Frodo sighed as he watched his uncle and the dwarves walk out of the room. He knew that it was wrong but he couldn't help but feel relieved that they were going to go and bother someone else for a while. He had the strangest suspicion that they were doing things for the sole purpose of offending him and seeing what reaction he would give. He knew that thought was preposterous. The dwarves wouldn't do something like that. They were just dwarves being dwarves, there was no malicious intent to their actions. It was just the way they were. Even so, he was glad that he was going to have a dwarf-free afternoon.
He started the dishes at a leisurely pace, wondering why his uncle had seemed so reluctant to let the dwarves wash them. Surely the dwarves, warriors though they were, were capable of washing dishes. He had seen the beautiful things that they made and the intricate details they worked into metal. Any hands that could manage that could easily handle washing dishes without breaking them. As he thought more about it, he realized that he had never seen a visiting dwarf do the dishes and that if they had ever offered his uncle had blustered about before either washing them himself or having Frodo do it. He wondered what had happened that made his uncle so reluctant to let the dwarves wash dishes. Knowing that it may be a story he didn't want to hear, but unable to curb his natural curiosity, Frodo decided that he would ask them about it that evening since he knew his uncle would never tell him.
He had only just finished the dishes and done a little light cleaning before settling down to read in the window seat overlooking the garden when he heard the door to Bag End bang open and heard Bilbo's voice. He closed his book with a sigh. He had thought that it would take longer for them to return, but now that they had, he knew that there would not be any peace and quiet to be had for a while. Especially since, from the sound of it, his uncle was in a right rage at the moment.
"—never been so embarrassed in my entire life!" Bilbo was saying. "I can't believe you did that!"
"It wasn't that bad," Bofur argued. "We just—"
"Not that bad!?" Bilbo shrieked. "Not that bad? Then what would you consider bad, Bofur? The entire Shire was in that market! How could you—"
"Now, Bilbo," Balin interrupted his voice soothing as he tried to make the hobbit see reason. "It wasn't the entire Shire. Maybe half."
"Half is still enough!" Bilbo snapped turning to face Balin. "The rest of the Shire will know what happened before nightfall!"
"It won't be us they will be talking about," Dwalin said with a smirk looking between Thorin and Bilbo. They may not have heard the whispers that followed them, but Dwalin had. He knew that the lewd conversations of the dwarves paled in comparison to the intrigue of Bilbo and Thorin's interactions and the speculations they had given rise to.
"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Bilbo demanded glaring up at Dwalin once more. Thorin sighed and edged his way around the irate hobbit on his way to the pantry to put up the groceries he was carrying. He figured that they could talk about it without his supervision for a few minutes at any rate. They could probably avoid coming to blows for that long.
"What happened at the market?" Frodo asked Thorin in an undertone as the dwarf passed him. The dwarf only shook his head and sighed deeply before he gestured for the hobbit to follow him. Frodo realized that it wasn't a "no" but rather a "not here" and set his book down before he followed the ex-king into the pantry and helped him to put away the groceries.
"So," Frodo repeated, "what happened?"
"It turns out that they only wanted to come with us to scandalize the locals," Thorin said amusement and irritation warring for dominance in his expression. Even if he didn't approve of their goal to traumatize the hobbits, he was glad to see that some things never change no matter how much time passed. They had tried to scandalize Bilbo all the way to Erebor and it made him smile to hear their familiar interactions, though it hurt him as well. Fíli and Kíli had been the chief instigators in harassing Bilbo, and the behavior of the others only served to highlight their absence for Thorin.
"And?" Frodo prompted knowing what the outcome of that venture had been both from what he knew of hobbits and dwarves and from the rant Bilbo was currently having in the entry.
"They succeeded," Thorin replied with a shrug, his tone dry. He tried to push his sorrow back. No amount of regret would bring them back and he knew that his nephews would not want him to linger on their deaths and forget to live the second chance he had been blessed with. Frodo nodded. He had suspected as much.
"And Bilbo brought you all straight home to yell at them," Frodo said with a soft smile. He had been brought straight home before . . . though he had been smaller and he doubted that it would end the same way for the dwarves as it had for him.
