"I've read all of the reports in regards to the incident today. As you know, it's procedure to carry out an investigation into these types of situation," the Chief began as he opened the file in front of him.

"Indeed, sir."

"It's fortunate that you were at Dr Pearce's office at the time. The situation might have become much worse if you hadn't." Horatio said nothing and had not moved apart from nodding his head at his superior's words. "Forgive me for being blunt, but the statement you gave Detective Tripp is a little light on the pertinent details."

Horatio's head rose at that. "I'm not sure I follow, sir," he replied, acting as if he had no idea as to what the Chief was getting at.

"Well, Tripp's report indicates that he felt as if something were not quite right with the whole situation. There was, as he would say, something hinky about it."

"He said that?"

"Not in so many words, Horatio. I'm reading between the lines a little here. I've known Frank Tripp for a long time, I know when he's holding out on me." The Chief smiled, it did nothing to ease Horatio's growing sense of dread. He had a fair idea where this conversation was headed. "I've also read your statement, Lieutenant. I notice that you were careful not to give more than the required basics...as far as details go."

Horatio lowered his gaze to the floor once again, wanting nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. It was coming, it was only a matter of time before the Chief held out his hand and demanded that he hand his badge back.

"Would you like to know what I think, Horatio?" The Chief asked, his voice level. If there were any anger or bitterness in his tone then he did well to hide it.

He would have loved to have said no, to take his leave and return to the Lab, bury himself away in some far corner until this whole sorry saga had passed him by. He knew the Chief too well, the man would have his say, whether he wanted to hear it or not.

Taking his subordinate's silence as an answer, Chief Martin began. "I think Dr Pearce was being a little dishonest in regards to the reason that you were present at his office at the time of the hostage situation." He paused, waiting for the other man to correct him, but it never came. "I think Mr Donato followed you there, planning to confront you. I'm going to ask you a question, Horatio, and I want you to be honest with me...Would I be right in assuming that the reason you went to the doctor's place of work was to seek out his professional services?"

The air left his body in a rush as the blood drained from his face. He'd tried to hide it, but the Chief had worked it out for himself. This was the end, there would be no fooling himself now. The Chief would place him on administrative leave pending psychiatric evaluation, he'd be tied up in so much bureaucratic red tape that he'd never find his way back out again.

Was this what it felt like to have your whole world come crashing down around you? Hadn't what those monsters had done to him been enough? He'd had nightmares about this scenario before, yet somehow it was so much more frightening when they actually came to life. This would be one dream that he would never wake from. This was his reality. It was over, everything he had worked so hard to achieve would be snatched away from him in an instant.

"Please, Chief," he began, not sure of what it was that he would say next.

The Chief could see by the other man's reaction that his assessment of the situation had been correct, it still didn't change the fact that he needed to hear the words that would confirm his thoughts. "I need you to tell me, Horatio. Were you seeing Dr Pearce in a professional capacity?"

He wanted to lie, to run away from the truth. Anything to stop his world caving in any more than it already had. But this turn of events had been inevitable, hadn't it? He knew that there would be no way to keep his deficits from his colleagues permanently. Perhaps it was better this way, perhaps it was easier because he'd not yet had a chance to truly re-immerse himself back into the Lab and the job that he'd once found so easy to do.

Perhaps he would later look back on this moment and laugh, revel in the fact that his had likely been the shortest comeback in the history of the MDPD. Perhaps his fate would be used as a cautionary tale for others as to what happened when you attempted to outrun your past. He'd be remembered as the man that cracked under the strain, the man who could no longer cope with the encroaching darkness of his own shadow. A man who had thought himself strong enough to deal with things on his own, a man who had been proven wrong in the most devastating of ways.

He might be remembered for many things, but he was damn sure that he would not be remembered as a coward and a liar. He would tell the Chief the truth, after months of denying it to himself, he would face his demons head-on. The outcome would not change, but at least he would be able to leave the Department with his head held high, he would leave as a man who had the courage of his convictions and the strength to admit to his own weaknesses.

Just do it, he told himself as he raised his head, sat straighter in his chair and puffed his chest out. If he was bowing out, he was going to do so with grace and dignity. He would go out fighting, not as some snivelling and weak-willed pretender who would beg for mercy. "You're correct, Chief," he replied after a long silence, a silence that had stretched between the two men for what seemed like an eternity.

Chief Martin couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face as the Lieutenant finally admitted to something that he'd known himself all along. It was one of the most admirable traits of the man, his inner strength and his nobility would see him through this, he was a man that had more courage than most. How many other officers would have sat in front of him and lied their way out of the situation? It was something that set Horatio Caine apart from the rest of the people under his command, his unswerving honesty and sense of duty. He would remain true to the oath he took when he became a police officer, placing the good of the Department above his own needs.

He saw the smile on his superior's face and couldn't understand why the man would react in such a way. That had been friends and colleagues for a number of years, hadn't they? A part of him had hoped that Chief would take no pleasure in being the one to end his career, yet he sat before him and seemed happy about it.

