It wasn't until Shura slammed a book down on the table that Rin Okumura brought his attention back to the room. He was having trouble focusing. Something had been nagging at him, in the pit of his stomach ever since Shiemi had gone off on her own. As much as he wanted to trust in her and her abilities, he still saw her as weak. It was just in her nature.
"Hey, pay attention. This is important, Rin." Shura's brow was furrowed as she sat down on the table and grabbed Rin by the front of his shirt. "We don't have the luxury of worrying about people these days." She released him and held the book up for him. "Arthur told me this might be able to help us summon Sir Pheles, but I'm wary of trusting him just yet. For all we know, this brings Satan right to our doorstep."
Rin crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "We're running out of options. Despite everything, I doubt the Illuminati would want the end of the world."
Shura snorted and rolled her eyes. "If the Illuminati is planning anything, it's nothing that will do us any good. Trust me on that. They've abandoned us, Rin, we've got to do what we can."
"Do they know about Yukio?" Rin lowered his eyes. It was only fair to ask, Yukio was a part of the reason the Illuminati had sacrificed Japan to the demons. When he glanced back up at Shura she was trembling. "Shura?"
"I...I mean, they would have to. By now anyways. Look, Yukio's no good to anyone, so he's safe. If anything we need to worry about you." Her voice cracked when she said his name and Rin did his best not to look like he noticed. He didn't like to think about her relationship with his brother.
Rin scoffed. "Me? Please."
"I'm not kidding, Rin." Shura stared at him with a stern expression, lips drawn in a tight line.
"Neither am I. Why does everyone always think I'm joking?" Rin sounded genuinely pained by the fact no one took him seriously. "Look, I get it, I need to be careful. I am being careful. But I still don't think that that means we should dismiss Yukio. My brother works hard and he's an asset."
Shura chuckled. "Well I'm sure he'd appreciate you calling him an asset, but he's let a lot of people down lately, Rin." She slid off the table and walked across the room. It was small, with only a table for meetings and a scraggly bunch of worn out chairs.
"All my life I've wanted to be smart like he is, reliable and respected." Rin looked down at the book. It was old and worn and reminded him of some of the reading material Yukio had always had on the corner of his desk during late night cramming. "I finally get some of that and I really can't handle the responsibility, can I?"
"Nonsense, you're a born leader, just like Father Fujimoto was. Not entirely conventional, but that's not what matters in the end, is it?" Shura shrugged, hugging her chest. "Just being there for the people you love...it's more important that being the one thing that holds their lives together. Father Fujimoto knew that, you seem to have the instincts for it, but people like me and Yukio, we just do the best we can."
She looked calm and did her best to keep her breathing steady but the rapid movement of her chest gave her away. Rin went to her and hugged her tight before she could resist. She remained stiff until he pulled away awkwardly.
"What the hell was that for?" she muttered.
"I'm not sure, it just felt right." Rin rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"
She rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder. "Fine, can do." In an instant her expression hardened. "You will need to make a decision soon, Rin. And it's going to hinge on what we can do with limited resources. That book might be essential."
Rin picked up the book, hesitant to open it. It didn't feel powerful or evil, it just felt like old leather binding together pages of even older words. He cringed. Latin remained his nemesis to this day.
"Right. I'll...I'll think about it." He scooted past Shura, avoiding eye contact, and shrank out the door. Rin sprinted down the hall to the stairs and climbed them two at a time to the roof.
He stopped at the edge of the roof and held one foot out, ready to take the step, then swung it back and sat down. His legs hung over the side. The air was clearer up here, Rin told himself, so it made things easier. He could think up here. He could clear his head. This time he held the book up over the edge and pulled back one finger at a time until he was clutching it with nothing more than his thumb and forefinger. It was heavy, it could easily fall ten storeys down and break and maybe spontaneously combust and be unusable. He sighed and set the book down next to him, burying his face in his hands.
She compared me to him...
Something warm ran down his cheek. Rin swiped at it feverishly but it came again, streaming across both sides of his face, dripping from his nose and chin. He wouldn't allow himself these tears. What excuse did he have, really? Cowardice? In his mind, Rin was certain that it was Shiemi that always kept him from turning his back on his humanity. She was really the only thing, beyond that he had so little to offer. Even when he had finally had the chance to face Satan, it had been Yukio who'd taken the hit. Yukio who'd shown his true strength.
