A/N:
1) Sincere thanks for reviews, encouragement, and great ideas goes to: silverbluerose, cara-tanaka, CatchingCraziness, Maia2, Erestory, YnathEsrith, skepsis66, Frostfire613, KKK3, fan girl 666, quoththeraven5, ThatOne Fan, EmeraldEyed, Aruyn, EbonyWing, BZT, Daku-Darkness, Blue Fire Lily, EmeraldWings90, windy, Guest, AviatorsGrandScheme, PlueEyedPyro, noukinav018, Baow, FoxBitten, marianne, Mystic777, haruhi65, GlOOmP3R, Aki WildQueen, MomotsukiNezumi, Snorkackle, and Kinue. As usual, I'll respond via PM to anyone I can.
Also, thanks for all the faves, alerts, etc, it is most encouraging.
2) I know the waiting has been unfathomably unbearably ridiculous. Now I'm up to my neck in college, work and a frikkin garage remodel for family. Whew. Still, my deepest apologies for keeping yopu all waiting so long.
3) I've been bashing heads with my uncooperative muse yet again. She's flighty, I'm always tired now, so I hope this doesn't dissapoint.
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When Loki had decided to rebuild, in more than one way, he had immediately thought of the Bifrost, because with Asgard cut off from the nine realms chaos is sure to erupt, and between himself and his brother, they just may be able to fix it – to say nothing of the other benefits that a working bridge would offer. Tony would probably love to see Asgard at some point, and travel via the Bifrost is far safer for a mortal than teleportation.
Walking off to find Thor, though, Loki decides that this doesn't end with his family, or even the Bifrost, because out there is a world he nearly destroyed – his world by blood as he has learned to accept – and for all that once he had thought Jotunheim worthy of only annihilation, there have been periods in Midgard's history which have been every bit as dark, humans whose capacity for evil outweighs the worst Jotuns he has ever known or heard of – Stane comes to mind, as an example that had hit far too close to Loki's heart – but none of that can outweigh the simple truth that just the one remarkable mortal who Loki had the privilege of knowing has made all of Midgard worth saving.
Jotunheim, Loki thinks, deserves that chance too.
Thor seems less enthusiastic than his normal, when Loki voices his thoughts, and Loki still cannot help but be surprised when he realizes that his brother's hesitation isn't about Jotunheim.
Just over a year ago, Thor would have deemed madness the very idea of there being something worth preserving in Jotunheim, and since then they have both learned and grown – Loki more than his brother, he cannot help but think because he had fallen far enough into bitterness to kill his own brother and Thor never had, so Loki had to find himself again from a place far deeper into darkness and chaos – but he cannot help but wonder if he is to the Thunderer what Tony had been to Loki, because Midgard had become worth every chance to Loki because of Tony – because that one mortal had proved the capacity for greatness even within a life so very transient, and because Tony had become important, precious, to Loki so by extension the world for which he fought followed suit.
Are Thor's reasons similar then? Except with brother in the place of best friend? Is it only for Loki's sake or is it that the good Thor sees in him is hope too for the rest of Loki's kind?
Either way, it doesn't matter. They have a bridge to rebuild –in more way than one – and Thor's only hesitation is directly in relation to said bridge, because repair efforts had been underway for just over a year now, and he had helped in the way only he could, but so far no appreciable progress had been made.
Loki cannot say he is surprised, because what his brother had been attempting was essentially arc-welding, to borrow a Midgardian term, on a massive scale that involved the use of long-duration lightning strikes, and while that was quite effective in fusing materials in the desired areas together, it also had the unfortunate – and entirely unsurprising to Loki - side-effect of overheating the surrounding areas and compromising the already fragile structure.
Obviously what was lacking was a heat sink – Loki remembers Tony using the occasional liquid helium cooling system when doing large scale welding on sensitive equipment – and that is precisely what Loki thinks he can provide. After all if the Casket had - in different hands - been about to provoke a planet-scale ice-age on Midgard, it can surely absorb the heat generated by even a long-duration lightning strike.
"Come, brother", Loki says, turning in the direction of the bridge and knowing that Thor will follow - because after numerous failures he isn't convinced that they can make this work but he will try nonetheless because his brother has asked it of him - and he cannot deny the happiness blooming in his chest as he cannot help but think that there is balance now between them. In this moment their old roles have reversed, because as children, he had always followed his brother in their numerous childish adventures to offer what assistance he could, but this time his brother is following him, trusting in him – just as he will when Thor needs him - and even if this doesn't work, it has been worth the effort.
