Ermagherrd, thank you so much guys for reviews, follows, favorites, views and just... really, thank you! I forgot to tell you last time that i was... am... grateful for the 1000 views which has now become 1500+! Thank you you lovely readers, you make my day and life that little bit better so that I can say my life is complete. So you've waited long enough because I've been out competing with my horse, so here you go. Ladies and gentlemen... chapter 6!

"I can't do this anymore" Tony said as if he was giving up on his own life.

Pepper was by his side at once, stroking his back and whispering comforting words into his ear to sooth him. It was the fifth time he had woke up from nightmares and Pepper started wondering if he may never get rid of them.

"If you want to, we can get the rest of the shards out like I first suggested instead of trying to get rid of the nightmares. Just as a little break from this, you look worn out" She tried to get eye contact, but Tony just looked down at his thumbs.

He then gave her a nod, like a child who's just been crying and gets shameful afterwards. They headed towards the kitchen, Pepper supporting a clearly sick and exhausted Tony before she set him down at the chair again and found the tweezers. She looked at it, and there was still blood on it which reminded her that she really hated this. She hated that Tony was in pain because of her dragging out glass from his body and she hated the sound and the smell and the blood and everything that came with this. There was a reason for why she wasn't a doctor. Pepper was quickly on the job anyways and started picking out small pieces of glass and cleaned the wounds afterward. She knew it'd sting, but she had to clean them or else they would just get infected which would be much worse. She tried to be careful, but she was no doctor and it hurt deep down into her bones each time Tony winced or made a whimpering sound.

All of his back, face, arms and legs were basically clear of glass after a few hours, there was just his stomach and chest left. Some of the cuts she had cleaned were still bleeding, and Pepper didn't know what to do to stop it. There was already enough blood lost, if he was going to lose more it might be too much. A flow of guilt ran through her body as she realized that she should just gone with Steve's suggestion and take Tony to the hospital, everything would be much easier. Only thing was that Tony had literally begged for them not to take him to the hospital, and it had confused her so much she didn't know what to do or who to trust. She had to ask him later...

"OH GOD!" Tony screamed into the towel he was biting in so that Pepper almost jumped.

A shard that looked like it was only a small triangle showed out to be about five centimetres into his side, and it had to be at least seven centimetres wide too. How on earth had it gotten in there without making a huge cut? Tony looked down at it with contempt as Pepper slowly dragged it out. His skin was ripped up as the piece of glass made its way out of his body, it was as if someone put the tip of a knife on his skin and just started cutting. Memories came back to him, this was a feeling he was way too good known with, but this time it was different, worse, it cut him up from the inside.

"Hurry up for god sake! This is probably..." He stopped as he waited for an intense pain wave to go over. "The most hurtful thing I've ever been put through, it's torture Pepper!" He said quickly and frustrated, holding his breath to lighten the load.

Pepper stopped when it was halfway out as bile rose in her throat. She wasn't sure if she could do it anymore, she was just a simple little woman in her pencil skirt and high heels, not one to drag out enormous glass shards from her boyfriend. It was so creepy how awake and fresh Tony behaved when he was actually very ill, he still had the guts to make jokes and make Pepper smile. Why couldn't he just pass out for a couple of hours, it would be much easier. No pain for him, no pain for me... Oh, god, that is just so wrong Pepper! She quickly shook off the thought. When she realized there had been quiet for a time she got nervous and quickly looked up at Tony. She had to giggle only a bit when she saw him sitting with his head backwards, eyes closed and biting into the towel.

"Is it over?" He asked sounding like a child while he opened one eye and then closed it again.

"Soon Tony. I'm sorry, I'll try to be a bit faster" Pepper took hold of the piece of glass with her hands and counted to three inside of her head before she roughly dragged it out, causing herself to fall down on the floor and Tony to scream so much she could hear a ringing noise in her ears afterwards.

His eyes were open now, more than open. He stared at the spot where the shard had been with big eyes while he was breathing and whimpering over each other. Again he placed his head in his hands, clenching to his sweaty hair and trying to stay awake. He could bear this pain, no problem, he had to. Pepper tossed the glass away and came up on her legs again to put a hand on his back, crouching down next to him. She was aware not to touch the wounds as they had started bruising, but then she saw where she had placed hand, there was no wounds, but still a big, purple bruise. She took her hand quickly away and pretended like she hadn't seen it. Something else had happened too, had someone beat him up? If it came from the car crash she would've seen it the night they slept together, it would've even been yellow by then. He was trying to hide something from her again, and she was going to let him do it to see if he eventually told her.

"Should I stop? We can take a break if you want to?" Pepper said with compassion in her eyes.

"N-no... this was the break, remember? Go on" He kept holding onto his hair and waited for her to dive into him again with the tweezers.

