I'm back ladies and gents! I had a wonderful vacation and was thinking about this story for a great portion of the time... But now I'm back, and filled with a lot of new ideas :)
Thank you for your patience, hopefully this will be worth the wait.
"... This is how it's supposed to be."
The words kept echoing around his head as he trudged through the ankle deep snow, Laney's tear stained face swimming in his mind's eye. Every step he took into the frosted wilderness of the mountain she haunted him. How had it only been 20 minutes since she had confessed to him? The weight of her words pressed against him like he had been carrying them for years.
Perhaps she was right. The way she told it she was made for him; born into this town to be his wife, to be beside him until death do them part... But if this was how it was supposed to be, why was he having such a hard time accepting it?
He paused, the snow around his ankles beginning to melt into his skin and sending a deeper chill into his bones. She would be a good wife. She would be obedient to him and ensure his future here; she got along with his family, wouldn't be bothered with matters like travelling or otherwise leaving the village. He sighed slightly, beginning his trek onward, not really knowing where he was headed. She would love him, and do right by him. And he could learn to do the same...
Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt some older feelings stir; he had, at one point, wanted her. But they had only been kids then, he was barely 10 years old when things had started, he hadn't known...
"Teach me how to braid hair, Laney."
She had looked up at him incredulously from beneath the oak tree, her hair sitting in a lopsided pony tail on the top of her head. "Why on earth do you need to know how to braid? You're a boy."
He had bit his lip and sat down beside her, his too big shirt sliding out of the tuck in his trousers as he did so, making him appear even skinnier and more gangly than he was. "Mom is messed up... I just... Cheryl's hair is a mess and it's driving me crazy, okay?"
She sent him a slightly confused look but otherwise hadn't skipped a beat; turning her back on him so quickly that her little red dress poofed up suddenly, she parted her hair into three sections. "Like this... Left in the middle, right in the middle..."
The result was a rather knobbly and clumsily woven braid, but he hadn't cared... Anything to stop Cheryl from getting pine cones stuck in her hair. Laney had promptly ripped the woven creation from her hair, sticking her tongue out at him. "Now it's you're turn; I bet you can even practice on yourself, you hair is getting so long... I should start calling you Ashley."
His cheeks had flooded red and he resolved to attend to his own hair later that evening with a pair of old grooming shears...
They were 13. She was wiggling slightly under his touch, anxious to see the final results of his creativity; the daisy he was weaving through her braid was wobbling slightly as he hissed, "Would you hold still?"
She had sniffled slightly, turning back to face the front. "I wish you would tell me what you're doing. I don't know how you come up with these things, Cheryl's so lucky..."
He had finished pinning the daisy behind her ear and promptly steered her towards the window of the barn, her reflection bouncing off the stained windowpane glass. "There you are, then. Do you like it?"
She had squealed and thrown her arms around him...
They were 16, the first time he had felt properly embarrassed around her; she was wearing her best dress, a blue number Howard had picked out that showed off the womanly curves he had only just noticed. She was whining at him across a cafe table. "Please, Ash? Harvey Baker is coming from the other village tonight and I want to look pretty, you do hair better than I do..."
He had felt a surge of jealously over who Harvey Baker was but stood up regardless and worked his way around the table, the clenching in his stomach easing slightly as he began to work his hands through her hair. He listened to her babble as he began to weave her hair into a French braid, all the while knowing that at that night's Music Festival he would be watching her very closely.
"Thanks, Ash! You're the best!" She had thrown her arms around him in her usual fashion, the both of them blushing slightly as she pulled back, and he wondered for the first time if there was some merit to the teasing after all...
But they had been kids then. It was puppy love, first love if anything; the kind that always burns inside you without you really knowing, the kind that you grow out of but never forget. It had been real then but now... Hadn't their kiss already proven that?
No. No, marrying Laney was the right thing to do. It may not be what he wanted, but he would learn. It was what was needed of him; and hadn't he always operated in a state of self-sacrifice? He had sacrificed his childhood for his family, his freedom for the farm... And now he would sacrifice his heart, too.
