Next weeks update will be the last one before I go on holiday for 2 weeks where I won't have wifi just to let you know. Enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 22

"Tony?"

"Hmmm...What?"

"You've been staring at a blank screen, the video finished playing about five minutes ago," Steve said heavily.

"Oh sorry," Tony replied, but didn't make any more effort to pull himself out of his own thoughts.

Watching the screen again, it wasn't the same. This time he could see himself as well as Loki. He could notice the changes, he could see his own fear, he could mark the points where his brain was working on a new plan, a new angle that he could go from. He watched as the realisation struck that this wasn't Loki and his eyes glazed over as soon as Loki, or whoever it was, vanished without a trace.

After the screen went black, he didn't say a word, only stared. Every single awful thought was hitting him at once and it was very safe to say that it was overwhelming. He had guessed that Loki was still there, locked inside, and he had spoken to him, he had told him to fight. That was the point that the Loki in front of him had started to panic and look as though he was in pain, and then he had vanished. He hoped that wherever Loki was now, the real Loki, he had managed to fight his way out and reclaim his own body. He hoped that he was on his way home.

"Look, this is probably the worst time ever to bring this up," Clint said, then hesitated glancing over at Natasha who huffed but didn't object to him speaking. "But, on that video, you said you loved Loki."

"Yeah, and?" Tony said, looking over at him.

"Well umm...err...well I didn't know that."

"Seriously, we're doing this now? I don't care if you didn't know, I don't care if you did know. I don't care if you like it, I don't care if you hate it. It won't change anything."

"I wasn't going to say anything like that," Clint protested. "What I was going to say was that...well...I'm glad. I'm happy for you two, you're good together...I might even stretch to saying you're great together and..."

His words trailed off as he met Tony's gaze and saw the sadness and worry in his friends eyes.

"Thanks," Tony muttered sincerely before walking out the room into his bedroom.

Natasha rounded on Clint but he interrupted her before she could say anything. "Look, don't get all pissy at me. It was a nice thing to say and he was grateful. I know it was a bad time but I think it will be the only time. If Loki doesn't come back soon, that man is going to be a mess and we need to be here for him."

"I wasn't going to get pissed at you Clint," Natasha said. "It was a lovely thing to say I was just shocked that it was you saying it."

"Aww thanks, I love the confidence you have in me."

She leant forward and kissed him briefly on the cheek. "And you're right, we need to be here for him."

They all nodded and murmured agreements but no one said anything more, what could they say?

He was flying, spinning out of control. Suddenly it stopped, everything went still. All that he could hear was his own quickened breath. He looked around him but saw nothing so took a few tentative steps. The sound of his feet hitting the grey floor echoed around him, bouncing off the invisible walls. Everywhere was grey, everywhere was empty.

"It's lovely to see you again, properly."

Loki whipped around and was met with the grinning face of Thanos.

"I can't say the same about you."

"Oh little Loki, stop this hate. Remember, at one point you worshipped me, you did everything I told you to do without question-"

"I also killed innocents and had no control over my own mind," Loki retorted, pacing up and down.

"It never bothered you before," Thanos said.

Loki snorted but didn't respond. He continued to walk up and down in short lines, retracing his own steps over and over again. Was this real? It felt real but where was there a place that was just grey. There was nothing else around him except for Thanos, and there was no other sound apart from his footsteps and his breathing. Was this inside his head? Did that mean it wasn't real? This definitely felt real.

"You seem troubled, Loki, why not tell me what's wrong?"

He glanced up glared at Thanos. "Oh it's nothing, you know, there's just someone living in my head and possessing me but it's not a big deal."

"Come now, sarcasm really doesn't suit you."

The anger inside Loki rose up and burst through the surface before he could even think about what he was doing. But even if he had had time he would have done the exact same thing. He lunged at Thanos and they both went tumbling to the ground. For a few seconds they were a mess of flailing limbs and misplaced kicks until Thanos vanished and reappeared a few metres away.

"Really, must we fight like animals...I'd rather fight like god's," He said, twisting his hands round fast and drawing a ball of fire from nowhere.

He gave Loki no warning before he threw it but luckily the black haired god's reflexes were perfect and he dodged out the way with minimal effort. Quickly, he made a similar pattern with his hands and produced a sphere or glittering gas that, when it made contact with Thanos, exploded and surrounded him.

When it cleared Thanos was left on his knees, panting hard with one hand resting on the ground for support.

"Was that godly enough for you?" Loki asked, as he walked towards him.

