My Sherlock,
I am glad you decided to read the letters. About that day of solving of crimes together, in the stairwell, I knew there was something different about us. About you. I had dismissed the idea that you loved me; that you were heartbroken. I am sorry I hurt you, though unintentionally. Our timing is bloody awful, isn't it?
It's good to hear that you are communicating well with your sister. I know you won't allow any harm to come to me if you can help it. It'll be wonderful for her and your parents to reunite after all these years, though bittersweet I suppose. Speaking of bittersweet, I would love to go to Victor's funeral with you. Well, maybe love isn't the right word. I mean, I would like to be there for you. I'm mucking this up, aren't I?
Now, my love, I must tell you that you shouldn't torture yourself like that. None of us will ever know how you may have turned out in different scenarios. Don't think about those things. You turned out wonderfully, in my personal opinion. No matter what, Sherlock, I will always love you despite the mistakes you make just as you love me despite mine. We're only human. Like the lyrics in a song that reminds me of how I feel about you: 'all your flaws and scars are mine.'
Do not forget, my love, no matter what anyone else says, you are good, you are worthy and you are loved. So very loved. You deserve my heart like no other. I know you consistently fight your inner demons, but you have not failed. So, you've lost a few battles but that does not mean you've lost the war. Your troubles are my troubles. Your joy is my joy. I'm not sure what to say about the way you see me as your angel. Your words brought me to tears. In a good way, mind you.
I am happy with you; happier than I've been in a long time. You're the right person for me as well. I've always believed that. I need you to know that I will always choose you without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I'll keep choosing you. You always find ways to make me laugh with our shared morbid sense of humor. I love it when you sneak in kisses at the hospital, which reminds me I'm glad you're taking cases again. I know you've missed solving mysteries. I think you have such a beautiful mind, Sherlock. The way it works, the way you think is so unique and completely you.
You've loved and lost. You've suffered so much heartache and tragedy. And you've survived. You're still going and I'm so proud of you. I don't know if I ever told you that before, but I am. I'm proud of you. Please do not fear this love. I promise there is nothing to be afraid of. You won't ever lose me. I'm in this for the long run as you have so sweetly told me out of the blue yesterday. There is no rush; we'll go at a pace you're comfortable with. I want you to feel safe with me. I assure you that you are. God, I love you so much. I hope you know that and never forget it.
With all my love,
Molly xxx