Love and Other Tragedies
Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. As I mentioned I've moved states, and we've had a bit of an internet issue that I wish I could say has been resolved, but alas I'm posting this from a library and can't promise any sort of regular updating as of right now. However, I have not forgotten this story and I plan on continuing to post when I can.
If anyone needs a refresher, here's a brief (well, I tried) synopsis.
Previously: Lily has been dating Sirius since fifth year. She has three dorm mates: Evie (eccentric blonde), Kat (tiny spitfire), and Marley (who mostly hangs out with Honor Simmons and Emmeline Vance). One night James confronts Lily and tells her she's 'pathetic.' During summer break has nowhere to go and ends up setting up a new life in Diagon Alley where she works at The Leaky Cauldron (and is known as Pepper), lives above Magical Menagerie (where Mr. Price calls her Ms. Evans), and is best mates with a twenty-four year old Auror who calls her Whiskey and who she calls Baker (actually named Harland and is fellow 7th year Honor's brother).
Thanks to Evie, Lily's hair is darker and no longer curly. Lily has become taken with a knut sized turtle named Harvey and Mr. Eeylops is running the menagerie. She attended a party with Baker where she was reunited with Honor, Remus, Marley, and James. She ends up drunk and talking to James by the pool. Remus invites Baker and Lily to Kat's birthday on August 31st at James' house.
Chapter Five
Bloody Perfect
It wasn't until two weeks after Honor's party that Lily realized how soon her summer would be coming to an end. Rushing back to her flat after a very long night at the bar she had nearly trampled over a group of Hogwarts age students with their brimming bags of books and robes in tow.
They didn't seem to recognize the dirty, tired barmaid as the same girl who wore a shiny prefect badge and hung around the Marauders at school, but Lily was still disturbed by their reminder of her return to life.
The reminders did not stop there though. The very same morning she was greeted by a brown owl sent to deliver her Hogwarts' letter.
She hadn't even bothered to open it.
Noise from the shop below had never really bothered her, but now it bellowed at her all day. She cast spell after spell to dull the volume, but true to Mr. Price's word, the flat had somehow formed a tolerance to magic. Students gathered at the menagerie, all of them eager to purchase a new pet.
Lily didn't buy any books or robes or any other type of supplies. She didn't talk about it. She was in denial.
The whole summer Lily and Baker had spent a lot of time together, but they became nearly inseparable as September loomed ahead of them.
He understood not to push her into talking about going back to Hogwarts and she knew not to talk about his return to work, and as these things tend to happen, both things fell on the same day.
So while Lily would be boarding the Hogwarts Express, Baker would be leaving on an Auror mission for the next six months.
Their silent arrangement worked perfectly until three days before September First.
"Should I make plans for the thirty-first?" Baker knew better than to look at her when he asked. His expression strained to look casual, focused on his butterbeer.
After a full summer at The Leaky Cauldron, Lily looked comfortable behind the bar and all the men who had come to see Tom's pretty new barmaid in June now thought of her as a part of the environment.
She wasn't a novelty anymore. She had earned her place with them listening to their problems and making their drinks just as strong as they liked them.
Instead of answering her friend immediately she wandered down the bar to serve another customer.
When she returned to stand in front of his spot she held her head high daring him to look at her. "I should go."
He waited for her to continue, fully aware that her reply most certainly wasn't an answer.
"She's my best mate." Talking about Kat was like talking about a good book she had read years ago. It felt surreal.
She tried picturing the Kat she knew in her head with her tiny frame and black fringe that always hung into her eyes. But Lily couldn't produce a proper image. Kat was always taller than she really was or had suddenly grown the chest she'd always envied.
"I'm your best mate." Baker corrected with a scowl. "This Kat character can be your replacement best mate."
How very like her Auror to be jealous of a slip of a girl half his size. Lily rolled her eyes at him. "I think she might argue that you were her replacement, and believe me she would argue."
"Oh… a feisty one?" He wiggled his eyebrows appreciatively.
"Wanker." She accused of his always perverted thoughts.
He spoke after a pause. "You're angry."
She started to tell him to shove-off if he thought after all the things that had come out of his mouth that she would be angry after that nearly innocent comment, but he finished his thought before she could.
"Not at me- at your friends."
"Why would I be angry?" She was perplexed by his reasoning. She was worried about her friends not accepting her.
"It would be cheating if I told you."
She couldn't halt her glare. "Okay, Harland."
The use of his real name earned her a hard look in return.
"I'll pick you up at your flat, Lily."
The next day Lily was confronted with her first task of defeat.
She couldn't fight off what was coming any longer and as she dug through her stash of accumulated money to find Evie's contribution for Kat's birthday present, she realized that she'd done quite well for herself.
She would definitely have enough gold for her school books as well as a few new clothes. However, most importantly Lily had exactly enough extra money to make one very special purchase.
Harvey, the Knut sized turtle, from the menagerie had never been purchased through the summer, but he'd be getting a new home at Hogwarts with her.
Today was her last free day and it was time to face facts. In two days she would be boarding the Hogwarts Express just as she had done every year since she was eleven. She would be stepping back into the world that was so dangerous for her unstable happiness.
She had found the first strings of happiness in Diagon Alley and she refused to take a step backward on September first.
She wouldn't have Baker there for support or the comfort of knowing that people accepted her like they did here, but she would have Harvey. It was impossible to be sad with her tiny green friend.
Getting ready for the long day of errands, Lily let her dark straight hair hang around her. It was amusing that she had been so afraid that her changed hair would be something to push away her identity, when in the end whenever Lily caught a glance of the long locks it reminded her of the people and times she spent here.
It was a reminder that she could be herself and still be loved.
With a sense of dread she eyed the stiff envelope that seemed to mock her.
In front of her the unopened letter held the list of books and supplies that were required for her next year of school. It also held the possibility of a tiny badge that had once been a symbol of everything she worked for.
Now it would only be a reminder of the person she was trying to forget.
Like throwing back shots at the beginning of the summer there was only one way to handle this- quickly and with the hope that she don't throw up.
Ripping into the envelope, the little pin with an insignificant cursive "HG" embroidered into the fabric fell back into her trunk. She pocketed the school supplies list instead.
She would think about everything else later.
She took the door that exited through Magical Menagerie and took a quick peek at Harvey while trying to avoid the horrible worker, Eeylops.
Brand new baby turtles surrounded Harvey with multi colored shells of pink and blue, but his unique emerald color made him easy to spot. The baby turtles had already outgrown him, and she worried he would develop a complex.
Eeylops' presence had cut down on her time spent with the animals and she felt guilty thinking Harvey might suspect she'd forgotten him.
She would be making it up to him in a big way soon enough though and she smiled stopping to pet a new litter of kittens that were for sale on the way out.
It was disappointed that Mr. Price wouldn't be back in the shop before she left. She would have liked to thank him for the loft and the kindness.
First on her list was the present for Kat. Evie had specified the purchase of a charm bracelet that she'd seen last summer at a little boutique that Lily had never seen before.
Her path took her right past The Broom Closet and she spotted Baker's friends in the window exactly where they had been seated when Lily had met them.
