This is it. This is the big one. As always Natsume owns everything, I'm just putting them in sexual scenarios.
"...I just wanted to apologize."
He glanced sideways at her. Lillian had remained mostly silent on their walk over from the cafe; somehow things between them seemed more fragile than ever. She sighed momentarily, her eyes remaining fixed on Georgia's new foal and unwilling to meet his. "I didn't mean to freak you out or anything. By giving you the flower, I mean. I just... I don't know. I think I might have over stepped some boundaries, or something."
"Lillian, no-"
"It's fine Ash. I just want you to know that I didn't mean anything by it. It's not like I like you, in that way, or anything. I got a flower for everyone."
Her words stung slightly; he found himself staring at the foal, not really focusing on its clumsy attempts to walk alongside the other horses around it. Now more than ever he felt confused and unsure of where he stood with her. "Do you want to see Snow?" He had blurt it out rather suddenly and without much thought, unable to take the awkward silence that had settled between them once again.
She hesitated, as if she had more to say on the matter, but seemed to decide against it with a shrug. "Sure, I guess."
They made it to the barn well enough, Lillian giving the place a once over until she spotted the lamb. "There's my Snow." She cooed, allowing the tiny sheep to lick her palms affectionately. The weather outside seemed to be recovering from the few hours of warmth it had offered them; rain was beginning to patter against the barn roof, effectively making the quiet between them seem a thousand times worse. He felt as if his stomach was working itself into knots, his mouth strangely dry.
"Well, it looks like she's getting on well enough with the other animals." He watched as Lillian gave the lamb a gentle pat as it left her to be among the other cattle and sheep.
"Yeah." His voice sounded hoarse, the increasingly loud pattering of the rain beginning to make it difficult to hear. "And she's stopped trying to run away as much."
"Good." Lillian shoved her hands in her pockets, pausing slightly as they both listening to the wind beginning to howl outside. "You know, I've been thinking about getting another lamb. Mine must be lonely with nothing but cattle for company... And I was thinking, maybe when Snow gets a bit older..."
"Yeah. I know she'd like that. I mean..." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I would only want her to go with you. You're such a good farmer, and she already loves you..."
Lillian sent him her usual crooked smile. "Thanks." The wind outside suddenly howled, a loud crack of thunder shaking the walls of the barn. He followed Lillian's gaze out the open barn door, the rain beginning to fall so fast and thick it was difficult to see the end of the pasture. "Looks like the weather has decided to take a turn for the worst. Maybe I should head back to my place."
He felt his stomach clench up as the walls of the barn creaking against the wind outside. "Are you sure? It might be better to stay here, just until the rain slows up a bit." She ignored what he said, beginning to button her vest and turn her collar up against the wind. He placed a hand carefully on her arm, ignoring the usual rush of heat in his stomach as he did so. "At least take my umbrella?"
She shrugged out of his grip, chuckling dryly as she did so. "Will you relax Ash? I'll be fine. It's just a little rain." She took a half step outside, her hair already being whipped around by the wind.
"Lillian, it seems like it's getting worse-"
"Don't tell me what to do, Ash."
He bit his tongue and turned to herd the animals into their pens, fighting the urge to follow her. He could see her out to pasture from the corner of his eye; she was surely soaked in a matter of moments, the wind whipping her hair so hard about her face that it was a wonder she could see. He hesitated, watching as she staggered slightly, her bandanna flying off her head and getting lost in the storm.
"... Shit."
He couldn't stand to just watch her struggle; there was no way she would make it home without being swept up in the wind herself. Grabbing an umbrella, he followed her out.
He had to struggle to catch up with her; even being a fully grown male he struggled to keep his footing in the flood that was pouring down. "Come back inside Lillian!" He had to shout to be heard above the storm, barely managing to keep hold of his umbrella as he grabbed her arm.
She had to hold her hair off her face, the wet curtains whipping around wildly as she tried to shrug out of his grip again. "Ash will you let go? I'm fine! Like I said, it's just a little rain."
"I think it's safe to say this is more than just a little rain." His umbrella was jerked roughly out of his hands by the wind as another crack of thunder sounded; he didn't have time to count the seconds before he was soaked, his white shirt pressing hard against the lines of his abdomen. "Can you stop being so stubborn Lillian? It's going to take you hours to get back at this rate!"
He could see her still struggling against his grip and decided to go against his chivalrous upbringing; gripping her hard around the shoulders he pushed her roughly back, using her momentary unbalance to slink an arm around her waist. He half carried, half dragged her back to the barn, ignoring her swearing as he did so.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" She shouted as he shoved her roughly into the barn, her face an angry red. He shrugged her off as he made to turn and lock the dead bolt behind them, ignoring the pain of her fist colliding against his back. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She yelled as he turned back to her, her breath coming out ragged and angry as she fought against her shivering.
