Hey guys! Thank you sooo much for reviews, favs and follows, means a lot like always. Here's a new chapter, just for you!
"What happened?" Pepper asked, still upset
"I don't want to go back" Tony fiddled with his fingers to avoid eye contact, because he might've died if he made that.
"What? You did this to yourself!?" Pepper hissed at him, she had changed from scared to furious in seconds.
"Not... not exactly on purpose... it sort of... i-it itches" Tonys eyes was still fixated on his hands, he knew that what he said wouldn't ease Pepper's mind.
"Tony, we're going back, no matter if you are fully healed or not. Either you get back there yourself or I will force you!" Her CEO voice was now turned on.
"And how exactly are you going to do that?" Tony asked cockily, finally looking up at her.
"Either I do it or Fury does it, your choice" She crossed her arms and waited for him to answer, it took a few seconds but only because his anger needed time to evolve enough for him to say what he wanted.
"You've got no idea what this is like! It's like... like I'm not allowed to be happy, to have a good time, to live my life" Pepper got taken aback by how angry he seemed, and he saw it, but he continued anyways. "My life was great, my career was on top, and then Afghanistan happened. I got home, I became Iron Man, saved the world and then Obie happened. I fixed it, revealed that I was in fact Iron Man, got even more famous and had a great time and then the palladium poisoning, Whiplash and Hammer happened. That got fixed too and the best thing that has happened in my life this far happened... I got you..." He pointed at her and took a little break. "We built the Stark Tower and then Manhattan happened, that worked out fine too and I got friends during the process... for the first time in Idon'tknowhowmanyyears I got real friends that I trust, but then I got anxious and I had nightmares all the time... all the time. We fixed that in the end and I was really happy for about four weeks before Harlan happened. Finally I can handle the anxiety or claustrophobia attacks, call it what you want, and now you want to drag me back to New York where there's no guarantee for me to be able to handle them. Even the nightmares may get worse" Tony was breathing as if he had just been running a marathon, and his whole body was shaking of arousal.
Pepper's anger vanished at once when she heard his side of the story... the reality, but it came back just as quickly. When you were around Tony, you had to be angry if you wanted him to listen, and she would not be gentle with him.
"Anthony Edward Stark, you don't know that! There's no guarantee for anything in life, not even us being alive tomorrow. You need to take this step by step and deal with what's happening if and when it's happening, not assume that everything is going to plunge down before you've even tried" Pepper talked to him as if he was an ignorant, little child, and she didn't spare him for anything.
Tony fell silent, but the anger hadn't quiet left his body yet and he was still breathing fast. It wasn't fair, not at all. Finally he had told her everything about how he actually felt it, and she knew that he hated to tell about his problems and other things that made him appear weak and vulnerable. Wasn't this what she wanted? If not, then ok, he would go back to keeping everything a "secret", maybe it was better that way anyways, then Pepper didn't have to worry.
"Rather get away from here before Fury comes then... seeing him more than once every second year makes me sick, twice in one week would be enough to give me a blackout" Tony tried to make a joke out of it, something that probably didn't please Pepper as she just shook her head and walked away.
He thought they had sorted this out now, had she just been kind to him because she had pitied him? It wasn't a lie that it had started itching, but he might've just scratched a little bit more than necessary. He couldn't understand that it was so terribly wrong being a bit scared, and for once actually tell her instead of just suppressing it. Tony realized that it would just be easier not to think about it, so he just started buttoning his shirt and put his socks on. What would he do without a helpful Happy who gave him everything he needed? In this case, clean clothes... Tony tried to stay up from the bed to put on his shoes and go outside to the Rolls Royce, but mid air he fell down onto it again. Ok, so maybe scratching it all up wasn't such a good idea after all. He slid over the bed towards the wall and supported himself on it as he did another brave attempt at standing up. Ha was a bit shaky at first, but found at that it was just standing up that was the hard thing, not actually walking around with it. Tony was tired even though he had been sleeping very well the whole night through, why was it that Pepper always had to be so early on everything? He couldn't remember the last time she had slept longer than seven, maybe once in a while she would sleep until seven fifteen, but that was only on very rare occasions. The sneakers stood there waiting for him in the hallway and he lazily slipped into them and walked out in the fresh winter air. You could've brought me a jacket, pal, he thought as he shivered, running to the car. A flow of warmth hit him when he opened the door and he hurriedly sat down and closed the door. Pepper came shortly after and then Happy drove slowly away from the place.
