A/N: Sorry for the wait!
1) Set in the beginning of Ironman 2 right after the Senate hearing
2) Thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: 4StarkObsessed, KiwisS, Diane, Golden feathers Edward, h, and cara-tanaka.
I'll reply via PM to those of you I can, and to those I cannot, I'll just say here, thank you all for all the encouragement!
Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging
3) Once again, Diane, thanks a million for all your support, the very in-depth reviews, as well as doing a great job explaining what I'm thinking (or should be thinking) better than I can possibly do it. Your insights about Tony and Loki are very very helpful.
4) We will see occasionally Loki's predispositions and past sometimes get in the way of the bonds he is forming and how he deals with that, so I hope nobody's dissapointed (I think it is an issue he would have to face).
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When Tony returns from his mandatory meeting with some kind of ruling class – apparently governments are equally irritating in all realms - , Loki is waiting impatiently for him, and leaps up to Tony's desk when Tony sits down.
It no longer bothers him when Tony reaches out and scoops him up, placing him on his lap, and saying affectionately as he runs his hands through Loki's fur, meeting his emerald gaze openly:
"You missed me, Loki?... I missed you too."
Loki cannot speak, so instead he opts for rubbing his cheek-glands against Tony's hands, marking the mortal as his own, yet he stills as he notices that the bitter scent of the palladium in Tony's blood has gotten stronger, and though he has come to see the mortal as his own, it cannot save Tony from a certain death.
Then Tony claps his hands, calling out to the air:
"Wake up, Daddy's home."
In answer, the house comes to life, and JARVIS returns Tony's greeting, though Loki does not pay much attention to what the computer is saying since he's too busy with the sudden realization that Tony's use of the term daddy in referring to himself might not in fact be simply a figure of speech. JARVIS's level of sentience clearly surpasses the state of the art for artificial intelligence on Midgard – and Loki knows no-one better than Tony Stark to take such a giant leap into the future.
Any doubts he may have had as to the identity of Jarvis's creator vanish as the computer says: "… and may I say how refreshing it is to finally see you in a video with your clothing on, sir." - only Tony could have possible imbued a computer with that kind of humor.
Tony laughs in response to what his computer – his son in every way that matters - says, and it is a sound Loki wishes he could hear more often, knowing that in a short while it will never be heard again. He sinks dejectedly lower as Jarvis goes on, ever truthfully:
"Blood toxicity, twenty-four percent. It appears that the continued use of the ironman suit is accelerating your condition….Another core has been depleted."
The computer's next words are no surprise to Loki who already knew this outcome would be inevitable – yet it does nothing to lessen the pain of the blow:
"I have run simulations on every known element, and none can serve as a viable replacement for the palladium core…."
Not for the first time Loki wishes that JARVIS could lie – lie and say that he has not finished trying possibilities, because at least then Tony would be able to hold onto hope – the belief that they will find something that can save him. Now even that flicker of a possibility is gone, and despite Tony's apparent stoicism, when Loki looks up to see the mortal's unguarded expression, the resigned sorrow in it is palpable.
This silent repressed grief and resignation to his fate actually hurts deeper than any other reaction Tony could have had, and Loki finds himself unable to watch, so instead he turns to the screen, only to find himself face to face with a reflection of Tony's chest – now marred by black lines of poison seeping under his skin. Somehow this makes everything more real, and desperate to escape the devastation he feels creeping into his own chest, Loki leaps to the floor and runs away.
He dimly registers the rest of the conversation between Tony and JARVIS, but when Tony says "Mute", effectively stopping JARVIS – his son – mid sentence, Loki feels old resentment well up within him. With his sudden re-evaluation of Tony as an actual father, Loki cannot help but be reminded of the many times Odin and for that matter Thor had brushed off his advice, and the flash of anger and burning bitterness that fills his heart makes him forget momentarily about everything else. He had never fit in – never belonged on Asgard – any more than a computer did among humans, and Loki finds himself wondering if Tony is actually any better than the so-called family he left behind.
More analogies are drawn as Pepper accuses Tony of egoism, and as of to prove her point, he hangs up on the wall a framed poster of Ironman. This time the analogies are with his not-brother, and the resentment only burns fiercer within Loki, yet the flames are suddenly extinguished when an exasperated Tony exclaims:
"Pepper, you're not listening to me, I'm trying to make you CEO! Why won't you let me?"
As a shocked Pepper manages to ask: "Have you been drinking?", Loki finds himself wishing that it was only that – just some drunken fantasy, instead of the bitter reality that Tony was dying - and passing his company to the only person who he could trust to not betray his wishes.
Unsurprisingly, Tony does not tell Pepper his reasons, and perhaps she is so shocked she cannot see what to Loki are clear signs of a dying man putting his affairs in order – or perhaps she is used to her boss doing things than no-one could have ever reasonably expected. Whatever the reason, Loki knows as he listens to Tony's words that he is evading giving a reason for his decision, protecting Pepper from having to suffer the bitter truth with him – and he can no-longer feel resentment towards Tony for silencing JARVIS earlier.
For the first time in ages, guilt washes over Loki – guilt for being so quick to condemn Tony, for letting his predispositions and incomplete knowledge mar his understanding, and as he thinks back to Pepper's words, he realizes that he is not the only one who has made that mistake.
Loki knows that Tony might seem arrogant where his superhero persona is concerned, but he realizes now that the mortal has spent most of his life making decisions and taking actions that now haunt him – and this dramatic change of profession at the end is in truth all he has left to be proud of, the only legacy he is leaving behind that he actually wants to be remembered by.
Loki had at first agreed with Pepper in her assessment of Tony's motivations for the Expo – not for showing off his inventions since the projects in the Expo were actually not Stark-tech – but for showing off his financial power in funding it. Now he realizes that the expo is Tony's last effort to better the world – a last push ahead to those who will remain behind and shape the future because he will not be among them…. and suddenly the meaning of the opening speech that Tony had prepared for the Expo becomes painfully clear - "…It's about legacy… it's about what we choose to leave behind for future generations…".
Even then Tony had known that he would find no replacement for Palladium to save him, and in light of this realization. Loki feels the last of his resentment melt away and be replaced with a hollow ache in his chest.
After Pepper leaves, Loki watches listlessly from a corner as Tony packs away the machinery, transforming his shop into living quarters of sorts, and those seemingly innocent actions speak more strongly than perhaps anything else of the fact that Tony has given up hope, and he is resigned to his death.
As he lets himself drift off into sleep where he can forget the bitterness of reality, Loki realizes that without the truth which as a cat he is privy too, he would be as wrong about Tony as Pepper is, perhaps worse, he would be as wrong about Tony as the world is –and for the first time Loki wonders if he has ever misjudged others the same way.
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