He let out a loud and frustrated sigh. "What am I doing?" It seemed as if the tension between them had surmounted to a breaking point, so much so that he was struggling to keep his temper. "Oh, I don't know. I'm just saving you from dying out in a hurricane. What are you doing Lillian?"
Her eyes narrowed at his sarcasm. "You're such a drama queen." She was struggling to get past him, already trying to get outside again. "I don't need you to take care of me, I'm not your girlfriend or something!"
He angrily slapped her hands away from the dead bolt, taking her wrists in his hands and steering her towards the extra hay bales, ignoring the swoop in his stomach at the feeling of her wet body pressed against his. "Lillian, just shut up and let yourself get taken care of, okay? Believe it or not, I'm doing this for your own good." He pushed her roughly back, ignoring her squeal as she landed against the hay. He was breathing heavily, trying to control his anger as he began searching for extra blankets or clothes.
"Oh, what's this then?" It seemed as if as much as he didn't want a fight, she did- she was staring at him angrily, her cheeks radiating red above the tightly knotted bundle of limbs that were her crossed arms and legs. "You're mad at me? Because I'm not some poor pathetic girl who needs you? Because I can manage just fine without you? Well, I'm sorry-"
"Just shut up, Lillian!" He yelled at her, his anger finally boiling over. He couldn't think with her around, not when he was this mad; it also certainly didn't help that her wet dress was clinging to every curve of her body, all the skin that had kept him up at night making it difficult not to stare. His yelling seemed to have quieted her- she was staring angrily at the wall. With a grunt, he yanked a box out of a back corner, one he knew to be filled with a mix of old clothes and blankets kept for such a situation as this.
"Here." He said after a moment of rummaging, roughly tossing a blanket and an old button down shirt at her. "Change into this, you're going to freeze otherwise."
She shivered for a moment but otherwise remained glaring at the wall, the old clothes gathering in a rumpled pile at her feet. "No thanks."
"Lillian-"
"I said no thanks!" She snapped at him, her voice raising an octave, her eyes moving to glare at him rather than the old wood.
"Fine." He snapped back, digging through the box to find the clothes he knew to be his father's, all the while trying to regulate his heavy breathing.
He kept his back to her as he stripped off the wet shirt, trying to keep the blush from his cheeks as he felt her eyes on the muscles of his back. Pausing the swift movement only to kick off his shoes, he yanked his soaked pants off and slipped into a pair of his father's old trousers, ignoring Lillian's tiny gasp as he did so. As he turned towards her, he could see her cheeks were still a bright pink, her eyes sliding from his half naked form and back to the wall.
He sighed, looping the old shirt over his shoulders. He hated fighting with anyone, yet fighting with Lillian was nearly unbearable. More to avoid the angry silence between them he spoke, keeping his eyes on the buttons he was fastening. "These used to be my father's clothes. Last time I tried them on I was swimming in them." Lillian glared harder at the wall. "Guess I've grown into them."
"Pants are a bit short." She sniffed, her tone icy.
That was true- there was about an extra half inch of showing about his bare feet. "I'm taller than he was." She shivered again as he approached her, ignoring him as he sat beside her.
"You know, sometimes I think you're too stubborn for your own good. And I'm not going to apologize for stopping you. It's bad out there and you know it, Lillian." His eyes fell to her wrists, her he could clearly see red marks from where he had grabbed her so roughly. He reached out a hand to touch them. "I am sorry for how I did it. Especially if I hurt you."
She turned a deeper shade of red and pulled away from his touch, her emerald eyes finding his. "Shut up, Ash."
He sighed loudly as she said it, ripping off his hat to run a hand through his hair in frustration, an act that only seemed to enrage her further. "Don't feed me this bullshit. If you're mad at me, be mad. Let's fight, I don't care. Just don't try to smooth things over with a few kind words. Have the decency to let me know I'm pissing you off, at least."
Her words made his cheeks beginning to burn, caught off guard by how quickly he rose in response. "When aren't you pissing me off? That's the problem isn't it. Hasn't been a day since you've come to town that I'm not scrambling to try and figure you out- you and all your damn cryptic comments and always taking what I say the wrong way-"
She was getting into the fighting spirit again, getting on her feet to glare at him. "Well how can't I? You know, you've been nothing but annoying since the start. Hello? Did you miss the fact that I grew up on a farm? I know how to do this, Ash! I don't need any help! Even though you evidently think I can't manage a damn thing myself-"
He was on his feet without being aware of doing so; he could never recall losing control like this, his face nearly purple with rage. "Want to know why I think you can't do these things? Because you're so damn stubborn- most family farms rely on help from the community, you idiot! It would be good for you to let go of some of that fucking Mineral Town pride and let someone show you how to do things, or lend a hand. Your farm would be shit if my mother-"
"Shut up!" She had raised a hand to strike him, her face contorted with rage becoming even more so as he easily caught her, grasping her tiny wrist in his hand.
