Back again with another chapter! As I said, I'm happy to see that this fic has some readers! I understand it's not the "typical" kind of Twilight fanfiction, but I'm glad to see that some people are giving it a chance and enjoying it. I appreciate all the favs and follows, and remember - don't be afraid to leave a review!

chapter four - family ties

After the divorce, my mother didn't bother to move. She stayed in the same ostentatiously decorated penthouse in the Upper East Side. Funnily, it wasn't too far from where I now lived with Samuel and Elisabeth. My father had left, though. He got a mini mansion in Jersey and a new, significantly younger wife.

I didn't know why my mother chose to stay here. Maybe it was insecurity. Maybe she was too scared to change her lifestyle after years of living in the lap of luxury. Besides, she got a good bit of Dad's Wall Street money in the divorce settlement. It wasn't like she needed to move. I just would've assumed she was. It was the home where her husband left her, and where, as far as she knew, her daughter was violently abducted.

But that didn't shake her. She stayed. She renovated, even though I couldn't say the renovations made much of an improvement. If anything, she made it uglier, gaudier. Dad had prevented that by giving her an allowance. An allowance that was enough to fund a drug habit and a retail addiction, but not enough to over decorate to her heart's desire. Now no one stood in the way of that, and it was obvious.

Easily, I jimmied the window to my mother's private lounge. She called it her lounge. In reality, it was a drug den. Everyone knew that. She didn't think so, but it was the truth.

The walls in the lounge were covered in pink and silver wallpaper that hurt my eyes to look at, even in the dark. The room smelled like pinot grigio; I could tell Mom had spilt her drink of choice all over the white fur rug. And there she was, right in the middle of it.

She was passed out on the chaise lounge in the center of the room, still wearing a Versace cocktail dress that revealed a little too much for her age and a chinchilla fur wrap. The outfit was her choice to wear to the opening party for her new boutique. I had no clue how she thought she was going to run a business. But people came. I'd been watching from a distance. People came because they were shallow, and my mother was an easy target. Flatter her, she'd throw a couple hundred your way.

I crouched down in front of where my mother snored, peering into her face. She'd had Botox since I left. And lip injections, by the look of it. Maybe a brow lift, or perhaps a crafty makeup artist. Her hair was still big and bleach blonde, though her extensions were showing the way she was laying. She was still clutching the bottle of pinot grigio, which was empty. Like I said, she'd spilled it all over the rug. I wondered how many pills she downed with the wine. I probably didn't want to know the real answer to that question.

It would be so easy for me to kill her. To reach forward and snap her neck, or sink my teeth right into her jugular. It was perfectly exposed. I could kill her in a matter of seconds. And some part of me wanted to do that. I'd endured her slapping me across the face too many times to count, forgetting me and leaving me in the middle of the city as a child, locking me in my room and refusing to feed me because I'd said something she deemed as disrespectful, listened to all the insults she hurled my way when she was high, etc. I was still angry with her for all of that. I always would be.

But I wasn't going to kill her.

I had learned, especially since becoming immortal, that death was the most precious thing. Giving it to her would be giving her a gift, an easy exit. The real way to get revenge on her was to let her live. To let her dry up in her penthouse, surrounded by her material treasures, numbing the real emptiness she felt with pills and wine, that was the fate I decided she deserved.

I stood up from where I crouched. Seeing her again made me grateful for my vampire family. Yes, I resented Samuel for changing me in the first place, but that didn't mean I wasn't grateful for the love they gave me. I was loved by Samuel, Elisabeth, Jesse and Anna from the moment Samuel brought me to his home. Samuel took on the fatherly role easily. He was my mentor and my biggest supporter, a silent ear when I needed it and a guiding voice when it was necessary. Elisabeth did everything she could to show me affection - hugs, kisses, gifts, advice, kind words - everything my mother never bothered to do. Jesse taught me about vampires, how to win fights (partially due to my absorbing his gift) and how to laugh, like, really, really laugh and appreciate the little things, though I was still learning that. Anna eased into being my big sister, a girly confidant and style advisor, as well as someone ready to call me out on my shit and let me know when I was getting on her nerves.

