A pool and secrets

Chapter Eight

Merlin stood there shocked for a few seconds before he realised what was happening and pushed the knight away. "What are you doing Gwaine? How could you kiss me?!" Merlin asked aghast.

"I'm sorry Merlin. I don't know what came over me. You just look so beautiful when you smile and I just had to kiss you." Gwaine said moving closer to Merlin. "I know that you don't feel the same about me and that you deeply love the king, but he never sees you for who you are Merlin. I can give you a happy life if you would just let me." Gwaine reached up placing his hands on Merlin's shoulders staring into his eyes pleadingly.

Merlin sighed and turned his gaze to stare at the paddock containing the horses not so far away. "I'm sorry Gwaine. Even if I can't be with him I will stay by his side and love him forever. My feelings will never change even if something did start between us. I see you as a great and true friend, and I do not wish to lose you as such. Please do not make me have to choose between my love for Arthur and our friendship." Merlin pleaded. His shoulder had begun to shake and he buried his face in his hands, hiding his silent tears.

Gwaine felt his heart break in two, after causing his friend to break down. "I would never make you do something like that Merlin. If you cannot be with me, then it would be an honour to still be your best friend." Gwaine pulled Merlins hands away from his face and wiped away the tears. "I mean it Merlin. I care for you to much to make you sad and I do not wish to see you hurting because of me. Please will you forgive me?"

Merlin smiled with puffy eyes. "There is nothing to forgive Gwaine. I know how it feels to have feelings for someone who can't love you back. I just hope that this doesn't change anything between us. I hope you can forgive me."

Gwaine still holding Merlins hands grips them tighter. He pulls Merlin in for a hug. "It's okay. Nothing will change. We will still be best friends forever and if the king ever hurts you, I just might contemplate treason." He smiles when he sees Merlin laugh. He pushes Merlin away and winks at the man before him. "Okay, enough forgiving, tears and feelings. Let's get inside and you can get some rest. We have to take the prisoners tomorrow and I am on first watch."

The two men turned and headed to the small house that one of the villagers had given up for the night. Arthur looked up from his sitting position when the two men entered the house. The king noticed Merlin's puffy eyes and stood up pointing a finger at Gwaine. "What did you do to Merlin? Why has he been crying?" He glared at the knight.

"It was nothing Arthur. There was a gust of wind and some dirt flew into my eyes and I had to wash them with water and they got all puffy that is all" Merlin said to the irate king.

Arthur glared at Gwaine not believing Merlin for second, but he stepped away and put his arm down anyway. "If you say so Merlin." He threw one last glare at Gwaine before he went and sat where he was sitting before the men had come in. "You had better go and start your watch Gwaine and you should get some sleep Merlin."

"Yes, my lord." Gwaine bowed before leaving out the door he had not long ago entered. Merlin spared Arthur a confused look before went over to where he was sleeping and lay down for the night.

Arthur and his party had left early the next morning and arrived back at the westfold tower just before midday. It had taken longer this trip than the last one as they had to go slow for the prisoners they were transporting. After the men had been placed in the cells Arthur and Gaelin went down to interrogate the men. Arthur wanted to know if these men could work for Alar. Merlin pursed his lips in thought; he was standing in front of his horses stall petting her neck. He had not had a chance to talk with Gwaine yet because for some reason Arthur was keeping him very busy with all sorts of assignments. He was so deep in thought that he did not notice somebody come up behind him.

"She is a beauty. Just like her owner." Said the person behind him. Merlin gasped and spun around coming face to face with Blamir, Gaelin's second in charge. The man put his hands up in a soothing gesture with a laugh on his voice. "Sorry I did not mean to scare you."

Merlin shook his head he was feeling a bit dizzy. "No it's fine. Gwaine says that I scare easy." Merlin said with a shy smile.

"As I was saying before I frightened you, your horse is beautiful but I believe you are even more so." Blamir moved in closer to the man before him.

Merlin blushed; averting his eyes from the man before him. "She is not mine. She belongs to Arthur and I am not beautiful but thank you for trying to make me feel nice." Merlin took a step back as Blamir tried to step closer to him again.

"Oh I speak the truth; you are quite beautiful. Would you like to come to the tavern with me and have a drink? I can show you a good time." Blamir said trying to be seductive while also trying to invade Merlin's personal space again. Merlin felt sick all of a sudden; he was sure that his face turned a horrible shade of green. "Are you okay? You look a bit green." Blamir asked. He stepped back to give Merlin some room. "Should I take you to go see our healer?" he asked worried for the young man who was now bent over taking in huge lungful's of air.

Merlin was trying to desperately keep his meal in his stomach but it was a losing battle. He rushed over to a nearby bucket and lost his breakfast. He did not stop vomiting until he had lost everything that was in his stomach. Merlin sat in front of the bucket dry heaving for what felt like ages. When he felt his stomach settle down he noticed he had a nervous panicked man sitting beside him rubbing his back. "Sorry you had to see that."

"No worries. Do you wish me to get somebody for you? The healer? Gwaine? Perhaps the king?" Blamir asked nervously.

"No I will be fine, probably just a stomach flu, it will pass." Merlin said turning to look at the man beside him. "I am going to wash this bucket out and get a drink of water so I don't think we will be able to have a drink together anyway. Sorry." Merlin stood up on shaky legs. He nearly fell back down but Blamir held him steady. Once Merlin felt that he was not going to fall over he picked up the bucket and headed to the well to clean up the mess.

