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Chapter 14

He could hear them whispering. They really thought he could sleep? How could he sleep? Tony shifted on the sofa but didn't move too much, not wanting to draw attention to himself.

It had been quiet for some time, everyone deciding to take seats and wait for Thor's return instead of arguing and causing pointless friction between them. They had all had to separate out, much to their dismay, due to Tony being stretched across the whole of one sofa after drinking as much as his team permitted him.

Feeling only a slight buzz, he had admitted defeat and collapsed down face first into the cushions. Although much time passed, sleep never came. Now the sun was beginning to peak over the horizon and everyone was well and truly exhausted.

"Is he actually asleep?" Clint mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"Dunno," Bruce yawned.

"Can't just go lay down for a while?" Natasha asked, looking around at them.

Steve lifted his head from where it had been resting on the kitchen island. "No, Fury told us to stay awake until Thor gets back and then he wants a full report."

"But it's morning now and I need rest!"

No one bothered to reply, they all felt the same way. They were exhausted and all talked out. Spending too much time in close proximity to your friends can make them into enemies very quickly. The team were on the brink of reaching the super pissed off freak out stage.

The annoyed silence was interrupted by what sounded like a huge pair of wings beating. All the Avengers looked to the others for some sort of explanation. Footsteps drew their attention away from each other and brought it to the corridor that led to the other rooms on Tony's floor.

Thor stepped into view causing everyone to jump to their feet. Hearing the noise himself, Tony had given up feigning sleep and was now standing up straight, facing the thunder god with a stern look that hid his worry. Thor didn't meet his eye but his gaze did stray in his general direction, his expression also giving nothing away. Tony's heart broke as he listened to the unspoken words. Loki wasn't coming back. He was alone.

But Thor stepped to the side and everyone took a sharp intake of breath. Tony, whose gaze had fallen to the floor, glanced up and was met with the sight of Loki walking a few steps forward so he was fully entered into the room. It was as though his heart had been inflated like a balloon that threatened to escape through his mouth. He swallowed hard and tried to come to terms with what he was seeing. Loki was there, he was real, he hadn't left. Striding forward, the genius stopped dead in front of Loki and just stared at him and he stared back.

With such an intense expression on his face no one knew if he was about to hit or kiss Loki. It appeared that the god didn't know himself because a second later Tony grabbed his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss that caught him so off guard that he remained frozen for a few seconds. But as the realisation set in he relaxed his posture and allowed himself to be lost in the moment. He pressed his lips against Tony's and let his hands slide down until leaving them to rest on his lower back, bringing Tony even closer so their bodies brushed together.

Someone coughed awkwardly but the pair locked together didn't know or care although both their guesses was that it was Clint. When their lips finally separated, they were both left panting from the lack of oxygen. Not wanting to lose contact, they rested their foreheads together.

"Don't ever do that to me again," Tony whispered.

Loki just shut his eyes and hummed quietly in reply.

"Um guys not to break up this oh so precious moment between you but I really think we need an explanation and if Fury finds out Thor's back and we haven't reported he will flip out," Clint said, smirking at them from across the room.

"Well, let him know then," Tony answered, taking a small step back so that he could turn his head to look at the archer.

Not too much longer later they had all piled into two flash looking cars and were being driven to the 'unknown' location that was S.H.I.E.L.D. Tony was seated next to Loki and their fingers were loosely entwined between them. Neither had spoken anymore to the other but they didn't need words. By Tony's display earlier it was obvious how he was feeling. He had given up hope when he had first laid eyes on Thor standing alone. But then the light had been restored in his eyes and hope flooded back as Loki had revealed himself.

Tony hadn't spoken anymore because he didn't want to know what happened. He didn't want to find out that there was a limited time to this joy and that soon enough Loki would be back in Asgard, serving his time properly. No, he didn't want to know that. It was easier to stay quiet and let only his thoughts run wild and not his mouth.

Loki didn't speak because he knew what Tony was thinking. He knew it would be wise to console him and not let him dwell on these thoughts. But really he was enjoying the feeling of the genius's calloused fingers brushing against his own far too much. He preferred to only explain this once, he didn't want to go through his trip back to Asgard more times. Of course there would be questions, of course there would be confusion. He would deal with it when it happened, he would put Tony's worries to rest when he told the others at the same time. When they got back to the tower, if Tony still had other questions, he would answer as best he could. Tony deserved that after being put through hell for two days.

Just like last time, they entered into the meeting room with the long table and high-backed chairs led, of course, by their driver with his ironed suit and mysterious looks. They took their seats and waited for Fury to join them. It wasn't too much longer that the opposite door to which they had entered through flew open and Fury marched in, surveying them all before his eyes rested on Loki.

"So you're back."

"Yes."

"Care to start explaining," Fury said, waving his hand at Loki.

