Three Turtle Job
It was with some trepidation Splinter made his way through the sewers towards the lair. Given the amount of trouble his sons could cause in a short amount of time, he had at first been unwilling to leave them unsupervised while he went to train April at her apartment, but the rat had forced himself to go. They were sixteen years old! If he couldn't leave them alone for a few hours now he never would and it did bring him some comfort that he had left them some tasks to do, nearly all involved cleaning the lair and maintenance. He was hopeful that keeping them busy would keep them out of causing havoc and therefore save him from a headache later. It was a small hope but Splinter could still dream.
Turning round the last bend towards his home Splinter tried to stifle the rising anxiety he felt. The sewer tunnel seemed to grow slightly colder around him as he approached the door and his every nerve was on end with the certainty he would be walking into a war zone as he tapped in the necessary code to enter the lair.
Light spilled out into the tunnel as Splinter stepped into the oddly quiet lair. Continuing to move forwards as the large door shut noiselessly behind him, the rat stood in the centre of the room as his sharp eyes inspected the state of his home.
It was…
Clean.
Very clean.
The floors shone and the furniture seemed to have been polished and scrubbed to perfection, not a cobweb or dust bunny could be sighted and Splinter was almost certain it had never been this clean before, even when he had cleaned it himself.
"Boys" the rat called into the apparently empty lair.
When there was no response Splinter made his way slowly around the lair mentally checking off some tasks he had asked them to do.
Polish the weapons. Check.
Clean the kitchen. Check
Mop the floors. Check.
Unclog the shower drain and tidy the bathroom. Check.
Although the turtles appeared to have followed the instructions they were given, there was something that just didn't sit right with Splinter. They were never this clean. Only Leonardo really enjoyed cleaning as he found it relaxing, Michelangelo found it boring, Raphael would do it quickly before he run out of patience and Donatello seemed to find it a waste of his intellect.
Thinking through the tasks he had given them, one involved tidying the garage and it was really the only other place they could be assuming they were still following his orders. Heading towards the elevator Splinter felt his mood brightening slightly. If the garage was as tidy as the rest of the lair he would be very pleased.
The sense of calm and peace that had begun to settle on the rat soon vanished as the elevator moved close to the garage where loud voices could be heard. A sense of doom creeped up on Splinter as the elevator slowed to a halt and the doors creeped open. Any hope the rat held for a clean garage evaporated the moment his eyes met the sheer carnage of the area. Momentarily stunned, Splinter took a moment to remind himself this was their garage and not the dump although the dump was possibly better organised than this mess. When he had asked them to tidy the garage he had meant sweep the floors, put the rubbish away do some maintenance on the vehicles and tools in there. He hadn't meant pile it so high with junk you could barely locate the battle shell, which was finding a new purpose in life supporting a heap of tools, sports equipment and other assorted junk leaning against it.
With the initial shock wearing off, the Ninja master located his sons amongst the chaos. Leonardo and Donatello were standing at opposing ends of the garage bickering across the area while Raphael and Michelangelo were lounging amongst the mess behind Donatello. Michelangelo seemed to be writing something on a whiteboard.
"Don't make this into a bigger issue than it is Donnie. I gave you an order and you can't follow it therefore you obviously didn't understand it in the first place. Just admit you need extra direction and I'll happily provide it" stated Leonardo with a serious expression and a sympathetic look in his eyes as he bickered with his purple masked sibling.
"Are you questioning my intelligence? You who doesn't understand the literal definition of the word 'tidy' is implying I'm stupid?" retorted Donatello angrily.
"Face it Donnie, you can't tidy up to the same standard as me so you twist the definitions of words to suit your own laziness."
"You dare to call me lazy? You who prances around here giving orders whilst taking a millennium to finish your own tasks!"
"It did not take that long, and I at least do it properly! You have poor workmanship Don. Raph and Mikey do as well if that brings you any comfort"
After listening to the battle raging between the two supposedly more sensible turtles, Splinter turned his attention to Raphael and Michelangelo who seemed to be tallying up points for the argument. After a small observation it appeared that whichever turtle made the best point or quip was awarded a point, although it was no surprise for Splinter to see Donatello in the lead particularly when he was against cleaning and Leonardo was in favour.
Feeling a headache developing, Splinter wearily gazed around the wreck of the garage and decided that it was now time for the much dreaded explanation. He was at least certain that in their minds the craziness makes sense, but to him it was an endless stream of concern and berating himself for not reading more parenting books. Perhaps the most worrying aspect of all this was the complete lack of reaction from his sons when he arrived. Normally his presence would put an end to the bickering and pleas of innocence would begin. Not one of his turtles so much as turned a head in his direction leading the rat to believe they were either unconcerned about the consequences of the mess they had caused or that they were genuinely unware of his presence, possibly because they couldn't see him for the piles of junk. Considering they were highly trained Ninjas, Splinter hoped for the first option more than the second.