As he had hoped, his idea delivers the anticipated results flawlessly. He coats the area surrounding each weld-point in ice and keeps the Casket in hand to continue countering the waves of heat radiating from material that turns molten before his eyes as his brother uses Mjolnir to pour lightning into it, and yes, it is something of an exercise in coordination to get the two separate actions balanced optimally, but Loki cannot help but think that it is also an exercise in trust because Thor is immune to lightning and himself to the freezing cold, but the juxtaposition is not true.
They could so easily harm each other doing this, and yet despite that truth, despite all that has come between them, it is easier than Loki had ever imagined to trust and be trusted.
It is also an exercise in acceptance, because each time Loki touches the casket, his birthright makes itself manifest, but his brother isn't at all fazed by the icy blue skin and red eyes, and as Loki watches Thor lifting Mjolnir to the sky again and calling down the lightning, he finds that he cannot any longer feel even a trace of the jealousy that had eaten at him for all these years, because this is right, because Mjolnir had saved Thor's life back in the desert town that Loki would rather not remember at all, and whichever way he looks at it, the power it carries, the energy pouring out of the sky and through his brother's hands has become every bit as much a part of Thor's life force as Loki's own birthright is a part of him, and as such, Loki can only be happy to see it.
And perhaps it is fitting that in this, he and his brother complement each other perfectly, because what they had destroyed in the process of destroying all that had ever connected them can only be rebuilt by them working together once more.
When they part ways for the evening, because Thor actually seems tired – no surprise given his restless sleep in the recent past – and Loki finds nostalgia to be a weightier pain than he expected, Loki finds himself unwilling to leave the bridge for his own chambers, because the stars beckon, because Tony would have loved to see this, and Loki cannot help but miss his mortal friend.
Looking towards the end of the bridge where Heimdall has resumed his post, Loki sighs, knowing that in this much at least, he needs the Gatekeeper's help, because with all his magic he still cannot see Tony, but Heimdall can, and even though Loki cannot see through his eyes, words are what he will have to settle for since he is too exhausted to teleport back across realms so soon after the last time.
As per usual in his life, though, Loki's own actions have complicated his present – even he can never truly outrun his past – because though he actually hadn't tried to kill Heimdall, leaving him imprisoned in the ice had very nearly caused his death, and that fact alone would be enough reason for the gatekeeper to refuse him any kind of help, but at the same time, Loki cannot simply avoid him forever.
Of course, Heimdall had attempted to strike first, the tip of his sword just hairs from Loki's throat even as Loki had countered with the Casket, but then there was that whole fiasco that Loki had engineered to interrupt his brother's coronation, and his covert dealings with Laufey, so he doubts the fact will be of any benefit in reaching some kind of truce.
Any question as to what would be the best way to begin this conversation looses significance because Heimdall does it for him, eyes still fixed on whichever realm he is observing at the moment even as he addresses Loki:
"I was aware of your actions after you entombed me in the ice. I saw your capacity to bring the destruction of the Nine Realms in the way you engineered a war with Jotunheim. I saw your ruthlessness when you stuck down your own brother."
Loki tries – and fails – to keep the pain and guilt of those memories at bay. All he can manage is to not let them show, because he's always been good at hiding, and this much he is capable of, just barely. In the process, he misses when Heimdall turns to face him, just as he misses the exact words of the gatekeeper who speaks of his ability to see all as something that extends beyond what is visible, even though Loki doesn't miss the meaning.
He cannot help but be surprised at the Gatekeeper's next words:
"Since your use of magic revealed your presence to me once more, I have been watching you when I could. You hide well from me, almost as effectively as you once hid from yourself, but not enough to stop me from recognizing what I never before saw in you; your capacity for loyalty and your capacity to learn from your mistakes. Not enough to prevent me from seeing that if your powers extended to the control of time, there is much you would change."
Heimdall looks into the distance again, tone even more final than usual:
"I was young and foolish once as well. I always knew your bitterness was your greatest flaw, just as your brother's brashness was his, but in your case …"
It had been more than bitterness, Loki thinks, because it had been true, he had never wanted the throne, but that much power had been all to easy to wield, all to easy to misuse, and he cannot help but shiver inside remembering where that led, just as at some level he dreads seeing again the throne room because the memories with the destroyer are still too fresh and the guilt too raw.
