A/N:
1) Set during the final battle with Vanko and the Hammeroids, though there is a slight hybridization with the book version - and the obvious conclusion that no matter what you are wearing, a direct missile strike has got to leave some damage - mostly because it is a very important point in a possible sequel I have already started to write (you all know how plot-bunnies are)
2)Sincere thanks for reviews and encouragement goes to: PrettyPieceOfFlesh, StarkObsessed, cara-tanaka, diane, Rokkis, Basia Orci, peppymint, Happy Anon, and Ellie. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.
Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.
3) Again, thanks a million to Diane for the very very in-depth review and the encouragement. It's good to know my little assumption was not outlandish!
I'm assuming Loki does not have enough magic replenished yet to do much so he is an observer (but he will get it back in time...)
As always, your perceptions are very helpful in shaping my writing, and I'm very glad you share them, though in lieu of upcoming finals (which I normally would be having myself soon if not for circumstances that made me take a few semesters off to work - but point is I know toooo well the time-pressure) please don't worry about feedback till they're done and you have time :-)
Good luck, by the way - even the best prepared can always use some!
4) Ellie, thanks a million for your patience and for still hanging in there - as for what Loki is going to do... all in good time... It's coming!
5) Happy Anon, ... ROFL!
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When JARVIS has finished machining parts for the new armor, Tony sets Loki down, running caresses though his fur that finish with a little stroke under his chin as Tony says:
"I'll be right back, Loki …well, I think."
Yet even though Tony seems confident as he says it, and his tone is light, Loki knows by now that this is now Tony deals with his own anxiety, and that alone is enough to rekindle the fear that is forming knots in his stomach.
Based on Tony's discussion with JARVIS, Loki knows that Tony will be flying far enough and fast enough that he cannot hope to follow - as a falcon perhaps - to keep an eye on Tony, and it seems like he will have no choice but to wait at home, yet while watching Tony's armor be assembled onto him, Loki finds that he cannot bear the idea of having to wait, never knowing if Tony will come home alive, and it takes him fractions of a seconds to make a decision he thought he never would.
Shrinking down to an ant again, he darts from his hiding place across the floor, climbing up the metal framework that goes between Tony and the outermost shell of his armor, narrowly avoiding getting crushed as parts are bolted into place. When he makes a quick trek up the back of Tony's neck, he hopes desperately that the mortal will not notice the momentary light pressure – but Tony does, as evidenced by a light shaking of his head. Fortunately for Loki, Tony's hands are already in armor, and he is unsurprisingly not about to stall the entire assembly process to scratch an itch.
As the helmet closes, Loki finds that there is less space in the helmet than he hoped, and the only place he can find that will not risk distracting Tony (or getting crushed) is hanging with all six legs to a piece of metal mesh within the helmet close to one ear. From this position, he can hear everything Tony hears, and though he cannot see much, it is enough to keep him informed.
As Tony blasts off through a hole in his roof turned launch-tunnel, Loki thinks for the first time about the fact that he has put himself in incredible danger by hitchhiking on this ride, but the realization that he could die tonight strangely is the absolute last thing on his mind, perhaps because he does not even want to start thinking of the necessary condition for that to happen.
Ignoring the nagging thought is far easier said than done, and with his concerns come a new shock, because once in the not-too distant past, the though of dying would have left him only regretting that he did so before he got a chance to make his not-family pay dearly for always failing him. Now he's not sure he is even angry about it anymore – he's not sure he cares one way or the other, in fact. Right now the thought of dying terrifies him for really only one reason: it means that the armor has been destroyed, and most likely Tony is dying too.
For the rest of the flight, he tries hard not to think – and instead tries to focus on the joy of flying. Perhaps in this he and Tony have something in common. Loki can tell that Tony enjoys the freedom of flight, and while in the form of a falcon, Loki has flown before, he's going now at least four times faster than ever before.
His present form does not actually appreciate at all the twists and turns – or that the world sometimes turns over – but his mind can still appreciate the experience, and he vaguely wonders if in his Aesir form which seems human enough, he could convince Tony to share the experience with him.
He dismisses the idea as quickly as he'd formed it. After the whole fiasco with Rhodey stealing the armor after Tony had taught him to use it, he doubts Tony will take that leap of faith any time soon – or ever, and then there is the whole issue of having to break to Tony the news that his cat was never a cat, and Loki does not even want to think of how that is going to go down.
