"Keith? Do you want to see him?" Shiros voice was quiet, breaking Keith's train of thought. He had been trying to word his apology to Lance, his explanation as to why he chose to leave him broken, but the words were lost to him now.

He nodded and stood from his seat as Shiro took his arm with a comforting hand.

Keith wanted to hold lance again, to see that he was alive, but he also wasn't sure he could see him laying all still and cold, like a corpse dug from a grave.

Shiro paused outside the infirmary door. He wore the same expression he had on when he'd told Keith he was leaving for Kerberos. Endless apology.

"You might want to prepare yourself for what you see in there. Hunks been cleaning him up but he still looks pretty rough and all the machines may be disconcerting."

Keith's voice was rough from crying.

"I want to see him Shiro."

The man nodded but took Keith's shoulders in his grip.

"Just remember that he's alive and we're taking care of him. Everything else will take time, but he's alive."

Keith nodded and Shiro opened the door.

The first thing he saw was hunk. Leaning over the bed and running a cloth down the length of Lances arm to get rid of the blood and dirt previously plastered to his skin.

Hunk turned and gave Keith an apologetic nod, stepping away from the bed. And there was Lance.

Keith couldn't breathe. He was so pale and still, his constantly twitching fingers still and white on the sheets. His bad leg was covered in bandages and splints, red already staining beneath the dressings.

Coran came to Keith's side, quietly telling him how the surgery went.

"He won't lose his leg but like it said, it won't be the same as before. The damage was permanent. His... heart stopped a couple of times."

Keith couldn't make his feet move any closer, he was stuck in the doorway and felt sick. Lance had died. And he hasn't felt it, he hadn't known. Lance was everything to him and it was awful to think that his whole world had died without him noticing.

Keith could barely stomach the sight of lance in that bed. He didn't look like himself at all. Coran was pointing out the different machines and what they were for, but Keith couldn't tear his eyes away from the tube snaking from Lances mouth.

Coran noticed and pointed to it sadly. "He isn't breathing on his own so we have him intubated but as soon as he's strong enough we'll take him off it and he'll go into healing pod."

Keith could hardly focus on what he was saying. It was all too much. Lance had died. Now he's alive but not breathing. And that tube, shoved down into his throat, choking, suffocating, strangling- Keith bent over and retched.

Shiro threw a trash can under his mouth before anything could hit the floor and he fell to his knees a gripping the bin.

Hunk came over, worried, and placed a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles into his tense muscles until the vomiting stopped and he could breathe again.

"I'm sorry, it's just- "

Hunk interrupted, nodding.

"It's a lot to take in, it's okay. You should rest anyway, you haven't slept in a few days."

Keith lifted his head, lips already moving to tell him he wouldn't be leaving, but Hunk already knew that.

"Don't worry, no one's going to make you leave. I'll set up a bed beside Lance's, just promise me you'll sleep."

Keith nodded and took his offered hand. He got to his feet, chest aching as he looked at Lance. But Hunk led him over to the bed and sat him down in a chair. Keith's hands shook but he picked up Lance's cold fingers and held them in his warm ones.

Those blue eyes that Keith loved so much were closed and Lance's hair was falling over his forehead, and Keith reached a hand up to brush it back as his voice wobbled.

"Hey, baby, I'm here. I'm right here, everything's okay now." He closed his eyes, utterly exhausted from the past few days of worrying and waiting. He pressed Lance's fingers to his mouth, kissing the pale skin.

"I was so worried, but you're going to be okay. I won't leave you I promise. I love you so much, Lance."

The constant anxiety over Lance had been keeping him up for days and now that he could be with him again, the exhaustion took over and he didn't even notice when Shiro and Hunk pulled him over to the bed beside Lance's. He wouldn't let go of his hand so they simply pulled the beds together and tucked him in as he fell asleep.

He didn't even wake up when, a little later, Pidge came in and cried, falling asleep holding her surrogate big brothers hand.

They all loved Lance so much and almost losing him had taken a lot out of the team. They all wanted to stay close together. Shiro wanted to watch over his team but fell asleep at the foot of the blue paladin's bed, while Hunk snored against Lance's good leg. Pidge had one of his hands while Keith had the other and even in his dreams, he would not let go.

…..

Hunk made food for everyone, a nice reprieve from the surgery he'd helped with, and forced Keith to eat. Everyone offered their words of comfort but the only voice he really wanted to hear was Lance's.

Sitting there, watching his chest rise and fall with the help of machines, and looking at the bruises and scrapes, sent Keith looking for any distraction from the sight in front of him. He'd worried enough over Lance's injuries, heard them explained over and over, and new he wouldn't be waking up anytime soon, so instead he talked to Lance.

