Thirteen

Guilt ate him away. As Dean stood beside Roman at the gravesite, holding his hand, he felt guilt eating him away as he remembered the last conversation he had with Mr Reigns.

He had rushed down to the hospital upon hearing the news of his death and held Roman in his arms, quietly comforting the grieving man. Dean never got around to asking him if he had made up with the stubborn man.

He honestly hoped they did though when he calculated briefly, he realised they probably hadn't. Roman had called him a merely hour after he had left the cafe.

Between the day Mr Reigns had passed on and yesterday, Dean hardly saw Roman these three days because he didn't want to cause any more grievances to the family at the sight of him.

It was an unfair situation to be in but there was nothing he could do about it. He had told Roman that he would be here today for the burial instead.

"May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace," the priest concluded.

More sobbing.

Dean never had any real family member to appreciate mourning but his heart went out for the man that stood beside him who had to withstand criticism from everyone in his family.

Manu came over to give Roman a bear hug and was whispering in his ear while Dean stood by awkwardly.

"Babe, why don't you head on back first?" Roman sniffled. "We're having more prayers at the house. I'll stop by later."

"Yeah, sure." Makes sense. Him being there would probably cause more stress for poor Roman.

Back in the hotel room, he laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. He had thought the old man had been faking it. Little did he know that he hadn't been.

"Hey, Deano," Seth said, opening their connecting door. "How was it?"

He sat up. "Depressing. I hope they don't give him hell back at the home for allowing me to go to the burial. I mean he did seem hesitant but I wanted to be there for him, you know?"

"Cheer up. You guys can fly back home after this."

"He has to stay here for another week or more for the mourning period."

"Oh." Seth cleared his throat. "Listen I ordered us some food to eat. Corey will be back soon from shopping. We can just try to relax, okay?"

"Okay."

Seth ordered them lasagna and soda which they ate when Corey returned on time. They watched TV which were playing VH1's Behind The Music about Punk 10. "Can you believe this bullshit?" Seth said. "How the fuck do they get a BTM and we don't?"

"That's a good question actually," Corey said. "Maybe we should talk to Paul."

"Tye looking like an asshole as always," Dean remarked. "How did he get the gig again?"

"Probably by banging the higher management or something. There was that rumor going around…"

The guys left after the programme to go out and do their own thing.

Roman returned back to the hotel room four hours later. Dean had just gotten up from his nap by then. "Hey," he greeted him. "Do you want something warm to drink?"

His boyfriend shook his head numbly as he sat down on the bed. Dean joined him there and held his hand.

"We didn't even make up," Roman said softly. "The last thing he said to me was how disappointed he was with me."

"I'm sorry, Roman." He bit his lip. "I wished I had the right words to say." Ironic considering he was the main songwriter on Steel Hounds' music.

"I thought he was feigning it when Rosey called me about his blood pressure. I didn't know… what happened back there in the hospital when you visited him?"

"He asked me to break up with you and I told him I wouldn't. We started exchanging words and he pressed the call button for the nurse… he was quite adamant that I break up with you and said that it was on me that you two didn't reconcile…"

Roman was quiet.

"I'm sorry about your loss. Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Stay the night?"

"I'll be going to my mum's place actually."

"Oh."

"I'll come by again tomorrow."

"Sure." Dean felt torn and wanted to ask him to stay, that he wanted to comfort him. But maybe Roman's family had their own traditions and as it was, all of them didn't want him around. Maybe they could watch TV to distract him.

"Where are you going?" he asked when Roman stood up. "You're leaving now?"

"Yeah. They need me back at the house."

Dean tried his best not to show his disappointment as he walked Roman to the door.

At night, he was unable to sleep, constantly tossing and turning. Was it really on him that Roman and his father didn't get their reconciliation?

Taking out his iPhone, he googled on how to deal with partners who were grieving. Some suggestions included giving them time, asking them how they wanted to be helped and honoring their loved ones.

Honoring your partner's loved one in a unique way will show that you recognize the pain he or she is going through and want to honor the special person he lost, it read.

Dean could only think of one way and the old man kept repeating it to him. He didn't like it but he had no choice.

Besides, Roman didn't seemed to want to be around him that much either. Maybe he even blamed Dean for what had happened.

Roman tossed and turned in his bed, unable to sleep.

Memories of his father and him kept running through his mind. They used to be so close his father and him. Sure, they had their moments of butting head but up until recently, nothing so severe that they wouldn't not speak about it.

He couldn't fault Dean for what he did in the hospital. Roman knew that he'd be upset if Dean had agreed to his father's request because it wasn't right. Why should they have to break up because of something so ridiculous as ethnic differences?

When they loved each other and went through almost everything he could think of.

Tomorrow, the family would be here to mourn. His mother had already said she'd be cooking. Roman had contemplated bringing Dean too; after all, the auburn haired lead singer was a huge part of his life.

He had given Roman a home… love, support, stood by him through thick and thin… why shouldn't Dean be here when he was the reason for Roman's happiness?

Dean zipped up his luggage and set it aside. Maybe he should leave a note at reception if Roman had decided to stop by.

His boyfriend could keep the house. It was okay; Dean still had his other mansion. He was pretty sure he had left some money for Roman too in his bank account a few months back. What else would Roman need?

He had everything.

Next time he put his heart on the line, it'd have to be for a damn good person though in his heart, he knew he'd never find anyone like Roman.

There was a knock on the door when he had finished checking the bathroom. Who could possibly be at his door at nine in the morning?

The sight of Roman in front of him was not what he had expected when he looked through the door hole. "What are you doing here?" he asked when he opened the door.

"I wanted to ask if you would like to come over to my mum's place," his boyfriend answered. "We're mourning my dad and everyone's bringing their spouses and partner. I want you there too."