It might be selfish, but Loki likes that Tony will trust him with things that he will trust with no other – even if this trust is based on a deception. He likes that he belongs here, that he is loved and accepted, and he does not want to lose that. He consoles himself with the thought that it is not entirely selfish to keep up the deception since perhaps Tony needs him as much as he needs Tony, or at least more accurately, Tony needs someone to confide in, and if his closest confidante is a cat, and his next closest are machines, that is okay.
Loki does not know why he is not horrified at the prospect of choosing to spend the next seventy or so years on this realm as a quadruped animal, because by all rights he should be – but even that option does not hold much merit when he remembers that a cat's lifespan is not that long, and it would not be fair to have to fake dying and leave Tony mourning for him when he is not actually dead. He also acknowledges the part in him that wants to be loved and accepted for who he is, and might want to risk everything he has for the one thing he wants the most….. but some of the chances he took in the recent past got drastically out of hand, and he does not want that to happen either.
He whittles away the rest of the flight-time trying to figure out what to do about this problem, consistently failing to find a satisfactory answer – and then completely forgets even the dilemma when JARVIS starts to pipe to Tony up-to-the-minute footage from the expo, and inching as far forward as he can, Loki is treated to a grainy glimpse of imagery on what Tony has called a HUD showing Tony's rival, a man named Justin Hammer on stage…. dancing?
Loki shakes his head, hard, wondering briefly if after this much emotional pain, he'd finally lost his mind, but the image before him does not change, and after bursting into paroxysms of laughter he cannot suppress, he is grateful that this form is practically mute.
He'd teased Thor mercilessly when Thor had been entrusted with Mjolnir saying that a hammer was a weapon only a retarded ox would use – even though the statement had been fueled by pure hurt and jealousy rather than his personal belief. The fact of the matter was that Thor's hammer was a masterpiece of craftsmanship – and was it here on Midgard, something Tony would have loved to figure out. Nonetheless, the name of Tony's rival was Hammer, and adding to that the fact that from Tony's comments about the man, Hammer had a reputation for making things that did not work, Loki had often wondered if the man would fit the description of a retarded ox perfectly. He'd never thought that the description might be preferable to the truth displayed before his eyes, and finds himself now vaguely considering that this pitiful joke of a man might have been better placed as the court Jester in Asgard.
He holds the idea for all of ten seconds, dismissing it as hopeless when he hears Hammer's speech and decides that Hammer is simply too aggravating, petty, and malicious to be someone he'd want to keep around in any capacity.
Amusement dissipates instantly as Tony flies in closer, and Loki sees what had gotten Tony asking JARVIS for specifications, while Hammer's words about not putting human lives in danger on the battlefield suddenly make sense, because on stage at a central building of the EXPO stand thirty two purely mechanical suits of armor each carrying enough munitions to do serious damage (even from the perspective of someone not well versed in Midgardian warfare) – and designed to function without a human operator. It is when Loki remembers that Ivan Vanko is likely behind this that the fear returns, because if Vanko built these – a possibility that is horrifyingly likely as Hammer's creations usually do not make it past testing – he can turn all that firepower against Tony.
Then Tony lands, almost shaking Loki loose in the process as the world lurches around him again, and the fact only serves as an unwelcome reminder of how much danger he is in. It is rage that takes over however when he sees through Tony's HUD a 33'rd suit of armor that is still recognizable as Tony's stolen Mark II, despite the ungainly armaments welded to it, and inside it is none-other than Rhodey.
Loki knows he should not be surprised – he'd known Rhodey was going to take the Mark II to the military when he'd blasted off into the night rather than staying by Tony's side…. but seeing him in this, at a weapons demonstration by Tony's sniveling malicious rival speaks to Loki of a betrayal far worse than what he'd imagined – and the hurt and anger are so great, he wants nothing more than to kill the man for it, even while reminding himself that Tony would never accept this brand of justice – not where his backstabbing friend was concerned.
He's slightly less angry when he hears a small note of concern in Rhodey's voice when Tony tells him about Vanko, but the hurt and anger return full force when suddenly Rhodey's big gun is pointed between Tony's eyes, and even though he soon realizes that it is not by Rhodey's intentions, the truth is worse.
On the flight over, Loki had briefly dwelt on the possibility that the Hammer-drones were going to be controlled by Vanko against Tony, but he had never imagined that Tony's superior-in-construction Mark II would be used in the same way – for one thing, he had not assumed it would be here. The fact that Rhodey is essentially a hostage trapped in the thing only makes matters worse because while Tony can destroy the drones, Loki knows that Tony will never take a shot at his friend – and that fact alone tips the odds of his surviving this encounter to near-zero.