"How long have you been seeing the doctor?"

The question seemed to shock him out of his confusion, he shook his head slightly before answering. "The last week or so. It was clear that I…" he frowned as he tried to find the right words, "I still had some issues to resolve," he finished lamely.

"And these sessions, have they been helping?"

What was the point in asking him about it? It wouldn't make the end result any different. "Chief, I appreciate your concern about my wellbeing, but I'd rather get to the matter at hand." It was with a heavy heart that Horatio stood up and unclipped his badge and ID, followed closely by his backup weapon, the small pistol that he kept in an ankle holster on his right leg.

He held the items out in front of him, waiting for his superior to take them from him. The moment seemed to stretch as Chief Martin continued to look at him with that amused expression on his face. He frowned deeply in confusion, why hadn't he taken his badge and gun?

"I think you might need them, Horatio," the Chief remarked as he closed the folder in front of him and placed it back in his desk drawer.

Horatio had always thought of himself as somewhat of an intelligent man, but the Chief's reaction had caught him completely off-guard. He could not, for the life of him, work out why the man would not take his police-issued belongings from him. "Am I missing something here, sir?"

Chief Martin cleared his throat as he once more leaned his elbows on his desk, "I don't want your badge or gun, Lieutenant. I think they might be of more use to you when you're out in the field."

There weren't many times that Horatio was genuinely lost for words, but this had to be one of those rare occasions. "You're not putting me on leave?" he asked, puzzled by the strange twist in proceedings.

"Why would I do that?" The Chief replied, knowing full well what his subordinate meant. Horatio was expecting him to place him on administrative leave pending further psychiatric evaluations, but what would be the point? He'd been keeping a close eye on the comings and goings of the Lieutenant and his department, he'd seen the progress the man had already made since his return. Whatever his issues were, he was dealing with them, and he'd already proved himself capable enough of handling himself in the field with the events of today. To force Horatio out again would not do him or his team any good. He'd never had a reason to doubt the Lieutenant before and it stood to reason that now should not be any different.

But he was planning to place Horatio on an enforced leave, just not the type he'd been expecting. "I don't want to see you here for at least the next week, Horatio."

Ok, now he was really confused. First the Chief had told him that he wouldn't suspend him, was he now saying that he'd changed his mind already? He ran a hand through his hair, not entirely sure whether this was real or he was in fact trapped in some kind of delusion. He'd had weird dreams before, but nothing quite as bizarre as this. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't follow."

He didn't miss the pained expression that crossed the Chief's face as he watched him pull another folder from his desk drawer. "I took a call from the Chief of Police in New York this afternoon," his superior paused as he gauged his reaction. "They've requested your presence there the day after tomorrow. They're footing the bill, it's an all expenses trip back home, Horatio."

Talking about the past was one thing, but going back and revisiting it? He wasn't sure if it was something that he'd ever want to do. He'd left New York under a dark cloud of shame, what good could possibly come from going back there? What would it achieve except to open up old wounds that should have been left to heal on their own?

He could feel his heart thumping as his pulse throbbed painfully in his ears. Perhaps he'd gotten off lightly with the physical punishment the Malucci's had meted out on him. At least they'd come to Miami to do it, he could pretend that his time in New York had never existed, as long as it meant that he never had to go back to the place that held so many memories for him.

It seemed to take him an age to finally find his voice. He swallowed thickly as he willed the words not to stick in his throat as he spoke. "I'm not sure that's such a good idea, Chief."

He heard his superior sigh and felt his own heart sink, knowing instinctively what that meant. "When I said requested...I meant more along the lines of demanded. They were quite clear in their tone I'm afraid. They expect you to be at One Police Plaza in two days' time."

Swallowing again, he nodded his head. "I understand, sir."

"If I could offer a little advice?" the Chief suggested, satisfied when Horatio nodded his head once more. "Take someone with you, I think you're going to need it."

He considered the other man's words, perhaps it would be prudent to take someone with him, he doubted he'd be able to face it on his own. As far as conversations went, this had perhaps been one of the most unexpected that he'd ever experienced. He'd entered the Chief's office resigned to the fact that his career would be over. He still couldn't understand, for the life of him, why he hadn't been stripped of his position within both the Lab and the Department. And now here he was being forced to return to a city that he'd hoped he'd never have to see again.

He rose from the chair slowly, not entirely sure that his shaky legs would hold his weight. It had been such a very long day, all he wanted to do was return home and find some peace and quiet. Some dark little corner where he could regain his equilibrium and try to make the events of the day make some kind of sense. "Is that all, Chief?" he asked, when what he really wanted to ask was if the man had any other surprises up his sleeve with which to blindside him with.

"You look like you've had a hell of a day, my friend." The Chief smirked as he saw the look on Horatio's face. "Sorry to be blunt about it, but you look beat."

"I am, sir. I'd rather like to just go home."