Maureen's Cupboard for the Stylish Witch was a charming store. It was full everything from unique jewelry to posh clothing. As promised a wide variety of charm bracelets were in a case near the back and she quickly found one that fit Evie's budget with appropriate style. A glimmering "K" charm caught her eye and she had it wrapped separately for Kat from herself.
While she waited for the worker to wrap her gifts, she fingered a few pieces of clothing.
She held up a black dress to her body admiring the daring backless silhouette. It was short stopping above the knee and while the front was modest, cutting elegantly under her collar bone with short sleeves, the back was as nonexistent.
"You should try it on." The pretty woman behind the counter encouraged.
Lily pulled at the luscious material thoughtfully. "I've never worn anything like this before."
"We've got some lovely pastel dresses as well, if those are more your color."
It was either the word pastel or the inclination of style, but next thing Lily knew she was in a blue curtained dressing room admiring the soft curve of her back.
The rich black color made her skin look like smooth cream and contrasted perfectly with her auburn hair. For once she was happy with the darker tone as the redder hue might have been too much.
"Now that is a show stopper." The saleslady whistled when Lily came out of the dressing room. "If my body looked that fit in any piece of clothing I would have it permanently attached to my skin."
Lily couldn't argue. Staring at herself in the mirror she saw exactly what her dorm mates were always complaining about. Her body was all gentle curves and soft arches.
"Only one problem now." A slow smile spread across the woman's face. "Do you have somewhere to wear it to?"
An excited feeling sprouted in her chest for the first time about returning to her old life.
She had the perfect place to wear this perfect dress. There was no way anyone would mistake her for the Lily they knew in this daring number.
After picking out a few other items of clothing, Lily left the boutique to drop her purchases off at the loft.
With her arms free and a cheerful smile she finished the rest of her school shopping. She had spent more money than she intended and she'd just have to miss a Hogsmeade weekend or two to compensate, but it was worth it.
It was three in the afternoon which left her a few hours to sleep before work. It would be her last night at The Leaky Cauldron and she couldn't help but feel a bit sad as she lay down and quickly drifted off.
"Pepper!" A round of applause echoed out through the bar when she entered at the start of her shift.
They were all there. All of her little old men smiled crookedly raising a drink in her honor.
Grinning like an idiot Baker sat in the middle of the crowd obviously having orchestrated her little goodbye party.
She hadn't ever seen the pub so crowded and they all patted her on the back as she passed and some even grabbed her for a hug.
She felt her eyes sting dangerously and fought against the pull purposefully dodging Baker and opting to head behind the bar instead.
She knew she would cry if she talked to Baker.
Every shot she poured was met with a hearty cheer from the crowd and so ensued one of the wildest nights The Leaky Cauldron had seen in a century.
Lily made enough tips to make up all the Hogsmeade weekends she had lost at Maureen's and even put some into savings.
The rowdy environment sustained until later than ever before and even though Tom wasn't there, he sent someone to take over for her early as a farewell gift.
Oddly, Baker had disappeared before midnight and she never got to thank him for getting everyone to participate.
Lily made it home hours earlier than she normally did and was shocked by how exhausted she was despite her early bedtime.
She was asleep in seconds with a content smile on her face.
Unfortunately, she wasn't smiling when she woke up.
Her head was fuzzy from sleeping too long and half the afternoon had passed leaving her to rush through packing in time to get ready for the party.
Darting around the room she fired off spells trying to remove every bit of evidence that she had lived here. She wanted it to be cleaner for Mr. Price than when she had moved in. He had taken a chance on her and she owed him a lot for his small kindness.
She didn't waste any time jumping into the bath and using her wand to do what she could to speed up the getting ready process.
This summer had improved her "muggle" mindset too, she supposed.
When Baker arrived she was pulling on her simple heels as the finishing touch. Uncharacteristically, he remained silent as she grabbed her handbag and took her time running her hands through her hair letting the soft curtain tickle her naked back.
" 'lo, Whiskey." He said softly in greeting.
He looked utterly shag worthy in dark dress pants and muted green shirt that exactly matched the color of his eyes. The shirt hung across his defined chest and she restrained from running her hand down his hard abdomen. She knew how it would feel and the sheer physical attraction made her tingle. "You look lovely."
Lovely. Lovely Lily. It made her irrationally angry at him.
She reined it in quickly though. He couldn't help that the sincere compliment was a reminder of the nickname that described every bit of pathetic that she had been.
It wasn't his fault that lovely was all she'd ever been seen as.
Baker had found out directions to James' house from Honor, who was apparently just bursting at the seams for the "party of the year."
Baker told her all about Honor's incessant excitement that everyone from Hogwarts would be there along with the last few graduating classes as well.
He made Honor seem like a silly little girl, and Lily took a second to speculate if he realized that she and Honor were the same age.
After they apparated to the small village nearest the Potter Estate, Baker dragged them into a tiny muggle pub for her "nerves."
She had to agree that a quick shot of firewhiskey would do wonders for her anxiety.
Sitting at a table Lily watched Baker chat with the bartender.
A few men and women were sprinkled throughout the dim space, and Lily noticed them eyeing her. She ignored it though and gave her best mate a big smile when he returned.
"A whiskey, for Whiskey." He spoke, an unbearably charming smile playing across his lips.
"Bullocks." She giggled at her earlier stupidity. "A summer away from muggles has made me so… witch. I forgot muggles don't drink firewhiskey."
"And wizards don't drink whiskey." He sat a shot in front of each of them. "So a summer with you has made me so… muggle."
They were treading on dangerous ground. She wasn't ready to think of the summer as the past yet. If it was over then he would be gone.
The horrible stinging seemed to grip her throat scooping into her chest and she fought against it for the millionth time this summer.
She hadn't cried once though. Not when she had been without a home, not when she was hopeless, not when everyone didn't care enough to ask, she hadn't shed a tear and she wasn't going to start now.
Hastily she swallowed the shot hoping to chase away the stinging. He made a face.
"Well, I was going to have a toast to my first shot of your muggle liquor, but okay- here goes."
The whiskey hadn't done the job, but Baker had. How easily he could make her pain go away.
The leisure walk up to the gate of the estate was cool and Lily's feet remained comfortable in her heels thanks to a charm she'd done earlier.
Baker held her hand and she laughed loudly at all his jokes and come-ons.
They stopped at the gate, mutually understanding she needed one last second before being so completely immersed back into her old world.
He didn't speak and for that she was thankful.
They lingered just before the entrance. With one insignificant step, she wouldn't be Whiskey anymore and he wouldn't be Baker.
But why?
Why couldn't she stay in her little flat in Diagon Alley and be a barmaid at The Leaky Cauldron for the rest of her life?
It would be so easy. She could be Whiskey, or Ms. Evans, or Pepper forever.
But because Baker somehow knew her better than anyone she'd ever met, he sensed her hesitation and took the step into the gate before her.
Because that's what friends are. They take the step forward when you can't.
"Alright, Lily?" He held his sturdy hand out to her and she didn't even pause wrapping her smaller one in his.
Giving him a small nod she said. "Thank you, Harland."
And she meant it about everything.
The sounds of the party echoed around them despite their distance from the towering residence.
