Disclaimer - The Mentalist belongs to Bruno Heller and CBS. Not me. Obviously.

A/N - Hello my faithful and wonderful readers! Just to let you know, this chapter was written to the music of Imagine Dragons, Mumford and Sons and David Bowie, which might account for any choppiness which may or may not be there. I really did try hard to keep Lisbon and Jane in character, but I've read this through a couple of times now, and I'm still not entirely sure if it flows very well. It was a lot of fun to write though, and I hope you enjoy reading it!

~ Chapter Twelve ~

Doctor's Orders

As she walked down the hospital corridor, busy with people all trying to make the best of the visiting hours, Lisbon thought back to the last day or so. It felt like she'd barely had time to take a breath, and truthfully, exhaustion was beginning to wear down on her.

As soon as they'd found Jane and Liam alive in that abandoned office building, they'd rushed both of them to the hospital. Rigsby had been right – Liam had been okay – but he'd been held overnight just as a precaution. Jane on the other hand…

Her consultant had broken two ribs, cracked another, dislocated his shoulder, and had suffered what seemed like hundreds of cuts and bruises all over his body. The most worrying part for the medical team, however, had been his concussion which had had the doctors very concerned over whether Jane would even wake up at all…

Lisbon took a deep breath as she rounded the corner to Jane's room. Thankfully, she reminded herself, Jane seemed to have made it through the danger period and she'd experienced first-hand last night, when she'd visited Jane for the first time after his rescue, that he was still well in control of his very extensive mental abilities.

Briefly, she wondered if he remembered those two words he'd said to her just after he'd passed out, before the ambulance had even arrived. Love you. Part of her hoped that he had, but the much more sensible, rational, and terrified part of her hoped that particular phrase had been wiped from his mind altogether.

She hadn't had chance to ask him about it yesterday, mainly because he'd seemed too out of it and in far too much pain. And today, though she'd been told by the doctors that Jane was feeling better and that he was well on the mend, Lisbon hadn't so far had the free time to visit him to see it for herself. She'd been too busy working with the team to make sure they had enough evidence not only to get the goons who'd kidnapped Jane, but also the man who'd ordered it.

As she made her way slowly over to the room where Jane had been placed yesterday, Lisbon felt the full weight of everything that had happened over the last few days, everything since that dreaded phone call from Jane. It was only her mind, forcing her thoughts on the fact that both Jane and the kid were fine and relatively healthy, that kept her sane.

"Mr Jane! Will you stop that!?"

"Only if you stop that!"

The voices interrupted her thoughts causing her heart to sink down to her stomach. What now…?

"Stop it!"

"You stop it, you madwoman!"

Lisbon quickened her pace, stopping only when she was right outside Jane's room. With a deep breath she swung open the door, and was greeted with a sight that would have made her laugh had she not been so worried.

Jane was lying in his bed, bandages, sling and all, apparently fighting over an IV that the nurse, red-faced and clearly fuming, was trying to fix back into his arm.

"Jane…?"

Jane's head snapped towards her. "Lisbon! Just the woman I've been waiting for!" He glared at the nurse, then turned to frown at Lisbon. "They won't give me back my shoes."

"Your shoes?" she repeated dumbly, glancing down at his hospital gown clad body. The nurse took the distraction of her arrival to yank the IV lead from Jane's hand and finally fix it properly.

"Yes, my shoes," Jane confirmed seriously, ignoring the nurse's ministrations for the moment. "Come on, Lisbon. Keep up."

She ignored that. "Jane, why the hell do you want your shoes? You're not even wearing pants."

The nurse scoffed, placing the IV back on the line and making her way past Lisbon towards the door.

"Don't ask me," muttered the nurse as she left, barely giving Lisbon a glance and ignoring Jane altogether. Lisbon turned questioningly towards Jane but he just plastered a smile on his face, and she shook her suspicion away. The nurse was probably just having a bad day, she reasoned. Probably.

Doing her best to ignore the strange encounter, Lisbon closed the door behind the nurse as she turned back to Jane with her arms folded. "So?"

"My feet are cold?" he tried, but she wasn't fooled in the least. God, the man was ridiculous. Bruised, battered, no doubt traumatised from the kidnapping, and yet still completely ridiculous.

"You want to escape, don't you," accused Lisbon, and his far-too-innocent smile told her everything she needed to know. "Dammit, Jane."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jane said with a smirk that made her want to punch him right in the nose. "And just for the record, I am perfectly capable of escaping without my shoes."

"Try it, and I'll make sure you never see your precious shoes again," Lisbon warned, enjoying the look of surprise and irritation on his face. It was a rare event that she got one over on him.

Surprisingly, Jane didn't seem much in the mood for a verbal fight, and Lisbon felt a twinge of guilt as she took a closer look at his condition. Though he was all smiles on the outside, Lisbon could see the lines of pain cling slightly to his eyes, and he looked even more exhausted than usual.

"Well, clearly I've met my match," Jane sighed dramatically, breaking Lisbon from her thoughts. "Any idea how much longer I'm going to be stuck here for?"

