Chapter 17

And so finally the time had arrived. The very next day Bruce would be married and everyone would be happy. Hopefully. But before that came Tony's favourite part, the part where he could get pissed and shout stupid advice that no one will ever remember. If only.

"So really, you're not nervous at all?" Tony urged, putting down the piece of metal he was fiddling with.

"Should I be?" Bruce asked absently.

The genius rolled his eyes. Did this guy really feel nothing? Could he not give Tony something? He wouldn't even mind at this stage if Bruce came crying to him with joy that he would be married tomorrow. He wouldn't mind if he screamed at him for not knowing if he wanted to go through with it. But no. The guy was giving him nothing and it was seriously boring him.

"Obviously not." He remained silent for a while then he began to speak again, picking back up the metal. "Like, but what are you going to do? Marriage is supposed to be for life, how do you know that she is the one?"

"It's not about finding the one Tony. It's about being comfortable and believing in your choices. Look when it comes to you being married, then you'll understand what I mean. You never know, it might be sooner than you think."

There was a clang as he dropped the metal on his work surface. Luckily it wasn't heavy enough to leave a dent. He stared at Bruce, opening and closing his mouth but no sound came out. Bruce smiled, at what he had said, or at Tony, the genius didn't know.

"I'm sorry what?"

"I was just thinking that one day you might get married. You are in a relationship now and, you know, when you're with someone for a long time you might decide to move the relationship on a bit."

"A bit," Tony squeaked. "That's fucking marriage! Me and Loki have only been dating for three months."

"Who said I was talking about Loki?" Bruce asked, laughing as his friend struggled to comprehend what he was saying.

"That doesn't even make...no...what? I'm with Loki, there isn't anyone else. What? Who?"

"I was just messing. All I wanted was to see that 'what the hell' look to cross your face and for you to stop questioning me about tomorrow."

"Urgh fine, whatever. I was only curious," Tony answered.

They lapsed into silence as Tony sent Bruce bored glances while the other tapped at his phone screen. Not wanting to share out loud just how bored he was, Tony decided to throw in what he thought were subtle little hints. Every few minutes he would let out a little sigh. As the minutes crept by they grew increasingly more frequent and louder until-

"You're like a child, if you're bored find something to do," Bruce huffed, rolling his eyes at Tony.

"Fine, I have something we can do but involves you talking."

"Alright, alright let's talk."

A smile blossomed on Tony's face as he repositioned himself so he was sitting on the desk directly in front of Bruce. He stared expectantly into his face.

"What are we going to talk about then?" He prompted.

"This was your idea," Bruce retorted, breaking eye contact and instead staring down at his phone.

Tony opened his mouth to speak but the doctor interrupted. "Nothing about the wedding or about my life or about how terrible married life is supposed to be or I'll be forced to unleash the other guy."

"Okay okay I get the picture. Um, so..." He thought for a moment but nothing overly exciting came to him.

"I have a question," Bruce started. Relieved that he no longer had to think up conversation, Tony gestured with his hand for him to continue. "Do you ever imagine yourself marrying Loki?"

"Really? That's your question?"

Bruce nodded and smirked. "You questioned me about my relationship, it's only polite to return the favour." He was only doing this to annoy Tony and to teach him to stop questioning everything, but it was also worth it just to see his constricting emotions and the unsure expressions that crossed his face. It was very rare for Tony Stark to be left speechless.

"Er I haven't really thought about it...Like I said, we've been dating three months not three years."

"Lovely," Bruce said, getting to his feet and heading for the door. Tony frowned at him. "I just wanted to make you feel uncomfortable, I succeeded. Now come on, I'm hungry."

Sighing and mentally slapping himself, Tony followed him out of his workshop realising that he was feeling hungry aswell.

It was the evening, finally. It was also supposed to be Bruce's stag party. Only the problem was that he had set out such specific guidelines that they had ended up scrapping any ideas that were remotely fun and decided instead to spend the time at the tower, drinking and watching crap TV. Tony had still put effort in, ordering the most expensive alcohol that he could find (or more what JARVIS could find) and mixing it up to make odd concoctions that they would all be forced to drink.

The strict guidelines were the part that Tony despised the most. He didn't mind a few rules and, after all, rules were made to be broken and he was always up for a challenge. But no, not this time. It had been totally specified that if he broke any of the rules then the other guy would be unleashed with full force and no hesitations. At first he had laughed it off but then Bruce sent him a look and he vowed to never break any of his rules ever.