"You know what else?" He seized her other forearm in his hands and pulled her gruffly against his chest. "You're too damn stubborn to even get out of these wet clothes, even though you know you're going to get sick." Holding her easily in one hand despite her struggling, he bent to grab his father's old shirt. "How are you going to take care of a farm if you're sick? Idiot."
"Oh, fuck off." She hissed as he wheeled her around, her back gently colliding with the barn wall as he pinned her there, his hips pressing firmly into hers.
"Don't swear." He hissed back as he ripped off her denim vest, throwing it carelessly over his shoulder and into the dirt.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Ash-" He ignored her protests as knelt to undo the knots of her boot laces. He could hear her breathing heavily, her thighs trembling slightly beside his face.
He was too caught up to be this close to her, to full of emotion to turn up the chance to feel her, just the once, under his bare hands. He was hardly aware of what he was doing, all the adrenaline of their fight combined with his wanting of her making it impossible for him to think straight. He let out a breath he wasn't aware of holding as he abandoned the pretense of her laces, too close to pass up the opportunity... Acting of their own accord, his fingers reached for her, barely caressing the exposed skin her her calve. He heard a rush of air escape her lips as he did it, the memory of the mountain and her snarled skirt and that breath on his neck pushing him far away from logic. As he rose to meet her he allowed his inhibitions to fade, letting his fingers to drag along the side of her leg, first catching on the fabric of her leggings as he stroked upwards, his hands following the curve of her knees and thighs, pausing only briefly to play with the hem of her dress before they roughly grasped her by the hips. His anger was beginning to leave him, his throat sore from all their yelling- and yet he felt oddly relieved, as if all the dead weight of his frustrations with her had been aired out.
She was shaking- whether from the cold or anger he couldn't tell. He placed one hand against the wood of the barn beside her head, watching as her eyes became half-lidded, her cheeks still pink. He allowed himself to drop his head slightly and inhale the sickly sweet scent of lavender radiating from her, his breath against her neck sending another shiver through her body.
He pulled back slightly, his eyes meeting hers. She was staring at him, her green eyes now wide beneath knitted eyebrows. Her lips parted slightly before she licked them, the low swooping sensation in his stomach begging him to lean in and close the inch wide gap between the two of them... And yet he couldn't. Time seemed to stretch between them, the longer the seconds ticked between them the more his nerve seemed to vanish.
The lips he had been staring at spoke. "What are you doing, Ash?"
He was caught off guard by her gentle tone, the barely there whisper leaving her lips and colliding with his; suddenly, he was very aware of the fact that he had never, not once, kissed a girl he wasn't related to... She was staring at him in an almost confused way; wondering, no doubt, if he would have the nerve to kiss her. He could feel her nose barely touching his, every one of her exhales sending another wave of lavender rushing over him, the scent sending the kind of numbness through his body that he hadn't felt since he last drank whiskey.
"I... I don't know. I'm sorry." He pulled away from her and nearly groaned in anguish, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow beside them. He didn't know whether he was sorry for the fighting or trying- if you could even call it that- to kiss her.
She was very still beneath him, her breathing still slightly erratic. "No, n-no... It's okay." She looped an arm up to grip him about the elbow, willing his eyes to hers. "It's fine." Then she did something she had never done before; reaching forward, she grabbed a fist full of his shirt and pulled him towards her, her other hand reaching up to grip the back of his neck.
He was so embarrassed he could hardly bear to hug her back, his one hand reaching up pathetically to pat her on the back. He could feel the material of her dress pressing against him, no doubt soaking his dry clothes, but he couldn't manage to care, he mind to preoccupied with his own mortification to bother with such matters.
She let go all to quickly, moving as far away from him as she could until she had her back pressed against the wall, her cheeks a slight shade of pink as she avoided his eyes. "... It's stopped raining now, at least." That was true. Whereas before the rain had been impossible to hear over, especially with all the thunder and wind, it had now reduced to a barely there patter against the roof. "...I should probably go back, check on my animals and crops..." He didn't want her to go; he felt a certain amount of shame in what he had done, especially so when she picked her denim vest up on the floor, now covered in dust.
"Lillian." He caught her forearm in his hand, wincing slightly when he saw the red mark his earlier grip had left there. "... I'm sorry. I don't know what happened to me. I've never been like that before..."
She too had turned a little red. "...It's fine. Really." She sent him a crooked smile to make up for her unconvincing tone before escaping his grip, looping her filthy vest over her shoulders. "...Let's just... pretend it never happened. Okay?" She reached up as if to cuff him about the shoulder in her usual manner but seemed to think better of it at the last moment, her hand awkwardly settling on tangling in the ends of her hair. "...See you later, Ash..."
He waited until he heard the dead bolt click behind her before he let out a loud groan, his fist colliding with the wall.
Oh goodness. Please let me know what you think :)