The young guests had spilt out of the house onto the lawn, but no one recognized the beautiful witch with Honor's older brother as they passed into the dwelling.
Stepping over the threshold Lily dropped Baker's hand and nervously gripped Kat's presents with both hands.
"I'm going to find Abbott and some of those guys. They're supposed to be here too." He referenced his Hogwarts' friends that Lily had met earlier in the summer at The Broom Closet. "If you need me…"
She nodded in understanding. If she needed him, Baker would be there for her.
She had a feeling he always would be.
James' house was beautiful. As nervous as she was she could still appreciate the majestic abode. The entranceway was grand with a staircase that belonged in a classic novel. The atmosphere was sleek, yet somehow comfortable. She bumped into people in the heavy crowd, but she hadn't found any of the people she needed too.
Strange that she'd been dreading being in this setting again and when she was here ready to face her life, it was nowhere to be found.
Again
Something about that tickled her mind and she remembered Baker's words a week ago at the bar about being angry.
But she wasn't angry. Why would she be? It didn't make sense.
Right?
Of course they were there.
Finally after making her way through rooms of people she didn't care to see and somehow none of them seeming to see her in return, she found the boys who could still stop her with their undeniable magnetism.
The Marauders could have been holding court in the large sitting room she found them in.
This room was fuller than the others and the Marauders were at the head of it all. Three couches and two armchairs were placed strategically facing each other with a giant fireplace as the centerpiece.
Random students decorated the furniture, all subconsciously leaning towards the fireplace where the Marauders made themselves comfortable.
Blonde hair glowing after a summer in the sun, Peter had his back propped against the bottom of the fireplace staring in almost rapture of his friends. Remus was seated, separated from the others by Peter's back, on the ledge smiling warmly and Sirius sat on the other side telling a story that had everyone else in the room in stitches.
And then there was James Potter.
His back was pushed against the wall opposed to Sirius and Remus who sat on the edge. He looked relaxed and his face interested but not enraptured. His tan made him almost unfairly attractive and she could see his quidditch muscles pulling against his white shirt from a summer of hard work.
Her hand worked against her side as she tried to cure the forgotten itch where so long ago he had placed his lips.
It felt like another lifetime- certainly another Lily.
He was staring at her, of course.
For the first time in Lily's entire life, her stomach flipped.
It felt like she was going to throw up and cry and explode from happiness all at the same time.
She wobbled in the doorway unprepared and unsure exactly what had just occurred. No one noticed her place a steadying hand on the door frame. All she could do was stare right back at him.
She wondered if this was why he stared at her all the time, not because he wanted to, but because he simply couldn't help it.
It was terrible. Her heart felt heavy and she thought for a moment she might be having a fit.
It wasn't fair.
Somehow James Potter still saw her. She had walked through a house full of people she knew and he was the only one her saw her.
"Lily?" It wasn't James who spoke, but a tiny black haired girl who sometimes went by the name of Lily's best mate.
Kat was sandwiched on the settee closest to the Marauders and she had gone unnoticed before because of her spot between two tall boys who almost hid her from view.
"Happy Birthday!" Lily exclaimed wanting to dispel any awkwardness from her staring match with James.
Unfortunately, this drew the attention of every single person in the room who all stared at her in return.
"Wow.. you look… wow!" Bouncing quickly to where Lily loitered near the door, Kat grabbed her into a hug. "I'm a bit mad at you for your disappearing act this summer, but that's no business for parties! Presents? For me?"
She felt the tingle of anger again.
Lily hadn't disappeared.
Kat had left her to fend for herself knowing Lily had nowhere to go. They had both known that day in the train station that Lily was only trying to make Kat feel better.
Lily didn't have anyone, but Kat was right- that was no business for parties.
"Of course they are yours!" She tried on a cheerful smile. "One's from Evie. We had it all planned before she left. Couldn't let you think your best mate had forgotten your birthday."
After opening the presents and gushing over them for a proper amount of time, Kat flitted away to be a good birthday girl and talk to all the other guests.
The problem was that Lily was left to her other reunions now.
She approached the fireplace carefully. In a hopeless attempt to regain her composure she took extra time to elegantly skirt through the crowd and furniture to greet the boys.
James wasn't holding court with his friends anymore. He was long gone by the time she arrived in front of the others.
"Now mates, wouldn't you say this bird looks a bit like my girlfriend?" Sirius' voice was as equally harsh as it was teasing. "Couldn't be though because last I heard my Lovely Lily was unreachable at her sister's flat in London. She also has a different color of hair and certainly doesn't own that dress."
She stared at him for a beat listening to his voice get harder by the word.
People around them stopped their conversation to listen and Peter's eyes darted around nervously.
"Terribly sorry, dear." She felt a bit repulsed that this didn't sound more uncharacteristic coming from her. She wanted it to sound sarcastic and when she continued she was sure he got the message lost in her first statement. "Let's not make sure I'm okay. Let's not make sure my life hasn't gone to rubbish. Let's talk about Evie's fucked up hair potion and my bloody dress!"
If his voice had been harsh, then hers was ice.
She was full of anger.
It hadn't come from his words though; it appeared those had only been a catalyst.
Baker was right again, she was furious. She had been since she stepped foot off the Hogwarts Express at the end of last year.
On Sirius' part, he looked down right flabbergasted. His body was reclined slightly away from her like he had been slapped. But her hand didn't sting in the way a slap would leave it so she was pretty sure she hadn't.
Lovely Lily was gone and it was very clear to everyone in the room. Their stares nearly suffocated her and she fled quickly through the nearest doorway.
Sirius grabbed her arm whipping her around to face him through her own momentum. Her physical disadvantage irritated her and she shouted. "Oh, shove off!"
He let her go then and soon she was back in the entranceway. She was tempted to take the marble swirling stairs to the second level of the house, but she resisted. It seemed off limits.
"Lily, there you are!" Marley popped up in front of Lily. Her short blonde curls bounced like springs around her face. The pink ends were only slightly discolored now. "I heard you had arrived. Everyone's talking about your new look."
Marley had her by the hand and Lily allowed herself to be unknowingly pulled wherever her dorm mate wanted.
When Lily didn't speak, Marley spoke to fill the silence.
"It's really not fair. You already had a handsome boyfriend and now it seems you'll probably steal everyone else's without even meaning too. I think I'd hate you if you weren't so bloody modest."
Marley laughed at her own statement and Lily smiled at her sincerely. Marley was a good person through and through.
She had also been leading Lily to exactly where she wanted to be after her slightly irrational outburst- the liquor.
After two shots, Lily heard Sirius was looking for her and she slipped off in the opposite direction.
She ended up in a nearly empty room with a magical piano that played by itself whatever you could request. The only other people in the room were a group of younger students who she thought she recognized as Ravenclaws.
She could always rely on the students of Hogwarts to make it easy for her to hide. She had perfected it after six years, after all.
"I've been looking everywhere for you." For a horrible half second she thought Sirius had found her, but it was Baker instead.
She relaxed with a sigh.
"Come on." His voice sounded strange- professional almost. She followed him into the entranceway she was now familiar with and when he turned to her, holding her by the arms, she knew something was wrong. "I'm leaving."