The god rolled his eyes at Fury's tone but started talking anyway. He started off with the reason why he was taken back to Asgard in the first place. He said about how his magic had broken through its bonds and had triggered a spell that was attached to the bracelets that meant once they were broken or inactive he would be taken back to the land of the gods.

"Wait wait wait, am I missing something? You were just allowed back here, fully equipped with your magic mojo and the all-mighty one doesn't give a fuck?"

"I was getting to that bit, Director" Loki said, doing his best to keep the distain out of his tone. Next to him Tony fought back a chuckle. "I have one chance, just like before, that if I use my magic for purposes that are deemed unacceptable, there will be consequences although I'm not sure what they will be."

"I thought you'd be dragged back to Asgard in chains."

"Circumstances have changed and new information has come to light that I believe you should probably know. Staying here on Midgard, in the Avenger's tower, is not my punishment. It was simply a cover to keep me here. I have been banished from Asgard and cannot return-"

"Who said this?" Thor boomed, leaning across the table towards Loki.

Loki turned his gaze from Fury to Thor. "The Allfather."

"But it cannot be true, he has never mentioned this."

"He doesn't mention a lot of things Thor, that doesn't mean they are not true," Loki replied, bitterness creeping into his voice. "Actually there are a lot of things that are not true and I think it is the right time to say them. I was not in my own mind when I attacked your planet, I was haunted and controlled by a much higher power."

"I'm sorry but are we finally hearing your excuses speech?" Fury asked.

"Excuses? Oh no, this is real life, this is truth. I've been hiding this and denying this for so long when truly what is the point?" He slammed his fist down on the table. "The truth is that it was the real me when the destroyer was sent down to Midgard, it was the real me that tried to kill Thor in the middle of one of your streets. After that I succeeded in killing my biological father, and was part of the reason why the Bifrost was destroyed so yes part of me is the evil you think it is but do not blame me for all without first knowing the truth."

He had had enough, everything was just so wrong. He was tired of always being blamed, he was tired of never being listened to. It was like he was back to growing up with Thor again and everyone always doted on him, knowing he was the future king. Loki was the forgotten one, shunted to one side. Never listened to, never appreciated. But he had had enough. These people would listen to him. They would know the truth.

"So how did you end up being controlled by this 'higher power'?" The Director asked.

"I..." Loki looked over to Thor, who sent him a sad look in return. "I fell into the between, the space between the realms. They found me and took me in. The between breaks your mind, it consumes your soul." His voice had reached a low level and he had gone very pensive. "When they took me I was merely a shell of myself, my mind was mostly gone but they gave it the final push. It's easy to consume and control something that is so empty."

Tony was watching Loki very closely. He had never heard him speak about his time before he arrived on Midgard after being blasted from somewhere on the other side of the universe. There had always been questions buzzing around his mind about it but he had never found a moment that was right enough to question him. But now Loki was giving the information freely which he supposed was a good think although Tony now didn't know if he actually wanted to hear it or not.

On the other hand, Fury was very eager to hear more. "Am I the only one confused about how you fell? Did someone just finally get that annoyed that they pushed your dumb ass off the side of Asgard?"

"You can't fall off Asgard," Loki said slowly and deliberately as though explaining to an incompetent child. "I fell from the rainbow bridge when it was destroyed."

"Right okay, is there anything else you want to share before we all go our separate ways?"

"Er," Loki hesitated for a second. Should be tell them about the Chitauri and how they were coming for him? Should he warn them? He knew they only wanted him, not the others so perhaps it was best to keep it under wraps. Odin's words flooded back to him, when they come you will need all the help and support you can get. Well it was time he stopped listening to the man who had lied so much in his own life, Loki thought before speaking. "No there is nothing else that needs saying."

"Good, now I can say my bit. You two," Fury said, pointing to Loki and Tony, distracting the latter from staring at the god next to him. "This thing that's between you, if I think it is having a bad affect on the team or distracting you." He pointed at Tony. "Even more than normal then I will make it stop."

"Yeah whatever, can we go now?"

"Yes get out." Just before they tried to leave through the door, all pushing at once, Fury said, "Oh and try and keep out of the Press, I have enough to deal with already."

Tony smirked at him then disappeared around the corner.

Arriving back at the tower, they went their separate ways. Bruce left to do more wedding preparations with Betty while Steve headed out to grab some lunch at the Starbucks just across the street. Upon insistence, Natasha convinced Clint she needed to sleep meaning the archer went to his personal gym to train alone. Thor was the only one that joined Loki and Tony in the lift. He got out on his own floor, giving Loki a pat on the arm as he passed and saying, "I'm glad you are back."

Loki nodded and even managed a small smile before the doors slid shut, blocking him from view. In a second his back has pushed roughly against the wall and Tony was upon him. Lips, teeth, tongue, he used everything until Loki was a ruffled mess against him, clinging to him so they didn't fall. Tony tangled his fingers into Loki's sleek hair, which reached to his shoulders, pushing his head down so he could attack his lips with even more energy. Loki placed one of his hands on Tony's lower back again but let the other hold the back of his neck, caressing the skin there.