They left the westfold tower the next morning and made it home the next day. Arthur did not seem to be in a good mood and was still trying to keep Gwaine busy. He was disappointed that the men they had captured were not a part of Alar's group of men. They were just trying to survive by stealing from other people because they were outcasts from their own villages.

Merlin was nervous the whole journey home; he was not sure what was wrong with him. He kept on trying to use his magic when no one was around and the pulling feeling was still there. Sometimes it affected his magic in the fact that his magic worked slower now than it used to. Also when they stopped to rest the night before he threw up again after eating dinner and again this morning. He has not eaten since the night before because he tried to eat this morning after he was sick but he still felt nauseous. Merlin did not see how these symptoms could have anything in common but he would ask Gaius when he had the time when at dinner after all his chores for Arthur.

When merlin was getting dinner ready for Arthur and Gwen he had to hold his breath when dishing out the meat. He was just about to be sick again but he put the plate down and walked away for a second taking deep breaths. This is how Gwaine found the servant; he looked at Merlin in worry. "Are you okay Merlin? You don't look so good."

"Gwaine! I'm fine. I think I may have caught a stomach flu when we were away. But I will get a potion from Gaius when I retire later. Do not worry. I am sorry we did not have enough time to talk. Arthur seems to have lots of jobs for you lately. So why are you here?" Merlin glances at the plates with meat on them and casually starts pilling up the plates with vegetables; pretending he cannot see or smell the meat.

"I was just coming to have quiet chat with you, since I finally have some free time. I think Arthur didn't believe you the night at Tallock when you were crying. I think he has been punishing me for hurting you." Gwaine said as Merlin lifted up the plates and headed for the door.

Merlin paused at the door waiting for Gwaine to open the door. "Don't be silly Gwaine. Arthur would not punish you for hurting my feelings. He would probably have a laugh with you about it." Merlin scoffed.

"You really don't notice the way he acts around you sometimes do you?" Gwaine asked.

"Yeah like a servant and sometimes a confidant but only because he needs somebody to listen to his problems, which he has Gwen for now." They have reached the king and Queens dining room and Merlin paused outside the door. "I have to go now. We can catch up tomorrow if you are free."

"Sure Merlin. If the king hasn't got me working all day tomorrow." Gwaine laughs and heads down the corridor to his quarters.

Merlin enters Gaius' and his quarters utterly exhausted from the day; even if he had been doing his usual chores as a servant. Gaius is just finishing making dinner when he enters and slumps down on the table. "Seriously Merlin would you not slouch all over the table we have to eat on that you know." The old man admonishes Merlin. When he did not receive a reply he turns to the young man to see him snoozing away. He sighs and dishes up a plate for the young man. "Merlin eat you dinner before it spoils." Gaius said as he shakes Merlin shoulder trying to rouse him.

Gaius placed Merlins bowl in front of him when he sat up to eat. Merlin takes one sniff of dinner and is running to the nearest free pot and vomiting. "Are you alright merlin?" asked Gaius. The old wizard walked over to merlin and felt his forehead. "You feel clammy. You should get to bed and I will get a potion for you to ease you after vomiting so much." Gaius said handing a cup of water to Merlin.

Merlin rinsed out his mouth with a sip of water from the cup Gaius handed to him. He sat up and looked at the man. "There is something I need you to find out for me Gaius."

"Of course Merlin what is it?" Gaius asked concerned.

"When I have tried to use my magic I have felt a pull on it. I can still use it most of the time but it just takes longer for my magic to be effective. I have been sick the last two days as I was tonight, I have had a few dizzy spells and I am feeling more fatigued than usual. You do not think something or someone is trying to steal my magic do you?" Merlin looked at Gaius with worry.

"Nothing comes to mind but I will have a look at my texts tonight while you sleep." Gaius stood and walked over to his bench that help all his potions. Here take this and go get some sleep.

Merlin swallowed the potion and headed to bed as Gaius finished up his dinner before trying to find out what was wrong with Merlin.

Merlin woke up the next morning feeling a bit bitter than when he had gone to sleep. He rose from his bed and got ready for the day. When he left his room he found Gaius asleep, his face buried in one of his books. Merlin felt sorry that he made Gaius research this for him while he went to sleep. The young wizard shook the old man's shoulder waking him up. Gaius stretched all his aching muscles before he looked up at Merlin; noting Merlin seemed to look a bit better this morning. The old wizard started to scramble around until he came across a potion vial. "Here drink this." Merlin looked at the old man in trepidation. "Hurry up. It is not going to kill you." Merlin sighed and drank the foul tasting potion. When nothing happened he looked at Gaius confused. "Good, that means that nobody or nothing is currently trying to steal your magic. Bad news is that other than you being pregnant I have no other answers. But you can't be pregnant right? Or have you slept with another man recently?"

"Men can't get pregnant Gaius! Are you crazy?!" Merlin screamed losing the colour in his face.

"Men cannot but powerful wizards can Merlin. They were highly respected and treasured in the old days when magic was free." Merlin put a hand over his mouth and rushed to the same pot as the night before. Once he had finished vomiting he rinsed his mouth out and turned towards the old wizard. "Could you be pregnant Merlin?" asked Gaius suspiciously.

"Of course not Gaius, when would I get the time to sleep with anybody let alone a man? I have to go before Arthur sends me to the stocks for being late." Merlin rushed out the door before Gaius could ask him anything else.

A.N. Well here is another chapter of 'A pool and secrets'. Sorry if people don't like the sappy Merlin and if it isn't as good as I usually wright. Hope you enjoyed it otherwise.