"Let me tell Kat goodbye and I'm ready too. That's kind of perfect actually."
"Last night at the bar I got a summons to be on alert for the possibility of immediate leave and that's why I left so early. I just got the summons. I'm leaving for the mission now. I should have apparated immediately, but I had to say goodbye."
For some reason all Lily could focus on was the scar on his face.
Why had she never asked him how he got it?
She couldn't speak. Instead she stared at him numbly. The summer was the past.
It was over.
Baker was gone.
"You really are my best mate, Whiskey." He pulled at her dark hair that he loved so much as if to memorize it.
She grabbed him because the words wouldn't come out and hugged him fiercely. She wanted to hold onto him longer, but he was pulling away with a kiss on her cheek.
The night swallowed him up as she stared through the open door. He was gone.
"That's what you've been doing all summer?" The cruelness of her boyfriend's voice cut into her raw emotions. "You've been shagging some guy who made you think you had to be something you're not?"
Her broken body leaned forward slightly when Baker had gone. Her chest was almost concave. She thought she might fall over. It was too soon for him to really be gone. She deserved more time.
"You stupid slag!" Sirius misunderstood. If she could speak then she could correct him, but the words still wouldn't come. Her silence enraged him. "Bloody hell! I loved you! I never asked you to change anything. I loved you for exactly who you were!"
He had her backed up to the stairs. With every step backwards all she could do was shake her head. She willed a retort to her lips, but none would come as she walked slowly backwards up the stairs and he continued his advance towards her.
Tripping slightly over the second step, her bum hit the hard marble and she cringed at the harsh blow.
Sirius continued to shout at her, but there were different eyes on her from behind him.
James was standing in the little room off the entranceway.
Her eyes met his behind Sirius and too her complete shock, the flip returned.
Her boyfriend was calling her a slag and accusing her of stepping out on him and she can't feel a thing.
But James Potter meets her eyes and the world spins.
It was enough to give her courage. It also really pissed her off.
"FUCK YOU!" She was so full of anger. It seemed to fill up all the empty space that Baker took with him. She had never felt anything like it before. "I have never shagged, Baker! He was my best friend. Unlike you, he took half a second to quit thinking about himself all the time and realized that something was wrong with me!"
She paused, but only to take deep ragged breaths that were necessary to replenish her starving lungs.
There was nothing but air in her mouth. She tried to continue but there wasn't enough oxygen. She felt sick and reached out for the banister to support her.
"Is this about where we always get off to, Lovely?" Sirius asked in a gentle appeasing way. Her admission about the lack of shagging seemed to have set him right. "I knew it always bothered you, so if you think I haven't noticed then you're wrong. Look, Lily you're perfect. In every single way you are perfect and I need you. We can fix things."
Did he think he was making it better?
"So much worse." She gasped out.
Why couldn't she breathe? Her head felt as light as a balloon getting ready to fly away.
He had known and chose to ignore her unhappiness because it was easier for him. She had let him.
It really was pathetic.
"Why are you acting this way?" He was back to shouting since he hadn't had any luck with settling the situation in a pleasant way. "This isn't like you!"
She heard cruel laughter from behind Sirius and looked around the room for the first time since she had lost her breath.
Black spots penetrated her vision but she could still make out the faces of Kat, Remus, Marley, Honor, Peter, and of course, James.
They had obviously been drawn by the noise and for the most part it seemed they had kept away the other party guests, but stragglers could be seen peeking around doors and through the windows.
Sirius had snapped around at the laughter. His usually perfect hair looked disheveled and unkempt. She had never noticed how coarse the texture appeared.
"What!" Sirius spat at James who been the one who laughed.
James, however, looked shocked by his own behavior as he could only shrug helplessly in return.
She had never seen James look anything but completely certain and despite her uncontrollable gasping, she let out a wheezing laugh.
How could she ever forget that under the charm and playfulness that Sirius was a Black?
It never made sense to her that this smiling boy could be related to that rigid family. But when he turned on her she had never seen anyone look as scary as he did.
He grabbed her by the arms so tightly they would surely bruise.
"What is wrong with you?" The volume of his voice shot to her core. She was shaking and she didn't know if it was from fear or because she was about to pass out.
She couldn't speak for both reasons nonetheless, and just as before-Sirius' anger was spiked by her silence. With a tremendous heave he shook her as if that would force out some sense.
Her already spotty vision was almost faded to black, but she could still make out Sirius being forcibly removed from his spot in front of her.
"For Merlin's sake, Sirius, can't you see she's having a fit or something?" Remus didn't sound like the nice guy she knew. He sounded strong and looked it too, as he dragged away his friend. For Sirius's part, he didn't put up a fight.
James and Kat stared down at her threw a narrow tunnel in her vision.
When had she sat down? She felt drunk, but that couldn't be true. She'd only had three shots.
Kat and James could have been siblings with their matching black hair. They were beautiful, but when Kat reached out to help her, she was turning to James instead.
Nothing made sense at all as the black finally took her and she went limp in his arms.
It wasn't like being asleep though. She could hear sounds and voices and feel some movement. Eventually the world became shapes again and she could breathe.
"Kat says you had a panic attack or hyperventilated or something." James stood across the room from her.
It was a nice room populated by just the two of them. Judging by the quidditch posters, it was his room.
She sat up when she could and even though the room spun slightly she felt almost normal again.
"Better?" He came to sit beside her. Their legs dangled off the side of the bed just as they had done earlier in the summer by the pool.
She preferred sitting side by side with him. This way she didn't have to look into his eyes and experience the horrible flip.
"Loads." She spoke truthfully even though her voice was weak. "Where is Kat?"
"Helping Remus, Peter, and the house elfs put the house straight." The party was over. He stared at his hands. She had the urge to feel the texture of his skin, but thankfully resisted. "She was worried about you."
"I think you and Baker might be the only people who aren't." She admitted. When she thought of Baker she couldn't stop from pulling at her hair. Oddly it seemed a shorter like it was mourning his loss as well. "Sirius might try to have me committed."
She wanted him to laugh at her joke, but he remained thoughtful. "You need to talk to him… calmly."
"Right. No more fits." She tried to smile, but she would bet it looked wrong. It sure didn't feel right. She needed to reassure herself. "I do love him, you know?"
She could feel him looking at her, but she wasn't prepared for the feeling again and kept her gaze forward.
He spoke despite her refusing to look back at him. "When are you going to stop giving love and understand that it is just as important to let someone love you?"
It sounded so easy. It wasn't though and she knew that first hand.
How could she spend a lifetime trying to be someone everyone would love, only to realize that it was useless? It wasn't love if she wasn't real. It was like fake gold. She could have it, but it was worthless. It didn't mean anything.
"Could he love me if I quit being the girl he's always known?" If anyone could answer this question correctly it would be James. He knew Sirius the best.
He shrugged and she risked a glance at him. "Sirius has a way of surprising us all."
It seemed like there was something he wasn't saying, but she let it go. She would think about James some other time.
They left the room and he led her outside to where Sirius sat on a bench.