"You have your magic back," Thanos said, looking up at him. "I'm glad, I always admired your skill."

Loki laughed breathily. "Flattery won't help you."

"You can't kill me little Loki."

"We'll see."

He then drew his fist back, magic swirling round it in thick clouds that couldn't be determined as solid, liquid or gas, and pushed it forward, the magic flying away from his hand and making contact with Thanos at lightning speed. Thanos let out a muffled sound of pain before he collapsed to the floor, limp and unmoving.

Taking a shaky breath, Loki made to bend down and check for a pulse. But just as he made to do so, Thanos vanished, as though blown away in a breeze. However there was no wind and it was impossible for him to just vanish.

Loki looked around himself in panic, believing he would just appear again and hit him from behind. Soon his head started hurting. The pain grew and grew until it was overwhelming and then everything imploded and he felt like he was rising up and expanding outwards. Then everything was black.

"You can't get rid of me little Loki, I'm a part of you. Remember I'm coming. I have found you and now I'm coming to claim you."

He blinked once, twice, and squinted at the bright light that was attacking his eyes. Pushing himself into a sitting position, Loki stared around him and was utterly shocked by what he saw. He was on a beach, a very small and totally deserted beach that the tide was lapping at languidly. The sun wasn't too high in the sky meaning that it was late morning and birds flew overhead, calling out to one another and occasionally swooping down to peck at something on the sand.

Climbing to his feet, Loki dusted some of the sand off himself and took another look around him. He definitely didn't recognise this place. He thought back and realised that he had no idea of how he had gotten here. He remembered everything that had just happened, but it felt more like a dream than reality.

Before giving it another thought, he made up his mind of what to do. Closing his eyes tightly, he teleported back to the Avengers tower.

He materialized in the centre of the living room. No one was around and it was totally silent. Then he heard distant footsteps and a second later Tony appeared and threw himself at Loki, wrapping his arms around him and clinging on tightly.

"W-what happened?" Loki gasped breathlessly.

"You've been gone for almost a week. I've been going out of my head." Tony drew back quickly and hit him hard on the arm. "Why the fuck would you do that to me?"

"What? How? I can only remember some hazy things that I think were a dream and then I woke up on some beach. I came straight back. How can I have been gone for a week, I don't remember anything."

"You're back, that's all that matters," Tony whispered, pulling him close again.

This time Loki responded to the gesture and put his arms around Tony, holding him as he rested his head in the crook of the god's neck. He pressed soft kisses along the skin that he traced with his lips, drawing a line of goose bumps from Loki's shoulder up to the corner of his mouth that Tony soon attacked with the gentleness he had been using the whole time. Loki let out a soft gasp of appreciation.

It had been a week, well almost a week if he was being precise, since he had seen Tony. Though it felt like he had been gone for a shorter amount of time he had still felt a sense of loss without him near. The genius had become like a drug and if he didn't get his daily dose then his cravings would attack his body and cause his thoughts to muddle and his days to feel meaningless. He supposed this was what love did to someone. Having never experienced it before, he wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel but right now it felt good. He was back. He was with Tony and things finally felt right again.

They didn't move for some time, just standing in the middle of the room, wrapped around one another. Soon, though, Loki felt incredibly weary and moved away to sit down. He pulled Tony along by the hand and just relocated on one of the sofas.

"So everything's good again, you're alright now," Tony asked hesitantly, not looking up into Loki's face. He didn't want to see the possible concern or confusion that was most likely there.

"I believe so," Loki replied, not knowing what his genius was referring to but finding it best not to question.

He let his head drop back as he shut his eyes. He was extremely tired and his body ached. Assuming it was from his excursion to the beach, he didn't question it. He didn't even register the dull ache in his head that had just started up again. It had happened so often recently that it felt like a part of him. He felt no different from normal.

"Loks? Babe?"

"Hmm," Loki mumbled, his eyelids fluttering open.

It had only taken a short time for him to fall into a deep sleep but that got interrupted by Tony, who was now tapping his arm lightly and saying his name.

"You were muttering stuff and you started like thrashing so I thought it would be better to wake you."

"Okay, thankyou." He didn't remember if he had even had a dream or not, whether it was bad or not didn't matter. But he was awake now.

Tony watched the god and a soft smile crept onto his lips. He was back. The thought was really starting to sink in and he was relieved that he hopefully would never have to go through such pain and worry again. Oh how wrong he was.

"Hello little Loki, did you have a nice nap?"

