Chapter 19

Tony glanced up from his tablet screen and watched Loki as he sat motionless, gazing out the window over Manhattan. Though he looked interested in the view, Tony knew he wasn't really seeing it. He was in a world of his own, a world that, judging by his expression and the little response Tony got when he spoke, was not a happy place to be. However Loki seemed reluctant to leave his thoughts, no matter if they were happy or sad, so up to this point Tony had left him alone. But now he had had enough, he couldn't look at that sad deeply troubled expression for another second.

He got up from his seat, walked over to his boyfriend and deliberately in front of him, effectively cutting off his view of the city. Loki blinked, his eyes focusing now on the man in front of him.

"Look babe, what's up?" Tony addressed him quietly.

"Nothing," Loki replied with a smile that even he would admit wasn't at all convincing.

"Well," Tony said, moving forward until he was straddling his god's lap. "Why do you look so miserable?"

"I don't."

Leaning back, Tony surveyed Loki then answered. "If I sat here, not doing anything and showing little signs of life, would you think there was something wrong? Yes. So I'll ask again, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I promise. Stop worrying," The god smiled, reassuring enough to convince Tony just slightly.

He still believed there was something wrong, something bigger than what Loki was letting on to. But he let it go. The more he pushed Loki, the greater the chance would be that he would turn angry which would probably lead to an argument that Tony really didn't fancy having.

"Fine, fine, fine, but I am going to do something about that look on your face."

Diving forward he latched onto Loki's lips with his own, not letting go until the god was letting out small moans of pleasure. He brushed his lips over Loki's jaw and started off down his neck, gently sucking then running his tongue over the light marks that he left. By this time Loki was becoming breathless and something was beginning to stir in his boxers. Grabbing Tony's chin, he pulled his face back up so he could reattach their lips in a desperate kiss.

He directed his other hand, the one not resting on the genius's face, down over Tony's body, finding the edge of shirt and pushing it up revealing his so far unmarked skin. Running his fingers over the exposed flesh, he felt Tony groan into the kiss. Loving the reactions he received, Loki glided his hands round to Tony's back before slipping one inside his trousers, beginning to stroke his growing erection.

Tony gasped at the contact and Loki chuckled against his neck, where he had moved to teasing the skin there.

"If anyone walks in, oh god," He cursed, as Loki brushed his thumb over the tip, smearing his pre-cum over the head. "I am so dead."

"I thought this was your tower, it will be their own fault for interrupting."

"It is my tower but they still live here," Tony replied, running his own hands under Loki's shirt and feeling his smooth, cool skin.

"But you own it, you can do what you want, you can do whatever you want." Loki moved his lips to Tony's ear and spoke his next words in a low whisper. "You can even do me." He licked the shell of his ear before pulling back and staring Tony straight in his brown eyes that were clouded with lust.

"But if anyone walks in-"

"They will get a damn good show," Loki interrupted. "Now stop stalling and fuck me."

Tony didn't need telling twice. He pushed up Loki's top and forced it over his head then dropped it off the side of the sofa. Now with his whole torso revealed, Tony leant forward and began to mark him again, sucking harder until he left large red marks that wouldn't be fading any time soon. After working over the god's collarbone and partly down his chest, he took hold of his right nipple between his teeth and bit down gently. Loki let out a soft hiss of pleasure that turned into a low moan as Tony began to lick and suck it. He moved onto the left once he was satisfied with the first and made quick work of giving the other the same treatment.

Using his hand, that wasn't still teasing Tony through his underwear, Loki worked on his top, pulling it over the genius's head. This meant he lost contact of Tony's sips for a second, but soon they were back and working even lower.

Shifting backwards off Loki's lap, Tony slid to the floor so he was kneeling in front of him. He tugged on the edge of the god's trousers, pulling him forward so it was easier to undo the button and work them a good way down his legs along with his boxers.

He wrapped his hand around Loki's cock and began pumping it, occasionally swiping his thumb over the head before replacing it with his mouth, sucking on the end and making Loki moan in pleasure. Holding eye contact the whole time, Tony took more and more of Loki into his mouth until he was deep throating him. Slowly he pulled away then he pushed back down, again taking the whole length. Soon he built a rhythm that had Loki groaning and muttering curses under his breath.

"Enough," Loki growled, pulling Tony away and off him.

Loki undid Tony's trousers and tugged them down hastily, becoming far too impatient to wait any longer. Noticing his urgency, Tony helped out by stepping fully out of his trousers and removing Loki's properly too so they were both now fully naked. The god brought his face closer and drew Tony into a deep kiss. Their tongues danced and dived against eachother, Loki tasting himself on Tony's.

During the kiss Loki managed to slip off the sofa and onto his knees as well. Breaking apart for air, he took the opportunity and bent over the sofa and spread his legs at a wide enough angle for Tony, but not too wide to that he would fall down.

