A/N: 1) Embarrasingly, I just realized for the first time today that it actually is possible to reply to reviews, so I'm going to start doing so, using the private reply where possible. Sorry to everyone that I did not reply to before, I was not, in fact, trying to be a first class prick.
Thanks for reviewing to Diane and Rialaea!
Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging
2) Since there is no reply link for you, Diane (not complaining, btw - computers are usually as glitchy as Stark's Dum-E, without any of that bot's cuteness and chirrups to go with it.), I'll just say it here: Thanks a million for really making my day!, and for letting me know I'm on some sort of right track. I'd say more but I'm new to this and I don't want to violate any ... anythings, so I hope I have not done that already.
I'll try to keep Tony and Loki in character (and by that I don't mean for example Tony's public personna, I mean the real Tony) as we go along, so if I mess up, please let me know :-)
3) Finally, the next chapters are going to get more dark and angsty as we're starting to move into the Ironman 2 timeline and the Palladium is going to become a problem.
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Four months have passed since Loki entered Tony's life and home, and he finds the experience comforting. He is still without most of his magic, but he does not mind much. At least in the present, he is at peace.
The peace shatters when Tony walks into his shop, hands clutched to his chest and breathlessly asks JARVIS to run diagnostics on his Arc-reactor.
Loki does not know what is wrong, but each word Tony says as he describes his symptoms to the computer terrifies Loki a little more:
"…nausea, dizziness, a constant ache in my chest… and sometimes I have these shooting pains that radiate out from the socket.."
As Tony lies down on a lab table and one of the robotic arms starts a scan, Loki leaps up by his side and lies down, pressed against Tony's side – offering what little comfort he can.
It is then that he smells it, the bitter metallic scent of the palladium cartridges that Tony periodically has to put into his arc-reactor…. except this scent is coming from Tony's body – it's in his blood… and Loki feels something deep inside of him shatter as he realizes that the Palladium that fuels the reactor which is keeping Tony alive is slowly poisoning him.
JARVIS speaks, breaking the silence: "Analyzing data, diagnostic will be complete in three hours." and at that, Tony sits up. Before he can go anywhere, Loki steps onto his lap, burying his face against Tony's chest, but even the heartbeat that once comforted him cannot ease the despair he feels, because now it has become a countdown.
Loki knows Tony will look for an alternative to Palladium once the results come back. He also knows that no element on Midgard exists that will be suitable, and no matter what, Tony will die.
Loki used to laugh at irony, but though there is plenty of irony in Tony's situation, all he can feel is an unbearable ache deep inside him – and for the first time, he wishes that the ever truthful computer would lie, because the truth will only cause Tony more pain.
Three hours – three hours until the truth is found and Tony knows he is doomed to a slow painful death…. three hours till Tony gets to watch his hopes and dreams crash and burn.
As he stares listlessly at the clock, for the first time, Loki realizes that love can make a person hide the truth – even one of this magnitude –because he knows that if it was his decision, he would.
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