"No," Thorin replied. "We finished shopping." Frodo looked up at the dwarf in confusion. Bilbo had let them stay in the market after what they had done? Even though he wasn't entirely sure what they had done, it had clearly been bad for Bilbo to be yelling at them now. In all the times they had visited Bilbo had never yelled at them, no matter what they got up to. It made no sense that he would have let them stay in the market if they did something vile enough to invoke the old hobbit's wrath.
"They apologized to the hobbits and we went about our business," Thorin explained seeing the confusion on Frodo's face.
"But you came back so quickly," Frodo said his voice still showing confusion. "Going to market usually takes twice as long, even though Uncle rarely lingers. What else happened?" Thorin never got a chance to tell Frodo what else had happened at the market for in that moment there was what was unmistakably a battle cry from the direction of the living room followed by the sound of a scuffle. Before Frodo could ask what had happened, Thorin had disappeared back down the hall. Confusion on his face once more, Frodo followed after the dwarf at a more leisurely pace.
Thorin grabbed the post of the door in the kitchen to help him make the corner wishing for the first time since he was back that he had a sword. The Valar had neglected to give him a weapon when they resurrected him. It hadn't bothered him until now. He had recognized the cry as Bilbo's voice and wondered what could have come through the door that would cause the hobbit to make such a noise. Was it orcs? Goblins? And army of angry hobbits? He could still hear a struggle going on so he knew that the conflict was not yet resolved. He steeled himself for the worst and was prepared to fight hand-to-hand if that was what it took.
However, nothing could have prepared him for the sight that awaited him. Dwalin was against the wall of the entry with his hand over his nose and his eyes wide with shock while Balin and Bofur were both attempting to restrain the hobbit from attacking him again, with little luck. Thorin's sharp eyes took in the situation and realized that he had been mistaken . . . they had needed supervision.
"What happened here?" Thorin demanded his tone harsh as he tried to shock them into stillness. He failed. Bilbo still continued to struggle against the two dwarves that were not currently bleeding against the wall.
"Nothing!" Bofur called grunting as Bilbo elbowed him in the gut in his attempt to get free. "I swear it!"
"Something must have happened," Thorin replied attempting to keep his tone aloof even though he was confused once more. This behavior was nothing like the Bilbo he remembered and he wondered what else had happened in the sixty years he had been gone.
"Nothing enough to merit this!" Balin snapped trying to ignore Bilbo's fingers digging into his arm. He hadn't realized the hobbit was this strong. It should have been no problem for the two of them to restrain him and he was almost too much for them, his rage lending him strength.
"IT WAS ENOUGH TO MERIT MUCH MORE THAN THIS!" Bilbo yelled his voice shrill and his eyes wild as he redoubled his efforts to get free of the restraining hands.
"IT WAS NOT!" Dwalin roared as he recovered himself and stood before moving towards the fuming hobbit. He was leaning over Bilbo and glaring down at him. "I SAID NOTHING TO MERIT YOU HITTING ME!" Bilbo didn't cower or show any sign that the larger dwarf intimidated him in the least. He just continued to stare into Dwalin's eyes with his jaw set and his own eyes hard.
"YOU VERY WELL DID!" Bilbo yelled trying desperately to climb over Balin who had courageously thrown himself between the two yelling males.
"ENOUGH!" Thorin roared cutting off Dwalin's reply. "I've had enough of this! The two of you need to calm down and someone needs to tell me what happened." When no one spoke Thorin sighed.
"Dwalin, what did you say?" Thorin asked trying to distract the angered warrior before he decided that it was worth it to go through his brother to get his revenge. The dwarf in question glared at him and gestured wildly at Bilbo as he swore rather impressively in Khuzdul and refused to say any more.
"Bilbo," Thorin tried hoping that one of them would tell him what had happened, "what did he say that offended you?"
"That . . . that," seeming to find no word in the common tongue to describe Dwalin at the moment used a word in a language that Thorin had never heard but must have been a vulgarity because it caused Frodo to squeak and say "Uncle Bilbo, must you use such language!" which Bilbo ignored and continued speaking.
