Hello again! I'm so happy to see the number of readers going up on this. I was sort of worried that people wouldn't like it, since it's different than the average Twilight fanfic. I get that it's darker, but...that's the sort of writing I enjoy doing. Again, I want to send a huge thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read, fav or follow, and especially to those of you who took the time to review. I really appreciate it and look forward to hearing from you more and more as I post!

Thank you, and enjoy the new chapter!

chapter six - connections

I opened my eyes. Immediately, I knew something was wrong. I was supposed to be dead. I was pretty sure that the pills and slits to the wrist would've done the job. Had one of the maids stumbled in and found me on some odd chance? Had I been wrong in my belief that there was no afterlife? Had that strangely cold man saved me?

"She's awake," said a feminine voice.

It was a voice I didn't recognize, but it was clear and high, like bells. I detected a trace of an accent too, but I couldn't pinpoint what kind of accent it was. Whoever it was, she was excited, but attempting to keep it a bit restrained.

"Lindsay," said a male voice. Again, it was unfamiliar, but low, a baritone voice. Strangely comforting. The voice my father should've had. "You can hear us, right?"

"Yes," I said.

My voice sounded different somehow. Maybe it had something to due with the fact that my throat was burning. Burning worse than it ever had before in my life, and I'd drank some pretty shitty alcohol.

"Can you sit up?"

I obliged. I sat up, blinking. I was in another very nice living room, but not one that I'd ever been in or even seen before. But everything was…..different. Everything looked sharper, clearer, brighter. I noticed things I could never notice before - the fruit fly dancing in the flowers in the window, the dust filtering through the light, one of the flowers in the pot in the corner actually starting to bloom. I heard things, too. I could hear everything going on around me in New York City, or so it seemed.

I was weirdly hyper aware of every little detail, even through the searing pain I felt in my throat.

"Where am I?" I asked. "Who are you?"

Of course, I knew who the man was upon looking at him. Well, I recognized him, at least. He was the perfectly sculpted, black porcelain skinned man who had been there when I tried to kill myself. I didn't know the woman, but she was just as beautiful. She could've been a model, easy. She had bright red hair that fell over her shoulders in soft waves, with high cheekbones and full lips, and she was looking at me in a way I wished my mother had.

"My name is Samuel Hawley," he informed me. "And this is my wife, Elisabeth."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," the woman said, with a kind smile. She came towards me, taking my hands in hers. "I'm sure that you're scared now, but -"

As soon as she touched me, the burning sensation from my throat exploded through my entire body. I couldn't help but to scream, as I crumpled on the floor, wishing I was dead. Every nerve in me was blazing and it seemed like my brain was trying to bust its way out of my skull.

"Samuel, what's wrong with her?!" Elisabeth screeched, clearly panicked as she backed away from me.

"I have no clue," Samuel responded. He, too, was worried, but he was better at keeping his cool.

He knelt down before me, just as I was recovering from whatever had knocked the piss out of me. His eyes examined my face, and I noticed they were no longer crimson as I remembered them being. Instead, they were a strange, diluted red, caught somewhere between maroon and gold.

He offered me a hand to help me stand up, but as soon as I took it, everything erupted in pain again. Once more, I was left on the floor of the strange living room, writing and screaming in pain and wishing I was dead or that I had any clue what was happening to me.

"Don't touch her again," Samuel said. "Let her recover."

Neither touched me as I gathered myself enough to sit up. Once I did, Samuel reached a hand towards me again.

"Please don't," I begged.

"I've got to see," he said in an apologetic way.

I braced myself, squeezing my eyes shut. I felt his hand on mine. No pain. Nothing. I opened my eyes to stare at him.

"What the hell was all that about?" I asked. My eyes flickered between the two of them, waiting for an explanation.

"I don't know," Samuel said, looking me over. "I've never seen anything like it."

"Where am I?" I asked again. I knew better than to try and get an answer about the nearly fatal pain I felt. "What happened to me? Who are you?"

"As I said, we're Samuel and Elisabeth Hawley," he repeated. "You're in our home, in Manhattan. What happened to you, however, is not as easy to explain."

"Try me," I retorted. My life hadn't been easy to explain anyways. I'm sure I could handle it.