Tony saw how inviting that position was and knew exactly what Loki wanted. However, he wanted to make him wait, he wanted him to suffer and beg.

Spreading Loki's butt cheeks with the palms of his hands, he moved his face closer and ran his tongue around the edge of his tight hole. Loki let out a harsh gasp that caught in his throat as Tony pushed into him. He thrust his tongue in as far as he could before bringing it out and repeating the action, each time rewarding more gasps and whimpers from Loki.

He drew his tongue out for the last time and instead replaced it with two fingers. He pumped them in and out, occasionally scissoring them, while he nibbled and kissed the skin just above the hole. After some time he added and another finger that caused Loki to release a long moan.

"I'm so close," He said, then cried out as Tony hit his prostate.

Tony removed his finger and wrapped them instead around his own neglected cock. He guided it to Loki's entrance, pumping it a few time before positioning himself and pushing inside the hot furnace. The muscle contracted around him, making him moan himself from the tight warmth that felt so good.

He kept thrusting forward until his whole length was swallowed up, then he pulled out and pounded back in. Normally he would have started out slow but today he couldn't hold back and he knew Loki didn't want him to. His rhythm picked up to a blinding speed and before long a tight coiling started in his stomach that soon became unbearable. Angling just right, with each thrust he hit Loki's prostate.

"Ah ahh oh by the god's, Tony, A-Anthony yes, yes yes. More!"

These encouragements sent him over the edge. With a few more thrusts he was soon cumming deep inside Loki, moaning his name the whole time. He rode out his orgasm then pulled out of the god.

"Tony, please." The desperate whisper reached him.

He looked at Loki and saw he was pumping his own erection, desperate for release. Knocking his hand out the way, Tony replaced it with his own and wrapped his mouth back around the head. Loki released into his mouth with a quiet drawn out moan and watched as Tony swallowed every last drop.

Both totally spent and with little energy left between them. Loki cast a simple spell that cleaned them up to a reasonable degree and also put their clothes back on their bodies. Now totally exhausted, Loki crawled back onto the sofa with Tony and nestled his head into his chest while the genius put and arm around his waist and drew him close. They took a second to just appreciate eachother and how lucky they were to have eachother before unconsciousness claimed them and they fell into dreamless sleeps.

Jolting slightly, Loki opened his eyes a crack and looked out across the living room, trying to see who had just entered. He heard footsteps, the sound of high-heeled shoes on the hard wood floor. It had to be Pepper. Not wanting to talk to her or even acknowledge her presence, he closed his eyes again and attempted to go back to sleep.

The footsteps drew close but then he heard another pair, this persons were far lighter. This meant it was either Clint, with his archery skills he had learnt to be quick and light on his feet, or it was Natasha, who had been taught the art of stealth and mastered it brilliantly.

"Hey Pep, what are you doing here?" Clint asked.

So it was the archer, Loki thought.

"I came to get some more signatures from Tony because he never keeps on top of his paper work. But then I got here and..." Her words faded off as she nodded towards the pair that were still wrapped around eachother on the sofa.

"Trust me, they grow on you," Clint replied.

Pepper sent him a really? Look. "But how do you accept them? How do you accept him, especially after what he did?"

"Loki will always be a dick, he will always be the dick that enslaved me and tried to take over the world. But now he is also the dick that makes Tony happy, which is funny because his dick also makes Tony happy." He laughed then saw Pepper's disapproving look and quickly stopped. "Sorry, not the time."

Pepper shook her head. "I just don't understand it. I know him and I broke up, we just wasn't right for eachother. But how is Loki a good replacement, how is he better than me? He is crazy and should be locked up somewhere. How do you all just let him walk around with a collar and lead?"

"That's a bit harsh you haven't seen the change we have. I'm not saying he's totally safe but he's stable. And I don't know why Tony likes him but he does, they are actually surprisingly good together."

A doubtful expression formed on Pepper's face. "No, I don't buy it. There's something there that's not right, he's probably using him. Or just getting him into bed for the kicks or something, I don't know. All I know is that it's wrong, Tony should know better than to get with someone like him."

Clint wasn't impressed by what she said but he didn't comment, instead offering to take the papers that she wanted signing and give them to Tony later. She agreed and left the small stack on the kitchen island before saying goodbye and leaving. The archer stayed for a few seconds, staring at Tony and Loki before shrugging and heading for the fridge. He pulled out some food then got the lift back to his own floor, having got what he came for.

Once Loki heard that they were both gone, his eyes flew open. So this was the truth, this was what she truly thought. But was this just her? Or was this everyone? Did they all think this? Did they all think he was playing Tony for kicks? It wasn't true, he knew it wasn't true but the others apparently thought it was. Never would he do that to someone. Yes, in the past he had hurt short term lovers and only kept them around for the company but Tony wasn't like that. He cared for Tony, hell he loved Tony and yet these people all thought it was fake.

