A/N: So I know you guys keep asking for longer chapters, just bear with me. I write in spurts. This chapter was originally very different and much longer, however due to technical difficulties it was deleted. Anyway, I hope you like it. I will make my best effort to write longer chapters. It's just a pain in the ass on my phone. I'm considering a point of view shift soon to Selena. Let know what you guys think. If you prefer Demi's pov I will keep it that way. Enjoy.

We stayed that way for what seemed like hours. We didn't say anything she just cried and I held her. Eventually I felt her body relax and her breathing even out. I cradled her in my arms and carried her upstairs to what used to be our bedroom. I almost gasped when I walked through the door. It was exactly the same as it had been the last time I stayed here. That was over two years ago. My leather jacket was still hanging on the bedpost. My book was still sitting on my nightstand with my Chapstick shoved in it marking the page. There was a pile of money that I had taken out of my pants pocket scattered across the surface as well. As I looked around I noticed everything was still there. A guitar I had been searching for, for a very long time leaned aginst the wall closest to my nightstand. She didn't pack any of it up. It was as if I never left.

I carry her over to the bed and gently placed her on its soft surface. I pulled the covers up over her and before I pulled away, I felt her soft touch on my forearm.

"Stay." She whispered.

"Sel...I don't..."

"Demi, I want you to stay." She interrupted.

I've never been able to tell her no, so against my better judgment, I kicked off my boots and climbed in bed with her. She pulled my arm over her body and pressed herself against me. I felt her sigh as she intertwined our fingers and brought them to her lips. I felt her place soft kisses on my knuckles. I could barely breath. I nuzzled my face into her neck. Her hair smelled so fucking good. I almost forgot how much I missed this.

Once I was sure she was in a deep sleep, I carefully removed my arm from underneath her and slipped out of bed. I paced around the room trying to calm my nerves. I was so confused. She went from trying to kill me to snuggling in a matter of five minutes. It was crazy. Selena was always so poised and collected. This was reckless. I was dangerous for her and she knew better. I'm like a drug to her. Drugs cause you to make bad descisions. I have slowly been coming to terms with the fact that I may not be what's best for her. I could handle not being with her, I've been dealing with it for a while now, I just don't know if I can be without her in my life. She was my light.

I walked over to closet and looked inside. Every single article of my clothing was still there. I noticed a few empty hangars in the t-shirt section. I found it odd, since I didn't take any of my clothes with me. I literally left everything but my guitars. None of this made sense to me. My eyes began to feel heavy. I made my way back over to the bed and climbed under the covers. I felt her move closer to me so I pulled into her my arms and rested my chin on the top of her head.

As I laid in our bed, I wondered what was going to happen next. I knew that we were on a slippery slope. I didn't want her to wake up and regret this. To be honest I won't be surprised if that's what happens. I broke her heart. I was careless and it destroyed her. I spent so much time feeling sorry for myself that I never stopped to think what this was doing to her. She gave me the best of her. She gave me her heart and I crushed it. I was so angry with myself. She should hate me. I want her to hate me. The fact that she is still in love with me is something that I will never be worthy of. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be laying here with her. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for the chance to be around her, I just know that what we are doing isn't right. She's hurting and I'm taking advantage of her. I feel terrible. I feel my eyelids beginning to get heavy. The last thing I remember thinking before drifting off to sleep is I hope she knows that I still love her...so much.

I woke right before the sun started to peek over the horizon. I carefully untangled myself from Selena, and grabbed my phone. Shit. I needed to go. I didn't want to be here when Stella woke up. It would be way to confusing for her and right now I know that we are not equipped to deal with it. I'm not even sure what exactly "it" is. For the first time in my life I can honestly say that Selena's motives and actions are a complete mystery to me.

I pulled on my boots and headed toward the bedroom door. I turned around and looked at her sleeping form. I didn't know if I would get the chance to see her like this again. I closed my eyes and committed the picture to memory before I left the house that we once shared. I climbed in my truck and pulled away. While I was waiting for the security gate to open, I sent her a text.

Hey. I left so Stella wouldn't see me there. I don't want her to be confused. Text me.

As I pulled out the gate I noticed several parked cars across the street. Sometimes I fucking hate being famous. I made a fist and raised the only finger that mattered as the flashbulbs went off. Fucking pricks.

I was a mess when I got home. My mind was racing. After about ten minutes of staring blankly at my living room wall, I decided to go for a run. I needed the fresh air. As I ran I could stop thinking about her. I remember the way she used to hold my hand. The way she would sigh when I kissed her just right. The way she used to wake me up at night just to say I love you. Why was I so stupid? Why did I throw it all away for a meaningless sexual encounter or two. Why? She was everything that was good about me. She was my one chance to have something special. I ruined it. I started to run faster. I wanted to feel the burn. I wanted to feel pain. I ran until I couldn't breathe. As I stood there panting, my hands on my knees, sweat dripping down my brow, I realized that I would never be able to right the wrongs of my past. Once I caught my breath, I turned around and began the slow jog back to my empty apartment.

I immediately checked my phone upon my return and sure enough I had a new text from Selena.

Do you want to take Stella for the weekend?

Yeah. That would be great. I need to fix up the guest room. I got plenty of time though.

Ok. I'll tell her you said yes.

Sel, are you ok?

Yes. I know last night was hard for you.

And just like that she knew what I was feeling. She knew I was struggling with everything that was happening just as much as she is. I was consumed with guilt. I wish I knew what she was thinking. I wish I knew what she was feeling. Everything was so confusing right now. I decided to take a shower and make some brunch. Once I finished eating I went into my spare room and packed up all the junk that was lying around. I had one week to make this room acceptable. Once I got the room cleaned out, I decided to spend the rest of the day lost in music.

I woke up that evening to the sound of my phone ringing. I grabbed it and answered without checking who it was.

"Hello." My voice was raspy from sleep.

"Demi? I immediately recognized Selena's voice.

"Yeah. Sorry I sound so shitty I fell asleep on the couch. What's up?" I asked.

"I...can't do this..." She choked out as she held back a sob.

"I know baby. It's ok." I whispered.

"I'm so lost Demi. I just don't know..." She was crying.

"I'm sorry." She whispered before hanging up the phone.

It took me a minute to process what had just happened. I knew that being that close to her last night was going to fuck her up. I closed my eyes and for the first time in a long time I prayed. I prayed she would find the strength to forgive me or the strength to walk away for good. Lord knows I can't.