A/N: Little heads up, this chapter is going to be told in Killian's point of view, only because I felt that you deserved a bit if his side on the entire matter (plus a bit of bonus matter). Also, I thought it would be nice for you to finally find out why Killian actually left and how it happened.

You'll also find out some things about Killian's past and they probably will come by surprise to you. I'm sorry if you get confused but if you do, please send me as many questions as you want.

Good luck with chapter, I'd prepare yourself.

5

THE CASE OF MISSING YOU

Killian shook his head as he drove away from the go kart grounds. He should have known better. Of course she wouldn't accept plans that quickly. She wasn't ready for his redemption, or for his feelings. He was foolish to think that she would be serious for one second after what he had done to her. He was foolish to think she would ever give him a second chance.

Truth was - he didn't deserve a second chance.

Not after what he did - what he never told her.

September 2003

"Another new neighbor?" Killian groaned as he shoved his lunchbox in his backpack.

His mother lightly brushed her fingers through his hair and shrugged, "Just be nice and go, don't be late for school."

He nodded and hugged her, before running out the front door and to the edge of the driveway. It was his first day of sixth grade. Killian shuffled across the street and saw a boy, around his age, long, dark hair, and greyish eyes. He was wearing a long sleeved sweatshirt with ripped jeans and looked lost. Killian stepped onto the sidewalk and held out his hand, "I'm Killian."

"Neal." The boy shook Killian's hand, "I just moved here."

"You lost or something?"

Neal laughed, "Just trying to find the bus stop."

"Oh, follow me. It's right over here." Killian smiled and showed Neal across the street.

Killian wasn't a good kid, but he wasn't bad either. He got well enough grades to continue playing sports, was admired by the student body, and played the role of the most popular kid in school. He had tons of friends, including his newest, Neal, and lived the perfect life.

Neal and Killian grew closer as time passed. Seventh grade ended and summer began. They spent each day together, passing the football, studying, talking about girls, or just laughing. They really were the ideal best friends.

Killian had never felt so attached to someone else except to his brother Liam.

Eighth grade came, and then the two hit rock bottom.

September 2005

"Dude, how's it feel to still rule the school?" Neal asked as he playfully shoved Killian with his arm.

Killian shrugged, "Just the same."

Neal shrugged as well then, before they were forced to stop in the hallway. There was a group of students crowded around a single girl. They managed to squish past most of them, enough to see who the crowd was oohing and ahhing about.

It was the Emma Swan.

Emma had moved away to Boston a few years ago, back when she was adopted by some rich family. She was only ten years old when the family decided to save her from the foster home. Interestingly enough, even under the tough conditions of the foster home and the constant moving with her new family, she had managed to keep a good grade point average and stay in contact with her friends.

Now she was back.

And she seemed happy.

Killian pushed through the crowd and finally broke free, falling down to his knees from the slight shove Neal gave him, which made his books slide across the tile. Emma stopped talking to her long lost friend, Ruby, and turned to notice Killian on the floor and his books next to her feet. The crowd went silent to watch what Emma was going to do. She was a big shot now - rich and living the life everyone wanted. Right?

Killian stared at Emma with his dark blue orbs as he cleared his throat and began to collect his books, breaking their eye contact. He noticed her quickly look around - at the student body who was staring at her and asking themselves if she was going to stare, walk away, or help him out. No one knew why she came back to Maine, and they intended to find out in the next few seconds. Killian shook his head and straightened his books out in his lap before beginning to stand up, but suddenly her hand wrapped around his bicep and she pulled him up beside her. There were some gasps from the crowd of students - no one had expected Emma to help the likes of Killian off the floor, especially not since she was in the higher society now.

The bell rang, and the students began to shuffle away into their classes, leaving behind Emma, Neal, and Killian. Killian sent Neal a furious look, one that made Neal understand Killian's confusion for why he didn't get help picking up his books by his best friend. He turned away from Neal and met Emma's gaze, letting an embarrassed smile form on his face, "Thank you."