"I think, perhaps, you should take a look in a mirror first," Elisabeth suggested. "It might make it easier."

She gestured to her left, where a full-length mirror hung on the wall. I stared at my reflection in disbelief, slowly making my way closer to look at myself better.

The thing was, I didn't look like myself.

Well, okay, I looked like myself, but I looked like a different version of myself. I looked like someone at Vogue had spent hours and hours editing a photo of me to make me look perfect.

My skin was porcelain, nearly as white as marble, and the acne that had troubled my chin and forehead was gone. I still had freckles across my nose, but they were softer now, like they'd been put on my face with slightly translucent paint. My lips were fuller, my cheeks a bit more pronounced, my brows straighter and significantly better manicured. My hair was still chocolate brown, shoulder length, and slightly messy, though it was now messy in the way that supermodel's hair was messy in a lingerie ad. I had lashes I never had - full, thick, dark lashes.

And then there were my eyes. No longer blue. But bright, intense crimson.

What the fuck happened to me?

"Lindsay," came Samuel's voice, interrupting my inspection of myself. I didn't ask how he knew my name yet. I didn't want to know. "I know this is going to sound insane to you, but it's the truth - you're a vampire."

"How's Washington treating you so far?" Samuel asked.

We were video chatting, something I'd never done before. Edward had kindly set up a laptop and webcam in my bedroom so I could video call Samuel and Jesse back in New York. I would've called Elisabeth and Nevaeh too, but it was past her bedtime.

"It's fine," I answered. "I miss New York and I miss you guys."

"We miss you too," Jesse said. "It's boring without you and all your rule breaking."

I chuckled. "Well, you're not missing much. I have yet to break a rule out here."

"Really?" Samuel asked. He sounded hopeful, but raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Really," I nodded. "It's three days and I haven't fed off of a human."

"I could tell," Samuel said. "Your eyes are practically completely gold now."

"Yeah," I sighed.

"You don't like it?" Jesse asked.

"No," I said, scrunching up my nose. "Not the best taste, especially for someone used to feeding off of humans….but I'll get used to it, I guess."

"And you go to school tomorrow, right?" Samuel inquired.

"Don't remind me," I grumbled, dropping my face into a pillow. Changing the subject, I asked, "What's the news on the whole Bastien situation?"

"Not much," Samuel told me. "No sign of him yet in the city….but don't be angry that you're in Washington without him here. It's better to have you there and blending in rather than having to rush out when we catch sight or scent of him."

"I know," I said. "I'd still like to come home."

"Have the Cullens not treated you well?"

"No, it's not that," I said. "They've been great….Esme decorated a whole room for me, Alice has been the definition of friendly….they're all nice. It's just not…."

"Home?" Jesse supplied.

"Exactly."

"I can understand that," Samuel said. "It's been bizarre without you, Elisabeth and Nevaeh around."

Even through the screen, I could see Samuel really was bothered. He lived nearly two hundred years by himself before finding and falling in love with Elisabeth. He'd always described those years as dark and lonely. I hated to think he was feeling anywhere close to that again.

"I hope I can come home soon," I said.

"Us too, Linds," Jesse assured me. "Good luck at school."

"Call me when you get a chance," I reminded them.

"Will do," Samuel promised. "Love you."

"Love you too," I said.

The screen went black. Unsure of how to really use the laptop, I shut the lid. I'd have Edward fix it later if that wasn't the right thing to do. I also wished I could've talked to them longer. I knew it was better if I didn't. The more I talked, the more I'd miss them.

I decided it was best for me not to wallow in my misery alone in my room, especially if I had to gear up for a day in high school tomorrow. I threw on a pair of pajama pants and left my room, hopping downstairs as I followed the sound of Alice's voice. I found her, Jasper and Emmett in the living room, watching a movie on the big TV.

"Want to join us, Lindsay?" Alice asked cheerfully.

"I wouldn't recommend it," Emmett said before I had a chance to answer. "It's Jasper's turn to pick what we watch, which means we're watching another Civil War thing."

"It's not that bad," Alice said. "Come over here and sit next to me."