So these guidelines, that were actually straight out rules, included absolutely no strippers. No exotic dancers in any way, shape or form. That was the first. This threw Tony off completely that he didn't really even bother to listen to the rest knowing that none of his ideas would ever be passed by Bruce. That was how they all came to be sitting in his living room, drinking and talking with as much gusto as they could manage for the situation.

"So Bruce, who would you say wears the trousers in the relationship?" Clint asked, taking a swig of his beer.

Instead of replying he sent the archer a look that said, really? Are you being serious?

"I do not understand the meaning of this term," Thor commented.

Loki rolled his eyes at him. It was strange how he could be so blind to the world that he was supposed to protect. How could he not pick up these sorts of things? If you asked him to explain how DVD's worked, he probably would only be able to do it with the aid of the other members of the team drawing diagrams that had very specific labels.

"It means who has the control in the relationship, who makes the decisions, who is the more dominant," The black haired god said. "For example it is obvious that the black widow wears the trousers in Clint's relationship."

"Hey," Clint grumbled. "I take control, you might not see it all the time but it's true. It's not like I'm going to give details about what goes on behind closed doors."

"Nothing, I'm assuming," Loki murmured so only Tony could hear.

The genius was leaning on him, with his legs pulled up next to him. Hearing what Loki said, he chuckled and Clint sent him an unamused look, knowing the comment was something about him.

"Fine, who tops in your relationship?" The archer smirked, gulping down more of his beer until he had drained the can. He crushed it in his hand and threw it down on the table before catching the fresh can that Bruce tossed him.

Loki turned to face Tony with a raised eyebrow. Tony felt this was a challenge, a test, and if he failed he would pay for it later.

"I like to think we are equal in that respect Legolas. It's all about give and take."

He glanced over at Loki and saw there was an amused expression on his face. Obviously he had answered correctly.

Steve coughed quietly feeling a blush creep up his cheeks. The conversation had been going so well, everything had been nice. They had had a few drinks and chatted about whatever and yet still they managed to creep back to sex. Back in his time it hadn't been such an open topic. He found the modern day world far too weird. Not just the fact that there were aliens and Norse gods but about how people communicated and their views. It had been just over one and a half years since he had woken up and yet he was still confused.

Reaching forward he grabbed another beer for himself. He cracked open the seal and took a sip before settling back in his chair.

"But like, who's the more masculine in the relationship?" Clint asked, watching with joy at the expressions on both Loki and Tony's faces.

"That's a tough one," Bruce commented.

"Guys really? Is this what we're gunna talk about, who's more masculine?" Tony said. Then he put on a scared expression and faked a worried tone. "You think it's me right?"

"Excuse me darling, are you saying that I'm not masculine?" Loki demanded.

"Not at all, I'm just saying that I am more so than you. Maybe I'm more secure in it than you."

"More secure. Have you ever dressed up as a woman?"

Both Bruce and Steve, who had been sipping their drinks, choked and sprayed the liquid everywhere. They stared at Loki in shock, not sure what to expect next. Their gazes then flashed to Tony who was sitting with his mouth open, watching a smug look take over Loki's features.

"Loki, I thought we would never mention this story again," Thor said quietly, almost in hope that no one would hear. They did.

All of their eyes shot to the blond god then flicked between him and Loki, all with curious expectant expressions on their faces. Having no opposition against sharing the story, Loki began to explain how he and Thor had dressed up as a bride and a handmaid in order to get Mjolnir. The whole time the story was explained Thor's expression turned to total devastation as his friends guffawed. Once Loki had finished they had to wait for Bruce, Clint and Steve to calm down. When the three were able to calm down, their faces were bright red and their breath came out as gasps.

"I hoped we would be able to go for longer without bringing up that tale," Thor muttered into his hands that he was using to hide his face.

"At least you did it, I would like to see the others here dress as a woman," Loki smiled, turning to the others.

Clint sent him a defiant look. "I could."

Raising an eyebrow, the god of mischief said, "Really? Well prove it then."

Just as the archer opened his mouth to protest by saying that he didn't have a dress, a dress appeared in his lap. He stared down at it, running his hands over the almost luminescent pink ruffles that seemed to smother the bottom half of the dress.

"You've got to be kidding me?"

"Hey you said you'd do it," Tony laughed.

Clint sent him a scathing look then stood up and threw the dress over to him. Tony visibly cringed away from the apparent abomination almost collapsing onto Loki as he attempted to escape.

"I don't see why you're laughing, you're doing it too," Loki said to Tony.

He waved his hand and a second later another three dresses appeared. The first rested on the arm of the sofa that Tony occupied with Loki. It was a sky blue with red polka dots. The material was different from Clint's, looking more clingy but softer rather than the archers, whose rustled every time it was touched. One landed on Bruce's knees and the other materialized neatly laid out across the seat next to Steve who eyed it with panic.