He had been walking without thinking and had arrived at his and Lillian's spot by the lake. He hadn't been back to it without her; it felt very strange to see it in its current, frosty state. It seemed as if it was reacting to his mood, rather than the seasons; icicles hung off every snow coated surface, the water of the lake frozen solid in the cool winter air.
Something was moving in the distance; for one wild moment he thought he was on the verge of a bear encounter, but recognized the tan skin and wayward black hair almost immediately- it was the boy Kana, from the other village. He felt a surge of hatred run though him- what was he doing on this side of the mountain?
"Look over there, Kana. I think I see something."
He felt a rush of horror run through him- that was Lillian's voice. He had half a mind to turn on his heel and rush back into town, but his curiosity was beginning to get the better of him... Against his better judgement he moved slightly to the left, so as to see her better.
His first thought was that she looked slightly ill; her hair was lank and had lost some of its usual springy curls, her clothes seeming to fit her somewhat looser than they had before. Even her smile seemed less crooked than usual, despite the fact that she was wearing it as she looked past Kana.
She moved to rush past him and he felt his features fall into a frown as the other boy reached for her, catching her about the elbow and halting her progress. "Slow down! We only just got here. Unless you're telling me that the only reason we're here is to actually find some lavender?"
Lillian easily shrugged out of his grip, turning her back on his roguish grin in favor of pursuing a clump of snow covered bushes. "Excuse me, some of us have run out of perfume. I haven't been up to the village that much lately... But Cam's supposed to be back tomorrow. I figure I'll ask him to make a bunch now, then I won't have to come back much in the spring..." She trailed of, scowling slightly as snow fell from the bushes and coated her feet.
"That reminds me." The older boy began, turning slightly red about the cheeks as she bent suddenly and emerged with a handful of the plant in question. "I took Hayate out for a ride around the property you bought. I think it'll be good for spring; lots of room to establish a decent field. I don't know if you can hold that many more animals, though."
"Well, that's not a problem." She was rummaging in her bag and had let her hair swing forward to hide her face, yet it didn't disguise the slight wobble in her voice. "I don't think I'll be buying anymore from... I mean, maybe from Dad but..."
She stood up straight and seemed surprised to find herself so close to Kana, who was now looking down at her with a strange expression on his face. He felt a stabbing sensation in his chest as the darker boy grabbed her about the elbows, a long chunk falling from his thick pony tail and brushing against her cheek.
"... I hate seeing you like this, Lillian." Lillian dropped her gaze to her feet and went a shade of pink. "I didn't want to tell you this before, because, well, you know... But I'm really excited about you moving to Konohana. I feel like this could be the start of something big." He let go of her and rummaged in his jacket pocket. "And I know it's Harmony Day in your village and that it's usually the girls that do the giving this time of year, but I just wanted to make my intentions clear..." He pulled out a slightly dented box with a rather elaborate bow on it and pushed it into her shaking hands.
"Oh, Kana..." Lillian sounded as if she had a bad head cold as she clumsily slipped off the cover, revealing several heart shaped chocolates. "I-I don't know what to say. Thanks."
He didn't want to watch anymore, and yet found himself rooted on the spot as Kana shrugged, grinning down at Lillian. "It's nothing. And listen, I know you're supposed to move in after the 2nd, but I was thinking... Hayate misses you. And we're both wondering if you would maybe want to spend New Years Eve at my place."
"Oh, Kana- I actually kind of wanted to spend it alone."
But Kana seemed to find courage from Lillian's dismissal in the way he himself wouldn't have, and puffed his chest out so hard it sent the box of chocolates jostling in her hands. "Come on. You, me, Hayate and a bottle of wine... It'll be fun. Please?"
She had turned away suddenly with the pretense of stowing the chocolates and the lavender in the pouch that resided about her hip but stopped suddenly, her mouth slightly open in surprise. Her eyes locked with his and he suddenly wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole. "A-Ash?!"
His simultaneously went of a shade of puce and regained control of his feet; with a great lurch, he began to bounce somewhat awkwardly on the balls of his feet, looking anywhere but at the two of them. "S-sorry. I didn't mean to barge in-"
Lillian leapt in from of Kana and was already in the process of dragging him out of the clearing, the lavender she had gathering hanging dangerously out of her pouch. "Don't be ridiculous, you weren't interrupting anything..."