And so they sat there for about one more hour before Pepper declared herself finished. It didn't look so bad actually, except from where there had been many or big shards, because there were open cuts right there. He had small, purple and blue bruising over his whole body, but he always had that anyways from the battles he had fought as Iron Man, so it didn't scare Pepper that much. She was still thinking of how to patch up those wounds that had to be patched up, maybe she had some bandage she could just wrap around him. Problem was... Tony wouldn't let her.

"Have you got a needle and thread here?" Tony finally let go of his hair and looked up at Pepper.

"What do you mean?" She asked slowly, certain she knew the answer.

"I just thought that leaving these cuts open wasn't the best idea, but what do I know?" He said and rolled his eyes.'

"You're not seriously-"

"I need you to-"

"Thinking that I could-"

"Help me, I can't-"

"Patch you up. Tony, that's not even possible!" Pepper yelled now so that he should listen to her. "I can't just take a needle and a thread and start sewing your skin together, it doesn't work that way" She sounded very sorry.

"Actually it does, and do you have a better idea Dr. Potts?" He said sarcastically, once again waiting for her to fail.

"Have you heard about something called a hospital? What about letting me take you there?" She waited as the room was filled with silence, and Tony understood that she wanted to know why she couldn't.

"Doctors, scientists, physicists, CIA agents, what's the difference Pep? They all want a part of me... this" He tapped at the arc reactor. "I am not going to voluntarily lay my own life into those guy's hands and just wait for them to start investigating on what's keeping me alive as if I was a lab rat. I've though a lot about it, believe me" Also... Iron Man doesn't need to go to hospital, he can survive on his own... and he's afraid of doctors...

"I think I've got some bandages laying around" Pepper whispered so low that Tony barely heard it and he realized too late that he had been too harsh.

Pepper came back into the kitchen with a whole load of bandages and quickly and quietly started to bandage his hands, looking very fixated on her job to avoid eye contact. What had happened to them? It was almost impossible for them to have a conversation without getting mad at each other or start an argument. What had happened to him? Tony had always been so strong, so confident and never cared about sickness or even major injuries, but now he just gave in and almost begged for her to take care of him. Where was the Tony she had known before Killian, the nightmares and the anxiety attacks started? Pepper was dragged back to reality when she realized that the bandages weren't slow on absorbing the blood. She just continued wrapping several layers around his hands so that eventually it got so tight and so much bandage that it would stop bleeding. She did so at both hands before she wanted to start on the big cut where the large shard had been.

"I need you to stand up" She said firmly while she pretended like she was busy with some entangled bandages.

Tony didn't dare, or rather bear to, to do anything else than obey. He stood up from the petite dining chair and supported himself at the table as he felt his knees buckle under him. He let her wrap the bandages tightly around his stomach without moving as much as an inch even though his inside yelled ow, ow, ow, ooooooow! He just clenched his teeth and fists and waited for her to get finished. How was it that his mouth always just ran away without his mind being able to catch up? It wasn't like that before, he could think clear then. He never thought before thinking, everything came natural to him, every insult and every witty comment, but at least his mind wasn't behind his throat, never. Maybe that wasn't the problem, but that his mind wandered off everywhere else. It wandered off to the cave, the wormhole, the drowning, all the fights and the two operations, and then the next thing he knew he was having a panic attack. He raised his voice when he didn't mean to, just because the pictures that flickered through his mental vision made him wanting to scream. He was terribly sorry for everything that had happened over the last few minutes, and it wasn't really that hard to say so.

"Sorry... Pep... I'm sorry" Tony let go of the table and landed on the hard chair with a thump when she stopped bandaging him. "There isn't any other way to say it. I don't know what's happening, but my mind isn't right. I need to get my mind right and I need to get my voice to listen to it. I never intended to raise my voice, you know I didn't... I never do. Can we just start over? Since... It's like... I can't handle this. Don't be mad, please don't be mad" He said with the most pleading voice and he took her hand as she crouched down next to him.

"You know I could never be mad at you" That was all she said and then she took the back of his hand into her chin and hugged it.

One second later Tony's hand was locked around her waist and she stood up, giving him a passionate kiss. She was sure not to touch him anywhere at all except from his neck where she had placed both of her hands. She let them slip slowly to his hair while they were kissing and she started fiddling with it, like she knew he loved. It was her turn to take care of him now, how had she even dared to think that he was the one who was supposed to take care of her all the time? What a stupid egoist she was. Every single incident since Christmas had shown Pepper that Tony wasn't the man everyone thought he was, he had feelings and he was just as vulnerable as anyone else. Nothing had happened to the old Tony, she had just learned to know him... after so many years together she had just learned to know him. He needed her, and she was going to stand by him and never leave. Just when she thought so her phone started ringing and she groaned before she reluctantly dragged herself away from Tony and picked it up. One look at the clock and she understood that most people had gone to work for two hours ago, and Tony and she should have done that too.