Except their spouses and partners were not hated on, Dean thought.

Roman looked at him. "Were you going somewhere? You're all dressed up."

"Yeah I was planning to go out."

"Well, would you like to join me for a bit?"

When they reached Mrs Reigns' house, his siblings were already there putting food on their plates. His mother smiled when she saw her son obviously but when she saw Dean, her smile was quite stiff.

"Babe," his boyfriend murmured. "We'll eat outside. There's chairs and a table on the porch. You go on out first. I'll grab us some plates."

Dean made his way quietly there. He wondered if it was a mistake coming here.

Roman came out later with two plates of pancakes with eggs. "Here we go," he said. "I'll grab us some drinks." It didn't take him long to come back with two mugs of coffee. "I put three packets of sugar for you."

"Thanks," Dean replied.

They ate in silence.

"What did you do last night?" Roman asked him.

"I watched TV and slept."

"Oh? Anything interesting?"

"I'm not sure. I didn't really pay attention."

Roman's sister, Angel, walked out and when she saw Dean, she glared at him. Right. Of course. "Mum wants to know if you want more pancakes," she informed her brother.

"No, I'm good," Roman replied before turning to him. "Babe? Do you want more?"

The Steel Hounds' lead singer shook his head. "No thanks."

When they finished their meal, Roman took their plates and went back into the house. Rosey came out talking to another one of Roman's sisters - he couldn't remember her name - and stopped mid talk when he saw Dean. "Oh. Hey, Dean," he said. "Didn't know you were here."

"Yeah Roman invited me," he explained.

Suddenly he heard shouting from inside the house. It sounded like Roman. When he came closer to the door, he could hear Roman arguing, "He's my boyfriend; end of story! You guys brought your partners here!"

"Great," Roman's sister said, diverting Dean's attention to her. "You caused my father to die. Now because of you, my brother is on bad terms with us. Roman can try and defend you all he wants but we both know what happened in that room."

Rosey said nothing.

Dean stared at them both for a bit before he stalked off. A thought entered his head before he took out an old receipt from his jeans and used a pen he always carried around - in case of inspiration - and wrote as much as he could on it.

He went back to the porch where Rosey was talking to that sister and handed it to him. "Just give it to him," he said quietly before he left.

Roman glared daggers at Angel in the living room.

"You realised that after Dad talked to him, he had that heart attack," his sister snapped. "Him. Dad has never liked that bum!"

Bum? Dean was no bum. He worked hard for his success. "Why shouldn't he be here?" Roman snapped. "Dean has been nothing but kind to me. He loves me. Despite what you think, everything that I have in that home was bought by him. He refuses to touch my money for anything. He supported me through thick and thin, fought for me and cares for me so much that he gave up his career for me. So don't you dare talk about him that way!"

The nerve of his sister.

"And how dare you suggest it was because of him that Dad died. How could Dad demand that he break up with me over something so dumb! Wake up! It's the twenty first century! Things like these happen all the time!"

His mother came in between them. "Stop fighting, the both of you! We're supposed to be mourning for your father!"

They both kept quiet immediately.

"For once, can we just sit down and not argue?" she continued as Rosey walked in.. "Rosey, call Dean in too."

"He's left," Rosey replied.

Roman stood up immediately. "What? He was just sitting outside…"

"He left. He asked me to give you this."

The Samoan man accepted the note from his brother before going to his room and opening it.

Roman,

By the time you get this, I'll be most likely flying out of Florida. I'm doing this because it should have been done earlier after my hospital visit with your father.

A huge reason why I love music and chose to embark on it is the comfort it brings me when things were rough for me. Music was always there for me. My parents were not the best examples as role models. My mother was a cocaine addict and my father… well, you know my father.

I used to envy kids who had good parents or even siblings because they had a buddy or buddies they could rely on. A good person like you shouldn't have to constantly battle against your family for something like our relationship. I've said it before: relationships come and go and families don't. They're your flesh and blood.

I've left the house to you and some money months ago while I was on tour. I hope you'll accomplish your goals and dreams and I also hope you'll find someone your family approves of… someone who will bring you the same happiness you've brought me.

Take care.

Dean

"Are you sure that this is the right thing to do?" Corey asked as Dean took his luggage. "Dean, he's going to wonder what he did wrong-"

"I left him a note," he replied.

"And that's supposed to console him? I'd like to know how long you can last without him because you and I both know you can't. You'll be climbing the walls. You could barely spend a day without him and now you're just going to break up with him? You can't live without him."

"I'll learn."

"He's not going to take this lying down. You know that he's going to come and find you and-"

"He can't because I'll be in Beverly Hills. And even if by some miracle he finds the house, I won't be at home because I'll be back on the road again."

"It's not your fault, Dean," Corey said. "No matter what they said, it's not your fault. You did nothing wrong except defend your relationship."

Dean shook his head. "You weren't there. I saw his father being in pain. His father requested for me to leave the room. I'm the reason, Corey. Since he's met me, Roman's life has been a mess with his family. You knew what my family was like. You were there. I can't let Roman live a life like that because he's too much of a good person." He took a deep breath. "I'm not doing this for me. I'm doing this for him. He'll thank me for it."

"I don't think he will, Dean. I think you underestimate how much you mean to him." Corey paused. "Where are you going? Back home?"

"Yeah I just need to grab a couple of things before I leave for Beverly Hills."

"And when will we see you?"

"I don't know. Once I've spoke to Antonio, I guess."

Corey pulled him in a hug. "I wish you'll consider. I mean I get why you're doing this but I wish there was some other way I can make you stay."

"There isn't. Take care, Core. I'll call you."

With a heavy sigh, he left the hotel room, ready to hit the road... again.

A/N … Thank you for the favorites, follows and reviews. Stingerette, this one's for you!