"I would leave off insulting him if I were you, Bilbo," Balin offered as he heard Dwalin growl behind him. Even without Frodo's words the tone had obviously been one of insult and Dwalin had taken it as such even if he hadn't know exactly what it was that Bilbo had called him.
"Yes," Thorin agreed. "That is enough profanity from the both of you. Tell me what happened, without the expletives, if you do not mind."
"He made some rather lewd suggestions as to what should transpire between you and me this evening," Bilbo spat continuing to glare at Dwalin. Apparently he had decided that if he couldn't swear he would be annoyingly polite.
"All I said was that perhaps Bilbo's temper would benefit from a good roll in the hay," Dwalin said looking accusingly at Thorin as though it was his fault that the hobbit was in a foul mood and had taken it out on Dwalin rather than on Thorin.
"Which was uncalled for!" Bilbo snapped. "Hobbits DO NOT discuss these things even among friends!"
"I'M NOT A HOBBIT!" Dwalin yelled shoving Balin out of the way and bending down so that he could get in Bilbo's face. "MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSE ARE NOT HOBBITS! WE'RE DWARVES! AND DWARVES DO DISCUSS THESE THINGS! EVEN IF YOU DO NOT!"
"WELL I'M NOT A DWARF!" Bilbo yelled in reply. "Forgive me for forgetting that you lot have no manners."
"No manners!?" Dwalin demanded grabbing the hobbit by the shoulders and giving him a firm shake. "I'm not the one that assaulted a friend and guest in the middle of my home for a joke! No, it is you who have no manners."
"Me!" Bilbo demanded knocking Dwalin's hands away from him and puffing up once more. "I have manners! I'm not the one who—"
"ENOUGH!" Thorin called again stepping between them once again knowing that the brawl that he had feared in the market was about to happen here if he couldn't get them to stop soon. "Dwalin, go help the others to put up the remaining groceries. Bilbo . . ." he paused a moment before he decided that keeping the hobbit in one piece was worth the risk of angering him. "You come with me," he finished firmly.
"NOW!" he roared when it seemed like neither of them was going to do as he had said. Dwalin brushed past him with a glower still on his face.
"You'd better talk some sense into him," he muttered to Thorin in Khuzdul as he passed. Thorin nodded, grateful that the other dwarf was willing to give him the chance to do so. He would have hated to come to blows with his old friend over something as small as a crude joke but he would have done so had it have been necessary to protect Bilbo from the consequences of his own rash behavior.
"What did he say!?" Bilbo demanded pulling against the restraining hand Thorin had placed on his shoulder.
"Never you mind," Thorin replied before placing a second hand on the hobbit and trying to steer him out of the room. "Now, come with me."
"I will not take a single step until you tell me what he said, Thorin Oakenshield," Bilbo replied glaring up at the dwarf king with his hands on his hips.
"Fine," Thorin replied rising to the challenge before he bent and lifted the angry hobbit, tossing Bilbo over his shoulder like a sack of grain before walking out the front door with Bilbo yelling at him to put him down. He walked for some time until he found a secluded spot in the woods were they could talk. Only once they were there did he set Bilbo on his feet.
"That was a most undignified way for you to get me here," Bilbo snorted straightening his clothes and looking up at the dwarf angrily through his hair.
"I had to do something," Thorin replied trying to keep his tone light when all he wanted to do was grab Bilbo and demand that he tell him what was going on that made him so angry so easily. "Dwalin would have broken you in half had the two of you continued."
"He could have tried," Bilbo replied darkly. The strange light that Thorin had noticed earlier was back and Bilbo had an almost feral look on his face.
"He would have succeeded," Thorin deadpanned. "He's twice your size."
"Perhaps," Bilbo replied with a dark smile that Thorin did not like in the least.
"What is wrong with you?" Thorin finally asked. He knew that it was probably not wise, with how tentative things were between Bilbo and himself, but he felt that it had to be said.
"What do you mean?" Bilbo snapped. "He was the one who—"
"That is not what I am talking about," Thorin snapped cutting off the hobbit knowing that he was going to bring up what Dwalin had said. "I don't care about your fights with Dwalin. Not really. What I care about is you. This is not like you. Since when do you start fist fights over anything, let alone a crude comment? What happened to the hobbit that wanted to talk his way out of a battle and negotiate rather than fight?"