I didn't have any of that with my mother and father. I had two people who were obsessed with the material things in life. My father loved money, my mother loved anything money could buy. I was an accident, the accident that ended my mother's fledging swimsuit model career. I wasn't really their daughter, at least I never felt like I was. I was a burden at best, the kid lost in the shuffle who was a bothersome presence, always getting underfoot. I was never really wanted, and I was painfully aware from that since birth.

I leapt out the same window I crept into without looking back.

"You know, if I'm going to be stuck in a car with you for the next three days, I am not going to suffer listening to jazz the whole time," I said.

I took the liberty of ejecting his Duke Ellington CD. I couldn't count the times I'd had to listen to the same ten tracks over and over again living with Jesse. I wasn't a jazz fan. Like at all. I didn't get it. It wasn't of my generation, it was of Jesse's. He loved jazz. Probably because his parents had been jazz musicians. Still, I hated it.

"And I'm not going to suffer listening to your music if I'm going to be stuck in a car with you for three days," Jesse retorted with a smirk.

He hated the music I liked more than I hated jazz. I liked anything dark and or heavy. Industrial metal, black metal, nu metal, heavy metal, all of the types of metal, really. I also liked club and dance music, because it brought me back to all the nights I'd wasted at places like the Limelight when I was still human. But the heavy stuff was what I spent more time drowning myself in. Jesse insisted it was depressing, telling me I wouldn't be depressed if I didn't listen to it. I assured him it was cathartic, because for me, it was. It got everything out.

"We'll switch off, then," I suggested. "You get to play a full record of your choice, and then I do. You just went, so it's my turn now."

Jesse's eye roll was enough of an agreement for me. I plugged my iPod into the stereo. My first choice was Slayer's Reign in Blood, partially because I knew it would bug Jesse. I could see his glare at me as soon as the first track, "Angel of Death," came blaring through the speakers.

"You know you've kind of turned yourself into a stereotype with all of this?" Jesse half-asked.

I raised a brow. "What's that mean?"

"With the all black outfits and the screaming music," Jesse said. "Isn't that kind of stereotypical for the modern vampire?"

I shrugged. "I mean, I guess so."

"I thought you hated stereotypes," he commented.

"Yeah, but I originated this stereotype," I retorted. "It was based on me."

Jesse laughed. "So you see yourself as a trendsetter?"

Playfully, I answered, "I suppose you could call me that."

We continued zooming down the highway through Pennsylvania, crossing over to Ohio. We'd been silent for a while, which I was okay with. I was the kind of person who didn't have to keep up a conversation. In fact, I found it pointless to keep up a conversation just for the sake of being polite.

"Are you still nervous about this trip?" Jesse asked, breaking that silence.

"I wouldn't say nervous is the right word," I said. "I'd say I'm dreading it…but not because I'm nervous."

"Because you're stubborn," Jesse smirked.

"True," I nodded. "And I have a problem with authority."

Jesse chuckled. "You're dreading it because you don't like the rules there."

"Yup," I said.

Both Jesse and I knew that my refuge with the Cullens came with a two rules. Rule one: No feeding off humans. I hadn't fed off of animals ever, because unlike them, I didn't believe feeding off humans was morally wrong. At first, when Samuel explained that I wouldn't be allowed to hunt, I assumed that I was going to be able to drink donated human blood, as last I knew Carlisle Cullen, the head of the coven there, was a doctor. But that wasn't going to be the case, because I had to blend in there.

Blending in meant I couldn't walk around with bright red eyes, the kind of eyes that vampires who fed off of humans had. In New York City, it was easy to pass of the red eyes as colored contacts. I only really went out at night, and to clubs more specifically, where red colored contacts were an easy-to-believe cover story. There were plenty of stranger looking people in New York, especially in those clubs. In the small town of Forks, Washington, however, no one walked around with red eyes. So I'd have to feed off of animal blood like the rest of them, in order to have golden eyes that would be less conspicuous.

I was angry about that, of course, but I was arguably even more angry with the second rule: I had to attend high school.