He is nearly knocked loose by Tony's summersault when the mortal launches the Mark IV into the air to keep the assembled crowd out of the line of fire, but manages to hang on, desperately fighting the rising fear as all thirty-two drones and the massively armed Mark II open fire on Tony.
The horror in Rhodey's pointless protests as the Mark II launches in pursuit of Tony would have felt satisfying in any other situation – but with Tony as the target, all Loki can feel is an icy dread growing in his chest that chills him to the core.
Tony keeps the drones busy chasing him as he launches into evasive maneuvers, even as he asks JARVIS to break into the control system for the armor Rhodey is in, and seconds later, when Rhodey's armor acquires target-lock on Tony and opens fire with everything it got, of the two of them, it is Rhodey who seems terrified – as well he should be, because though Rhodey had willingly taken the armor from Tony, he certainly did not want to be responsible for killing his friend.
Still, Loki cannot hide from the reality that Tony is in grave danger, and though Tony himself is keeping calm even as volleys of bullets and explosives come his way, some of them hitting the Mark IV armor, he recognizes the well-controlled concern in Tony's voice when he asks JARVIS for an update, and when JARVIS reports that he cannot override the Mark II, the terror Loki feels only grows.
Tony takes the revelation far better, remaining focused on the task of destroying as many drones as possible while keeping the fleeing civilians safe. He makes a fast change of path at the last moment letting some of the pursuing drones be destroyed by a volley meant for him, and sometimes he returns fire with his repulsors – but he never shoots at the armor Rhodey is in, even though that is the one most likely to catch him at the end – and the one doing the most damage to his own.
As if in answer to Loki's growing fears, the weaponized Mark II fires a missile at Tony, and no words can describe his horror when Tony quickly scans the area, finally choosing not to engage in evasive maneuvers because there is no place for the missile to detonate which will not involve civilian casualties, and instead stays on course, letting the missile hit him despite the risks.
The shockwave knocks Loki from his perch and sends him sliding down the side of the faceplate, where he barely manages to hang on. He never though an ant could get motion sickness, but the current pounding of his head and unbearable nausea proves differently, and when he finally regains his footing and climbs back up, he sees that Tony's HUD is filled with warnings from JARVIS, both showing extensive mechanical damage to the armor, and a physical scan revealing at least two cracked ribs.
Still in flight with Rhodey locked on and perhaps preparing to fire again, Tony still will not return fire, and it is at this moment that Loki is reminded both of Tony's courage and the bitter irony that a man repeatedly labeled by the world as self-centered always puts the lives of others before his own – and for all his past reservations about this type of behavior, Loki cannot help but love Tony all the more for it, even as he simultaneously hates the danger it puts him in.
He takes a breath of relief when after a few trajectory computations for himself and Rhodey, Tony flies his armor on a complicated path through a rotating metal globe, emerging safe on the other side of the sphere while all his hostile entourage - aside from Rhodey's suit - are destroyed by their sheer inability to maneuver fast enough, yet something aches deep within him when Tony apologizes to a clearly-shaken Rhodey for what must have been a scary experience - despite the fact that the apologies should be going the other way… because he cannot help but ask: is this the true meaning of friendship? Is it loving those who you call 'friend' even when they have failed you? Even if they have hurt you?
There are limits obviously to what can be forgiven – and clearly Tony's limits allow for more than Loki's…. but how much is too much? Where does one draw the line?
All his life Loki had believed that wrongs had to be avenged, that forgiveness was an intolerable weakness, but though he still would like to kill Rhodey for betraying Tony, and all the more so now that this betrayal has put Tony's life in grave danger, Tony clearly does not share the sentiment, yet Loki cannot find it in himself to call Tony weak - because nothing could be further from the truth.
Tony has survived a lifetime of hurts and trials that would have broken others, and for all the pain and loneliness that has eaten at the mortal for so long, he still managed to not become destructive, instead choosing to use his abilities for the benefit of an entire world even when it frequently repaid his sacrifices with ingratitude and merciless scorn …. and this inner strength is the most amazing thing Loki has ever known a person – any person - to possess.
