Well this is a longer update than last week and it's a day early so you're welcome! I'm sorry in advance just because...trust me you'll see!

Chapter 21

From the first moment he remained consciousness his hand flew up to his head, trying and failing to stop the ache just by massaging it with his finger tips. He had gone to sleep that night hoping that the pain would dissipate, allowing his memory to come back. All he could recall was the pain and Thanos, the parts that he really wanted to forget.

Struggling out from between his bed sheets, Loki walked into his bathroom and stared at his reflection. It was safe to say that he looked rough and not the kind after a wild night drinking, the kind that hinted dramatically to the person being extremely disturbed and troubled.

He turned on the tap and patted his face with cold water, hoping that the small shock would refresh him or at least awaken him slightly more before he left his room. Seeing that it had no effect when he glanced back in the mirror, he decided to go all out and have a cold shower. The water cascaded over his head and dripped from the ends of his un-brushed hair. He picked up the bottle of shampoo and massaged some into his scalp before he watched the bubbles gather round his feet as the foam washed away. Just before he exited the cubicle, he smothered himself in shower gel and washed it off, making sure that he was fully clean.

Once dried and dressed, Loki hung around in his room for a few minutes, not knowing what to do and still not remembering anything. After some thinking time he realised the best option was to find Tony and talk to him. He had a feeling something bad had happened yesterday and he had to make sure he hadn't said anything that could be permanently damaging.

He decided it was best to knock on Tony's bedroom door before entering, but seeing as he got no reply he walked in anyway. As he had expected, Tony was fast asleep with one arm above his head, resting on the pillow, while the other lay on his stomach that rose and fell in rhythm with his steady breathing.

Loki let out his own steady breath then stepped forward to the edge of the bed and sat down. The sinking of the mattress caused Tony to stir. He looked blearily up at Loki with an odd look of his face that made the god immediately uncomfortable. However he chose to ignore it for now, putting it down to the fact that perhaps he had startled Tony by sitting there.

"Good morning," Loki said. "I missed waking up next to you this morning."

It was true. Every night for weeks he had been sharing Tony's bed and the fact that he had awoken alone put even more worry in his mind and a heavier weight to settle on his heart.

"Morning," Tony replied, still eyeing him oddly. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, are you?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. It's just after yesterday, I just thought..."

His words drifted away into silence.

"You thought what?" Loki asked, wishing Tony would be specific so he could paint a clear picture of the night's events.

"I don't know. I thought you'd still be angry, that we wouldn't talk, that we'd need to talk about it."

"We are talking about it."

"But you're talking so carefully as though you don't even remember," Tony said, anger accidently creeping into his voice.

Loki stared at the ground, not wanting to look at anything even close to Tony. What was he supposed to say? How could he say that he remembered nothing and he had no idea what was going on? He assumed they had had some sort of argument but the only thing he could remember was Thanos. He shivered at the thought of him.

"That's because I don't," He answered very quietly.

"What? How can you not remember?"

"I...I don't know."

Tony let out a very frustrated sigh as he got out of bed, rubbing his hand over his unshaven chin. For some time he just paced up and down before it all became too much and his anger exploded.

"How the fuck can you not remember Loki? What is the matter with you? You are acting so fucking weird and now you can't even remember getting pissed at me yesterday. What is going on? Seriously, I want an answer because I have no fucking idea."

The god let him rage, not once flinching or even moving. He just watched as Tony shouted everything that had been eating at him for longer than Loki had known about. Perhaps this would be a good moment to tell him about Thanos, he thought, but soon changed his mind, thinking Tony would probably think he was making up excuses.

"So, don't you have anything to say?"

"I don't know," Loki replied.

"You don't know, you don't fucking know. Wow, well that's just great, fucking fantastic," Tony shouted sarcastically.

"What do you want me to say? I don't all the answers."

"I wish you did," Tony muttered.

Loki couldn't take it anymore, he had to get out. He needed air, he needed some space. His head was still pounding and he could have sworn it had gotten worse. Not looking back at Tony even once, Loki headed for the door and entered into the corridor that led to both their rooms. He hurried along, walking towards the kitchen for a drink of water. Tony didn't follow.

Just as he reached the open living room, his head began to ache even more until-

"Well well Loki, seems like you're messing up everything yourself. By the time I get there they'll be nothing left for me to destroy."

The voice made Loki freeze. No. No. Why was this happening again? Why now?

"Have you realised it ye? Have you noticed yet how much he doesn't care? He hates you Loki. Stop kidding yourself and realise that he is using you. He never loved you."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

"You really think that's going to work? I'm inside your head, I'm a part of you. You can't destroy me without destroying yourself."

"Stop lying to me, you're dead. You're not really here, you can't be," Loki said loudly.

"Aww is little Loki scared, is little Loki confused? Good. You should be," Thanos hissed.

