Chapter 5

The sun sat high in the sky casting its bright rays over Manhattan. Heat from the ball of gas warmed the air leaving all people who came into contact with it in a happy daze. It had been so long since the weather had been this pleasant. And even longer since the city had been in a safe enough condition to enjoy it.

Central Park was full of people soaking up as much sun as possible. They lazed around on the benches or on the grass, stretched out and totally relaxed. Tony and Bruce walked leisurely past them, attracting only a few stares. People were too preoccupied with the weather to care that Tony Stark was near them or that his chosen company was the giant green rage monster.

They continued along their chosen path for some time, enjoying the silence between them, until they found an empty bench which they sat down on. For a minute or so they looked around, taking in the sight of the mass of people all around them, enjoying the heat just like themselves.

"So Betty has already started on all the plans for the ceremony, now she's started I don't think she will stop. I think it's a female thing, just obsessing over every tiny detail. I told her not to be too controlling which I think annoyed her because she then threw a book at me and said it was my job to choose the flowers." Bruce paused a second for breath. "I wish I had stayed quiet. How do I know what to choose? I don't know anything about flowers. If I asked you what a Bellis Perennis is would you know? Tony?"

"Huh what? Oh uhh yeah of course," Tony replied quickly. "Wait what was the question?"

Bruce sent him a slightly amused, slightly exasperated look. Tony shrugged in response still having no idea about what was said previously.

"Since we left the tower you have been in a dream world and I don't think you have heard anything I've said. Is there something up because I have never known you to be so quiet?" Bruce said, turning on the bench so he was at a better angle to look at Tony.

Tony just sighed and looked out across the grass. His eyes skimmed over people walking, people sitting, people talking not really caring about any of them. Slowly the cogs began to spin in his head again and he was able to think clearly about the situation before him.

He could tell Bruce the whole problem in hope that it would relieve him of some of the pressure that was holding him down. But that could be a risk because Bruce's reaction could be anything from utter disbelief to complete disgust which could lead to him running straight to Fury. On the other hand he could lie and make up some excuse as to why he is acting so strange. But to come up with something that convincing would require time he did not have.

In the end he agreed that telling half of the truth would be the best step forward. At least he wasn't lying or risking any outdoor shouting matches, though he thought that Bruce wouldn't be type for that anyway.

Taking a deliberately slow deep breath Tony said, "I have a problem."

"I know that, so which is it, the drinking? The sex addiction? The obsessive working?" Bruce asked casually, sliding down on the bench so he was in a more comfortable position.

"None of them, it's...wait I don't have a sex addiction."

Bruce stared at Tony incredulously.

"Enjoying something doesn't mean you're addicted. Now back to the point, I have a problem with...eh someone that I like."

He glanced at his companion who smirked back at him before waving a hand for him to continue. "They know I like them and they like me but I'm still no closer to getting with them. When I tried to talk about it they just told me that they weren't easy and that I have to prove myself to them. So that is my problem, how the hell do I do that?"

Silence greeted his words. Then Bruce let out a whistle and said, "Well you certainly have a problem but I suppose it's nice you like someone that isn't as wonton as some of your past choices. Unfortunately I think you have come to the wrong person for advice."

The pair lapsed back into silence. Tony took the pause as time to think back over how all of this had begun. Really how had it begun? When did he realise he liked Loki? And how on earth did he like him anyway?

There was the obvious attraction from his looks. Not many people could deny that Loki wasn't handsome. Being no longer controlled by twisted thoughts and evil plans, the crazy glint that used to be constantly on display was now absent from Loki's eyes. It had been replaced with a softer hue that had caused the shadows that had grown dark under his eyes to vanish which made his whole face lighter.

There was still the darker side to Loki, the side that had not quite forgotten everything that happened and that still relished in it. Though he hid it well, sometimes there would be a second or two where he would forget himself and a flash of anger or total hatred would appear on his face with no connection to the situation he was in.

But Tony didn't believe that his looks were the reason to why he liked Loki. It had contributed to it, yes, but it had not been the cause. That had been something greater, something that was far past his knowledge. His attraction to Loki was not a quick thing; it had built inside him for so long. It started at first with a couple of whispered nothings at the back of his mind that had grown into quiet thoughts before slowly progressing to something far bigger that still made no more sense than before.

"Well I'm still just as lost as before, I really have no advice for you," Bruce commented, squinting at his friend. "You really have picked a difficult woman to please."

For a moment Tony thought about not correcting his friend but decided to anyway because it would make it easier to explain in the future just in case something did come of Loki and himself.

"They aren't a woman," Tony stated plainly.

A confused expression crossed Bruce's face. "What? How can they not be?" He asked.

"Well Bruce," The Genius began, speaking slowly and clearly, watching and enjoying as his friend stared uncomfortably at him. "They are not a woman because for one thing they do not have the correct features needed to be of the female sex. Another reason is that I have met them and spoken to them and can clearly see that they are a man."

