Disclaimer: I do not own DA:O or any of its characters.
A/N: We get to see a bit of a softer side of Elissa in this chapter...But she's still cheeky as hell.
Midnight Snack
The art of sneaking is a fine one indeed. My stomach wakes me in the wee hours of the morning. I pull on a sleeping gown and creep out of my room. I hate the way the linen chafes against my skin, but I'll have to put up with it while sleeping in the palace. I may be immodest, but I'm not stupid, and walking around the palace late at night in a state of undress would probably lead to nothing but trouble. So chafing linens will have to be tolerated. I wander the halls for what seems like an eternity.
Damn it, I'm lost.
Looks like I'll have to ask a guard for directions. I see a young sentry stationed near the main hall entrance. I pad over to him, my bare feet slapping against the cold concrete floor.
"'Scuse me," I address the guard. "Where's the kitchen? I'm famished."
"Servants are not to enter the larder outside of designated meal preparation times," the guard replies in a bored voice.
"Riiight," comes my reply. "But let's say I was someone important, like the king, where would I find the larder?"
The guard gives me an incredulous look. "How could you be the king? You're a woman."
"I see nothing gets by you. Clearly you're destined for something far greater than a simple royal guard," I wrinkle my nose. "Now kindly direct me to the kitchen."
"How dare you address your betters with such disrespect?!" the guard sputters.
I roll my eyes and turn on my heel. "Oh sod it, I'll find the bloody kitchen myself."
It takes a bit of time, but I eventually find myself in the kitchen. Much to my dismay, the larder is locked. Always come prepared, is my motto. I reach into my hair and extract one of the pins that holds it up. I deftly pick the lock and let loose a cry of victory. I search the contents of the larder, momentarily awed by the sheer volume of food. My eyes settle on something I'd been craving since my arrival in Ferelden. Something that I always wanted but could never find.
"Orlesian cheddar," I murmur reverently. My gaze darts over my shoulder to ensure that I'm alone. Without further ado I grab the slab of cheese and several rolls of bread. There are several bottles of wine lined against one wall and I grab the least expensive vintage. I don't want to push my luck after all. I spread my feast out on the kitchen table and find a small cheese knife. I begin slicing into the fine cheddar. I drop the first piece into my mouth and chew slowly, savouring every bit. I pay no mind to the mewling sounds that I'm making while I eat.
"You know, I once sentenced a man to death for stealing my cheese," comes a voice from behind me.
Uh oh, busted. I plaster on a grin and turn, cheeks puffed up and full of cheese. "Mmf mmrf?"
"That's what he said, actually." The king is leaning against the doorframe, smiling widely. "I take it you found what you're looking for?" He cocks an eyebrow, arms folded over his broad chest.
I take a sip of wine and swallow my mouthful of cheddar. "Sorry about that, your majesty. I was simply starving and…well when I saw the Orlesian cheddar, I just couldn't resist. I take it the guard ratted me out?"
"Please, call me Alistair. All of that "your majesty" stuff drives me insane. And yes, a rather disgruntled guard woke me and informed me that a crass and scantily clad serving wench was attempting to break into the larder. I figured that it had to be you," he says.
I look down at my nightgown and snort. "I am not scantily clad. At least I had the decency to put on some clothes before venturing down here." I grin when his ears turn a delicious shade of pink. Oh how I love to embarrass noblemen.
Alistair clears his throat. "Yes, well, I set him straight and told him that you're my guest as well as the Teyrna of Highever. He was quite apologetic. I do believe he's waiting outside of your quarters for a chance to grovel at your feet."
"Oh, Maker's breath, are you serious? I think I'll stay in the larder for the duration of the night then," I glance down at my midnight snack and then return my gaze to Alistair. "Would you care to join me in the meantime? I figure we ought to become acquainted with one another if we're to work closely together at court."
His easy smile returns. He's quite handsome actually. A bit more rugged than his half brother from what I recall. "I'd love to," he replies. He takes a seat across from me and I offer him a generous slice of cheese. "So I take it you're a fellow cheese aficionado?" he asks playfully.
"Oh yes," I say. "Aedan teased me mercilessly when we were children. He told me all the cheese I ate would go straight to my hips. He didn't share in my obsession, apparently."
He points to my facial tattoo. "Any reason you saw fit to mark yourself as casteless?"
"Kind of my own personal joke. Got it when I was staying in Orzammar and heard about…well about Aedan passing on."
"I think I understand," Alistair replies sombrely. "To be honest, I felt the same way when he died. He was like a brother to me and - I'm sorry, I shouldn't be bringing this up. It must be very painful for you, my lady."
"It's Elissa, and no. I would like to hear about his travels as a Grey Warden actually. That part of his life is lost to me, and any memories you could share…well I would love to hear about them." Why am I opening up to this man? I hardly know him, and he's the king of all things.
"Well, there was this one time, you may actually be able to relate considering you were staying at the Pearl. We went there - and no, before you say anything, it wasn't for that reason. We went because we'd heard there was a master duelist, and Aedan was bent on learning the skill. This was before we met up with Zevran, who probably would have made things a lot easier, considering he was actually friends with the duelist in question. So Aedan asks the duelist if she'll teach him, and she says the only way is by besting her at a game of cards. Aedan was horrible at cards however, so she says she'll teach him for a more personal favour-"
I nearly choke on my wine. "You're Ser Lance-A-Lot?!"
His eyes widen. "Ser what?!"
I can't contain my laughter any longer. "When-when Isabela had said she'd bedded a Grey Warden, I never thought---I never thought---" I'm doubled over in hysterics.
"Hey! Did I say it was me?! It could have very well been your brother that slept with her!" he says indignantly.
I manage to pull myself together and say between giggles, "no way, your majesty. That's one thing Aedan and I had in common. We only sleep with men." I wipe away the tears of laughter that have begun rolling down my cheeks. "She still goes on about you, you know. I of course heard about it months after the fact, but to this day she speaks wistfully of her night with the mighty Grey Warden, Ser Lance-A-Lot."
Alistair is grinning, despite my laughing at his expense. "Well, at least I've managed to secure a good reputation at the Pearl. I can't imagine being referred to as Ser Lance-A-Little." I break into another bout of laughter, holding onto his shoulder to steady myself. He's smiling widely at me. "You're very pretty when you laugh, even if you're laughing at me," he says mildly.
"Thank you, your-erm-Alistair. I haven't laughed like that in ages." I take another sip of wine.
"It was my pleasure, Elissa. I quite enjoyed our little chat, actually," he remarks. "It's good to have someone around that treats me like an actual person rather than a-"
"A king?" I ask, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Yes, that," he replies.
"Well, I give you my word. In public, I shall treat you as any other lowly subject treats her king. In private, however, you'll just be Alistair, one of the boys." I raise my glass to him as a sign of my intent to follow through with said deal.
"I'd like that, I really would," he gazes at me strangely then. I clear my throat.
"Right, I'd best get to bed. Wouldn't want people to start rumours about the new Teyrna and the king carrying on in the larder after hours," I say with a wink.
"No, perish the thought," he says. Hm. I don't like the devious grin he's giving me. I cast one last friendly smile in his direction and set out for my room.
I swear I won't get lost this time.