"No no NO, LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU'RE NOT HERE, YOU'RE NOT REAL!"

"Loki, what's going on?" Tony asked, stumbling into the room after leaving his room swiftly because of the shouts.

He moved towards Loki but stopped abruptly as Loki held up a hand towards him. As he watched Loki doubled over as though in unbearable agony, panic stirred inside him. Was Loki having a breakdown? The god looked so scared. What the hell was going on? The questions whirled around his head, with each spin they gained more momentum and added even more to the mix until his brain was nothing but unhelpful.

More than anything he wanted to run forward and hold Loki, he didn't know what he would do after that but just wanted to reassure him. He knew he had acted like a dick earlier but everything was really starting to get to him. The thought of not knowing what was wrong with Loki was just becoming too much, he needed to know what was wrong just for his own piece of mind. He wanted to know if he could help, he needed to know that he could help.

"Loki? Loki, look at me. What's going on?"

Loki tried to look up but his head was forced back down by a will that wasn't his own. Instead he looked towards the window then down at the floor.

"Just look at it Loki, look at the pathetic mortal that apparently you love. How could you love scum like this?"

"Shut up. AHHH LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"How could I ever? This is far too much fun."

"You're sick!" Loki spat.

"What? Loki, who's sick?"

"UHH I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE," Loki cried, falling to the floor and letting his tears run free.

Tony ran forward and supported him as he kneeled on the ground. He held onto both his arms and tried to get into the god's line of sight, repeating the same few phrases to try and get Loki to look at him. Loki just carried on mumbling to himself.

After what felt like hours, though it was only a few minutes, Loki looked straight at Tony. "Please," He breathed. "Please help me, it's...it's him."

"Him? Loki, who's him?"

"He tells me things and threatens me. He says he's coming and I'm so scared. Please Anthony, please help me."

What was he supposed to do? How could he help? Every single second he saw Loki in this state ripped away another tiny piece of his heart. Not having any other ideas, he pulled the god close like he had wanted to do in the first place and wrapped his arms around him, trying to create a bubble of security. If only the problem wasn't already inside the bubble.

"He doesn't really care. He's lying, he's playing you. He's still in love with that blond, Miss Potts. I'm inside your head little Loki, I know about your jealousy, I know how much you fear her. You think she will take him away. But the truth is, he was never yours in the first place."

Loki's breathing increased and his head began to spin. He wanted the voice out, he wanted Thanos away. He was supposed to be dead. How was this happening? The shock and adrenaline continued to pulse through his veins, he hadn't even realised he was shaking until he felt Tony hold him tighter and heard him whisper calming nothings into his ear.

Seeming to have control of his body again, Loki shifted even closer to the genius and buried his face in his chest and tangled his fingers into his t-shirt, tugging at it slightly. It was all for reassurance, he needed to feel safe and Tony's familiar scent and presence offered exactly that.

The minutes began to tick by and no more was heard. For a fleeting second Loki thought that it might be the end, that the Thanos inside his head had gone and he was free again. But no. Things were never that simple.

He had been resting against Tony for quite some time, just breathing deeply in rhythm with him, when everything went white and his head was hurting more than he ever thought was possible. He couldn't see, he couldn't hear, he couldn't think. All he was and all he could feel was Thanos.

"Get off me," Loki said quietly, but it wasn't him talking.

Tony, however, couldn't sense the change and frowned.

"What Loki, what's up?"

"Don't pretend you care. Now step away from me."

He did as he was told and watched Loki from a distance as he got to his feet in one swift movement. All trances of fear and uncertainty were gone. His face was now a mask of nothing.

"Don't look at me like that. So uncertain, so scared that perhaps your Loki has gone. Perhaps you're thinking that he was never there and all of this has been a wild fantasy."

"Loki what-"

"I'm not finished," Loki snarled and Tony took another few steps backwards. "Perhaps you're reconsidering your love. Love. Such a stupid worthless word, a bit like yourself really, stupid worthless mortal who foolishly believes that a god of Asgard could actually love something of such little significance."

Tony didn't know what to do. Loki had gone from remembering nothing to having a break down to feeling as though he was above everyone. He wondered if this was how it used to be and at some point down the line he got stuck at the point where he believed was better than everyone and that thought was the thing that drove him to such destruction and chaos.

"But Loki has never told me he loves me, that's the difference."

"You speak as though I am not Loki when it is obvious because I am standing right in front of you."

"I don't believe you're Loki," Tony said dangerously, almost challenging.

"Ah you're just demonstrating the pointless optimism that most humans seem to possess."

"Yes it is my pointless optimism that prays that you are not the real Loki. I know I've barely known him compared to some but I know him enough to know this isn't him. I fell in love with the real him and what I see now is nothing to what he is. Whatever you are, I will find you and destroy you."

"Then you will be destroying the one you love because I am Loki and that won't be changing."