"I'm really sorry." She could tell that he meant it. She sat beside him, their arms gently touching on the quaint bench. "I lost my temper."
She tried to give him a reassuring face. He was back to looking like her boyfriend again, but somehow that made things harder. "I'm sorry too. I haven't been the model girlfriend this summer."
"What's wrong, Lily?" He asked her softly. His grey eyes were concerned. "I know I should have made things better for you, but you were always so willing to make things easier for me. Everything else is so hard in my life and with you things are just so easy."
She couldn't disagree. Her entire life had been about making things easy for everyone else, and all she ended up with was an impossible journey for herself.
"I don't think we can be together anymore, Sirius."
"What?" He was shocked. It read all over his elegant face. "You don't love me anymore because I didn't tell you what I was doing when I disappeared? It wasn't my secret to tell!"
"It's not about that. You were so content to let me be unhappy, as long as things were easy for you, Sirius. It's not about me loving you… You never loved me." The anger pricked at her again, but it wasn't time for that though. She owed him a proper goodbye. "If you had loved me you would have found a way. You would have made it better for me. I was hiding my real self to make everybody around me happy, desperately hoping to be loved. If you hadn't known then maybe we could have made it, but that's the thing, Sirius. You knew and you never even tried."
He looked puzzled and his voice had a desperate edge as he spoke. "You can't blame me when you never gave me the opportunity. I loved you for being the only things you gave me to love. That was the only thing I knew."
"You're right and maybe I should give you the opportunity to love me for who I really am, but it doesn't change the fact that I was broken and you couldn't see it." She wondered if she would allow herself to cry now.
"Because you never showed me!" His face was red and eyes panicked like it had never even occurred to him that he wouldn't be able to fix this.
"No, because you never took the time to look." She spoke calmly taking his hand in hers. She never meant to make him sad.
In the end no matter who she was, she knew that she would never be someone who enjoyed other people's pain. She just didn't have it in her. Sometimes causing pain was unavoidable like now, but she would never be able to take pleasure in it.
The taste of salt lingered in her mouth, giving him one final kiss and she left him sitting there as she walked into the night.
It was time to go home.
She wondered if she was crying or it was him, but she never turned around to check.
The trip home felt longer without Baker to distract her, and she took her time wandering down the alley for a bit.
This really was goodbye.
She didn't cry though. She took her time taking off her perfect dress and folded the fabric neatly into her trunk the muggle way. She set out her school clothes and robes for tomorrow, taking time to pin the Head Girl badge onto her robe.
There were no more tomorrows to put off her feelings anymore. Tomorrow was a reality.
It was finally time to cry.
So she did. She cried softly letting the tears roll down her face and onto her pillow. She cried because she couldn't hide anymore. She cried for Baker, and Sirius, and her parents, and Petunia, and most of all she cried for James Potter.
Because he had seen her when she thought she was invisible.
And when the tears finally stopped with no sentimental farewell, she wiped her face, rolled over, and went to sleep.
September First was as sunny a day that London would ever see.
Lily got ready with a certain air of finality. Her clothes were laundered and crisp. Her trunk was full and she placed it by the door so she could grab it easily when she came back.
She had one last errand to run before she headed to the train station. Checking her badge was straight one last time, she entered the menagerie.
It was quiet and Eeylops must have been lurking near the owls because she didn't see him.
When she caught her reflection in the mirror behind the counter it stopped her in her tracks.
It was Lily Evans.
Her auburn hair had lightened to its natural tone and full curls fanned around her face. With no emotion she pulled at a curl hoping to appreciate its bounce.
"It seems the old Ms. Evans is back." It was Mr. Price who spoke. He stood behind her and his smiling face was reflected back at her through the mirror. "A Head Girl, too."
"Lily." She smiled and turned away from her reflection to give him a hug. "You can call me Lily."
"The summer has been good to you." She couldn't tell if he was asking or telling so she nodded.
"It's good to have you back, Mr. Price. I can honestly say things haven't been the same without you."
He chuckled with her. "It seems I've returned just in time. Mr. Eeylops has decided to open an owlery right here in Diagon Alley. I came in today to pick up his notice. He'll be leaving at the end of the week."
It would figure that Eeylops would leave when she wasn't forced to see him anymore. He probably did it on purpose.
"I wanted to thank you, Mr. Price. By letting me rent the flat, you gave me something much bigger than you'll ever know." She hugged him again.
He had the kindest smile. He was a very small man to have such a big heart. "Ms. Evans as you assured me, you are both a woman of your word and a very good Gryffindor. I must thank you as well for your assistance when I was incapacitated."
They hugged one last time and Lily had to rush out to make it to The Leaky Cauldron on time. She had to pick up her last bit of gold from Tom. It was the money that was going to buy Harvey.
Tom was behind the bar as always. He poured a drink for a witch and for once he actually smiled which made him look ten years younger at least. He might have been handsome once if the bar hadn't sunk into the very depths of his soul.
As easy as it would be to stay here forever as a barmaid, it would never really be Lily.
It would just be one more way to hide, like trading one disguise in for another.
It made her sad for herself and sad for Tom. Was it a disguise for him?
"I thought you'd forgotten and I wasn't going to have to pay you." He admitted disgruntled.
"Sorry." She said offering him a weak smile.
He growled something else that Lily didn't catch and she followed him down the bar to where he kept the gold.
"Did you ever find whatever it was you were looking for?" He didn't look at her when he asked, instead focusing on the wages he counted out with his hands.
She started to ask him what he was talking about, but she had worked in the bar all summer. She had seen it in people loads of times. She could just sense there was something missing.
Tom had sensed it in her, it seemed.
"Well, I found a lot of what I'm not looking for and what I'm not anymore." She admitted.
"Sometimes that's the first step, Pepper."
She liked the way that sounded.
Maybe, it was true.
Wrong turns didn't mean a wasted journey; they just meant you could appreciate the right way even more when you found it.
After he handed her the gold, she thanked him and began to walk away before his voice stopped her.
"Did you ever wonder why I called you Pepper?"
"I was under the impression you actually thought that was my name." She told him with a laugh.
He sent her a half glare before speaking again. "It was because of that awful dress you wore in here the first night. I thought to myself 'any girl who has the guts to wear something that awful must be a little spitfire' and I was right you are as spicy as any pepper."
With a great laugh she left The Leaky Cauldron.
She was running exceptionally late and had to jog all the way back to Magical Menagerie almost knocking over a young girl exiting the shop with a small box that was used for smaller animals.
She rushed to Harvey's cage and went to scoop him out.
He was gone.
"Mr. Price?" She called out into the empty shop.
Heavy, unstable footsteps signaled Eeylops coming through the store but she would never be prepared for the horrible squawk of a voice. "What do yer want?"
"Where's Mr. Price? I wanted to buy the little green turtle that's been here all summer." She felt slightly panicked. She had saved all summer. It couldn't be too late.
"All the turtles are gone." She could feel him taking pleasure from her panic. "Little girl just bought the last one. She almost didn't want it- said the color was wrong, but I talked her into it."
If she had even two minutes to spare she would have cursed him silly, but she didn't so she promised herself to be sad about Harvey later.