I never finished high school in my human life. I dropped out after Christmas break during my sophomore year. Well, I never formally dropped out. I just sort of stopped going. And as many times as Samuel and Elisabeth attempted to force me to go to school and complete my education, I didn't. I didn't see a point in the monotony of high school as a human, and I certainly failed to see it as a vampire. If humans didn't need to know geometry or how to write an MLA formatted essay, vampires definitely didn't.

But, it was a part of the deal that allowed me to stay in Forks while Samuel took care of Bastien. I was told I'd stick out too much if I didn't go to high school there. I thought I'd stick out more if I did. I didn't have the self control around humans like self-control the Cullens had cultivated. It'd be a miracle if I didn't smell a paper cut and go on a massacre.

Jesse and I continued on our three day drive across the country. We only stopped for gas here and there. We didn't have any other reason to stop - we didn't need to sleep, and we didn't need to eat. Jesse brought a backup supply of bear blood from Samuel, which he drank some of. I'd gone hunting the day before to prepare. I'd gone out in style, taking seven human lives. I hoped a feast would last a while, to delay having to drink from animals.

We arrived in Forks around eleven p.m., and I couldn't have been happier to get out of the car. We arrived during Jesse's turn, meaning I had to endure another hour of Duke Ellington. I could've kissed the ground I stepped out onto, just for relieving me from one more damn Ellington song.

Jesse had been to Forks before, but I hadn't. It was quiet. Almost too quiet. There wasn't all of the static buzz of thousands of humans that New York, New Orleans and Berlin always had. No city smell, no city lights twinkling. The air was fresh, like, almost eerily fresh. It only reminded me that I'd have to become a vegetarian. I wanted to sprint all the way back to New York, but I knew that wasn't an option.

Carlisle and Esme Cullen, the leader of the coven and his wife, were already waiting for us on their front doorstep. The house reminded me a lot of Elisabeth - clean and modern. I wondered if she and Esme had been exchanging design plans. They were arguably better friends than Carlisle and Samuel, having bonded over their mutual love of design.

"Welcome, Lindsay," Carlisle greeted. He and Esme came down to greet us hand in hand. They were as vampirically good looking as I had recalled.

"We're so glad you're here," Esme said genuinely. Her face was rounder than Elisabeth's, softer. Somehow she looked even more maternal. "It's been such a long time since we've seen you….I'd say you've grown, but obviously, you didn't."

I chuckled. I appreciated Esme's attempt, even if it wasn't exactly having the intended effect on me.

"Well, as much as I want to stay with you, I should get going, Linds," Jesse said, dropping a brotherly hand on my shoulder. "Samuel has a lot to do. I should get back and help him."

"Okay," I said with a half-smile.

I allowed him to hug me. I wasn't a hugger. I hadn't been before, but I especially hated being touched now, based on my painful experiences touching vampires in the past. Touching Jesse or any other of my family members didn't hurt, since I already absorbed their abilities, but being touched still always put me on edge. Especially hugs. I felt like I was going to be strangled or smothered when I was hugged.

"Love you," Jesse said. He said it lowly, so Esme and Carlisle wouldn't overhear. But that was impossible.

"Love you too," I admitted begrudgingly.

My vampire family was very lovey-dovey. I was still adjusting.

"Thank you," Jesse said to Carlisle and Esme.

"Our pleasure," Carlisle responded. "Your father has done a lot for us. Allowing Lindsay to stay with us is the least we can do."

Jesse nodded. "I'll be back for her when this is all over."

"Say hello to Elisabeth for me," Esme reminded him.

"Will do, ma'am," Jesse said, with his trademark toothy-grinned charm. "Bye, Linds."

"Bye, Jess."

I walked into the Cullens' home empty handed and unoptimistic. Carlisle, being the gentleman he was, brought my luggage in for me while Esme stayed by my side. I think she wished she could reach out and hug me, or give me a simple touch on the shoulder to tell me I was going to be okay. I could tell she was like Elisabeth in that way. But, unlike Elisabeth, she hadn't yet touched me.