"Virginia Potts, how can I help you?" She said politely with her business voice.

"The whole world is going crazy, no one knows where you are, no one knows where Stark is and no one knows what happened to the tower so you've got a whole lot to explain Miss Potts!" The man Pepper knew was an employee at SI was really angry and frustrated, anyone could tell, but Pepper remained calm and businesslike.

"I am so sorry, I just seem to have my job phone with me for the moment, the press can't reach me on that one, I'll get the other one as soon as possible and then I'll answer all the questions they have and you can finish the work you were actually supposed to do" She couldn't help it but getting a bit bitchy.

"Mr. Stark was supposed to be here at 8 am for a meeting, we had to tell the attending to leave when half an hour passed and he didn't show up. We know he has his own schedule, but this is just rude Miss. Taken the circumstances with the tower people can't help getting a bit worried either, there hasn't been any sign of him since that and the news are starting to make up their own theories because no one has any clue about anything that has happen. You will let us know if you have any information, right?" He asked a bit suspicious, as if he already knew Tony was with her.

Pepper felt that she got angry this time. Rude? He had no idea what was going on and then he threw out statements like that? He was the one being rude.

"Of course I will. I'm sorry to say that I haven't seen Tony since the night before the accident, but I'm sure he'll show up soon enough. Thank you for calling Sir, I'll let you know if I see something, I'm so sorry I have to hang up on you, but I have a meeting to attend to"

"mhmmm" Pepper reached to hear just before she turned off the phone and turned to Tony again.

"She's with him, definitely, and she's hiding something from us" The man placed his fingertips together and looked cruelly on the other man on the opposite site of the table.

"Well... I guess we just have to track them down then" He let out a low, humming laughter.

"I know you're tired, exhausted and probably... you have to be hungry?" Pepper cut herself off midsentence and looked at Tony with raised eyebrows. He shook his head. "Come on, you don't eat and you don't sleep, don't you want to get well?" The question hit Tony right in his chest. No, nonononono, that's the point, I don't want to get well.

This was like a soldier hurting himself to get away from duty, he felt like a pussy, a weak little child that couldn't even fight his own fears. Very much like what his father had described him as. Now when his head was finally a bit clearer he understood what a fool he had been. Pepper was forced to stay with him and literally babysit him, watch him every minute, no second, to be sure he didn't do something stupid as ripping of the bandages or something, and that was only because he was so stupid to make a bomb to hurt himself on purpose. Was it actually a death wish? He was damn close to dying about 48 hours ago and because of the immense pain he was still in, it felt like he was dying now too. Every now and then he would shift in the bed, try and find a more comfortable position, but it only hurt even more as moving was exhausting and awfully painful. He wasn't hungry, not for food at least, but for painkillers... ohyes! He wasn't tired either, or maybe he was, just so much that he didn't notice anymore. And in that second he realized his mind wandered off again.

"Anyways, I need for you to tell my everything you remember from the bombing, since I've picked up the phone that the reporters can reach me on and I have to give them a story" Pepper shoved away her last question as she knew how stubborn Tony could be.

Tony just stared out in the air, as he was there but not, they were unfocused and Pepper wasn't sure where he was, but she continued to wait for an answer. Suddenly he started panting for air, he tried to be discrete and clench to the mattress, but Pepper knew him and she noticed. He leant his head backwards until it hit the wall and then he closed his eyes tightly together. His whole body slowly slid down until his head hit the pillows and the pain left for a few seconds before it came back and he continued clenching to the mattress while gritting his teeth and closing his eyes. He didn't want to see Pepper's reaction. He felt his whole body shiver uncontrolled as he tried to suppress the unbearable pain. This wasn't shivering in the same way that a cold person would shiver, this was the shivering that a person who had just survived a life changing trauma did. It continued like that for a few minutes, the pain coming and going until he was completely exhausted and fatigued and all he could do was panting for air and shiver while sweat made his skin flushed. He had found Pepper's hand long time ago and he clenched to it, he thought. Pepper understood that he tried to hold on tightly to her, but the fact was that she could've just backed away and he would let go, he was barely touching her hand with his. Tony laid on his stomach and his head was hidden in the pillow.

"I... I- I'm the one..." He tried to catch his breath and turned over to his side so that his back was facing Pepper, but he still held on to her hand. "The bomb... Me, I was just... Fury... I-I-I was panicking..." He didn't get to say more than that before Pepper's hand was gone and he fell asleep into the land of nightmares.

Wow! How much bullshit is there possible to stuff into 3200 words? This was a bad chapter, really, I'll make it up to you next time, we have to get that bastard of a billionaire out of the bed now! Who's with me? :D