Rushing to the front of the store she stared into the box of kittens. She wanted something to take with her. She needed a reminder. She liked the kittens too and they were slightly less expensive than the turtles.
With no time to spare she reached into box and pulled out a turquoise one. It mewed sweetly at her.
She was about to take it, when she spotted the smallest kitten in the box. Unlike the others vying for attention, the little thing was sleeping. It reminded her of Harvey.
She scooped the sleeping kitten up, but she didn't even have time to admire its perfect Gryffindor gold color.
She paid and dropped the still sleeping kitten into the deep pocket of her robe. In a flash she had her trunk from upstairs and shrunk it down.
Lily apparated into an alley across from the station. She didn't even get to look at her flat one last time.
Hurrying through the crowds she truly thought she wouldn't make it, so when she burst onto the platform she felt a pleased jolt shoot through at the sight of the crimson train.
It had already started moving when she jumped onto it. Finding the luggage cart she left her normal sized trunk there with her robe inside after she had collected her kitten and badge. It was too hot for a robe.
The kitten eyed Lily sleepily when she pulled her out, but she didn't have time to get to know her new pet yet. Shoving her badge into her pocket, she hurried off to the prefect compartment.
Out of breathe she collapsed into an open seat. She was happy to note she wasn't the very last person to arrive. One other student darted in after her.
"I guess we should begin then?" James asked the room awkwardly.
Wait- James? He wasn't a Prefect.
"I'm the Head Boy this year, it seems." He continued looking around at the other faces of the room. He sat at the head of the compartment with an empty seat beside him. She supposed the other seat was for Head Girl. "Should we wait for the Head Girl to arrive?"
The aimless vibe of the room set the Prefects on edge. These students valued structure.
It was rather unorthodox for a non-Prefect to become Head Boy. He didn't know how things worked like the other experienced Prefects did.
Everyone stared at the other faces in the room expectantly. All of their Prefect badges seemed to scream at Lily and she caught Remus staring at the empty space where hers should have been.
Honor Simmons was the only other person who seemed to make the same assessment of Lily's missing badge and she did so with a scowl that made her pretty face look nothing like Baker's.
"Oh." Lily realized and spoke guiltily as if she might be confessing a crime. "That's me."
Shuffling her golden kitten to the side, she dug in her pocket for the badge. Setting it on the table she made no move to take the seat beside James.
She was perfectly comfortable exactly where she was. The only problem now was that everyone was staring at her instead of James. And even he was focused on her.
The new Prefects sat eager in their seats, faces shinning with anticipation of all the secrets and privileges they were convinced would be presented to them as soon as the Head students began to speak.
Two years ago, Lily had been an overeager 5th year nearly falling off her seat to be as close as possible to the actions that were about to unfold.
The Head Girl that year had the longest brown hair that Lily had ever seen. Her name was Camille Collins and Lily had done everything she could to be like the Head Girl. She had her mother owl her Petunia's old reading glasses that only looked like Camille's stylish spectacles in color, but Lily had proudly worn them for a week until Madame Ward, the school matron, had thrown them away. She said they were destroying Lily's vision and depleting her stash of headache potion.
Lily couldn't remember a single thing about Camille Collins' run as Head Girl.
She could only think of the way her pretty face had sneered whenever she saw Lily. The Head Girl had never been out rightly rude to her, but eventually Lily began to notice the glares and constant assignments to the worst tasks. It had been traumatizing for the girl she idolized to dislike her so much and to this day Lily had never known why.
She wondered what these Prefects would remember about her.
She should say something inspiring and motivating. She should tell them it was an honor to be chosen to represent the school and that no matter what they accomplished from that point forward or if they were chosen as Head Students, that they should be able to look back at this moment as something to be proud of.
It didn't feel like an honor to Lily at the moment though. It just felt like the most established, hard working students of Hogwarts were staring at her like she knew what she was doing.
She wanted to tell them she didn't have any answers and that she was just growing up like they were.
Instead she told them the basic duties of being a Prefect. She spoke like she was reading a script taken from Hogwarts, A History.
Her speech was no more worthy of being remembered than Camille Collins'.
She just hoped none of them charmed their hair red or anything. She eyed a heavy blonde that copied every word spoken at the meeting. She'd have to keep an eye on that one.
When the meeting had wrapped up, Lily hurried out tucking her badge in her pocket and securely cradled the kitten in her arm.
Her eccentric blonde dorm mate was waiting outside.
"Oh." Evie pouted taking in Lily's appearance. "You're the same."
"That's very sweet, Ev." Lily's eyes were heavy, but she wasn't sleepy. Life was wearing her down.
"I only meant-." Her friend's blue eyes never dimmed as she linked her fingers through Lily's pulling her along the corridor. "I returned barely ten minutes before the train departed and I've heard more about your miraculous makeover than about Kat's horrible baby sister."
"Must have been radical if it could get Kat to quit talking about herself for five minutes."
Evie paused half a step with a quick shocked glance towards Lily, but otherwise remained cheerfully consistent. She was careful not to leave any space for Lily to speak at all until they stood in front of the door to a compartment.
Lily registered her mistake only after she jerked away from the window an instant too late.
"Lovely?" Evie questioned her cheerfully.
Evie had come to bring her to the compartment that held their friends- ALL of their friends. This included the boyfriend that Lily had broken up with the night before.
She looked like a scared doe bracing herself against the wall with wide eyes. "Did they see me?"
Evie's crazy smile was unfaltering. "Certainly."
It would only make things worse to run away now. She should face this head on. The new Lily would not be a coward.
"Alright then." She straightened her back and tried to run a hand through her hair only to realize it was no longer smooth. Her fingers yanked uncomfortably through the twisting curls, pulling her hair painfully.
Evie led them inside and Lily followed trying to look calm.
She tried a reassuring squeeze of her kitten, but the gold creature scratched her hand in retaliation.
Lily was convinced if she had Harvey to look down at she could have handled this better. He always used to make her feel content and peaceful.
"We thought you'd forgotten your way, Ev. James and Remus even beat you." Kat's words were friendly, but her eyes suspicious as if she suspected Lily had to be dragged kicking and screaming.
It was true. James sat closest to the window with Sirius and Peter filling up the rest of space. Remus and Kat sat across from them and they didn't seem to mind one bit having to squeeze close to one another making room for Evie and Lily.
Once seated there was a tense silence that Lily tried to ease by petting her new pet. The action was met again by resistance. This time it was a bite.
"Bugger!" Lily couldn't help but exclaim sticking the pricked finger in her mouth.
Once she had drawn attention to her golden pet Evie and Kat took turns cooing at her.
"What's her name?" Evie asked trying to coerce the stubborn cat into her lap.
The cat however remained resolutely in Lily's possession staring curiously at the others. Lily didn't try to touch her again for fear of another injury. "Aurora is the only thing I've even considered."
"Oh, because she's gold!" Kat grinned proudly at her quick connection. "Clever and a pretty name."
Lily glanced down at the kitten who stared right back at her.
Aurora's eyes were very green. If Lily had to guess she would say they were a remarkably close color to her own noticeable eyes.
"Not a bit friendly, though, is she?" Evie seemed equally charmed by this development.