"You must be Lindsay!" came the voice of the small, pixie-like girl who bounded towards me. "It's so nice to meet you, I'm so happy -"

I didn't hear the words the came out of her mouth, I only reacted. Against her own will, she skidded back across the hardwood floors, about six feet back away from me. It was a product of the telepathic abilities I'd absorbed from Elisabeth, though I hadn't meant to use it. As I've said, I didn't have a good control over any of the gifts I'd absorbed. They tended to fire at random.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I thought -"

"That I was going to touch you?" the girl finished for me. "It's okay. Carlisle debriefed me on the situation. I'm Alice, by the way."

"Nice to meet you," I replied, attempting to calm down a bit.

I've never met any of the other Cullens. I hadn't met many vampires. Samuel did his best keeping me away from them, given the situation regarding my gift as well as based on how well my last encounter with other vampires went. I tried to recall what Samuel had told me about the others, what had he said Alice's gift was?

Oh yes. She had visions of the future. That was something I certainly didn't want to absorb.

"I can tell we're going to be good friends," Alice assured me with a sweet smile.

I smiled back. I didn't know if I bought that. I didn't have friends. I had my vampire family, but I did not have friends. I'd had maybe one or two friends as a human, but not now.

I didn't really know what to say in response to Alice, so I was grateful when Esme stepped in to introduce me to the rest of the Cullens that had gathered. I counted two others. Two must've been out. Hunting, probably.

"Lindsay, this is Rosalie."

Esme gestured to the blonde, who had classic good looks. She could've been an old Hollywood movie star in another life. She also didn't look happy to see me. I couldn't say it bothered me.

"And Edward."

She meant the boy, the one with the fashionably messy bronze hair.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Edward said. Clearly, he was better with the pleasantries than Rosalie was.

"Same to you," I replied.

"Emmett and Jasper are out hunting," Esme told me. "But you'll be able to meet them in the morning."

Like it matters, I thought. I caught Edward staring at me, eyes narrowed. I'd forgotten he could read minds.

"I'll show you to your room," Alice offered, coming to my rescue.

"Thanks," I said.

I followed her up the staircase, grateful to escape the slightly awkward situation developing in the living room.

"I think you're going to like your room," Alice said, glancing at me over her shoulder. I hated to say it, but her smile was sort of infectious. "Esme's been working on it for the past week….she got some ideas from Elisabeth."

Alice opened the door at the end of the hall on the third floor for me. Immediately, I was able to tell that she was right - I loved it. Three out of four walls were covered in a soft gray striped wallpaper, the fourth wall behind the bed had been painted with chalkboard paint, just like how it was at home in New York. Elisabeth had done that due to my habit of writing on the walls. I did it a lot, when I was writing songs or poems. I had a problem with finding paper. I was impressed to see she'd included the bed, considering no vampire needed one. I still liked having a bed, because there was something about the comfort of curling up in bed amongst soft blankets that I could never go without.

The wall across from the bed was lined with a long bookshelf, already filled with books, knick-knacks, small house plants and photos of my family. There were some CDs too, ones I think that Elisabeth must've shipped here without me noticing. The wall to the left of the bed was all windows, so I could get a clear view of the Washington wilderness. A row of string lights hung above the bed and there was a soft black and white Persian rug covering most of the wooden floor.

"Esme didn't have to do all of this," I said, immediately feeling a rush of guilt. No one should go to that much trouble for me. "I appreciate it, but it's really….it's really too much. I'm not going to be here long."

"it wasn't an issue," Alice assured me. "Esme loves interior design, like Elisabeth. And I think you're going to be here longer than you think."

Coming from someone who could tell the future, I didn't like hearing that.

"Well, then, I'm glad I have such a nice room," I said. "I'll have to thank Esme later."

Alice nodded. "I'll give you some time to settle in. But if you need anything, you can come downstairs to my room. Or find anyone else."

"Thanks," I said again.

"No problem," Alice assured me cheerfully. "We're all happy to have you, Lindsay. Really, we are."

With that, she turned on her heels and bounced out of the room that was now mine. I took a seat on the bed. I didn't know why, as a vampire, I was still so attached to beds. Maybe it was my attempt to keep a part of my humanity, even though that was something I felt I lost before even becoming a vampire.

I looked out the window. I hated to admit it, but the scenery here was beautiful. So green and lush. Almost subterranean.

Maybe Samuel was right. Maybe I needed to be a little more optimistic.