I CAN'T WITH HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS, seriously they make me smile so big. I creep on all of your pages and have read the stories written by some of you who review, and you're all so talented so it makes me tear up because you're actually taking the time to read this story! Okay, sappiness over, story time!
After what seemed like an eternity, Shelby finally willed herself to move. She didn't want to make a big deal out of Rachel using 'the m-word' because she loved hearing it and didn't want the girl thinking she didn't. It brought goose bumps to her arms, just the same as it did the first time the name was said: the day she made Rachel's Lady Gaga outfit.
God, what a bittersweet day that had been. Shelby knew that she should leave the girl's life and let her be happy with her two loving dads, but here was her baby standing in front of her asking for help; needing her help. In the end, she allowed herself to make the outfit even though she felt so selfish for confusing Rachel.
Shelby caught up to Rachel, who was flushed herself due to the slip up. It's not that she minded calling Shelby 'mom', she just didn't know how the former glee coach felt about it. She remembered feeling so embarrassed doing it the first time all those years ago. She realized how psychotic she must have sounded, calling a woman she just met 'mom' after only meeting her once. Truthfully, how she would address Shelby would be something to talk about later, but it could wait for another day. Walls still needed to be torn down, and trust that the older woman was not walking away this time needed to be established.
They made their way out of the theater, and onto Broadway. New York City had a bad reputation to be dangerous late at night, but honestly there were so many people and lights around that acted as a security blanket, especially in Time's Square, that neither of the women felt uncomfortable. Regardless, Rachel absentmindedly grabbed her mother's hand as they walked. Of course she had her insecurities about the legitimacy of this newfound relationship, but they weren't on bad terms. The last time she saw her mother, they didn't leave on a bad note. She really did love Shelby and wanted to make up for lost times, even if it meant doing something as childish as holding her mother's hand.
Shelby could have cried tears of relief at such a simple act. She gave Rachel's hand a squeeze of reassurance. This was yet another glimpse of how things could have been if she had been able to raise her baby girl from the beginning. "Where to?" Shelby asked with a teary-eyed expression.
"I don't care," Rachel shrugged. " Anywhere is fine with me. I know an ice cream place a few blocks down that's close to my apartment. It's open 24 hours."
"That sounds good to me," Shelby replied.
A few moments of comfortable silence passed until Rachel finally broke it. "I used to be a vegan, you know," she stated, not exactly knowing where the randomness of the statement came from. "From the time I was in grade school up until last year I wouldn't even eat ice cream unless it was vegan."
Shelby chuckled, "you definitely didn't get that from me."
Rachel beamed a smile back at her mother. She loved learning about her genetics and where her personality, habits, and beliefs came from. It was nice to have the final piece of the gene puzzle standing right next to her. "It's not that I don't care about the poor animals anymore, I do, but I was losing a bunch of weight and the doctor said I needed to make changes in my diet to be healthy. I still don't eat meat, but I'm on all of these supplements and it's really annoying. It's worth it though."
"It's great that you're so passionate about it. You're a very passionate person in general, it's one of the things I love most about you," Shelby stated, causing her daughter to smile yet again. A sigh escaped Shelby's mouth. "New York is beautiful." She scanned her surroundings at all of the flashing lights, and tall buildings. It never got old.
"It's the only place that truly feels like home," Rachel agreed. "How come you left before and came back to Ohio? Was it money?"
"To be honest, my heart wasn't with Broadway anymore…as much as I wanted to be a star, my heart was with you. It always has been since you started growing inside me. I wanted to keep you so badly, but I knew I couldn't, so my new goal was to make a family of my own in Ohio where I could also be close to you…but then there were some complications, and it's a long story that I'd love to share with you one day," Shelby explained as they reached the door of the ice cream shop.
Rachel could tell there was something deeper to the story than her mother was letting on, so she didn't press the issue. Instead she dropped Shelby's hand and opened the door getting in line. Both ordered and Shelby slapped her debit card on the counter before Rachel could pay for hers. "Are you sure?" Rachel asked.
"I insist."
"Thank you," Rachel replied graciously as they took their ice cream to a table. There were a few people in the shop, but not many, as it was well after midnight. "Shelby, that's so gross."
"What?" Shelby laughed as Rachel glared at her mother's ice cream with a scrunched up, disgusted face. "It's pistachio."
"It's green."
Shelby groaned, teasingly. "Just try it." She scooped up a spoonful and handed it to Rachel.