"No doubt, Horatio. There was just one more thing before you leave," the Chief called out as Horatio reached the door, he paused just before he made contact with the handle and looked back over his shoulder. "I've considered your request in regards to the transfer, I can't see why it would be a problem. Give it a few days and the paperwork should be in place."

"Thank you, I appreciate that." Horatio gave his superior a tight smile and nod of the head. "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Granted."

"How did you know I was seeing a therapist?"

Michael Martin found himself being pinned by one of those legendary 'Horatio' stares. He suddenly had a new-found sympathy for those criminals who were subjected to the look on a regular basis. Had he been a lesser man, and had not known the Lieutenant as well as he did, he might well have felt a little intimidated. "They didn't make me Chief just for my good looks and dazzling personality, you know," he drawled as he saw the feint flicker of a smile cross the other man's face. "I was a detective once too, just because I'm stuck up here in this office it doesn't mean that I don't know what's going on around me. I only wish that you could have been honest with me about it."

He could hear the genuine tinge of regret in the man's voice as he spoke. "I think that might have something to do with the fact that I haven't been all that honest with myself recently. I'm working on it though."

"Glad to hear it. Take care up in New York and come back safe."

There was a genuine smile on the Chief's face as he spoke. "I'll try, sir."

"Do more than try. Don't force me to make it an order." There was a sense of warmth mixed with the gentle and well-meaning warning.

"Understood, sir."

She sat in the darkened office, waiting for him. She hadn't liked the look on his face or the sound of his voice when he'd left almost an hour ago. Why wasn't he happy that he'd proven himself capable in the field? Why did he look for all the world as if his life was coming to an end?

His behaviour today had been enough to start alarm bells ringing in her mind, there was something about the way that he carried himself that just didn't sit right with her. She hadn't wanted to ask him when she found him sitting in this very office earlier on, he'd already had far too much on his plate to deal with as it was. Experience had taught her that his mind would be replaying the events of the day, over and over in his head. He would search within himself and question his own actions, trying to ascertain if he could have done things differently.

She knew that Horatio never took the life of another easily, it was perhaps the part of the job that he found hardest to deal with. Each death by his hands would weigh heavily on his conscience and he would question his own motives, trying to convince himself that there could have been another way that did not result in the loss of a life. He would likely head to the Chief's office under the assumption that his actions would be called into question. It was as if he had almost wanted the Chief to force him out of the Department, not wanting to accept the truth of his situation.

Overloading him by voicing her own fears would do him no good, and so she sat quietly in the office, giving him her most encouraging smile as he left the room, hoping that her worst case scenario did not become a reality.

At least the endless cycle of paperwork had kept her busy while she waited, she heard the soft knocking on the office door and knew it was him. At was as if his knock sounded just as defeated as the rest of him. The door opened slowly, she could tell by the slump of his shoulders that the news wasn't good.

"Are you ok?" she asked quietly, catching the slightest movement of his head as he nodded imperceptibly. He let out a weary sigh as he dropped to the couch and ran a hand over his face. "What happened?"

He gave her a small smile as she sat next to him, he could already feel her nervous tension as she looked at him. "The Chief knows…about Jeff."

She couldn't help the small gasp that escaped from her throat. "What did he say?"

She could hear the small humourless laugh that escaped his lips. "He said he'd known all along. I thought for all the world that he'd suspend me."

"But he didn't?"

"No, he didn't." The way he answered made it sound as if he could hardly believe it himself either. "He has put me on leave for at least the next week though."

"Why would he do that?"

She could hear the deep and wearied sigh that he let out, he reached out for her hand and gave it a quick squeeze before releasing it. "I've been summoned by the NYPD. I have to be at headquarters in a couple of days."

"Did they say what it was about?"

"No, but I can guess," he answered after a beat or two before rising to his feet and straightening himself out. "It's been a long day, Calleigh. I'm going to head home, if that's ok?"

She stood up and matched his posture, she could still see the exhaustion in those brilliantly blue eyes of his. "You want me to come with you?"

He shook his head. "I need the drive home to clear my head. You do what you need to here. We'll talk properly when you get back, ok?"

She wrapped him in a tight hug before placing a tender kiss on his cheek. "Ok. I'll be home before you know it."

He gave her another of his sad smiles as he tilted his head to the right. Paying no heed to protocol, he leaned forwards and kissed her soundly, holding her face gently in his hands. She could still feel the tingle of his lips on hers as he left the room and made his way home.

He willed himself not to look back as he walked further away from his lover. There was no way that he could look at her without wanting to confess the truth. Perhaps it was cowardly, but creating the momentary distance between them would allow him time to formulate exactly what it was that he would say to her.

There would be no way of saying it that wouldn't cause her heartache, and it pained him to know that he would be the cause of her misery. But he had to do this, he had no choice. He knew that, in order to truly love her, that he would have to hurt her. He could only hope that in time she would understand his reasons why, the reasons why he'd broken her heart.