"They haven't told you?" Lisbon asked, surprised. Surely someone would have let him know what was going on…

The sheepish, almost guilty, expression on Jane's face though – something that would usually be undetectable - immediately sent her suspicious mind running. What the hell had he got himself into now…?

The smile dropped from Jane's face. "Don't be mad -".

"Dammit, Jane," she cursed, stilling the excuses in his throat. God, why couldn't he just behave for once in his life?

"It's not my fault," he continued, but Lisbon ignored him.

"That nurse was angry with you," Lisbon realised, finally making sense of the odd behaviour she'd noticed on her way in.

The blank expression on Jane's face certainly didn't bode well for her stress levels, and she half-considered leaving there and then and letting him deal with it himself. In fact, the only reason she didn't do that was the fact that, despite the smiles and jokes, he was clearly miserable and in pain.

Lisbon groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose to push away her impending headache. "God, what did you do?

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," Jane replied smoothly, a small frown on his face as he observed her closely. She didn't believe it for a second.

"Dammit, Jane," Lisbon cursed.

"Lisbon – "

"No, Jane," she interrupted irritably. God, this was just what she needed. "Tell me, now. What the hell did you do?"

"I didn't do anything," Jane assured her. He dropped his gaze. "Well, I didn't do anything bad."

"Jane…"

"Well, I didn't do anything that bad."

"Dammit," Lisbon cursed again. "You're an idiot, Jane."

He pouted pathetically, almost making the bruises on his face stand out more, but she was too annoyed with him at the moment to care.

"I thought I was the hero?" he asked with a frown.

"Not anymore," Lisbon told him irritably. "Before, you saved a child. Now, you're just acting like one."

Jane looked faintly hurt by that, but Lisbon refused to be swayed by it. He always did this, she argued to herself. He was a terrible patient, and every time he had ended up in hospital, Jane had done something to cause trouble. Just because it had taken him a bit longer than usual this time, didn't mean that she hadn't been expecting it.

"You don't even know what I did," he pointed out.

"Did you hypnotise one of them?" Lisbon guessed, not really giving him any time to explain himself. "Or mess around with their patients? Or maybe you just escaped without a trace, leaving them to scour the entire hospital looking for you?"

She looked at his expectantly, but he simply closed his mouth stubbornly and turned away slightly.

"I don't want to tell you now," Jane replied, raising his chin. "You're being grouchy."

"I am not, Jane," Lisbon retorted, only belatedly realising that she was just proving his point with her reaction.

With that in mind, she made an extra effort to calm down, though the smirk that was growing on his face, quickly replacing the frown, was doing nothing to help her temper.

"Anyway," Lisbon began, before Jane could say anything, "Even if I am being grouchy, it's only because you're acting like a complete child. You've only been stuck in the hospital for a day, and already the nurses hate you."

"Come on now, Lisbon," Jane argued. "That's not entirely fair. I was perfectly well behaved yesterday."

"You were drugged up yesterday, Jane," Lisbon told him. "With the concussion and all the pain meds they had you on, you didn't even know which way was up."

"I still could have easily caused trouble if I'd wanted to," Jane argued petulantly. "I chose to be good instead, and this is the thanks I get…"

"Sheep dip," Lisbon replied. "Just cut the crap, Jane."

"Fine, but I stand by what I said," Jane answered, raising his chin again. "I didn't do anything wrong."

Lisbon saw the sincerity in his eyes then, and in that moment decided that she would at least hear him out. Giving him one last glare to make sure he'd understood her point, Lisbon took a seat in one of the typically uncomfortable chairs provided by the hospital.

"I'll be the judge of that," Lisbon said, leaning back on her chair as she crossed her arms, determined not to take any of his bullshit.

"Well," Jane began cautiously, his smile dropping slightly, but not completely, "I might have given a couple of nurses the slip yesterday, but I assure you, Lisbon my dear, it was all in the name of a good cause."

"You went to visit Liam," Lisbon said bluntly, and was again pleased to note a hint of surprise in his expression. It might have been his condition, but he seemed easier to read than usual. That, and it was precisely what she would have done in his position.

"Well, not…entirely," Jane replied slowly.

"Come on, Jane," Lisbon sighed. "Out with it."

"I threw him a party," Jane answered, his chin raised defiantly once again.

"You threw him a party," Lisbon repeated disbelievingly, not sure whether she should laugh or yell. At the moment, she was definitely leaning towards the latter.

"Yes," came Jane's serious reply.

"In his room?"

"Yes," Jane replied, as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with his answer. "The Doctors say he's not allowed to leave yet."

"God, Jane," Lisbon groaned, rubbing a hand over her tired face. "Why? Did you at least ask the father's permission first?"

"That old goat?" Jane scoffed. "You know, he actually had the nerve to tell me to stay away from Liam. He said, and I quote, 'I don't want him to be reminded of such a traumatic event'. What a ridiculous man. As if the kid could forget."