"I never understood why you liked the rain so much. I lived in the desert so I appreciated it but the way you always got so excited when we found anything that resembled earth's storms, it was just so cute. It always made you a little sad too but you'd drag Hunk out to jump in puddles with you, even if they tried to solidify as soon as they touched the ground. I thought it was childish. But then, there was that planet we visited for your birthday, you'd been getting homesick so Coran found one with rain, actual rain that wasn't hot or a weird colour and made decent puddles. And your face lit up and you ran right out into the downpour, laughing. You cried a little too and we knew you missed your family, but then you grabbed my hand and pulled me into the rain too.

You smiled and your hair was falling into your eyes, and your hand was so warm in mine."

Keith was playing with Lance's fingers as his throat grew thick with emotion.

"And you didn't let go. Everyone came out to play in the rain and we got you those ridiculous frog gumboots but you loved them. And you said that it was the best family space vacation we'd ever had. I'd never had a proper family, and there you were, giving me one. I think that was the day I realized I loved you. And I've never stopped loving you since."

He wiped his tears and rubbed Lance's hand. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Shiro with a soft smile.

"That was a good day. You two looked so happy."

Keith nodded as Shiro sat down.

"It's going to take a while for his leg to heal and the weapon for Zarkon is under construction, so till then we can find somewhere to lay low and recover. Maybe we could find somewhere with rain."

Keith looked down at the splints and bandages encasing Lance's leg, wincing at the metal rods holding him together. Shiro noticed and sighed.

"You know you did the right thing. Hunk, Allura and I were all in there when Coran told us what the options were and we all agreed on the same one. Ultimately it was your decision but everyone agreed with you. Once he wakes up, we can explain it to him, and we'll all be on your side."

Keith hated to think about what Lance would do when he found out.

"What if I made the wrong choice? Coran said the healing pods would heal him completely-"

Shiro interrupted as Keith grew panicked. "That was if Lance's heart could take it, which was very unlikely."

"But he could have. He could have been healed and I wouldn't have to explain to him why he won't ever walk properly again."

Shiro was insistent, hating to see Keith so guilty over something that wasn't his fault.

"And what if he had died? He wouldn't have survived the pods, Keith. But now he's here, safe, and no matter what happens we'll always love him. He loves you and he knew what the chances were when he blew that tunnel. He's not going to be mad."

Keith kept his head hung low and Shiro continued, trying to coax his thoughts into a more positive direction.

"Pidge and Hunk are already working on making prosthetics and braces for him to help with the healing process or to replace the leg if necessary. You know Lance loves my arm now he can have one of his own. Hunk even wanted to put in a rifle so that Lance could detach his leg and use it to shoot people. I vetoed that idea."

Keith laughed a little at the thought of his boyfriend hopping around firing at galra with his own leg. Lance would love that.

"Thanks, Shiro."

"No problem, you know we're all here for you."

Shiro had always given Keith good advice, and his calm voice never failed to make him feel better.

Keith's mood was lifted a little and he took a breath to refocus. He just had to be patient and wait for Lance to heal. And he would.

…..

Lance was in a deep sleep, his brain not even aware that he was. He wasn't aware enough to form thoughts but he felt things. Slow hands massaging his fingers, thumbs rubbing over his palm. The fresh, flowery scent of his favourite moisturizer that was being smoothed into his skin.

There was the closeness of someone sitting next to him, occasional fingers brushing his hair back or running over his cheek. He loved that touch, new it as surely as he knew himself. And there was a voice, his favourite, singing softly to him.

The tune was familiar, often sung to him in the mornings while kisses were pressed to necks and shoulders. In his most beloved memories of Keith, this song was whispered to his skin as they lay in each other's arms, just holding the one they loved the most in all the galaxy.

Lance's body may have been broken but his mind was safe and full of Keith.

"Listen when
All of this around us'll fall over
I tell you what we're gonna do
Hey you will shelter me my love
I will shelter you
If you shelter me too
I will shelter you"

(AN: The song that Keith sang is called Shelter by Ray Lamontagne and Steven Yeun, the voice actor for Keith, sings it! watch?v=k6wDOi2HrsI so that right there is a video of keith singing to lance. It's not the most romantic song but its the best one that steven sings and it literally took me all day to decide on a song but whatever lol please tell me what you think of this chapter! Btw I'll be writing the fic for the story keith was telling about lances birthday ha i have so much writing to do btw idk why this part is so big sorry i cant make it smaller)