A/N:
1) Set shortly after ch 17, if that helps any...
2) If I'm messing this up please let me know...
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Loki is vaguely aware of Tony receiving a phone call, likely from Coulson or someone else from S.H.I.E.L.D., but it is not important enough to command his attention – after all they all seem uniformly boring to him – especially when for the first time in two months he feels able to rest. It is easier to hold onto hope and force himself to relax than to let himself think of how close Tony is to death – or to let himself fear the possibility that this will not work, so instead he forces himself to stay calm.
All his efforts fail when the voice which comes from the speakers is not anything he expected, and he feels Tony go rigid beneath him. The mortal's heart hammers in his chest even as he keeps his voice level – and it is this subtle display that tells Loki more clearly than anything that this caller is extremely bad news for Tony. When the conversation turns to cycles per second, Loki only finds himself more confused. Was this a discussion about miniaturized arc-reactors? Could it be with Tony being the only person in the world who knew how to make one… at least with Ivan Vanko dead?
When Tony comments: "You sound pretty sprightly for a dead guy." reality hits Loki like a punch to the gut, and Loki finds himself so surprised he topples unceremoniously to the floor. He bristles with the realization that this caller has to be Ivan Vanko, alive, and certain enough of his strategic advantage that he is calling Tony in advance of trying to kill him again.
Leaping up to the desk, Loki is certain he cannot possibly be surprised by anything else – but the illusion lasts less than a second, shattered by the next words out of Vanko's mouth: "You too."
Loki only understands those words when he sees Tony's silent reaction - because the world, and even those closest to Tony did not know that he was dying – but apparently Vanko knew…. and based on Tony's quiet sigh, he knew that the other man was aware of the fact.
Anger flares inside him as he realizes that Vanko had known all along that the palladium was killing Tony – not surprising given the other man's knowledge on arc-reactors – he'd known Tony was dying… and still had attacked him on the racetrack in Monaco.
Loki wishes he could imagine it was simply impatience, but he knows too well the mechanics of hate to believe that for a second. With Tony's widely publicized statements to Senate, Vanko had to have known that his actions would bring the entire world down on Tony's back, had to have known that his choices would transform the last days of a man already doomed to a painful death into a living hell…. and he had still done it. Had he also rubbed the fact that he knew Tony was dying in his face when they met in prison? Judging from the hunted, trapped look in Tony's eyes after the fact, that was exactly what had happened…. and the realization leaves Loki quaking with rage until Tony's hand gently smoothes down his fur, even as with the other he mutes his side of the call and tells JARVIS to trace it.
The anger passes, and is replaced with an icy fear spreading through him as he thinks again of the fact that Vanko called Tony a dead man. He wishes he could say it's false – he wishes he could laugh at those words, but on the screen right by him, JARVIS is displaying the results of his latest scan on Tony, including a palladium concentration that has climbed to 98% of lethal toxicity, and for all his hope, his faith in Tony to be able to find the solution that will save him, he cannot lie to himself enough to ignore the fact that if this does not work, Tony will not have the time to try again.
The call disconnects, and Loki can see only too clearly the honest fear in Tony's expression as the mortal realizes that his rival is likely the man backing Vanko – and the fact that if he is correct, Vanko now has the resources to be truly destructive on a far larger scale than before. Then fear morphs into determination, and Tony stands, taking out his old arc-reactor and sliding in the new one despite JARVIS's protests. It does not surprise Loki – who has become used to the fact that when lives are in danger, Tony tends to leap in where others fear to tread – but he still cannot ignore the terror that fills his veins with ice as he sees Tony struggling to breathe while waiting for the new reactor to be accepted by the socket in his chest.
For an agonizing moment, it seems like Tony is choking, perhaps even in pain, and it is only when the mortal's tone shifts from description of the experience for the ever-present purpose of documenting his creations to raw exhilaration that Loki can finally breathe again.
Moments later, Tony scoops him up in his arms, smiling, laughing…. and it is then that the last of Loki's fear melts away. When Tony had installed the new arc-reactor and said it tasted like coconut and metal – whatever a coconut was – Loki had felt a new fear gnawing within his chest: that even if the new reactor was accepted and the new element proved to be stable, if Tony could taste it, there was a chance it was leaking into his body – and perhaps could prove to be even more deadly than the palladium. But this close, Loki can make out the scent of the new element beneath the bitterness of the palladium, and the slightly sweet earthy smell reminds him of childhood memories long forgotten – of himself and Thor as children lying on the Bifrost bridge and stargazing… and now he knows what the element Tony has created is – one he'd never imagined would exist on Midgard – and most importantly he knows it is safe.
He sits in Tony's arms, purring with sheer joy as he rests his head against the mortal's chest, reveling in a heartbeat that is once again strong and steady – and for the first time in as long as he can remember he feels truly happy.
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A/N finally!
oh, and yeah I did take a bit of artistic license with the assumptions about the new element, but I'm figuring its not impossible since the Bifrost bridge was clearly used as a power conduit in the Thor movie, and when not in use, whatever it is theoretically made of is clear...so why not?