Aurora took a swipe at Evie's hand which had settled too close for the kitten's liking.
Lily missed Harvey. He would have charmed all of her friends, unlike this little monster who seemed intent on doing everyone harm.
The conversation turned and the girls and Remus began discussing a series of attacks on muggles that had happened during break.
The distraction gave her time to look at Sirius for the first time.
He looked as handsome as ever. She hadn't noticed the night before how long his hair had grown and she felt a pang knowing how she always told him she loved it when his hair fell into his eyes. Had he grown it out for her?
An abundance of guilt began to fill her and she searched for the anger that was making this day so much easier to deal with.
As long as she could remembered their slights then she could get through this.
If he had grown it out it was because he thought it looked best that way. He had never done anything before with the sole intentions of pleasing her so there was no reason for him to have started.
She refused to romanticize him.
But why did he have to be so deliciously attractive? It wasn't fair the things he could do with his lips…or fingers.
"So who was the lucky Head Girl, James?" As if her staring at him had called him to speak, Sirius questioned his best mate. There was an edge to his voice almost like he was taking sinister joy in the question.
James looked unsure, his hazel eyes darting to Lily's questioningly.
She had forgotten again. "Me."
Lily had captured everyone's unwanted attention once again. She really wasn't looking forward to making a habit of it.
"Where's your badge then?" Sirius asked bitterness lacing his voice.
He had thought she wasn't selected and wanted to rub it in her face.
So that was how it was going to be. Sirius Black would be playing the role of jilted ex while she would be starring as the evil bitch.
"I have it." She responded vaguely.
No one added anything to this line of questioning and Evie and Kat stared at their laps. Lily was already growing tired of their bazaar behavior. She knew they had to have something to say.
"Congratulations." Remus spoke eventually, but with sincerity.
Peter gave her a genuine grin that she couldn't help but return. "I'll bet you're the best Head Girl Hogwarts' has seen in a century."
Without another word about her new position, conversation was directed towards everyone's summers.
Kat had plenty to say about her infant sister who she called Monster, but let it slip her actual name was Medina. Calling her Monster was actually one of the nicer things Kat had to say and the group laughed easily at Kat's exaggerated distaste.
Surprising absolutely no one, Evie had collected some type of lover who was on the older side. Lily noticed she didn't specify much about him including just how much older, but Evie did seem to authentically care for this bloke.
The boys took their turns sharing summer stories, but whenever Lily would begin to speak someone would cut her off. She would have liked to tell them about Baker, or her time at The Leaky Cauldron, or maybe even about the hated Mr. Eeylops, but they didn't want to hear.
Lily was resigned to silence by the time she entered the Great Hall.
She shouldn't have worried so much about people rejecting her- they hadn't even given her a chance to disappoint them.
Honor was waving them over, having already wedged herself into prime seats at the Gryffindor table. The others piled into seats with Sirius taking up his normal spot and Honor placing herself to his right.
Honor usually split her time sitting at the Gryffindor table sometimes, but spending the majority of her meals at her own, Ravenclaw table.
It quickly became apparent that the kindness Honor bestowed hadn't been presented to Lily. There were only enough seats for the rest of them leaving Lily to watch her previous spot be swallowed up.
Despite Honor's less than impressive reputation she was still a Ravenclaw and she was smart- certainly intelligent enough to save the proper amount of seats for the whole group.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Lovely." Honor would've looked sincere despite her muddy green eyes which sparkled exactly like Baker's did when he was being mischievous. "I just thought because of recent developments…."
"Actually that's kind of perfect." Lily declared with a cheeky smile.
She couldn't stand one more second of their terrible forced silence. She didn't even bother to explain further as she turned and headed down the table hoping to find an available spot.
She ended up by a nervous group of fourth years, who were nothing more than paranoid by the older student's presence. She recognized one as Ruby Green, the Gryffindor Seeker, but the rest were nameless to her.
The evening commenced and she and James were announced as Head Students. This seemed to only make the fourth years more nervous and she was seriously regretting not picking a completely isolated spot.
Lily's only amusement came from Aurora who pounced onto the table and sauntered around Lily's plate, helping herself to whatever food she wanted.
"Oh, how charming!" Ruby exclaimed, the tips of her plaits resting on the table.
"Not especially." Lily smiled and snatched up her devious little kitten before she could make a toy out of the Seeker's hair.
When dinner was over, Lily sought out Professor McGonagall. James was already there looking attentive and all together very un-James like.
McGonagall glared at the spot where Lily's badge should have been displayed and the fuzzy kitten tucked into her arm.
"See the first years to their dorms and we will meet here when you have finished." The Professor was just as severe as her hair.
The task turned out to be equivalent to taming a hippogriff with crying little girls and teasing little boys.
Aurora looked pleased with Lily's wrecked appearance as she purred happily in the crook of her owner's elbow.
James hadn't faired any better. His already messy hair could have been nesting birds and the clothes that had hung so precisely earlier were now un-tucked and wrinkled.
Then he had the audacity to laugh at Lily's appearance.
She glared in return.
"I trust it went smoothly?" Their Head of House asked stepping out of the empty Great Hall.
The both nodded tiredly.
"This way." Professor McGonagall turned briskly and headed towards the Faculty Dorms without waiting for them to follow.
James and Lily lagged behind her. Their youthful legs burned from all the exertion.
The older woman had stamina.
The walk went on and on, passing random paintings of fruit and spirited suits-of-honor, before they came to a mirror that ran the height of the wall. It was only wide enough for McGonagall to stand in front of alone and she did so with no emotion in her face or stance.
As Lily watched, McGonagall's reflection began to speak and the voice came from the mirror and not the actual person. "State your business."
"I am Minerva McGonagall and it is my duty to show the new Head Boy and Girl to their suites." Professor McGonagall replied to her reflection which stared back unmoving.
"You speak the truth." The reflection agreed and Lily watched as McGonagall stepped forward to meet her reflection and then disappear into mirror in the same way you would enter Platform 9 ¾.
Lily felt a bit mad as she stepped in front of the mirror and watched her reflection speak to her when she knew very well that her own lips were not moving. "State your business."
"I am Head Girl and I am here with Professor McGonagall." Lily tried to phrase her sentence the same as McGonagall had.
Lily's reflection studied her which only added to the surreal effect. "You speak the truth."
She stepped into the mirror and was only met with a cool chill where the glass should have been.
"Wicked." She smiled into the dim stairwell that led upward.
There were only a dozen or so steps before she entered a wide room. It was a comforting cream color where the walls of the huge room were not covered with book shelves.
The door entered more or less the center of the room with a monstrous mahogany desk to the left. The desk was double sided with opposite ends sloping into a personal area already set with school supplies for the both of them.
"This'll do." James spoke coming to stand beside her.
While Lily was more distracted by the bookshelves that covered every wall, James was taking in the oversized couches that were directed towards a beautiful fireplace. Everything was twice the size of the normal furnishings they were accustomed to. It made everything seem grander.
"I'm glad you could join us, Mr. Potter." Professor McGonagall snapped them out of their reverie.
The Head Boy shuffled his feet and smiled in the only way that showed off his dimples. "I had a bit of trouble with the wording."