All philosophical musings are driven from his mind as suddenly the weaponized Mark II swoops in from beyond the range of Tony's sensors, driving him crashing into the ground, and the choked yell of pain torn from Tony's lips as he slams into the unyielding ground hurts Loki in an almost physical way – yet it is nothing compared to the icy fear gripping his chest as Tony tackles the other suit of armor and ends up pinned to the ground beneath its additional mass.
He's see fights end up like this – the person pinned down usually is hurt the worst, sometimes even dies - and not even the fact that Tony is wearing a magnificent coat of armor can assuage the horror ripping through Loki when that enormous automatic gun is suddenly in Tony's face again, and the hands of the Mark II are doing everything they can to rip off Tony's armor – because Loki knows that Tony cannot defend himself forever from this many threats.
This is the end – Rhodey knows as much if Loki is to judge from the pure horror in his voice as he calls Tony's name. Tony knows it too, if Loki is to judge from the hammering of Tony's heart within his chest, yet Tony still will not fire back - even though at this range a blast from his chest RT will likely destroy the other suit of armor - he will not risk hurting his friend even now that one of them will likely have to die, and that truth burns into Loki's chest as deeply as the fact that Tony is literally staring death in the face yet again.
Then suddenly it is over – somehow, as if in answer to Loki's most desperate wishes - the Mark II armor shuts down, and both it and Tony are hurled into the air by the force of Tony's struggle against it. Tony lands on his feet, while Rhodey goes down and does not move, likely knocked unconscious by a collision not cushioned by the armor.
Before Loki has a chance to wonder how this happened, he has his answer, in the form of Natasha Romanoff contacting Tony on his HUD and telling him she had rebooted the Mark II. For the first time, Loki is somewhat grateful for her presence, even though he still does not trust her – and it is only when suddenly Pepper's voice is coming through that his world turns over again.
Now that Pepper has found by accident about the terrible weight Tony had borne alone all this time, everything about her demeanor has changed, and the shock and regret in her tone is genuine as she frantically verifies the fact. Her next words "Why didn't you tell me that?" leave Loki wondering if faced with this revelation, she regrets decisions she made before, regrets judging Tony and treating him as unworthy of her time…. and though her tone becomes more defensive afterwards, there is a pain and desperation burning within it that makes Loki wonder if perhaps yesterday he was wrong about Pepper.
He also wonders why the agent could have possibly had reason to call Pepper who was far from central to the action, and wonders if it was her way of clueing in Pepper to the reality she had missed for so long… if so then it is possible that the walking deception has a heart, and Loki may again have to update his assessment of her.
It is not the time to figure either question out though, not with the surviving drones inbound and bent on destruction, and as Tony kneels by the now-inert Mark II and tries to wake up Rhodey, Loki finds himself thinking bitterly about the agent's words from moments earlier: "You have your best friend back."
He doubts that Rhodey deserves the title anymore – not after betraying the trust Tony had given him by teaching him to use the armor, and in so doing almost getting Tony killed – but at the same time he knows the past fifteen minutes have forced Rhodey to think long and hard about his actions, and there was no mistaking the genuine pain and horror in Rhodey's tone when he'd called Tony's name moments earlier, while faced with the reality that Tony could be killed any second by a suit of armor he'd stolen and had weaponized.
Loki reflects that perhaps he does not want to kill Rhodey anymore, even though he still wants to make him suffer, and when Rhodey finally awakens and opens the faceplate of his armor (as much as the Mark II will ever be his) Loki is forced to fight back the visceral urge to punch the man's lights out, while he's vaguely disappointed when instead of slamming a metal-clad fist into the Rhodey's now-unprotected face, Tony smiles and helps him to his feet, asking if he is okay.
Finally no-longer forced to opposite sides, Tony and Rhodey stand there in a momentary silence that feels oppressive to Loki, perhaps because this is the first time since Rhodey's betrayal that he and Tony are together again, or perhaps it is because beneath Tony's relief there is still a shadow of hurt in his expression. The silence is broken when Rhodey apologizes – for not trusting Tony when he should have. To Loki it is not enough, but though Tony brushes it off by shouldering the blame, he knows that this admission has helped to ease a pain within Tony that would have otherwise been buried within and borne alone – and apparently for Tony it is enough.
This time when the drones attack, Rhodey is there backing up Tony, and though compared to the frequently airborne Tony, he has all the mobility of a paperweight - courtesy of the mass of all those added conventional munitions – he still manages to be useful, enough at least that Loki feels marginally less angry at him.