"How have you been, Killian? I've missed you." the words fell out of her mouth.

He froze at her words, suddenly feeling his cheeks flushing a bright red like he had just felt the most warmth he ever would. She had missed him. Emma Swan had thought about him in the past three years she had been gone.

"I've missed everything, the school, my friends, even the homework if you can believe that." she laughed.

Oh.

"We missed you, too." Killian laughed.

Neal cleared his throat, "Hi, Emma."

"Neal, right? Hey."

Killian stepped towards Emma as he heard footsteps coming down the empty hallway. He shoved her aside and into a janitor's closet, leaving Neal behind. They stood quietly in the darkened closet as they heard Gold's voice ring through the hallway.

"Mr. Cassidy, class now."

"Yes, Principal Gold."

Emma snickered a little before Killian grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the closet with him. He stared at her with wide eyes - she was even more beautiful than she had been when she left. She was absolutely glowing with beauty. He let his eyes fall to her lips and then adverted them back to her eyes, which were sparkling, "Why'd you come back to this place?"

She stayed silent and flicked her eyes at the floor, as he continued, "I mean, you don't have to tell me, but if you wanna tell someone,-"

"I was put back into the foster system a few months ago."

At her words, he paused everything - even his breathing. Then why was she acting like she was living the best life?

He muttered to her, "I'm sorry."

"No, no. It's fine, I'm fine, Killian," she said before clearing her throat, "My birth parents came forward."

This, this was the beginning of a friendship that they didn't think would turn into much more.

Killian sat down at the bar and sipped his rum. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes and remembering where it all went down.

May 2006

He heard a knock on his front door. He threw on his leather jacket and headed for the door - he was supposed to be meeting Emma and then the two were to go hang out with Neal. When he opened the door, though, it wasn't Emma. It was Neal, and he was carrying a suitcase.

"What are you doing with that?" Killian laughed.

Neal sent him a pouty face and stepped inside Killian's house. He kicked the door shut behind him and placed the suitcase on the ground, and without looking back at Killian, he said, "I'm moving away. To New York."

"What?"

Neal turned around and stuck his hands in his jean pockets, "My dad got a job up there."

"Why can't you stay here with me?"

"Dude, life has a funny way of working. This sucks, but hopefully we'll see each other sometime in the future." Neal shrugged.

Before Killian could reply, there was a knock on his front door. He turned and opened it to a cheerful and smiling Emma, who instantly lost her smile when she caught sight of a sad Neal. She stepped inside and looked at him, "What's wrong, Neal?"

"New York." Killian answered.

Neal shrugged and nodded, "I leave in an hour."

"Neal, I know it's tough moving, especially to a big city. I've done it. It's hard to adapt to the new place and you might struggle to make friends, but-"

"I don't want to make new friends, I want to stay here with you two." Neal interrupted her.

She placed a hand on his arm, "It'll all be okay, I promise."

Neal froze and stared at her hand that was tightly wrapped around his arm. A sudden warmth soared through his body, and Killian could notice it. Killian cleared his throat and hit Neal playfully in the arm, making Emma's hand fall to her side, "Just call me everyday. You're gonna be fine. Who knows, maybe you'll come back?"

Neal nodded but moved his gaze to Emma, who was still smiling warmly, "Thanks for being my friend, Emma. I hope we can see each other in the future."

Killian felt jealous as he watched Neal wrap his arms around Emma's body, to which she hugged him back reluctantly. They all knew that Emma was closer to Killian, and he had yet to get a hug from her. He could feel his cheeks growing a dark pink so he turned away and picked up Neal's suitcase. By the time he turned around, they were done hugging, and Neal was staring at him and waiting for a goodbye. Killian held his fist up and let Neal fist bump him. Neal nodded as he grabbed the suitcase from Killian's hand and looked at Emma, who was appreciating their goodbye. Emma caught a quick wink from Neal, who ran out the front door after his bold wink. The front door shut behind him, and Emma was left alone with Killian, who was silent and still staring at the door.