The smaller girl hesitantly took the spoon from her mother's hand and brought it to her nose to smell before even considering tasting it. Finally, she brought the spoon to her opened lips and allowed herself to swallow the cold treat. "Okay this is amazing," she announced before digging the spoon back in for another bite.
"Alright, you can take my ice cream but at least give me my spoon back," Shelby playfully whined.
Rachel blushed and handed the spoon back to her mother. "Sorry, sorry, I just never get anything other than cookie dough because it's so good that I could never imagine anything being better! But this is better."
Shelby couldn't help but smile at her daughter's adorable rambling. "It's fine, baby, really. Take more, I won't eat all of this."
The little diva happily took Shelby up on the offer. "This is so fun," she mumbled, mouth full of ice cream.
"Ice cream?" Shelby questioned.
"No, I mean hanging out with you," Rachel shyly stated. "I like hanging out with you."
Shelby's eyes welled with tears for what seemed like the millionth time in 24 hours. "Well I'll always be around to hang out as long as you want me."
Rachel seemed satisfied with this answer. "So how's Broadway daycare?"
"It's rewarding. Kids can be really shy and insecure, and it helps to build their confidence. Especially kids around Beth's age are really eager to impress and make you happy so while their attention spans aren't as good as the older kids' during songs or acting exercises, they give it their all."
"That sounds amazing," Rachel replied, intrigued. "I wish I had something like that when I was younger. Then again, I was so busy with dance and vocal lessons anyway…"
"I'm glad you had all of those opportunities when you were younger," the ex-glee coach said looking down at her ice cream that was almost gone. "You have great dads who go above and beyond. That's why I always thought you didn't need me. How could you want more?" Shelby felt so insecure about the situation. Her natural instinct was to push, but she didn't want to this time.
Rachel took her mother's hand in her own. "Stop beating yourself up, Shelby. There's a place for you too. You're important."
Shelby gave Rachel's hand a squeeze before taking the last bite of her ice cream. "That means a lot, baby girl. Thank you. You're too forgiving…on another note, you should stop by the daycare sometime. The kids would love to meet you, and you could see what it's all about."
"I'd love to!" Rachel replied finishing her own ice cream. "We should probably get going though. As much as I love this, I have two shows tomorrow…"
"Of course. I can walk you home and then catch a cab back to my place if that's okay with you. I don't want you to walk by yourself this late."
"That's fine," the younger girl replied getting up to throw her cup away with Shelby close behind. "You'll be okay going home by yourself?"
"Yeah, the cab can pull right up to my apartment building, and it's well lit. I had to look into those safety precautions being a single mother in New York City."
They walked out the door and Shelby followed Rachel around the corner to an apartment building that didn't look like it was made for Broadway's biggest star. Surely the girl could afford something better than this. It wasn't bad, and looked much like Shelby's first apartment in NYC but it was in a dark, sketchy area, and that worried her. "Do you live alone?"
"Yeah," Rachel replied. "I'm looking to move once my lease is over in two months and my contract is expired. I used to live with Kurt and Santana but they moved out and are kind of doing their own thing. It gets lonely, but it's been home and it's temporary."
Shelby wanted nothing more than to insist Rachel move in with her until the lease was over, but she was lucky enough to get her daughter to agree to meet with her. She didn't want to overstep more than she probably already was. It could potentially be something to bring up, but not now.
"Thank you so much for meeting with me, Rachel."
"Thanks for seeking me out…and for apologizing. Don't be a stranger, okay?" Rachel asked, sadness clearly in her voice; Please don't leave me again on the tip of her tongue.
"I won't," Shelby insisted, voice breaking. "Please text or call, anything, whenever you want. I love you baby. I really love you."
She pulled her daughter into a hug and held her tight. Rachel loved the comforting smell of her mother. It made her feel as though somehow everything would be okay. Things would finally be okay.
They released their hug, but not before Shelby placed a chaste kiss on Rachel's forehead. Shelby got a cab, and opened the door to get in.
"Text me when you get back so I know you're safe," Rachel said making her mother turn around.
"I will, pretty girl," she got in and with that, was gone. Rachel's heart felt so full, yet so empty.
I'm so sorry this took so long! I don't know why this chapter kicked my butt, but it did. Writer's block, I guess! Anyway, I love you guys, please review and let me know what you think. Also if you have any prompt ideas for future Shelby/Rachel stories, please let me know!