"If you speak the truth as to your intentions and identity then you shall always be allowed to enter." She explained. "If it is anyone other than the Head students entering then they will need to be specifically invited. If they lie about said invitation they will not be granted access. Prefects are the only other students allowed entrance without specified invitation for Prefect meetings and the same rules apply to them all other times. No type of magic can fool the mirror."
"I need to tell the reflection my business every time I enter?" He sounded put-off by the idea.
"The room recognizes you as Head Boy and Girl now. All that will be required is you to truthfully speak your name."
Lily took all of this in, letting her mind wander into the year ahead of them that this room would witness.
Aurora, apparently bored, clawed at Lily's hand and pranced off when Lily dropped the creature to the floor with little care.
James smirked at her and it caused Lily slight confusion of who she wanted to scowl at more; the unfortunately attractive Head Boy or the evil kitten that had tricked her into buying it.
"As you can see you have everything necessary to have a successful year as Head students." McGonagall gestured around the room. "The book cases are filled with a rare collection of books, some that can be found in Hogwarts' library and some that cannot. There is a sitting area which I'm sure will be used for civil socializing on the rare occasion you find the time, and never for anything frivolous or inappropriate. Since Prefect meetings will now be held in the suite, you will notice there are exactly twenty-five seats at the table. Normally, we have only twenty-four due to the Head Boy being selected from the Prefects, but with the circumstances this year a seat was added."
The long table was situated behind the sitting area.
A chair sat alone on each end for the Head Boy and Girl almost as if they were bookends. Twelve chairs faced the front of the room, while eleven stared back at them.
"Ms. Evans, I am sure as Head Girl you took the time to read over the rules and regulations of the school. You should be well versed in the knowledge that only one pet is allowed per student. You appear to have collected two over holiday."
Lily had quit listening as she soon as spotted the previously unnoticed aquarium on the long table. It was quaint and nothing fancy to it, but it would be perfect for a Knut sized turtle.
Harvey was currently enjoying his new environment with a nap right under the magically enhanced sun. He seemed a bit paler than Lily would have liked but she was sure she could get him to feeling better in no time.
He had already lightened her heart by a load.
"He arrived earlier with a note addressed to you." McGonagall handed her the letter. "However, not even the Head Girl is allowed to break the rules."
"The cat's mine, Professor." James lied easily and somehow he had commandeered the petite monster into his arms. "Mum surprised me with a going away present."
McGonagall didn't seem to care whether this was truth because she gave them a curt nod and encouraged them to explore before exiting their suite with the same brisk fashion she had entered it with.
"I would have just as soon returned the little devil." Lily informed him.
He brushed her off cooing at Aurora sweetly. The golden kitten in return purred happily against him. "Don't blame the little bloke for hating someone who's named him Aurora."
"A bloke? Aurora's a boy? How do you know?"
He showed her.
"Bloody hell!" Lily exclaimed. She had just assumed the cute little thing was a girl. "I guess Aurora really isn't a fitting name at all. Shame too, because I thought it was rather clever."
James launched himself onto the fluffiest couch as he admired the cat. "He's definitely gold."
Damn it to hell! Stupid James Potter studying that the bleeding little cat was making her stomach sick again. She didn't think she could make it through the entire year of it.
He's hands looked so strong nestling the scrawny kitten.
"I'd say…" He held ex-Aurora up into the flickering light of the fire. "As gold as any Snitch."
"I should have known you would find a way to name my kitten after something Quidditch related." She scoffed.
"I like it." He proclaimed proudly. "And I would say Snitch is at least half my cat now. I did claim him and name him, it seems."
"He can be all you cat." Lily replied.
Snitch didn't like that at all though as he pranced over to her edge of the couch and climbed onto her shoulder.
Lily's heart actually warmed a little to the kitten, but that was before he took a clean swipe at her cheek.
James nearly fell off the couch in a fit of laughter. Lily was happy they were teaming up against her so nicely.
"Adorable." She said dryly as she tossed a hissing Snitch into James' lap.
Lily caught sight of a window on the back wall situated in the space between the desk area and the long table.
It ran vertically and was wide enough for her to view the courtyard beyond. Without hesitation she went to the door that sat to the right of the window and entered into what she was sure was going to be her favorite part of the Head Suites.
The courtyard was surrounded on all four sides by brick walls, but if she looked up she could see twinkling stars overhead.
She noticed the temperature was more comfortable than the night air she left when she entered the castle and she wondered what type of charms protected the area.
A square fountain soothed the atmosphere with the natural lullaby that water produced as it cascaded down from a statuesque mermaid's hands. If she wanted to she could have laid in the fountain and spread her arms out never touching the sides.
The courtyard was filled with the scent of fresh water and Lily closed her eyes letting the serenity wash over her.
She let her feet lead her around the perimeter of the stone fountain noticing that while most of the ground was covered by smooth looking stones there was a patch of grass so healthy and plush she had to resist pulling her shoes off and letting it hug her toes.
When she finally reentered the suite she felt light and relaxed. James was unseen but the door further to the left of the back wall behind the desks was open.
Scooping up Harvey in his new home she went to the only remaining unopened door.
Her room, for all the other marvels of the suite, seemed as normal as her dorm.
It was larger than her room at home, the one that burned down, and she figured that the bed was slightly bigger than the one from her dorm, but mostly it just felt comfortable. There was a bookshelf taking up almost an entire wall except for the door she had just entered.
Vainly she was thrilled at the simple vanity on the opposite wall.
Countless mornings of Lily's childhood were spent watching her mother carefully perform all the tasks that made her a woman, in her young daughter's eyes. Pink lipstick and sweet perfumes were organized with care and strictly off limits to Lily and Petunia. Lily could have her own now.
She checked the wardrobe and even though it was perfectly average she felt a thrill of not having to live out of her trunk like she done the entire summer.
It wouldn't be Hogwarts if her trunk didn't sit at the foot of her bed and she smiled at the familiarity of it all.
The only other notable things in the room were the window with a cushioned seat that ran its length and the door which she assumed led to the bathroom.
As always with Hogwarts, she was sure there was more to discover, but it was late and she was exhausted.
Had it only been this morning that she awoke in her dingy loft?
It felt like years.
Harvey was happily placed on the table beside her bed and once she was tucked into her night clothes and in bed, she closed her eyes and she could swear her heart almost sang with content.
125370000
I don't know if anyone's noticed or maybe I'm just really bad at leaving clues, but I make lots of references to things from the books.
I'd love to know if anyone has caught any…
I also never write anything or create a character without them having a specific purpose. For instance, the clichéd Head Suites. They play an important role and also have an interesting explanation for their appearance that comes later.
All I can hope is that anyone who sticks by my story will be pleasantly surprised with how I work some surprising things into the overall cannon world.
It would really make my day to hear from anyone still interested in my story after such a long break…So leave a review if you've got a minute or have something to say. Even a "Glad you updated" is appreciated.
Last chapters question was the first movie that ever made me cry. My answer would be Tuck Everlasting. I wish I could say something cooler, but that's the truth.
1 What is the most random place (state, city, country) you've ever visited?