She patted the couch beside her and scooted over to make more room for me. I plopped down to her right, keeping my arms crossed. I was always hyper aware of myself when I was around other vampires because of the whole absorption thing.

"So, can I ask a question that's probably sort of stupid?" Emmett asked.

"You just did," I grinned.

He laughed. "Good one."

"No, ask me whatever," I said more seriously.

"I just wanted to ask how your gift works," he said. "I know we can't touch you or whatever because of it….but why? How does it work?"

I sighed. I should've know that was coming. Alice probably did.

"Well, it's weird," I said, trying to think of how to explain it. "Whenever I touch another vampire, I 'absorb' their gift, or gain the ability to use it too."

"That sounds awesome," Emmett commented.

"Yeah, but it's not just that," I said. "Whenever I touch someone and absorb their gift, I absorb all their pain too. So I take the bad from a person too, not just the good. That's how Samuel believes it works, anyways. The pain only comes the first time I touch someone, but it's the worst thing I've ever felt….you know Jane, from the Volturi? How she can make you feel pain?"

Emmett, Jasper and Alice all nodded.

"It's like that," I said. "But more intense, most of the time. It depends on what a someone's been through in their life."

"Damn," Emmett exhaled.

"Yeah," I nodded. "And I can't even use the gifts I've absorbed that well. Half of the time when I want them to work, they don't, and the other half of the time they just fire at random, like when I sent Alice flying across the room the other night. I think my brain gets overloaded by all of them or something."

"Too bad it works like that," Emmett commented. "Or else you could be unstoppable."

"That's why I'm here," I said. "Bastien - the vampire coming after me - wants to use me as a pawn in his own stupid agenda."

"And Bastien -"

"Don't go there, Emmett," Alice warned.

She was probably right. I wasn't in the mood to go there right now.

"What about you guys?" I asked to change the subject. "What kinds of gifts do you guys have?"

"Super strength," Emmett said with a wink. He flashed his biceps playfully. They were impressive.

"I can detect others' emotions," Jasper said. His eyes flickered towards me as he added, "And influence them."

"Really?" I asked, brow raised. Curious, I then questioned, "What kind of a read do you get from me?"

Jasper smirked, emitting a stifled sort of chuckle I didn't understand. "You have a lot of baggage."

"You're good," I joked.

No reaction.

"So what's with the Civil War special?" I asked. I didn't want to be the one to leave things on an awkward note.

"Old Jasper here's a veteran," Emmett grinned, clapping a hand down on Jasper's shoulder. "He likes reliving the glory days."

I shouldn't have been all that surprised, but I was. I was always surprised to find out how old vampires were. The not aging thing was really deceitful. I always had a hard time picturing Samuel as a slave on a sugar plantation in Barbados in the mid 17th century, and now I was having a hard time picturing Jasper in the Civil War.

"I was the youngest major in Texas," Jasper said, a note of pride in his voice. It was the first time I detected the subtlest of southern drawls in the way he spoke.

"Wow," I remarked.

He nodded. Gesturing to the television screen, he said, "You know, they always mess something up in these. We never had shoes like that back then."

I looked at the TV to try and spot the mistake as well, and in doing so I caught Alice grinning like she knew something the rest of us didn't. She looked way too happy to be watching a Civil War special.

"What're you smiling about, Alice?" I asked.

I wanted to give her a playful jab in the ribs, since I already felt that comfortable with her. But I knew the repercussions of doing that.

"Nothing," she said with a quick shake of her head. "Want to guess how old I am?"

"No clue," I said. "I've never been good at guessing games."

"I was born in 1901," she declared. "And turned when I was nineteen."

"You've aged well," I joked dryly. "I feel like such a baby now. You're old enough to be my grandma, at least."

Alice and Emmett both laughed.

"You must've been really young when you were turned, then, huh?" Emmett concluded.

"Sixteen," I said. "I'm doomed to an eternity as a teenager."

"You'll fit right in at Forks High," Emmett said. "It's like being sucked into the black hole of teenage-hood."

"It's not that bad," Alice assured me. "I think it's always kind of fun to see different schools in different eras."

"You can find a silver lining in anything, Alice," Emmett said.

"That's not a bad thing," I chimed in. "I wish I could absorb that ability."