"B-but you and Pepper," Bruce said, not having any idea how to put into words what he wanted to say. "You can't be err..."

Tony took that moment to step in and resolve the situation. It was fun to see his friend squirm for a while but he thought that was enough so there wouldn't be any lasting damage.

"I'm not gay Bruce," Tony said bluntly.

The look he received was probably the most confused and uncomfortable look he had ever seen. The man before him shifted in his seat uneasily and tried with all his might to meet Tony's eye. Every time he got close, however, his eyes would dart back down or else flick up to look around the park.

"What? Oh god I'm so confused, will you please just explain," He mumbled.

"Right I'm not gay! Yes I liked Pepper, I liked her a lot. But now I like someone else that just so happens to be a man. This does not mean you can put labels on me or just shove me into a group. I like women but I also like this man. Does that make things any clearer?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrows at Bruce.

"Okay I understand that. So does that make you bisexual or what?"

Tony sighed and slumped backwards on the warm bench that had been heated by the sun. "I'm not anything, I'm just a person. You can give me whatever label you want, but personally I don't use labels because all they are is words."

Silence.

"So do I know the person?" Bruce enquired, his voice back to its usual calm tone.

"You've met," Tony replied distractedly.

There was a short pause before his friend asked tentatively, "Are you going to tell me who it is?"

Turning his gaze back round, Tony smiled widely and shook his head. "Nope, you are not nearly worthy enough to know such a thing," he joked, rising to his feet.

Bruce copied his movements and stood as well. They walked off through the park heading to Avengers Tower and a cold drink. As they set off Bruce spoke again, "Can't you at least give me a hint?"

Tony laughed before throwing an arm over Bruce's shoulder. "Well he is very sexy like unbelievably so. His body is so irresistible you just want to jump on it all the time and his face is the handsomest you have ever laid eyes on."

Bruce chuckled knowing that that was the most detail he would be getting about this mystery man that seemed to have Tony in a confused daze. Even though he wanted to know more, he didn't press the matter and simply smiled at the fact that Tony seemed to have finally moved on and stopped sulking over Pepper.

Thor didn't know how to approach Loki. He had been putting it off for so long. He knew what he had to do. He knew he had to talk to Loki but apparently the right moment had never come. Now he was becoming desperate and it was the only thing the blond god could think about.

Alone in the kitchen, he paced back and forth before throwing himself down on one of the stools. This was so frustrating. Why should he get this way? Why should he be nervous about approaching his own brother? Only Loki was no longer his brother. Ever since his true parentage was discovered Loki would no longer identify himself as a son of Odin. He would be disgusted by the name and even more so when it was associated with him. It was like poison, slowly working through his body until his whole being was consumed by hatred for the man that lied to him for too long.

Thor tried to bring Loki back to him. He tried to convince him that nothing had changed, that he was still a part of the family but it had no effect. The lies had gone too deep because they had gone on for so long. Loki could no longer identify himself as something that had caused him so much pain and suffering.

Standing back up, Thor headed off in search of Loki. When he had knocked and entered his room not five minutes ago he was pleased to find that the god of mischief was not there. That meant it gave him more time to think up how to approach him. He was loath to admit that the extra time was of no help.

He knew Loki had been actively avoiding him. Ever since a year ago when he had first been sent to Avengers tower he had stayed in his room, only leaving when he was summoned or else when the need for sustenance grew too strong. At first he believed it to be nothing personal as Loki didn't seem to want to talk to anyone. But as the weeks past Thor noticed him begin to loosen up and become slightly more talkative to the others. Then the weeks turned into months and soon he realised that it was personal. Loki had drawn a line between himself and Thor. The silence and the leaving rooms when Thor entered just served as extra reminders to the golden god that there was nothing between them, no bond, no past, no love. Loki had frozen him out, one day at a time, until there was nothing left but a handful of bittersweet memories of young boys playing together without a care in the world.

Thor rounded the corner at the end of corridor from Loki's room and entered into a large open space with soft furniture that simply screamed comfort. The windows here also stretched from ceiling to floor just like in the main living room and by one of the panels sat Loki. His arms were wrapped around his legs that were drawn up to his chest and his chin rested atop them. From that position he gazed out the window at Manhattan that was mapped out below him.

Hearing the footsteps coming towards him, Loki raised his head and looked up to see who the arrival was. When Thor came into view Loki noticed that he hesitated before stepping closer. In return he got to his feet and surveyed the man that stood before him.

"Loki," Thor began, a noticeable tenseness in his tone. "We need to talk."

"I do not believe there is anything we need to discuss, if you would excuse me."

Loki made to brush past Thor but the god of thunder threw out his arm, barring Loki's exit. Recoiling slightly, he stepped back so there was space between himself and Thor.

"I'm doing this for your benefit. Do you not realise this? You could be finding a way to solve this but instead you just sit around. I gave you the book; it has not aided you at all?"