The lift came to a stop and the doors opened wide. Though not wanting to, Tony let go of Loki and they both walked out onto their floor. Without needing to say it, they both walked towards the living room. Loki flopped down onto one of the sofas while Tony walked to the small bar he had in the room and poured himself and Loki a drink. He handed Loki one of the glasses then took a sip of his own drink before sitting down next to him.

"So," Tony said.

"So," Loki repeated, leaning to the side and resting his head on the genius's shoulder.

"I'm sorry I have to check but you weren't lying, right, when you said that you're staying? You're not going back to Asgard?"

"No I'm not, I cannot return."

"Thank god," Tony breathed. A smile crept onto Loki's lips. "Are you sad that you can't?"

"At first I thought maybe I was but then I thought over these past two days there and I realised that Asgard is no longer my home. I do not belong there, I never truly have. I've only just come to terms with that now."

"Well Earth really isn't that bad, you know. We have ice-cream and ACDC and me of course," Tony said, causing a small chuckle to escape from Loki.

The god shifted against Tony, getting even closer so he could rest more comfortably on him. As he turned his head more into Tony's shoulder he breathed in his scent. It was a mixture of alcohol, expensive cologne and something lighter that he couldn't identify but it caused him to think about rain pattering against a window at night, the relaxing, rhythmic pattering that could lull anyone into a peaceful sleep. He took another breath and allowed the smell to fill his senses until he was totally lost in it.

"When you said about how you fell, did you really just fall or was there something more?"

Tony knew it probably wasn't the time but when really was a good time. After he spoke he noticed Loki had tensed slightly. Not wanting to make him feel stressed, Tony moved his arm to wrap around his shoulders and trace lazy patterns on the exposed skin of his upper arm.

The sensation on Loki's arm caused goose bumps to form. Concentrating on that feeling, he took a calming breath and answered. "No I did not just fall. After Thor destroyed the rainbow bridge, it caused a huge explosion that knocked us both flying. Having no control over it I fell over the side but managed to hang on to my staff that Thor was holding onto. As I looked up I saw that Odin was holding both of us. I shouted to him, I said I could have done it and he just said no Loki and...and I felt the last hope of ever being appreciated slip away so I let go."

Silence formed between them until Tony said quietly, "You tried to commit suicide."

"Yes, I didn't want to live anymore. I didn't want to be the failure that everyone believed me to be anymore. When I fell I didn't know I could survive, I honestly didn't know what would happen. I suppose death would have been better than what did happen."

"I'm sorry."

"It is not your fault, thankyou for listening."

"Thankyou for sharing."

"I...there is more but...but I'm just not...I'm not ready to say it yet," Loki muttered, not looking up at Tony.

"It's fine," Tony said. "You're here, you're not dead or dying. What more could I wish for?"

Loki smiled, so unbelievably grateful that Tony had said that. He had missed him, he had worried. Tony cared. That's all he needed to know, that someone cared about him. He had looked past his faults and mistakes, he had looked past his family and his upbringing. He had chosen to see him, here and now. Happiness welled up inside Loki as he realised that this was the first time he had felt loved since he was a child.

"Sorry to bring this up but a few days ago, you said you had been married."

"Ah yes, that is true. Her name was Sigyn and we were very young when we were forced into married. Yes it was not by choice that we became together which is probably the reason it didn't work out. We stayed together for almost three years before it was too much and the Aesir finally gave in and let us separate."

"I don't like Asgardian laws."

"Neither did I."

"So was she upset when you broke up?"

"No I think she was just as relieved as I was."

"Okay now I have one more thing to say, well it's more of a request actually," Tony said, smiling when he saw Loki's slightly confused expression. "Can you show me some magic?"

"That I can do," Loki smirked, sitting up straight, allowing Tony to sit up straight as well.

Putting out his hands in front of him, he began to wave them in intricate patterns as though carving symbols into the air. As his hands worked colours started to stream from them, soon enough a rainbow of colours were following his hand movements, all swirling round each other to create a beautiful scene. Tony was mesmerized as he watched. He had never seen anything like it before.

When Loki stopped moving his hands, they were surrounded with the whirling colours. Leaning closer he blew gently on the wispy ball. The colours began to spread out so he and Tony were soon engulfed in colour. It only lasted for about a minute before Loki brought his hands together and the colours vanished.

"That...was...amazing!" Tony said, staring straight into Loki's eyes where the different shades of green reminded him of the magic that he had just witnessed.

"Thankyou," Loki smiled.

"God how did you get so talented?" Tony murmured, shifting forward to claim Loki's lips.

"Years of practise."

"You're so hot."

"You're not too bad yourself," the god quipped.

Tony put his hands on either side of his face and guided him into another kiss that lasted far longer than the last. It was slow and calming and just what they both needed after these last few days filled with stress and worry. It was also the moment that they both realised it was more than a crush that they had for the other.

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