"Enough!" shouted Splinter smacking his walking stick on to the ground for emphasis. As the sound echoed around the garage all of the turtles fell silent turning towards the source of the noise, some craning their necks to see the Ninja Master stood in front of the elevator. He didn't look very happy.
"Master Splinter" started Michelangelo springing to his feet "how long have you been stood there exactly?"
"Long enough my son. I came home to find the lair immaculate and yet up here appears to be a work in progress?" questioned Splinter looking sharply at all four of the turtles who were wading through the junk towards him.
At this Leonardo immediately straightened himself before the rat and prepared to deliver what Splinter was sure was a heavily covered up accusation of his brothers laziness, while the other three seemed to cluster together for what was probably an equally well plotted counter argument, particularly since Donatello seemed to be leading the rebels.
"What happened in here and why haven't you cleaned it as I requested?" started Splinter as the turtles knelt around him. He was in no mood for this to drag on longer than absolutely necessary.
As both Leonardo and Donatello opened their mouths to begin, Splinter rounded on Michelangelo and Raphael.
"I will hear it from you Raphael as yourself and Michelangelo don't seem to be the main perpetrators this time" cut in Splinter. Michelangelo made any explanation a novel and Raphael would want to be done with this quickly.
At this Raphael huffed slightly in annoyance before he started the tragic tale of cleaning the lair.
Three hours earlier
"Ok guys, we know what needs to be done so let's get to it" commanded the blue masked turtle as the lair door closed behind Splinter.
"Maybe later" yawned Michelangelo as he stretched out across the sofa with Donatello sat on the opposing end and Raphael seated on the floor flipping through a magazine.
"No, we're going to start now if we have any hope of doing a good job. I need a hundred percent effort from each of you, which means no slacking" lectured the leader striding around the sofa to stand in front of his lazing brothers. "I'll start with the weapons and the Dojo, Raph do the kitchen, Mikey can clean in here and Donnie you do the bathroom"
"Sensei's not here Leo, you can take that stick out of your shell" snapped Raphael
"You need to chill out dude, I mean we live in a sewer it's already clean compared to outside the lair" reasoned the orange clad turtle as he flipped absently through some TV channels.
"Why do I get the bathroom exactly? It's disgusting in there and it's not because of me!" bit back Donatello at the thought of getting up close and personal with the bathroom.
"As leader it's up to me to guide us through tasks and that includes cleaning" stated Leonardo shaking his head slightly "It's not up to debate so get on with it!"
With that the three previously lazing turtles begrudgingly got to their feet to start on the cleaning. Not so much for Leonardo, but more for the fact Splinter would surely check they had done it. About 20 minutes into the cleaning adventure Donatello noticed a problem with the shower head and how it appeared to be bent into the wall at an angle. Almost as if it had been struck by a large, angry mutant turtle. With a heavy sigh Donatello set about looking at the damage and what could be done to fix it. This cleaning thing was such a waste. He could be doing so many more important things like upgrading security, developing weapons or taking a nap in his lab. Training was pretty intense this morning and had left the genius feeling quite lethargic. Realizing he couldn't quite do the job alone, Donatello emerged from the bathroom to locate his suffering siblings.
Michelangelo was creating a pile in the middle of the room made up of all the random things scattered throughout the main living area. It was no secret Splinter had been glaring at many of the offending items the last few days and his orange clad sibling now piled them in the centre of the lair with some dramatic flair. Raphael seemed to be creating his own pile in the kitchen made up of mouldy food, expired clans broken kitchen utensils and Leo's tofu. Leo would probable disagree this was rubbish though.
The turtle in blue was playing classic Japanese music in the Dojo as he slowly and methodically scrubbed every inch of the dojo and equipment, an intense look of concentration was on his face as the most dedicated turtle battled a particularly tough patch of dirt.
"Mikey" called the purple clad turtle pulling his younger brother out of the zombie like trance he appeared to be in
"What's up Donnie? Toilet sparkling yet?" joked Michelangelo with mischief in his eyes.
"Don't remind me. The shower head is wrecked and I need some help to fix it"
"Beats doing this, I'll grab Raph too, you know how lonely he gets!" teased Michelangelo bounding across to their red clad brother.
It was 20 minutes after that, Leonardo decided it was an appropriate time to check on his brothers progress. They were well known slackers after all, even Donnie dropped the ball if it as something he wasn't interested in. Leaving the now gleaming Dojo floor, Leonardo headed out into the main area of the lair. It had taken him 40 minutes to clean the floor but the leader knew it had to be perfect. His brothers would have only spent 20 minutes doing the whole Dojo but Leonardo understood the importance of the task he had assigned himself and took it very seriously. If it took him another 40 minutes to polish the weapons and another 40 to clean the walls then so be it.