The Loki that stood before Tony laughed hysterically, an evil grin firmly in place.

"Why don't you just give up?" The Loki asked suddenly, surprising Tony.

"Give up on what?"

"On me, why don't you just accept the fact that I don't care about you? That I don't love. That I just used you. That you are nothing. That you will be destroyed."

"Because I don't want to. It's probably due to my pointless optimism that I choose not to give up on people and that I choose to fall so deeply in love with things that I know are broken and doomed." Tony looked at Loki sadly. "I know Iron Man is broken, it's a broken dream. I knew from the moment that I created it, it would be my doom and yet I love it. And I love Loki. Even though he is still so broken, I love him more than I love anything which is so ridiculously stupid. I also still love him even though I know he's doomed. Whatever you are, whatever you're doing, you're hurting him and I will break you before you break him."

"That's funny because that was exactly what I was planning on doing to you."

Ouch, that hurt. But it was also the proof Tony needed to truly convince himself that this wasn't Loki. He knew Loki cared because, though he liked to think he was, he wasn't that good at lying to Tony. If he had ever tried, the genius always managed to spot the very subtle give away that was always there. It was something that had taken time to perfect but he was now so glad at this moment that he had.

"Look Loki, wherever you are in there, you've gotta fight back. Fight. I can help you, we can all help you," Tony implored, trying a new angle because he was becoming desperate.

"I do not need help," Loki spat.

"I wasn't talking to you."

Tony made eye contact and continued to stare until the urge to blink became too much. Loki was unfazed and started to pace again. Back and forth. Back and forth. Following the same path across the hard wood flooring.

Loki fought hard to escape from the prison that Thanos had pushed him into. He was still inside his own body and he could hear every word being said but he could do nothing. When he heard Tony telling him to fight, he really tried. He put in everything he had and pushed at the invisible walls that were keeping him locked away. He didn't know how long it would take and he didn't even know how strong Thanos was. Was he strong enough to hold on? Would Thanos ever let up and allow him back? Would he remain like this forever?

The Loki standing in front of Tony twitched slightly and froze mid stride.

"Something wrong?" Tony asked, not actually caring at all.

"Nothing you should concern yourself over," Loki said, but his voice wavered at the end giving him away.

Tony guessed what was happening straight away. Loki was in there and he was fighting. He had heard Tony talk.

"Argghhh." Loki buckled over clutching at his chest and stomach as though something was trying to claw its way out. "No, you will not."

He staggered to the side and clung to the coffee table for support. His breathing came out in ragged gasps and his face had gone impossibly pale. Tony didn't speak but watched the scene unfold before him.

"NO!" Loki screamed. And then he was gone.

Tony blinked then rubbed his eyes and blinked again.

"Loki, Loki? Where are you? Loki?"

Panic arose inside him and his own breathing quickened. He scanned the room but saw no one and no traces to say anyone had been there. Running from room to room, he had soon checked the whole top floor of the tower. Nothing.

The panic took over as he fumbled for the phone in his pocket. His hand shook so much that it fell from his grip and landed heavily on the floor. At this moment, though, he really didn't care if it was broken.

"JARVIS," He said steadily, trying desperately to not let his voice falter and reveal his panic. "Call the Avenger's up here now and tell them it's urgent."

"What? Loki's gone, but how?" Clint questioned for the umpteenth time.

"For god's sake Clint, he just explained it," Natasha said exasperatedly.

It hadn't taken them all too long to arrive but the difficult bit had been them all turning up at different times. The first to arrive was Steve, who immediately questioned Tony. He refused to speak until everyone else got there but when they did, one by one, the process was repeated and in the end he just told them all to shut up and wait for Bruce, who was the last to arrive.

"I do not understand," Thor frowned. "Who do you believe was Loki if he was not himself?"

"He never said. I've told you all everything I know but it's just...what do we do now?"

"I'd say we should just remain calm. There's no point freaking out if there is no need to. How about we give it a couple of days and if he doesn't come back then we'll alert S.H.I.E.L.D of what's happened."

"But they might find out before hand, what do we do then?"

"We'll deal with it when it happens," Bruce sighed then turned to Tony. "Do you have any footage of what happened?"

"Yes Sir, I have the whole event tapped, would you like to see it?" JARVIS said, his cool English accent breaking the short silence that had formed.

"Go for it."

A screen appeared in front of them and they all leaned in to watch. Tony was the only who didn't, seeing it once was bad enough and he was still in shock from the first time.

Loki was gone and he didn't know where. He didn't know if he was okay or if he was hurt. He didn't know who was doing this or how they were doing it. He didn't know anything. That was the thought that was scaring him most. That and the tiny chance that maybe, just maybe, he would never see Loki again. He swallowed and buried that thought as far down as he could. No, he couldn't even consider that.

Again I'm sorry. Please review?! :)