"I think it might be best for you to have some time alone, Killian."

He didn't reply, but he just nodded and watched as she left his house.

Killian downed his fourth cup of rum. Yes, he felt guilty because he didn't properly say goodbye to his best friend. But, the amount of guilt he felt for that was no match for the amount of guilt he felt for the incident at the party.

April 2010

People continued to flood into his house, some he knew, some he didn't.

"Senior year, baby!" Killian yelled through the hallway of his house.

He threw beers across the crowd and laughed to himself. He didn't know where Emma was, he hadn't know for the past hour. All he knew was that she was still there. Killian threw the last beer up in the air and caught it himself, before cutting into it and gulping the entire thing down.

His parents left the night before for a week's vacation in Hawaii, and he chose to stay home. He had promised not to throw a party or misbehave, but what senior doesn't throw a party? It was the end of the year, prom was coming up, graduation was nearing, and summer was close. All the right reasons to throw a party.

The crowd cheered as he threw the empty beer can on the ground and jumped off the dining room table. Killian wiped his mouth with his forearm and then ran his free hand through his dark hair. He greeted some of the people who just walked in and made his way to the backyard to search for Emma. In search of her, he bumped into his friend, Ripley Smee.

"Smee!" he patted his friend's back and started a conversation with him.

Inside, however, was where Emma was. She slipped down the stairs and rolled her eyes at the crowd of people in her boyfriend's house. She slipped past them and grabbed a beer for herself - the first of the night. She had already been there for a few hours, but this is when the fun was just beginning. Emma made her way through the crowd once more and sat down on the bottom stair, facing the door. She caught sight of one of Killian's friends, Lacey French, who came and sat down beside her. She was clearly drunk as hell.

"Hello, Emma." Lacey said as she hiccupped.

"Hi, Lacey. What are you drinking?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow. She gulped down the rest of her beer and threw it in the nearby trashcan without standing up.

Lacey held the cup in front of Emma's face and said, "It's a mixture of vodka, beer, and rum, with a secret ingredient from Will."

"Secret ingredient?"

Lacey nodded, "Try some."

Emma shook her head and stood up, "No thanks."

Lacey stood up beside her and held the cup even closer to Emma's face, "One sip."

Emma shook her head again, before she heard the front door open once more behind them. She turned around and caught a glance at a familiar face walk inside the house, her mouth dropping and her eyes widening.

It was Neal. Neal Cassidy.

She turned towards Lacey, who was confused but still determined to have Emma take a sip of Will's famous concoction.

Emma eyed the red cup, and Lacey said, "It will relieve allllllll of your stress."

She stared down the red cup and then turned back to see Neal coming towards them, before she grabbed the cup from Lacey's hand, downed the entire thing, and ran through the crowd in search of Killian.

She was in such a state of shock, that all that mattered was finding Killian.

Emma never spoke of it. Never had she told Killian that when Neal left back in eighth grade, she had felt something for him. But she was with Killian now, so it didn't matter. However, when she saw Neal walk in after four years of not seeing him, all the feelings she had hidden away for so long came rushing back. She trudged through the dining room and out the backyard door. She scanned the yard and found Killian talking to Smee. When she started for them, she was tapped on the shoulder by Lacey once more, who had a full cup of the same concoction.

"Will said you looked stressed," she smiled, "He said to drink this."

Before Emma could shake her head no, she saw Neal behind Lacey, heading to come outside. In utter confusion, she took the drink and swallowed it down, coughing afterwards and then pushing Lacey into Neal, before she ran to Killian.