Loki sat bolt upright as panic flooded through him. No. No, this couldn't be happening.

"You alright?"

"No, no not again. I can't do this again."

"What? Loki, no, what's happening again?"

"Th-the voices, I remember. He is here, he is a part of me."

This time it was Tony's turn to be flooded with panic. It was happening again and he could do nothing to stop it. He could already feel Loki slipping away from him. Second after second, a little bit more fell away.

"Loki, Loki, listen to me. You have to calm down, we can get you help...everything will be okay."

"No no no," Loki moaned. "You can't help me. I-I have to go, I have to get away from here."

He got to his feet and made to run but didn't know where to go. There was nowhere to go. Tony hurried forward and put his hands out in front of him, effectively blocking Loki's path if he tried to go anywhere.

"You know you can't run. I'm inside your head. Wherever you go, I follow."

"Leave me alone!"

"No."

"Loki I can't leave you alone. I'm too worried about you," Tony said, thinking the god's words were aimed at him.

"Please, please, I beg you to leave me alone," Loki cried.

"But, I can't," Tony whispered.

"See you're wrecking everything without me."

"Shut up, SHUT UP!"

Though he would never say it now or in the future but his heart was breaking. It was shattering into tiny pieces that he believed could never be patched back together. Seeing Loki like this, so scared and vulnerable, so unlike himself, it was too much. Tony believed he was the only one that could fix his heart but right now that seemed impossible.

Loki was so confused. His head as swimming and it ached so much. All he could hear was Thanos, his words echoing around his brain. His vision was fuzzy and he only caught faint images of Tony looking desperate and mouthing words that he could not comprehend. The world felt like it was collapsing around him.

Some minutes passed and the silenced that had formed grew. Loki's mind began to clear and he could see properly again and his hearing came back, allowing him to listen to everything Tony was saying.

"Loki, Loki, listen to me."

"I'm listening to you," He replied, meeting Tony's eyes with his own.

"Well thank fucking god for that, it felt like I was talking to a brick wall. What the hell happened?"

"I, err...I have to go."

"What?"

"I have to leave."

To prove he was being serious, he walked towards the lift even though he could just teleport out using his magic.

"But, Loki, you can't. There's something wrong with you-"

"Don't you think I know that?" Loki shouted, rounding on Tony. The genius flinched slightly at his tone and it made Loki's face and voice soften. "I'm sorry I can't say more but you have to trust me, do you trust me?"

"I...Yes, yes of course I trust you."

"Then please don't try to stop me."

Tony followed him to the door of the lift that slid open a few seconds later.

He took a breath then asked, "Where are you going?"

"I don't know."

"Don't you trust me?" Tony asked quietly.

"I trust you Anthony but I am telling the truth, I don't know where I'm going, I don't even know what I'm doing. I have no idea what to do."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"Because I must, it is the best option."

"For who, you? Because I know it's the fucking worst option for me. I will go crazy without you, I'll always be worrying, always be trying to find you."

"Trust me, I will be fine."

"Whatever," He muttered.

Loki looked at him pleadingly but he stared resolutely at the hardwood floor, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Please don't make this harder than it is."

"Make it harder! Fuck, you're the one going by choice. You don't give a fuck and yet you're telling me not to make it harder. Look if you're going just go."

"Anthony please-"

"No Loki, just go, go on get out," Tony shouted, pointing at the lift that was still waiting for someone to enter it.

The god opened his mouth to protest but closed it when he saw Tony's expression. It screamed hate and anger that was really a cover for the hurt and sadness that he was feeling. Not being able to look at him a second longer, Loki turned around and entered the lift. The doors slid shut immediately and he disappeared from view.

Just as they shut he turned around and opened his mouth to say something but it was too late. The lift was moving, leaving Tony behind on the top floor.

"I love you," He whispered, staring down at the ground.

If only he had said it while he had had the chance. He didn't think he would ever have that chance again.

The lift stopped in the foyer. He stepped out and walked briskly out into the open air of Manhattan, leaving behind the only life that he had ever wished to keep.

When he was at a safe distance from the tower, he turned down a side alley that no one seemed interested in. He closed his eyes and began to form the magic that would allow him to teleport. Just as he began to vanish he felt a familiar presence. Then he caught the faint whiff that could only mean one thing. In seconds the whiff became a stench and it was already too late. He felt himself being dragged away from his destination, instead flying towards an unknown location.

The Chitauri had found him at last, just like Thanos had promised.

I'm sorry! Please review?! :)