The Gatekeeper trails off – uncharacteristically – but Loki doesn't need him to finish to know what he hasn't said, because during Loki's brief reign, Heimdall had made it clear, along with the Warriors Three and Sif, that to all of them, he was a lost cause - something that had stung deeply even then, even if now at times Loki cannot help but think the label justified – and of course that hadn't helped. The more they rejected his position of power, the more blinding his bitterness became, and the more ruthlessly he wielded said power.
At last the Gatekeeper finishes:
"… Perhaps with all my abilities, my perception of you was in error. Only time will tell, however if you are willing to let what has transpired in the past remain there, I am as well."
This offer of a truce is more than Loki could have hoped for, and for a few seconds he debates telling the Gatekeeper that he wasn't wrong, because until his life with Tony, Loki himself hadn't been able to accept anything within himself except treachery and bitterness, so how could Heimdall see what Loki himself could never accept, but Loki has had enough raw painful admissions to last him weeks, and the Gatekeeper isn't Thor or Tony or Frigga, or even Odin who he is trying to accept as family once more, so instead Loki simply thanks him, and almost laughs when Heimdall asks, in a manner painfully reminiscent of when Loki was a child who was hungry to see the universe even if only through the descriptions of a Gatekeeper with seemingly limitless patience:
"What is it you wish to know about?"
"When you saw me on Midgard, I was living in the home of a mortal."
Loki pauses for a moment, holding back the raw emotion, and Heimdall takes over seamlessly, looking towards Midgard:
"Ah yes, one of his realm's greatest warriors, though when I saw you, you were acting to protect him."
Loki doesn't bother to clarify that he actually had been protecting Pepper, because protecting her was protecting Tony in a way – protecting his heart – nor does he bother to ask how Heimdall had deduced his motives, since he knows that magic carries a signature correlated with the intentions of the wielder. Instead he asks, more than a little breathlessly, for all that he wishes this worry and nostalgia didn't show:
"How is he?"
"He misses you, and worries for you. When he isn't fighting, many nights he looks to the sky as if waiting for you to return."
All of that is expected, and Loki cannot help the throbbing ache that fills his chest, mingled with sweet relief because at least Tony is safe, and Loki cannot help but always worry for him, given the mortal's chosen occupation.
He almost expects the Gatekeeper to say that Tony is searching for him, after all, his brother's one human connection is still trying to find him, and both Tony and Jane are scientists.
What he hears instead settles deep within his chest for all that it is unsettling all the same:
"He seeks a way to follow your journey."
Tony of course takes everything several steps further than anyone else, and Loki knows he shouldn't be surprised. Of course Tony had taken probably every kind of measurement possible when Loki had teleported away, and with his genius and his background in theoretical physics and engineering – with his complete lack of any fear of the unknown - he may well be the one person in all nine realms who could manage to follow Loki with just the use of his mind and hands, and no magic at all.
The problem lies in the fact that Tony doesn't know where Asgard is, and there are realms where even the mortal's armor wouldn't be enough protection - something Loki had found the hard way centuries earlier when finding the back-doors between worlds and thanking the Norns for his near-immortality all the while. The words are out of his mouth this time without thought:
"Has he built a device yet?"
Loki had never imagined that a negative answer to such a question would be comforting, because the mortal's alarming lack of concern for his personal safety in the face of creativity and his ability to make possible what all others would consider impossible were among the first things Loki had grudgingly admired in him – and by the Norns, he misses Tony – but even Loki needs to rest before he can teleport safely again, and the idea that he has yet the time to do so, before Tony tries something remarkably foolhardy –and probably ill fated as well - with an experimental device is admittedly a relief.
The reality of what he left behind though – temporarily since his heart is now split between two realms – serves strangely as something vaguely calming, or at least as an incentive to rest, because until the Bifrost is repaired, any travel will be under his own power, and Loki finds that he doesn't wish to wait any longer than absolutely necessary.
That night Loki dreams of the plentiful good memories of his childhood that for so long bitterness had all but effaced, and of his determination to make a future with his brother, but he also dreams of arc-reactors and red-gold armor. He dreams of the expression on Tony's face when caught up in the throes of creativity and practically oblivious to anything else, and the way the mortal would open up to him with every last wounded confession that he could never breathe to anyone else. Most of all he remembers how the mortal never truly stopped fighting, however hopeless the times, and never let circumstances poison his affections for the people in his life, because that was ultimately the greatest lesson of all.
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