"I'm so sorry for-" Pepper and Tony said together, and then they changed confused looks.
"We are so sorry for everything that has happened... You have been so very reliable and patient all this time despite what happened to you, and we want you to know that we're grateful for it" Tony finished what they had started.
"Happy, you've been very brave all this time, it must have been a huge strain for you, what happened that night and going right back as head of security afterwards. If there is anything we can do for you..." Pepper felt that Tony's apologize was too formal, perhaps what Happy needed was just someone to trust.
"I'll let you know, thank you boss" Happy replied shortly and focused on the driving.
Pepper and Tony once again changed looks, but this time it was a concerned one. Tony just shrugged and turned his attention to the window, just as Pepper did too.
Someone had to fix that elevator, and it had to happen right now. Walking the remaining stairs up to the apartment was a waste of time. Fixing the workshop would be first priority though, Tony wasn't overly fond of having only three walls in there. 9 am. Tony opened the door into the apartment, finding it completely clean and neat, but so cold that being outside wasn't really that a big difference.
"Dear god!" Pepper exclaimed and wrapped herself tighter into her coat, even Happy started shivering.
Sure, the whole front wall was off downstairs, how could they think that the place would be possible to live in?
"Weird how the e-exact same words crossed my-my mind-d too..." Tony's teeth were chattering. "Well th-there would be no r-rea-s-son to stay her-e" All of them quickly went out to the stairs again and shut the door. "Well, seems like this wasn't such a good idea after all!" Tony lowered his shoulders and started half running half jumping down the stairs.
"There's other apartments!" Pepper yelled after him, a little smirk passing her lips as she understood what he wanted but that she would win the eventual discussion.
Tony stopped in the middle of the stair and sighed loudly before he turned slowly around.
"Okay, okay, let's just find another one in this maze of a building then" Now his head hung low and he just shuffled down the rest of the stairs to the elevator to show his opinion.
Pepper had to laugh a little to herself, he was adorable, indeed.
A sharp ring from a telephone cut of his concentration which was directed at all the papers on the brown wooden table. Stern sighed loudly and cursed himself for not plugging out that phone several hours ago, he would never get finished with his work.
"Yes" He said a bit annoyed.
"Twelve hours, I'm going to have that answer within twelve hours, or else it's going to be a trial" Stern straightened himself up a bit and cleared his throat when he understood who he was talking with.
"I'll ask for an appointment right away, Sir"
"You better" And then there was a buzzing sound.
Stern leaned back in his chair and ran his hands over his head. He had to get that appointment, he couldn't afford being humiliated in the court like that one more time. He took a deep breath, dialled the number and picked up the receiver. There was three rings and then a female voice spoke up.
"Stark Industries, how can I help you?"
"This is Senator Stern, I need to talk to Mr. Stark immediately" He replied with his normal, confident business voice.
"Yes, of course, I'll put him on the line" She almost sounded a bit frightened, but she said it with a firm voice anyhow.
Stern didn't have to wait for long before the voice that he so utterly hated the owner of was talking. It didn't mean anything to him what he said or tried to say, he was going to get straight to the point.
"I need to make an appointment with you, just a little meeting about something very important" Stern cut Tony off midsentence when he was talking about something with the suit.
"Yes, I've been warned about that, and I'll gladly show up to make a fool out of you once more" Tony almost hated the man as much as he "sort of hated" Fury, but it was fun teasing him anyways.
"I don't think you understand Mr. Stark, should we take it my place or your place?" This confused Tony, a private meeting? It also made him curious, what was he planning on now?
"My place, my apartment to be more precise" Stern smirked, almost flattered about the fact that Tony wanted to take it that far when he didn't even know what he was up to.
"Fine, I'll be there at four" And with that he hung up and started making a plan on how to succeed.
"It isn't a question, it's more of a demand that you come over to our side"
"If you haven't noticed yet, I have a lovely girlfriend" Tony was very satisfied with his answer when he saw the Senator grit his teeth.
"What we mean Stark is that we need for you to leave the... Avengers... and become one of us, a part of the US government" Stern laid extra pressure on the word Avengers, as if he wanted to express how much he despised them.
"I'd rather spare myself the humiliation, thank you" Tony walked nonchalantly towards a cabinet with windows, displaying several expensive drinks. He poured himself and his beloved guest a scotch and out it down on the coffee table placed between two brown leather chairs. "It's not of any interest to me, or Stark Industries, to become a part of the US army and government through the suit. When you can't have the suit, you obviously can't get me and the suit" Tony poured the whole drink into his mouth in one sip, leaving the Senator very little impressed.
