put in place."

"Oh."

"Unless otherwise occupied with your duties as a Leaf shinobi, Serizawa-chan, why don't you take Naruto-kun out for an afternoon every other week or so?"

"Oh!"