Hey guys sorry for the frustration from the last chapter. I was gonna put this chapter with the last one but I feel like this should be a stand alone... And Don't get too mad I do have a plan on what is going to happen.
And to Answer Tomb Raider's question, I was trying to keep it true to the time when Olivia and Alex met and that would be roughly 2001 era :-)
Olivia and Alex arrived at Alex's place after the movie. Olivia didn't like the cold shoulder she was getting from Alex since they ran into Petrovsky. Alex sat down on her couch resting her back on the arm rest. Olivia sat down next to her with two glasses of water. Alex examined Olivia.
"You never told me that Petrovsky is your aunt." Olivia tried to figure out what bothering Alex.
Alex chuckled, "Well she isn't really my aunt, she married my father's childhood friend." Alex quickly explained. "That's why she is always tough on me in court. She wants to make an example out of me." She grabbed Olivia's hand.
"That's nice." Olivia watched their hands intertwine. Her thumb brushed Alex's outer palm. "So," Olivia didn't know how to questioned her girlfriend who was holding back her emotions. "What did she say to rattle you?"
"Nothing." She blushed as she pulled her hand back.
"You know you are really bad at lying." Olivia stated not enjoying Alex not being forthcoming. "What's wrong?"
Alex stood up and started to pace, "She… she saw me kiss you at the theater."
"Oh," Olivia sat up straight to listening Alex's worries. "Do you think she is gonna tell?"
Alex couldn't stop pacing, "No, even if she wanted to tell, Bill wouldn't be pleased." Alex knew that she had a special place in her uncle's heart.
"Then what's wrong?"
"Because I didn't think." Alex didn't like doing, without having a plan, "I wasn't thinking that it was okay to go on a casual date with you. I let my emotions get the best of me causing me not to think before I kissed you."
Olivia wasn't liking Alex critical mind speak about herself. She stood up to stop the pacing. "You are allowed to have blank out days. It's called being human."
"Yes, but me not thinking we could have caught by someone else." She repeated Lena.
Olivia placed her hands on Alex's arms, "Maybe, we should finally disclose to Cragen and Donnelly." Olivia stated knowing she has been ready to go public for a while.
Alex's ears perked up with Olivia saying that statement. Alex has been craving to be open with Olivia, and tired of being in the closet with her. She wants everyday to feel like Boston. "I want to." Alex stopped herself.
Olivia was shocked with the lack of response, "But?"
"We both don't want leave Special Victims." She responded.
Olivia knew Alex was right, she loves Special victims and was meant to do it, "I will put in my papers tomorrow." She cleared her throat to say that.
Alex's heart broke as her eyes met Olivia's eyes. "I can't ask that of you. You love that unit and your partnership with Elliot is an amazing bond." Alex handing the facts Olivia already knows.
"I can handle a change." Olivia laughed off the offer holding Alex's hands.
"Olivia." Alex sighed out, "I don't want you transfer out of that unit. That is your home."
Olivia was relieved that Alex wasn't wanting to see leave the unit. "So… what are you wanting to do?" Olivia questioned not liking the pressure they are putting on each other.
"I suppose appeals won't be that bad."
Olivia didn't like the sound of her career motivated girlfriend taking a step back. "Alex you can't do that." She responded the same way Alex did.
Alex wasn't happy with their options, "Says who?"
Olivia smirked with Alex defense, "Says you, says the woman who said she wants to be DA during our first brunch." Alex took a step back from Olivia to have her hands cover her face. "We can just continue to behind closed doors." Olivia hated that idea.
Alex hated being in the closet with Olivia. She has found someone that is her equal in everything. She wants everyone to know she found her perfect match, "No, I don't want to continue being with you as a secret, where only two people in my life know about you."
Olivia was slightly floored with Alex's response. "Alex we can't have it both ways. We have to chose something."
Alex fought back the tears from the thought that crossed her mind. "I don't want to see you anymore." Alex removed her hands to look at Olivia, as the thought came out of her mouth.
"Excuse me?" Olivia's heart and jaw dropped.
Alex couldn't believe what she just told her lover and bestfriend. "We shouldn't be holding each other back." She was accepting her statement. "To think we could have this almighty secret relationship was a mistake."
Liv watched Alex start to shake from her words. She looked into the watery blue eyes. "You're joking right?" Olivia was filled with many different emotions towards Alex. She wasn't gonna cry for Alex if it is true.
Alex could see the moment she broke up with Trevor. "No." This moment was hurting a lot harder the Trevor break up. She looked down at the ground. She took all of her power to tell Olivia "My career will always be first." Alex tried to hold Olivia's hands. But Liv wouldn't let Alex touch her, "And I care about you too much for change yours." She returned her eyes to Liv.
"It's not your choice to make."
"You're right but I don't want you holding that against me when you don't like it." Alex truthfully stated.
Olivia shaking her head not knowing what to say, with the abrupt change of heart. "I know you don't mean that," Olivia took a deep breath in and out, "But if you think this is the best choice for us you are lying to me and you."
"Liv," Alex softly uttered.
"No you don't get to call me that." Olivia cut Alex off. Olivia wasn't going fight for Alex since she suddenly wanted out of their relationship after being a scared. She wasn't call her any names or tell her to go to hell. "Have a good life. I hope getting to the top is worth it." Olivia walked out of the apartment.
Alex was screaming on the inside not knowing what she did. She watched the love of her life walk out of her life. She was paralysed as she wanted to take back everything she just said. She wanted to stop Olivia from leaving. Once Olivia shut the door, Alex covered her mouth. She fell with her heart and stomach. Tears finally streamed down her face.
Olivia rested her head on Alex's door. She deeply exhaled needing a moment to compose herself. She wiped the tear that escaped on to her cheek. Her heart broke even more from Alex's sobs coming inside.
Thanks for your views, Thoughts are always welcomed. trust me I do have a plan.