"As said, , this is not a question, it's a demand" A file was placed on the table, stamped with two words saying Iron Man.
"And if I refuse?" Tony flinched as he said so, some anx... claustrophobia attack threatening pictures showed up in his mind. Water, the arc reactor, a horrible feeling of being held down, drowning.
"We can give you protection and psychological help, Iron Man, and after the recent events I've understood that you might need just that" A sceptical look was sent Stern's way, and Tony picked up the file.
Information about everything that had happened the last few days, all since Harlan and until the night he blew himself up, was written in black and white on the papers resting in Tony's hands. Worst of all... the fact that he killed Harlan was there too, and it put him out completely. He was threatened into leaving the Avengers... At first he didn't want to become one of them, but they were a team now, and they'd been through a whole lot together now, leaving them wasn't an option. What would they think of him then? The reality slowly came clear to Tony, there wasn't any way out of this unless he wanted for everyone to know his darkest secrets and destroy the already worn thin relationship he had with Pepper.
"I need time to think" Was everything Tony managed to say, his misty eyes glued to the file.
"You've got eight hours Stark" The man didn't even Mr him this time, he just grabbed the file harshly and turned on his heel, he was gone before Tony even noticed.
It was either turning himself and the suit into the US army, no longer being a private super hero that saves the world, or it was destroying his whole life, reputation and loosing the most important thing in his life: Pepper. He knew that he couldn't do this alone, Fury had to help him somehow, he just had a feeling that told him he would be doing this without him. Bruce, he would help him, yes, he was one of his best friends, of course he would help. But how? Oh, never mind, this is a fight you have to deal with on your own. He could just get the file again and burn it, but they would have copies, of course. Stern was an idiot, but not naive, he would have copies. Delete all evidence. This couldn't happen, he would not work for the US government, then he would rather destroy the suit and kill himself. They would use him as a toy, a toy to play with the other countries with, threaten them to back away. He would be nothing more than another weapon to them, another weapon no one else would have. And if they kept the file they could push him into letting scientists put their dirty paws on what was keeping him alive. And then he would be trapped again, he would be forced to, threatened and trapped into coming with them, and if he refused they would probably pursue him and then go public with the information. One, two, three, four... ten. Tony let out one long, shaky breath and was about to go pour another scotch when he felt that immense pain in his side again. Banner.
"Did you know that we have feelings too?" He talked in his low, hushed voice that always soothed Tony a bit if he was stressed.
"I was egoistic and didn't think of anyone else than me, as usual, right?" He sent Bruce an apologizing smile. "Yikes!" Tony hissed as the needle went deep down into his skin.
Lucky for Tony that Bruce had gone in exile and operated as a doctor under less... fortunate circumstances. They didn't have access to any special equipment for patching up a guy right now, but a needle, thread and some rinsing fluid would work. His hands were very steady, and he did a nice job, who needed hospitals when they had Bruce Banner? Even though sometimes Bruce would be the reason you had to go to the hospital and get checked... Tony really appreciated the relationship he'd got with Bruce. He had two real friends: Rhodey and Happy, a third one was very welcome into his life. They were so much alike, both trying to escape their past by turning into something else. At the same time they were nothing alike at all, which fit perfect, because the very energetic and childish Tony Stark turned into a calm and behaved man when he was around Bruce Banner, and the whole atmosphere was a delight to be a part of.
"He wants me to become one of them" Tony suddenly blurted out.
"mmm... what do you mean?" Bruce was concentrated about his work.
"Senator asshole, he wants me to resign the Avengers Initiative and become the governments secret weapon" Tony explained as if it was the most natural and harmless thing in the whole wide world.
"Which you won't do, of course..." Bruce didn't really pay that much attention to him, it just sounded like small talks in his ears.
"I'm afraid I don't have any choice" A sad whisper escaped Tony's lips as if when he said it out loud he finally confirmed it to himself too.
Bruce dropped the needle and took of his glasses. His head tilted to the right and he watched Tony with a grimace, uncertain of what to feel.
"What?" A little glimpse of green struck his eyes.
So, I was wondering about something... Do you want someone to appear in this story that isn't there yet? (no crossover!) Because I was thinking of Rhodey, but I dont know...? Just come with suggestions and input and I'll see what I can do with your wishes. Hope for the next chapter to be up in 3-4 days. Love you my faithful readers!