She tried desperately to make it through the crowd of people and over to Killian, but whatever she had just drank was really getting to her. Emma fell to her knees and grabbed her head, which was pounding to the beat of the music. She shut her eyes tightly and ran her fingers through her long golden locks, before she suddenly felt water in her eyes. She opened her wet eyes and looked up to search for Killian, and hopefully find him, but her vision was becoming blurrier, her head was becoming more pained, and her eyes were drowning with more tears, by the minute.

Emma felt a hand wrap around her arm, helping her stand and steady her body. She couldn't see who the hell was helping her. She quickly yelled a faint, "Killian!", which didn't really go that far considering the fact that she was drugged with some dangerous substance and some stranger was holding her by the arm. When no one answered her call for her boyfriend, she began to cry again, but then she instantly felt lips on hers. It was a more savory kiss than a quick one - one that seemed to stop time and problems. She let herself cave into the kiss, wrapping her arms around whoever it was and pushing her body towards them.

"Killian, is that you?" she said, "Will gave me this drink and it was drugged and I was looking for you-"

"Shhhh."

The hand that was tangled in her hair only moments ago, wrapped around her waist and guided her towards the door to go into the house.

By that time, Killian was finished with Smee and his search for Emma continued. He headed through the crowd and towards the back door, where he spotted Emma leaning on a black-haired stranger. Before Killian could get to them, they were inside the house and beginning for the stairs. He ran helplessly through the crowd, something had just kicked his adrenaline and he was determined to get her safe. When he made it to the stairs, he could see neither of them in his sight. He knocked on the wall of doors until he found the one to his parent's bedroom was locked. He forcefully banged on the door until he pushed it open, revealing a sight he'd never expected to see.

It was Neal. Neal Cassidy. His best friend from sixth grade, who moved away to New York and made him jealous over a hug with Emma. He was sat on the bed and leaned over Emma's body, which was now only covered in a silky nightgown his mother had worn once or twice. Neal's right hand was brushing through her hair and his left was around her forearm. Her eyes were shut, and Killian could tell that she was either in pain, super drunk, or something happened. His body wouldn't move, he was unable to rush into the room and punch Neal, who he thought was his best friend. He hated himself so much for the fact that he couldn't move to go help his girlfriend and all the terror that was happening right before his eyes was still going on. Neal bent down and kissed Emma's lips lightly, and that's what struck him. Killian bolted into the room and yanked Neal off the bed, pulling him out of the bedroom and into the hallway. He held him up against the wall and yelled, "What the hell?"

"Killian, you don't understand! Let me explain-"

"I'll pass on all the heated details, mate." Killian said, raising his fist.

Neal guarded his face, "It's not what you think, man! I wasn't trying anything-"

"It sure as hell looked like it." Killian punched Neal's stomach. He let out a wretched sound, more painful than the pain he was enduring it seemed.

Killian dropped him to the floor and pushed him towards the stairs, "Why are you even here?"

"I came to visit, I'm on spring break at school in the city. I go back tomorrow." Neal spit out.

"And you thought it was best to come here and try to get with my girlfriend?"

Neal shook his head, "That's not my motive at all! Killian, listen to me, I didn't do anything and I wasn't planning on it either."

"Just get out. The only truth I know is what I saw with my own eyes. Don't ever come back," Killian said, "Get out."

Neal groaned as he punched the wall, "But-", and then he just gave up and left the party. Killian rushed back into the bedroom and right to Emma's side, before he rubbed her arms and kissed her forehead. She opened her eyes and whispered with a smile, "Killian?"

"Mhm, love?"

"Why don't you always kiss like that?"

He was infuriated with Neal, but he had to make sure she didn't know it was him. Then the dumb, stupid idea hit him. And he responded, "I never knew you liked it that way. It was something new."

From that moment and to this day, Emma never knew that it was Neal who kissed her and did whatever he did behind that locked door. It wasn't Killian.

The guilt that built up over the years of keeping this secret was strong enough to break them apart. And it did. The guilt was part if the reason he left for Europe.

And the guilt was also part of the reason he came back.

A/N: Woah. Review please?