"You have got to be joking," They all echoed together.

Loki surveyed them for a second before turning to Thor and smirking. The blonde god smiled back then sent the others all a look that basically said you're doomed.

It was with careful persuasion, delicate wording ad a whole load of alcohol later that all four men were stripping off and pulling on the dresses that had been conjured for them. They struggled into the strange items, reaching behind themselves for zips or else trying to navigate the buttons that were placed inconveniently on the backs of the dresses. As they continued into the items of clothes that would subsequently ruin any form of self respect they ever held for themselves, Loki and Thor rolled around on the sofa's laughing.

Bruce grimaced in his canary yellow dress that fell to the floor. He nearly went flying as he tripped over the end and in the end had to settle for holding up the lower section of the dress with his hands. Steve wasn't feeling much better about his pastel green dress that clung to him like a second skin. In a way he was thankful that it did seeing as his dress was strapless and he really didn't like the thought of having to hold it in place. It was Tony, though, who appeared to be struggling with his most. His dress only just managed to brush his lower thighs. He would have preferred the more modest length of Clint's that reached halfway down his shins but as a whole he hated Clint's the most. With its ruffles and huge puffy sleeves, it was the image of hell.

"See it's not so bad," Loki gasped out, receiving death glares from all of them.

"Not so bad?" Tony asked incredulously. "I bet you didn't wear an outfit designed by Barbie when it was you."

The god opened his mouth to reply but froze when they heard the ding that announced that the lift had arrived. Everyone's eyes flew over to the opposite side of the room where the doors slid open. To their horror it was Fury and Natasha who stepped out. Without a seconds hesitation, they all dived behind one of the sofa's in hope that they wouldn't be spotted. Unfortunately Bruce forgot to hold up his dress. He caught his foot on the hem and went cascading to the floor in a heap of material.

Fury surveyed the scene before him showing little emotion on his face. On the other hand, Natasha's eyes fell on Bruce then flicked to the others who were still trying to hide and finally settling on Thor and Loki who couldn't contain their laughter. She seemed unable to hold in her own because a second later it bubbled over and came out in waves as she guffawed.

"I promise this isn't what it looks like," Bruce scrambled to say.

"Yeah," Natasha snorted, pacing around the sofa so she could get a good look at the others. "Wow Clint, I didn't know you had a thing for ruffles."

Clint sent her a scathing look. "Shut up."

"Could someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?" Fury asked, finally regaining his voice.

Tony, Steve and Clint climbed to their feet and moved into an open space of floor so there was no danger of falling.

"We...we were...proving our masculinity," Tony muttered, not looking him in the eye. Loki could have sworn he saw a faint tinge of pink in his cheeks.

"Whatever you say," Fury replied, eyeing him with amusement. "I just came to ask Stark about the security systems for the tower they've been acting up and I wondered if you'd been messing with them."

"No I haven't touched them," Tony frowned. "I'll have a look into it." He tried to step forward but was held in place by his dress. "Or maybe later."

The morning of the wedding came quicker than expected and yet no one was in a panic. The tower was unusually quiet.

"Shouldn't we at least get up," Loki asked, rolling over so he could look at Tony.

"Mmm probably but I don't want to," He said, drawing the god closer into an embrace. He loved the feeling of his bare skin pressing against the god's.

Loki sighed at the contact, relaxing against his body and resting his head on his shoulder. After the dress situation had been sorted and they had all changed back into normal clothes everyone had gone oddly quiet and quickly excused themselves, saying they needed an early night. Tony had followed Loki into his room and promptly punished him for making him do that and also making him swear to never do it again. Loki had agreed instantly, far more interested in what the genius was planning on doing to him because of it.

"We really must move, this is an important day for your friend and you should be there supporting him."

"Why do you always have to be right," Tony muttered grumpily, climbing out from under the bedcovers and looking around for his underwear.

Smirking, Loki leant to the opposite side of the bed and grabbed the garment off the floor and held them out to Tony who took them with a smile before planting a kiss on the god's lips.

"I'll see you later," He said, pulling on the rest of his clothes. "And you better wear something nice."

"I always wear something nice."

It was Tony's turn to smirk as he replied, "Yes you do and you look sexy in everything but I much prefer you now." His eyes moved from Loki's own and skimmed down his body that had been revealed after he had pushed back the quilt.

"Just go," Loki said, rolling his eyes.

Tony blew him a kiss, winked then left the room without another word.

So instead of fluff, this was supposed to be more amusing. Did I do good? Please review?!