Chapter Twelve—Part 2
A father sees his son nearing manhood.
What shall he tell that son?
'Life is hard; be steel; be a rock.'
And this might stand him for the storms
and serve him for humdrum monotony
and guide him among sudden betrayals
and tighten him for slack moments.
'Life is a soft loam; be gentle; go easy.'
And this too might serve him.
Brutes have been gentled where lashes failed.
The growth of a frail flower in a path up
has sometimes shattered and split a rock.
A tough will counts. So does desire.
A Father To His Son (Lines 1-13) by Carl Sandburg
Obi-Wan sees Luke sitting on a chair in the waiting room of the school administration office and releases his anger into the Force. He has just spent over an hour meeting with several teachers and administrators about Luke's actions at lunch this afternoon. He supposes he ought to be grateful that it was not worse. Anakin had gotten into worse scrapes at Luke's age. For that matter, so had Obi-Wan.
Somehow, knowing this did not make it any easier.
Resisting the urge to chastise the boy right here, Obi-Wan gestures to him with a hand. Luke follows him out into the afternoon heat, dragging his feet slightly. They walk out to the landspeeder in silence, shame, guilt and anger radiating from Luke. The boy masters himself and, realizing that he is broadcasting, closes their bond tight. Despite himself, Obi-Wan is impressed by this display of control.
As he starts the landspeeder, Obi-Wan sighs. "I am disappointed in you," he says quietly.
In the seat next to him, Luke ducks his head.
"What do you have to say for yourself?" he demands after several minutes of silence.
"Laze took my datapad," Luke mutters, looking at the dun colored buildings that comprise the town of Anchorhead.
"So you broke his collar bone," Obi-Wan replies evenly, not allowing the exasperation he feels to creep into his voice.
"He deserved it," Luke retorts with quiet vehemence, still looking at everything but his father.
"He probably did," Obi-Wan agrees. "From what you have told me about Laze, the young man sounds like a bully who enjoys tormenting those he perceives as too weak to fight back."
Luke looks at him, frowning. "Then why are you angry? You said that the best way to defeat a bully is to stand up to them because most bullies are cowards."
"That is true. But do you think what you did constitutes standing up to a bully? You attacked someone you knew was weaker than yourself when he had offered you no violence."
Luke's shoulders slump and he turns to stare at the mounds of sand racing past them as they head toward the farm.
After a few moments, Obi-Wan sighs. "Youngling, do you understand why I am upset with you?"
""Cause I hurt Laze," the boy mumbles, not meeting his eyes.
"Look at me, youngling" Obi-Wan says, waiting until Luke does so before continuing. "I am upset with you because you did not think. It might have been necessary to hurt Laze if he had attacked you. That would be justifiable self-defense and would have taught him as lesson as well. Yet you struck first."
"But you've said that it's okay to strike first sometimes!" Luke protests heatedly.
Obi-Wan is painfully remained of Anakin and replies more sharply than he intended.
"And was it one of those times? Were you, your friends, or any other innocent in danger?
When you attacked him, was your goal to protect yourself and others or did you want to punish Laze for taking your things?"
There is a tense moment in which the Force swirls with Luke's anger but it dissipates suddenly, replaced by guilt.
"I wanted to punish him," the boy admits. "Not just because of the datapad but for all the stuff he's done to me since I've started school."
"I understand, youngling, more than you realize," Memories swam before his mind's eye, images of Bruck Chun, the boy that had tormented him in his own youth; Obi-Wan sighs, placing a hand on Luke's shoulder. "But you let Laze goad you into losing control. You were fortunate that your opponent was weaker that you this time but that will not always be the case. It is how you choose to act, especially when you are angry, that determines the kind of person you are. There is a reason one of the three pillars of the Jedi is self-discipline."
"I'll do better next time, I promise," Luke declares earnestly.
Obi-Wan nods. "I shall hold you to that, young one. You have been suspended from school for the week and I have decided that you are going to spend it in your room meditating. No reading, no saber practice and absolutely no tinkering with the droids."
"For the whole week!" Luke exclaims. "I'll die of boredom."
Obi-Wan snorts. "Yes, for the whole week. Maybe this will help teach you to think before you act.
Luke groans but does not protest his punishment.
"Padawan," Obi-Wan says seriously. "One of my biggest failures was that I was unable to instill in Anakin the need for self-control or teach him that his actions mattered more than his feelings. I will not make the same mistake with you."
Luke nods, looking grave.
"I'm not like him, am I?" the boy asks in a small voice.
"In some ways you are," Obi-wan answers honestly. "Yet in the ways that matter most you are not.
"You won't let me become like Vader?" Luke's question sounds more like plea.
"I wish it were that simple, young one," he sighs. "Everyone must battle the part of themselves that is selfish, Jedi even more so. Even good desires can lead to evil if we are not careful. I will do all that I can to prevent you from falling to the Dark Side."
Obi-wan looks at Luke, at his worried blue eyes, lightly freckled cheeks and the drops of sweat on his brow from the heat of the suns.
"But you need to understand youngling, in the end the choice lies with you alone."