"And look how that turned out!" Bilbo snapped stepping towards Thorin with wild eyes. "I tried to negotiate with our "enemies" and in the process made my lover into a more dangerous enemy than they were! Of course I changed tactics after that failure."
"Is that what this is about?" Thorin asked with a bitter laugh. The damned Arkenstone again. "You're still mad about that? Did my apology truly mean nothing to you?"
"No, Thorin," Bilbo snapped. "That is not what this is about. This is about the sixty years that I spent alone and all the plans that I made in that time that I am expected to drop just because you ask it of me. And this is about the fact that decisions are being made about me without my consent once again! And about the fact that your kin are rude and have no regard for my customs." He paused, panting slightly from his anger and glared into the hurt face of his ex-lover.
"Are you done?" Thorin asked, his voice hard and his eyes abnormally bright. Bilbo nodded tersely and Thorin took a deep breath to compose himself before he spoke. He would be damned if he allowed Bilbo Baggins to see him weep over rejection.
"If I had known the hardships my return would cause you I would never have undertaken this venture," Thorin said feeling as though there were a boulder in his throat trying to block the passage of the words but he forced them out anyway. "I had assumed that you would be glad to see me. I'm sorry that I was mistaken. If you wish it, me and my rude kin will be gone before dusk tonight and will never trouble you again. Say the word and it will be done. We will leave and never darken your doorway again. Is that what you wish?"
At his words, so softly spoken that they might have been imagined but so full of hurt that Bilbo knew that he could not have imagined them, Bilbo felt the unnatural anger that had filled his veins fade leaving him feeling weak. He sank to his knees with his head in his hands.
"What have I done?" he sobbed. "I don't know what come over me? How could I have struck him? It really wasn't that bad, what he said. I don't understand it. I just felt so angry." At the broken sobs coming from the kneeling hobbit Thorin reached out a hand to touch him before withdrawing it and balling it into a fist at his side. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on either, and wasn't sure Bilbo wanted to be touched or if he wanted to touch him.
"And you," Bilbo continued looking up at Thorin with eyes that were filled with tears rather than anger or that fey light. "I'm so sorry that I made you think I was not pleased to see you. I have missed you so much. What are a few ruined plans in the face of your return? I don't know why I was so preoccupied with the fact that things have changed that I forgot to be happy for why they had to. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Of course I can," Thorin said kneeling down next to the hobbit and drawing him into an embrace. "If you can forgive me for trying to kill you I think it is only fair that I forgive you for hurting my feelings. Just promise me one thing."
"Name it," Bilbo breathed glad that he had been forgiven for his unnecessary outburst. He would do anything Thorin asked of him if it meant that he would not leave. He wasn't sure why he was so desperate to keep the dwarf by his side when he had survived without him for so long, but he knew that he needed him there.
"No matter how angry you get with him please do not punch Dwalin in the face again," Thorin said smiling gently down at the hobbit in his arms. "I would hate for the Valar to have gone to all this trouble to reunite us only to lose you to your own foolishness. Or for me to have to avenge some hurt caused to you by one of my oldest friends." Thorin felt Bilbo shudder slightly as he realized exactly what might have happened as a result of his actions. He had seen Dwalin in battle and knew that he had made what could very well have been a fatal error that day.
"I promise," Bilbo replied. He only hoped that it was a promise that he could keep. He couldn't actually remember deciding to punch the dwarf, only that he had done it. He only hoped that the next time one of those rages hit—and he knew that there would be a next time—he would have more control over his actions. Somehow, he doubted that would be the case.
ooOO88OOoo
Well, it wasn't Sunday, but it wasn't much past it. This chapter was a bit difficult to write and I hope you enjoyed it.
I would like to say thank you to the people who took the time to add this story to their favorites or alerts.
And an extra special thank you to those of you who reviewed!
Well, that's all for now folks. I hope you enjoyed it but would love to know what you think even if you did not so leave me a review if you have time and/or feel so inclined.
Stickdonkeys