Rin blinked the rest of his tears away and looked out over the city. From there he could see how little was left of humanity around True Cross. The Illuminati had done there best to cordoning off the city, but when that fell the entirety of Japan itself had become a war-zone. What hope there was left was fleeting. It was only a matter of time before he had to confront Satan again, who's powers had surely only grown since they'd last defeated him.
"Seven years," Rin whispered. "Too long. I've wasted too much time."
He glanced up to the rumble of an explosion, a pocket of smoke and dust bursting in the distance near the school. It wasn't uncommon, but the location set him on edge. It was too close to Shiemi's home, it might have even been one in the same. He clenched something in his hand; the book. Shit. Shura would kill him if he left, but the lump settling in his stomach was too much to handle. He had to make sure Shiemi was alright.
Rin turned to find Shura standing in the doorway looking as upset as he felt. How did she know already? She looked more angry than concerned.
"You need to come with me," she said, nodding for him to follow as the door swung shut behind her.
"Wait, Shura!" Rin cursed and dashed after her, running into her the moment he opened the door.
"If this is about Shiemi, come with me. I promise I won't use the sword, I just need to make sure she's not hurt..."
"What? Shiemi? No." Shura refused to face him. "Shima just stumbled through the front door bleeding from a nasty stomach wound. But the weird thing is, it looks like he'd been stitched up."
"Someone stabbed him and then fixed him?" Rin followed Shura down the metal stairs, the heels of her boots echoing off the walls.
"Beats me, he's not saying anything. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's not talking because he's exhausted from blood loss, but sadly I know you little shits better than I'd like to admit sometimes." Shura paused at the bottom of the stairs.
"Meaning what?"
"You need to talk to him, Rin." Again Shura kept her back to him.
"Okay, fine."
Her arm shot up, blocking his way through the door. She sighed and glanced over her shoulder, keeping her eyes down.
"Not as a friend, but as a...liability."
Rin frowned. "You don't trust him?"
"You shouldn't." Shura dropped her arm and gestured for Rin to go on ahead. He did so with trepidation.
Shima was rested on a makeshift bed of three chairs propped together with a pillow keeping him upright. He gave Rin a pained smile that faded quickly when it wasn't returned. Rin shut the door solemnly and swallowed. He had to take Shura's advice, she'd never been wrong before. He was putting a lot of trust in her, to look for Shiemi for him, to handle Yukio, to be right about Shima. His fingers curled around the spine of the book.
"Where were you?" Rin cleared his throat.
"Out taking in the sights." Shima patted his stomach and flinched. "I ran into Bon and Izumo."
Rin pointed at Shima's hands. "They did that to you?"
"Well, Izumo patched me up, and everyone in Kyoto is fine. My family...Bon's..."
"I didn't ask." He had been so worried about upsetting his friends, about not trusting them, but that had been his weakness. Yukio didn't have such problems and Rin needed to have his brother's strength. "Where are they, Renzuo?"
"I, well, I honestly don't know. I left as soon as I could to avoid getting grilled just like this." He scowled. "What exactly are you trying to get out of me, Okumura? It's not like they're the enemy. They came back for a reason, they can help us."
Rin scuffed his foot against the dirty floor. That was a good question. All Shura had told him was that he couldn't trust Shima, not why or how to deal with it. And the prospect of seeing Bon again raised Rin's hopes. Allies, right? He pictured Shura's stern expression. They had left when they were needed the most. Not allies, but not enemies either...
"Nothing. I was just...making sure everything was sound. Get some rest, Shima. We'll find Izumo and Suguro."
"Rin, I stayed with you guys because it was what I needed to do." Shima struggled against his wound to sit up and wheezed. "Don't make me look as dumb as Suguro likes to think I am. Don't turn out like your brother."
Rin balled his fists, a heavy feeling burning through his chest. The book fell to the floor. Maybe that's what was wrong with him, he was becoming too much like his brother. Controlling, paranoid, afraid of himself more than the demons outside.
"I'm just more careful about where I place my trust these days, Renzuo. We don't know them like we used to. You might think you're protecting Kamiki or Suguro somehow, but what does that make you to me? I can't trust you."
"You sound like your brother." The words bit, but Shima's expression was worried. "Rin, you don't stop trusting your friends."
"They stopped being my friends a long time ago, when they betrayed that trust." Rin picked up the book and drew his fingers down the cover. There were no other options. He left Shima without another word. He would do as Yukio had done before him; whatever it took to protect the people he loved.