The living area of the lair and kitchen were piled high with rubbish yet Raphael and Michelangelo were nowhere to be seen. Surely they couldn't have ditched out already? They hadn't even been cleaning for an hour yet. It was then Leonardo heard the unmistakeable voices of his missing siblings coming from the bathroom where Donatello should be cleaning.
Taking a calming breath and straightening his posture the blue clad turtle stormed towards the bathroom, prepared to both reprimand and inspire them to be better. To squash their laziness and replace it with dedication.
No amount of ninja training could have prepared him for the sight that met him though.
"Push me a bit higher Raph!" instructed Donatello
"Your shell's getting heavy here Donnie" came the gruff reply
"Donnie this pipe is heavy and my arms are getting tired" complained the youngest
"What do you think you're doing?" asked Leo with annoyance
"Fixing the shower head Leo, what does it look like?" replied the purple masked turtle snarkily
"Woah Leo! You just sounded exactly like Master Splinter then dude. Really sent a chill down my shell" quipped Michelangelo
"He probably practices in front of his mirror" added in Raphael with a grunt.
"Needs to work on the accent though" replied Michelangelo as his arms started to go numb from his position.
Within the relatively small shower area in the bathroom Donatello was sitting on Raphael's shoulders with one arm shoved in the wall where the shower head used to sit, while Michelangelo was jammed against the wall holding up the pipes and shower head so Donatello could work on them.
Not one to be put off by his brother's immaturity Leonardo continued to press for an answer.
"Why aren't you doing what I told you? The lair is even more of a mess than it was before"
"The shower head was wrecked so I started to fix it and realised the pipes are messed up. I needed a hand so I called them into help. I hope that meets your approval Leonardo" replied an annoyed Donatello.
"This isn't a three turtle job. Donnie fix the shower head, you two get back to your jobs!"
"As I said Leo, I need help to fix this. Given your complete ignorance of anything mechanical I don't see how you're in a position to argue"
"With all your intellect you can't fix a shower head alone? I bet Raph and Mikey jumped at the chance to slack off as well! I won't put up with this though. It only takes one turtle to fix that and you two need to go back to your areas. When you've finished them to a high standard we can all move onto the garage. It's in desperate need of a clean up" lectured Leonardo pacing back and forth in the small bathroom "Master Splinter is relying on us and it's our duty to finish the job at hand to a high standard"
With that Leonardo turned on his heel and left the bathroom feeling satisfied his brothers had been both reprimanded sufficiently and inspired to be better turtles.
"Well that was exciting" said Michelangelo breaking the silence
"If I didn't have your shell on your shoulders Donnie, I'd have probably hit him" revealed Raphael with anger lacing his tone.
"If my hand wasn't stuck in the wall, I'd have been tempted to myself Raph" replied Donatello as he finally managed to bend the pipes the way he wanted "and we're done!"
Hopping down from Raph's shoulders Donatello quickly reattached the shower head as his brothers stretched out after holding their positions so long.
"Back to the dark abyss of cleaning to satisfy Master Leo" complained the youngest
"Oh great, fearless prancing around checking on our progress is just what I need in my life" grumbled Raphael
At that Donatello turned to his brothers with a wicked gleam in his eyes that revealed a hint of madness in the genius.
"Well technically the definition of 'tidy' is to put things away for the sake of neatness so I propose we do just that."
"Meaning?" questioned the youngest, excited about the prospect of getting out of tidying
"It's going to be a three turtle job…"
"So what you're saying is, you moved all of the items normally scattered around the living room and in the kitchen to the garage?" questioned Splinter in bewilderment.
"Yes" came the reply from Donatello
"And you did not notice this Leonardo?" Splinter asked turning to his blue clad son.
"He was too busy cleaning the Dojo for two hours" interjected Raphael with a roll of his eyes
Ignoring the intrusion Leonardo answered "I noticed how clean everywhere was when I finished the Dojo so I came up to the garage to find this mess. I'm just as disappointed as you Sensei, clearly they need my guidance in even simple tasks" apologised the leader with a small bow.
Splinters headache intensified as he surveyed the wreckage in the garage and the four turtles waiting on his verdict. Honestly they were all as bad as each other and Splinter wasn't sure he had the strength needed to carry on this conversation.
"All of you will clean this garage until it is spotless. That does not mean you simply relocate the mess either. You may take the definition of tidy as the standard that does not require me to punish you. Is that clear?" pressed Splinter with finality
The announcement was met with a chorus of sad agreement as his sons shared annoyed looks and accusing stares amongst themselves. He asked them to tidy up. Was it really that difficult? The most unfortunate part though was the idea of having to clarify the definition of words to avoid similar situations in the future. As Splinter turned back towards the elevator he decided then and there they would not be left alone to clean again. It just wasn't worth the headache.
A/N - Sorry it's been a while! Hope you enjoy and please review!