Chapter Ten—Part 2

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul

Invictus (stanza 3 & 4) by William Ernest Henley

Luke thanks Mrs. Marstrap for dropping him off at home and says goodbye to Windy. He runs into the house and into his bedroom to change into his work tunic. He is supposed to help dad with the pallies again today. Maybe if they work fast they can spar this evening. They have not had much time to train lately with the harvest needing to be put in storage. He hopes they will at least meditate tonight before bed as that always makes him feel calmer and he has had a bad day.

Luke is annoyed because Camie has beaten him on a test again this week. They have somehow managed to be in the same class every year since Luke has started school. He had hoped this year she would be in another class but he had no such luck. He knows that without Camie he would be undisputed as the best student in the class. He knows better than to complain to his dad about it, though.

The last time he had done so his dad had laughed and told him it was good for him to have someone to compete against and that he probably would not try as hard otherwise. Luke thinks his dad is probably right, he usually is. But Camie is so annoying every time she wins. Luke is certain he is not half as bad at gloating as she is. And that hadn't even been the worst part of his day.

Luke has been recently researching everything he could find on the HoloNet about the Jedi after he could learn nothing more about his mother. Today he learned that Jedi didn't get married. This probably explains why he couldn't find anything about Padmé Amidala being married. It must have been a secret, like in that story he had to read for school where the boy and girl had run away to get married because their parents hated each other.

But it doesn't answer the question he has been wondering about for a long time.

Luke makes his way to the new hydrostation the militia had help rebuild a few months ago. He sees his dad kneeling in the middle of a row of pallie plants looking grim.

"Dad, are you alright?" he asks as he runs up to him.

His dad smiles and he reaches out to ruffle Luke's hair. "Yes, youngling. I was just feeling old all of the sudden."

"But Dad, you are old," Luke points out, grinning. He is rewarded by a playful smack to the back of his head.

"And you should be polite your elders!" His dad laughs. "How was your day?"

"Camie beat me again." Luke scowls. "And she wouldn't shut up about it all day!" His dad laughs again.

They are silent as they begin picking, Luke stopping once in a while to eat one of the juicy, sweet fruits.

"You are quiet today, youngling. What are you thinking about?" his dad asks.

Luke feels himself flush. He is bad at hiding things from Dad and is grateful that he never presses him if he doesn't wasn't to talk about something. But Luke does want to talk about this, he just isn't sure how. He hesitates for a moment before tentatively asking something that has been bothering him for a while.

"Dad, who was Vader and why did he kill Mom?"

Luke feels a wave of shock and guilt from their bond in the several heartbeats it takes before his dad realizes that he is broadcasting.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he hastens to add. He knows his dad hates talking about Mom which is why he hasn't asked before now.

His dad is silent for a long moment and Luke wishes he hadn't said anything.

"Vader was my apprentice," he says softly. Luke cannot prevent himself from gasping but from the faraway look in his dad's eyes he doesn't think he noticed.

"I failed him…I should have seen…" His dad sighs. "He killed your mother because he was jealous."

Understanding floods Luke. "Did he love Mom too?" he asks quietly.

"Yes." His dad closes his eyes. "I should have seen it. I do not know why I did not… it was so obvious… He thought I had turned her against him." His dad laughs but it does not sound happy. "He turned her against him by himself. Anakin—that was Vader's real name—he was my best friend, my brother…and he betrayed us all…"

To Luke's horror, he sees there are tears in his dad's eyes. Without thinking, he gets up and hugs him, trying to push all the love he feels for him though the bond.

"Thank you, youngling," his dad says, voice rough, holding him tightly.

And Luke swears to himself that someday he is going to kill Vader for what he did to his mom and dad.