Once again, Alice and Emmett laughed while Jasper remained silent. I wondered if he was quiet because I wasn't funny. I knew deadpan humor wasn't everyone's cup of tea. But a bigger part of me wondered if he was quiet because he was picking up on my emotional state, which was always the same - a trainwreck. I could cover externally, but internally things were a whole different kind of beast.

Alice, Emmett and I continued with our small talk until the sun rose, its warm light coming through the many windows in the Cullens' house. I was feeling more at ease with Emmett and Alice, and was glad I was starting to make friends with some of the people I now had to live with.

Esme came in from the office, reminding us to get ready for school. I obeyed, though it was bizarre for me to hear. I never imagined I'd have to go back to school.

I dug through the suitcase in my room for clothes. Unlike every other vampire I'd come across, I liked to wear pajamas at night. Like my penchant for beds, I think it was another part of me wanting to hold onto the humanity I'd lost. I knew my flannel pants and oversized Misfits tee weren't exactly school appropriate, so I slipped into another outfit. It was a plain one, one Anna would definitely give me a hard time over. But it was what I wanted to wear - a simple pair of jeans, a plain black pocket t-shirt beneath my favorite denim jacket, mismatched socks and a pair of Doc Martens I'd cleaned blood off of more times than I could count.

I came downstairs to find everyone else ready to go. They'd done this plenty of times before, unlike me. Esme and Carlisle were waiting to see all of us "kids" off, with Carlisle ready to go to the hospital for a shift.

"That's what you're wearing?" Alice inquired as soon as she saw me.

"Don't play dress up with her," Edward grumbled, zipping his jacket. "We don't have time."

"She looks like she's ready to kick ass," Emmett commented, winking at me. "I like the look."

"Thanks," I grinned.

Rosalie jabbed him, prompting him to say, "But of course no one looks as beautiful as you, Rose."

He pecked her temple. But he wasn't lying - no one was as beautiful as Rosalie.

"Here's everyone's schedules," Esme said, handing envelopes out. She gave me a black book bag, and said, "A backpack for you, Lindsay, with supplies."

"Thank you," I said. Looking between her and Carlisle, I said, "Really, thank you for taking me in. I appreciate it."

"It's not a problem," Carlisle assured me. "Samuel and Elisabeth are good friends of ours. A member of their family is a member of ours too."

"We're happy to have you," Esme said with a smile. She started to reach for my shoulder but quickly pulled back. "Have a good day, everyone."

Goodbyes were bid, and then those of us masquerading as high school students made our way to the garage, where we split up. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper took Emmett's Jeep, while Edward, Alice and I climbed into Edward's Volvo. Edward made Alice get in the back so I could have the front seat, with some joke about how she was technically too small to be in the front anyways.

We followed Emmett out of the driveway, and Edward flicked on the radio, playing some old fashioned piano music that made me feel like I was in an elevator at a hotel.

"Sorry," Edward said. He turned the CD off, turning on the local radio station.

"Was it my face or my thoughts that gave it away?" I asked.

He chuckled, surprisingly. I hadn't pegged him as the kind of guy to chuckle.

"Both, actually," he said. "I could hear your thoughts, but I didn't need to - it was written all over your face."

I sighed. "I should work on that."

"No, don't!" Alice piped up from the back.

"Some people like it," Edward commented, somewhat cryptically.

I didn't have time to ask what he meant, because before I knew it we were parked in front of Forks High School. At the speed Edward drove, it really hadn't taken long.

"Any last minute tips, guys?" I asked.

"No, you're going to be fine," Alice said. "I can see that. And you have most of your classes with Edward, who has the best control over himself, besides Carlisle, probably, so he'll keep you in line."

"I will," Edward said, being more serious than he had before. "So keep that in mind - if I need to grab you, I will."

I nodded. "Understood."

I took a deep breath and exited the car with the two Cullens, walking to catch up with the other three on the way in. I wasn't too concerned. I didn't smell any blood that smelled particularly good, and my stomach was chock full of grizzly bear blood. I had cultivated enough control to keep myself from killing Nevaeh over the years. If things went wrong, I'd just have to think of every one of the kids as someone else's Nevaeh.

"Ready, Linds?" Emmett asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I groaned.