Lisbon thought Jane might have a point there but she refused to tell him so. "Even if that is true, did you have to throw him a party?"

"Yes," Jane replied simply. "He was sad. Upset. Unhappy. I wanted to cheer him up. It worked like a charm too."

Lisbon frowned. It sounded exactly like something he would do. She had absolutely no trouble believing it, and yet she still couldn't quite shake the thought that he wasn't quite telling her everything. He was still hiding something...

"If you did him good," questioned Lisbon, determined to get to the bottom of it, "Why was that nurse so angry with you? Surely she could understand..."

"Well," Jane replied cautiously, "I had to make it a proper party, you see."

Lisbon frowned, still not seeing where he was going with this. What on Earth had he done…?

Apparently Jane sensed her confusion however, because he immediately continued, though the cautious look in his eyes didn't help her growing annoyance with him. She knew he'd been hiding something. Damn that man.

"Anyway," Jane continued tentatively. "I…ah…I invited a few people."

"Jane," Lisbon began dangerously, finally starting to see where he was going. "Who did you invite?"

"The paediatrics ward," Jane said, tensing as if he half-expected her to punch him. An action she actually was considering despite his recent situation…

She settled for a glare instead. "The entire paediatrics ward?"

"Yep," Jane replied unrepentantly, an irritating smile returning to his face once it was clear that she was refraining herself from actual physical violence. "Some of the nurses seemed a bit put out when all the children vanished from their beds, but it was all a bit of an overreaction if you ask me."

"You're an idiot, Jane," Lisbon told him, but Jane just shrugged in reply.

"It was worth it," Jane sighed wistfully. "It was a great party. We had music, I did some magic tricks. I even managed to score us some cake. Anyway, what was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to act like an adult."

"Meh," he shrugged. "Where's the fun in that? Anyway, no harm done and all that. Lighten up, Lisbon. Turn that frown, upside down – "

"Shut up, Jane," she muttered, though she couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth. A smile that soon turned into a frown when she thought about how on earth he had even managed to get out of bed…

"Jane," she began, "How…I mean, how did you do it? What about your ribs? And your shoulder?"

"Pain is all in the mind, Lisbon," Jane replied, tapping his forehead using his uninjured arm. "And my mind, the doctor has officially declared, is running at full capacity. They x-rayed the old noggin this morning."

"So you think you'll be able to leave soon?" she asked, still annoyed slightly with how much trouble he had already caused in the hospital. The sooner he could leave, the better for everyone involved.

"I've told you already Lisbon," Jane replied. "Since the x-ray, no one's told me anything. I'm not sure they entirely trust me anymore. "

"That's your own fault," Lisbon told him unsympathetically, but Jane simply shrugged.

"Could you ask for me?" Jane begged. "Please, I really don't think I can stay here another minute longer. And I really do want my shoes back."

"Fine, Jane," Lisbon sighed, pulling herself up from the seat. "I'll ask. Though I'm not sure they'll be able to tell me anything since we're not related."

"Sure they will," Jane replied unconcernedly. "You're down as my next of kin."

"I am?" Lisbon asked, eyebrows raised in surprise.

Jane shrugged. "Who else? They didn't bother to contact you this time because you were already here."

"Oh," Lisbon replied, not sure what else to say. "Well, I guess I'll go and find out then."

"You do that," Jane said quietly. "I'm going to have a nap."

He closed his eyes, and Lisbon took that as her cue to leave. Though he might say that pain was all in the mind, Lisbon could see the strain his injuries were causing him. If he needed a minute alone, she could give him that.

"I'll be back in a bit, Jane," she promised quietly, and though he didn't reply, Lisbon saw a small smile tug at the corner of his lips, and she knew that he had heard.

Making her way wearily back towards Jane's room over an hour later, Lisbon considered what the doctor had told her. Dr Crawford, Jane's doctor, had made it clear that Jane really shouldn't be moving from the bed at all, let alone leaving the hospital, for a couple of weeks at least. Lisbon however, knew that there was no way in hell Patrick Jane could sit still for even a fraction of that time. When she'd asked what the alternatives were, the doctor had only been able to offer one solution.

It wasn't a solution she was particularly fond of.

"Right, Jane," she began, marching into his room and waking him up in the process. "I spoke to your doctor. He thinks you're an idiot as well by the way."

"Imagine that," Jane responded wryly, rubbing tiredly at his eyes with his free hand.

"But," Lisbon continued. "He says you're okay to leave so long as you have someone to keep an eye on you for the next day or so at least"

"So…" Jane looked at her expectantly, his eyes lighting up.

"Grab your stuff," Lisbon replied, repressing a heavy sigh. "You're coming home with me."

A/N- So what did you all think? In particular, how was the banter between Jane and Lisbon. I tried to make them act how I think they would act on the show, but I also tried to make sure it reflected my own storyline. Hopefully I managed to walk that fine line somewhat successfully? Also, for those of you wondering about Liam, more will be seen of him, I promise!

For now though, thank you so much for all your reviews, favourites and follows, but most of all, thank you for reading!