"-No, of course, I mean-"
"-You're perfectly welcome to-"
"-I actually thought you two were bears, for a moment-"
Kana let out a bark of laughter at the two of them and planted his feet firmly in the ground, making it impossible for Lillian to drag him anywhere. "Both of you need to get a grip. It's pathetic."
Lillian looked like she could have hit him; he saw her hands ball into fists at her sides- clearly, she was considering it. She sent the older boy a scathing look, her tone dangerously low. "Shut it, Kana."
However, Kana seemed to be enjoying himself; he sent Lillian a rather lopsided smirk. "I'm just being honest." He paused, his eyes falling on Ash as he maneuvered himself in front of Lillian, blocking her from view. "What do you want, farm boy?"
His insides, which had been admittedly frozen as of late, seemed to surge with a heat of fury that only increased by a ten-fold as Kana tilted his head back, surveying him down his pointed nose. He took a rather deep breath and forced himself to watch his temper. "Nothing." He could hardly see Lillian behind the vast mass of muscle that was Kana, but could tell she was standing very still.
Kana seemed to be weighing his words carefully, as if deciding how many he was worth. After several seconds he smirked once more before he turned back to Lillian and placed his hands on her shoulders, as if to steer her away like some sort of cattle. "Then scram, kid."
He caught Lillian's eye for half a second before she was blocked once against from view and acted without thinking; rushing forward, he thrust his fist roughly against the back of Kana's skull. He couldn't stop himself; he hated seeing Lillian with him, but hated even more that she was allowing herself to be led about like some sort of show dog. And suddenly, it was if all the feeling was rushing back to him, all his anger flying back into his body through his fists and not lessening as Kana righted himself and began to fight back.
He had never been in a true fist fight, but knew well enough he was losing; Kana was quite a bit larger than he was and seemed to be much more experienced when it came to this sort of thing. It did give him a certain amount of satisfaction as they tumbled against a snow bank, however, to see blood beginning to gush down the back of Kana's neck...
But Kana was recovering from the blow; rocking upwards he pushed him off the ground and landed a few punches to his kidneys, making him see stars as he tried to shove the larger boy off. But Kana wasn't having it- with a loud grunt he grabbed him about the collar and collided another fist with his jaw... They had rolled onto the edge of the river bank now, each of their fists pummeling wildly at whatever flesh they could reach; he nearly screamed as Kana rammed the back of his head into the thinned ice around the edge, the freezing shards pounding against his head and making him cough water out of his lungs.
Somewhere in the back of his mind he had registered that Lillian had joined the fray; one of her finger nails had cut Kana across the cheek as she clawed at him, trying to pull him off. More ice around them was beginning to crack; they were both soaking wet now and had to push their sopping hair out of their eyes in order to see.
"Stop it!" It was Lillian's voice that pulled him from his adrenaline fuelled rage, and somewhere above him he could see her pulling desperately at Kana's shoulders. "Stop it- both of you-!" Someone had misaimed with their elbows and hit her hard about the cheek, making her fall back against the shore with a yelp.
The effect was instantaneous; Kana sent him plunging once more into the waters before he rushed to Lillian's side. It was only now, as he lay almost fully submerged in the water, that he was beginning to feel the full effect of his fight; he was sure he had cracked a few ribs, and was finding it difficult to keep his head above water- his swollen jaw seemed to have doubled the weight on his neck. One of his eyes was swollen shut too; through the slit he could see Kana struggling to help Lillian to her feet as she swore at him and attempted to hit him.
"Get away from me, you fucking idiot... Go back to your side of the mountain." She slapped away the hand he extended to try to help her up. "I mean it, Kana. I can't even look at you..."
"Lillian-"
But Lillian had turned a delicate shade of red as he reached for her once more, and this time she actually did hit him; the sound of her hand colliding with the side of his face echoed around them, and even with his ears under water he could hear it. "Fuck off, Kana. Look at what you've done, look at the state of him..."
He felt his eyes drifting shut as she turned to look at him, and was already under the water once more before she reached the edge of the snowy bank.
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