It is Tony who ends the fight decisively, with a couple of new weapons that were obviously inspired by the effectiveness of Tony's accelerator in slicing his house in half, and once again, Loki can only think of the fact that here was yet another sure-victory Tony had chosen not to take when he'd been pitted against his friend – and for the first time he wonders what in his life would have turned out differently had he been willing to extend the same unconditional friendship to those who had been close to him yet failed him repeatedly all the same.
For the third time today, Loki's thoughts are rudely interrupted by unwelcome reality, and this time the bad news is Vanko's arrival. While not surprising in and of itself, the fact that apparently Vanko had taken a hint from Tony and created armor is disturbing.
When Rhodey launches a mini-missile termed the ex-wife at Vanko, Loki vaguely wonders which idiot would have named a weapon that, since while he is aware that while an ex-wife might be some men's worst nightmare, it is hardly the most destructive force around. Then after a flashy launch buildup the missile goes off with a harmless and truly pathetic whimper, and Loki hardly needs Tony's words to confirm who made this weapon – and who likely named it as well – making it easy to see why Tony had once said that he doubted Hammer would ever invent anything that worked.
The fact that even Tony's armaments cannot penetrate Vanko's armor quickly forces Loki's amusement to be replaced with fear, and the feeling only grows when a slash from one of those whips rips a deep gash in Tony's armor, much too close to his arc-reactor for comfort.
Still between the highly agile and frequently airborne Tony and the heavily armed and far-less mobile Rhodey, they keep Vanko busy enough that he cannot concentrate his destructive efforts on either of them alone – which is a positive, even if perhaps the only positive in this situation.
Loki quickly finds himself questioning Rhodey's helpfulness in this fight when Tony – already having one of those whips eating through the armor covering his neck and unable to free himself – has to give a tremendous heave to pull Vanko back, stopping him from crushing underfoot a downed Rhodey, who seconds later ends up with the other whip around his neck as he struggles to his knees.
More generally – and in more fairness - Loki finds himself loosing hope again, because none of the weapons remaining in the possession of either Tony or Rhodey seem likely to penetrate Vanko's armor, and in the meantime, there is not much time left before his whips completely vaporize their armor at the points of contact, and then burn unimpeded through vulnerable flesh.
To Tony's credit he keeps calm even now, determined to think his way to a solution, however slim the chances of one existing are. When he seems to have made a decision, the words he speaks are the last thing Loki would have ever imagined: "Rhodes, I have an idea…. You want to be a hero?"
It has to be a hint, but based on the "what?" that comes across the HUD to HUD connection, Rhodey is extremely confused as well, and the fact does not encourage Loki particularly.
When Tony finishes: "I could really use a sidekick…. put your hand up!", and engages the targeting system for his repulsors, suddenly Loki understands Tony's idea, understands that Tony's words have to be a reference to his birthday – and are a code of sorts for Rhodey, and when Rhodey's tone changes to disbelief, Loki knows that the other mortal gets the point as well – which is more than can be said for the oblivious and apparently overconfident Vanko.
Bracing for what he knows will be a tremendous impact, if the destruction of Tony's house is anything to go by, Loki sacrifices his ability to see by backing up onto terrain that affords him a better hold.
It is only after the repulsors blasts meet and Tony gets to his feet once more that he allows himself the luxury of stepping forward to see once again, and breathes a sigh of relief in seeing that Vanko has gone down permanently. He smiles inwardly at the fact that Tony and Rhodey together managed to make a bad event into something useful, and reflects that there might be a chance that forgiveness is not a mistake after all.
When the fallen drones and Vanko's armor become high-yield explosives, and Tony leaps into maximum-speed flight to reach Pepper, Loki still has not reached a conclusion, but he finds himself too concerned with Tony's concerns to insist upon finding one at the moment.
On a separate note, he can also hear a building crackle of leaking electrical power within the helmet, likely from the damage Vanko's whips caused, and it is far too close for comfort, especially given the fact that Tony is too busy forcing his armor to clearly unsafe speeds to be concerned about a few potential short-circuits.
When Tony's HUD zeroes in on Pepper, Loki knows that Tony's concern was well founded, because there she stands in the ruins of the Expo structure where this whole mess had started… and not more than ten feet from her on the ground is a destroyed drone about to explode.
It is almost comically ironic that Pepper – who had been watching the blinking red light with a silent mixture of curiosity and fear – finally screams when Tony appears out of nowhere to grab her and blast into the air again, carrying her to the nearest safe rooftop.