"Stark returned the book to me, not you, so don't give yourself too much credit," Loki sneered. "Yes it has aided me but it cannot solve anything. The Chitauri will come and there will be no stopping them."

"If you would just speak to the Allfather-"

A low hiss emanated from Loki and his expression darkened as the name was spoken.

"No...Not the Allfather Thor, your father," He spat. "Why would I speak with him? He was the one that sent me to this place to live with these people."

Thor took a few deep breaths to calm his breathing which would hopefully slow his racing heart. He knew if the conversation strayed too much from the main issue things could go horribly wrong. There were already noticeable signs of Loki's anger beginning to take hold. His face had contorted into an expression of mixed emotions, all of which were dark and difficult to read. His breathing, like Thor's, had begun to increase meaning his heart, too, was hammering inside his chest. If Loki lost control now then there would be no hope for Thor to continue sharing his issue. He needed to steer the conversation back to the point, and fast.

"This is a far kinder punishment than what would have awaited you if the Aesir had had their way. You would be strung up in chains and whipped raw by now. You should be far more grateful to the Avengers team. They could have refused to take you in but they did not, they offered you a chance. If they helped you once, maybe they will help you again. Ask them for help with-"

"I do not need help," Loki cut in sharply.

"Yes Loki you do. You cannot fight the Chitauri alone," Thor said calmly.

He took a step forward in a bid to calm some of the tension between them. It had the opposite effect. Stepping back hastily, Loki glared at him.

"I cannot fight them, do you not listen? Do you pay so little attention to the world around you? My magic has been bound, locked away inside these bracelets." For added effect he pulled up both his sleeves and revealed the shiny golden bracelets, engraved with the binding spell. "That means my only weapon, my only defence is gone!"

"Please travel back with me to Asgard, we can seek counsel from the Allfather and just maybe he might be able to aid us."

"Aid us, aid us," Loki laughed darkly. "There is no us Thor. You are not involved, this has nothing to do with you so stop worrying yourself and get back to protecting your precious Midgard."

"There is an us Loki because we are family. We were born together, raised together, fought together. Why do you try so hard to pretend that that no longer exists?" Thor didn't try to hide the hurt in his voice.

"Because it doesn't exist. We are not related. You are a son of Odin, perceived from birth to achieve great things while I was born as nothing and grew up in your shadow never being awarded praise for my efforts. You grew up believing in yourself while I grew up believing a lie. I was brought up to hate and fear myself-"

"You are no monster Loki," Thor said, interrupting Loki's stream of hate and loathing.

Loki stared at him passively for a minute before he spoke again. This time his voice was low and held no emotion. "I am one of them; every part of me is the same as them. I should be feared. No, no one can help me Thor, no one!"

With that Loki walked out and this time Thor didn't try to stop him. His final words hung in the air like a noxious gas ready to suffocate anyone who came near. Thor himself felt like he was being suffocated, suffocated by the weight of Loki's hate for everything that reminded him of Asgard and Jotunheim and his true parentage.

If Thor could, he would take away all of Loki's problems, all his fears, all his foes so that he could live normally and wouldn't have to suffer anymore. Yes he had made mistakes, but nobody's perfect. And that's the one thing Thor could never forgive. He could never forgive his father for driving Loki into this pool of hate and self loathing.

"Hey Tony, you might want to go up there," Clint said as he entered Tony's lab. He pointed up at the ceiling and the engineer followed his movement with his eyes before shrugging and carrying on with his current project.

"And why would I do that?" Tony asked.

"What can't you hear it?" He shook his head. "Well it sounds like Loki is throwing a fit at Thor."

Looking back up at the ceiling, Tony listened very carefully and was able to pick up the odd shouted word. He sighed before putting his tools down carefully and heading for the door. Just before he mounted the stairs, he turned back to Clint, "Get out."

"God man I'm going," Clint grumbled. "You are way too possessive over this room full of crap."

Tony just smirked before taking the stairs two at a time. Now he was on the right floor he could hear more of the conversation. He caught odd snapshots like believing a lie and you are no monster. Trying not to dwell on it he walked along the corridor that lead towards the raised voices. As he got closer he heard more of the conversation. Loki was talking.

I am one of them; every part of me is the same as them. I should be feared. No, no one can help me Thor, no one!

Before Tony could process any of that, Loki was walking away. He disappeared into his room so swiftly that Tony wasn't even sure if he had been there at all. Becoming increasingly more puzzled by the situation, he hurried through to the smaller living room where Thor was still standing.

"Err Thor what is going on?"

"Nothing, I apologise if I have disturbed your work," Thor said distractedly, turning his gaze on Tony. "Excuse me; I have things I must attend to."

He walked away then, leaving Tony in an even worse state of confusion. Thinking it better not to question it, he strode off back to his lab only sparing Loki's door a quick glance before continuing on his journey.

Just a quick note to say thankyou again for all the favourites and follows they all make me very happy and I hope I continue to make the story interesting enough for you! Please review :)