Loki lifted his head from Tony's chest and looked at his face. He looked so peaceful during slumber. There was no worry, no emotion, it was just Tony without anybody or anything changing him. This was the natural him. Loki loved to watch him sleep but now he couldn't look at him, he didn't want to hurt him. He wanted this expression to remain forever and yet he knew it wouldn't. There would be pain and sadness and Loki knew that he would be the cause.

Disentangling himself from Tony's arms, he managed to slip away from his grip and walk out the room, not knowing that as he pulled away Tony's eyes flickered and opened.

"Loki?" Tony asked, but he had already left the room and was out of earshot.

Sitting up, Tony frowned. What was wrong with Loki at the moment? It was really starting to worry him. Had something happened that he didn't know about? Had he had a disagreement with Thor that had ended badly? Not having any answers, he followed after the god.

"Hey Loki," he began, finding the god sitting next to the huge window in the second sitting room with all the books. "What's up?"

The god looked up at him and he could have sworn he saw a tear run down his cheek. It was gone, however, as soon as he thought he saw it, Loki having rubbed his hands over his face as he stood up.

"Why do you like me, Anthony?" Loki asked quietly.

"What?"

"Why do you like me? Why are you in a relationship with me? Why do you even tolerate me?" Loki asked again, a note of desperation creeping into his voice.

"I don't tolerate you Loki, I like to be round you. It's not like it's a job, I actually enjoy your presence, I like to talk to you and sometimes I even like to argue with you just so I can see your face angry because you look even more attractive than normal. You're intelligent, you're different, you're awesome in bed...What's brought this on?"

"N-nothing, I just wondered."

"Look Loki I can't just tell you why I like you, but I do. I know it's a stupid explanation but I honestly don't know myself, something about you just drew me in then suddenly I realised I was in deep and I couldn't escape but by that time I had already realised I didn't want to."

Loki looked at him sadly before taking a deep breath. That was a very good answer, he truly felt special and worth something at this moment and he also knew he was about to ruin it.

"I told you not that long ago there was stuff I still need to tell you but I wasn't ready yet, well I am now."

"O-kay," Tony said, now feeling just the tinniest bit nervous.

Taking a couple of steps back, Loki took one more glance at Tony, knowing he would never look at him in the same way again, then he closed his eyes and felt coldness wash over him. It travelled throughout his body and came from the inside out. It started with his heart and travelled through his veins and arteries until it reached ever part of his body and consumed it.

He heard Tony take a sharp intake of breath and knew it was done. Loki opened his eyes, very reluctantly, and stared at the floor.

"Err umm Loki, what's with the blue?"

"This...this is my natural form. This is what my people look like, you know I am adopted, well I come from Jotunheim, the land of the frost giants and this is what we look like."

He could feel Tony's eyes on his but he didn't make contact, preferring to look at the floor and not see the disgust that was surly waiting for him.

"Loki, why do you seem so sad about it? You look like you hate yourself."

"That's because I do. I hate this skin, I hate what I am, I hate my true heritage and everything that goes with it. I hate Jotunheim and its race. This skin," Loki spat, his own disgust obvious in his tone. "This is everything I hate, this is everything that has ever caused me pain, this is the reason my life went so wrong, this is the reason why I'm alone, why I have no family, why I can't be loved."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" Loki asked, glancing up for the first time. He was shocked to see that it was not hate and disgust that met him.

"Yes you are. This form may have caused you to be unhappy and caused your life to not be the best it could have been. But you're not alone, you're not without family and you can be loved and you are! Now come here."

"What?"

"I said come here," Tony said again, but seeing that Loki wouldn't move, he himself closed the space between them and pulled Loki down into a searing kiss.

When Tony pulled back he kept his forehead resting against Loki's. "Don't ever, don't ever think that people don't care or that people will not love you or people will leave you just because of this. I certainly won't, it's a part of you and I will love it because I love you."

It took almost a minute for them both to realise what had just been said and neither of them said a thing. Tony hadn't meant to let that slip, he hadn't been prepared to tell Loki yet about how he felt and yet it just slipped out.

Loki felt warmth well up inside him as those words sunk in. Tony loved him. Tony loved him. He willed himself to say it back. He wanted to return the words with his own. He wanted to tell Tony he loved him too but he couldn't, the words just wouldn't come out. It fought hard but they wouldn't come. It was as though there was a barrier blocking them, locking them inside him so they could never be shared.

A voice filled his head again. One that he really wished hadn't spoken, that he wished was fake and that would stop haunting him.

"He's lying. He's lying. He doesn't care. No one can ever love you," Thanos laughed coldly, the echoes of his sick joy staying with Loki long after the voice had faded.

I'm sorry for that, I hate vulnerable Loki but it needed to happen. I feel like this story has just dived into sadness, but it is going to get much worse. Sorry again in advance. Please review?!