When the electrical leak in the helmet reaches a threshold where it starts sparking on the inside, Loki would scream too if he could, but fortunately it stops as power to the damaged circuits is cut by Tony who is forced to remove it - fast – and it is from inside a now quiet and thankfully inert helmet that Loki watches Pepper's admittedly-justified mini-meltdown while his exhausted ant-form slumps bonelessly to the bottom of the structure.
From outside the armor, he can see the full extent of the damage to it: bullet-holes, dents and scorching from missiles, deep gashes where even the gold-titanium alloy was flash-vaporized by the whips… the list of damages goes on and while at some level, Loki knows that the fact that Tony is still walking and talking at the end of a fight like this - with injuries that are strictly not life-threatening – is a testimonial to his engineering genius and the protective value of his armor, he still cannot suppress a shudder at the sight before him.
As always though, Tony's greatest vulnerability is not the battered mortal form beneath the armor, but rather his emotions, and Loki notices a well-buried note of heartfelt sorrow in Tony's tone as he tells Pepper: "You deserve better." – Because though he's talking about the position of CEO, Loki knows that there is a part of Tony that has always doubted being worthy of Pepper's affections, and in this moment is thinking 'You deserve better than me'.
Tony goes on, and the words leave an unfamiliar ache in Loki's chest, because at face value they are not true based on recent events, and seem to be only a shiny cover beneath which all the pain and loneliness that have been his only companions for so long are hidden:
"You've taken such good care of me…. I've been in a tough spot and you got me through it, so…"
Then the conversation is back to the usual deflection, with perhaps a touch of desperation and a paradoxical yearning to admit the truth that is shared by both of them.
It should not hurt when it is expected by now, yet it still burns deep when Pepper tells Tony that days are like dog-years with him, and the honest resigned pain is back in his voice as he replies: "I know.", because Loki cannot help but observe that even after all this, she is still managing to inadvertently hurt Tony…. but this time perhaps Pepper realizes it too because she tries to modify the statement with an analogy less hurtful – though if it is a success by any measure is doubtful.
Loki knows only too well the desperation that is subtly manifested in Tony's expression – he remembers it from that morning at the office with the fateful strawberries – and knows that again, Tony needs, more than anything else, to not be told that he is a burden. This time though, instead of tossing her a ball, or trying to verbalize the truth about his feelings for her, he kisses her, and when afterwards she does not revert to defense even given the option, Loki cannot help but feel a dangerous hope well up within him.
The moment is broken by Rhodey – who picks possibly the worst moment to announce his presence before flying off amidst Tony's half-hearted protests – but Tony seems content enough in the moment that Loki is not particularly concerned about Rhodey, the Mark II, or the military.
They do not kiss again that night, even when Tony flies Pepper back to the ground level, and then calls his jet to take them home, but there is a subdued aura of heartfelt happiness filling Tony now that he has told Pepper – or more accurately showed her – about his feelings for her, and Loki can only ride the wave of hope and horror filling him as he desperately prays that Pepper does indeed reciprocate Tony's feelings for her - with the same magnitude - and that their rooftop kiss was not simply fueled by shock and desperation… and maybe even guilt…. because now more than ever before, now that he has opened his heart to her, Tony is truly vulnerable, and the idea scares Loki more than he likes to admit.
Loki remains safely lodged in the helmet, even when it is joined by the rest of the mangled pieces of the Mark VI, watching a battered and exhausted Tony sink into sleep on one of the nearby couches – and in the ensuing silence, he cannot help but think back to Tony's words: "I've been in a tough spot and you got me through it" because they are not true at face-value, yet they are not a lie either.
Pepper had failed to be there for Tony at this darkest time in his life, largely because she did not know what he was going though, and made all the wrong assumptions – but it would not surprise Loki to learn that Tony had kept fighting to survive for her sake… for as long as he could, even when it was a battle he knew was lost.
It certainly was ironically true that though she had rejected him yesterday in the office, it was there that he saw the message his father had hidden for him… and though Pepper had not listened, it was Tony's love for her that had brought him there that day and had ultimately saved him.
For the first time Loki wonders if sometimes the greatest gift that love brings is from within oneself, not from others – and realizes that perhaps his eventual choice to ignore his own higher emotions because they kept getting him hurt, had perhaps broken him more than anyone or anything else ever could.
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