Love and Other Tragedies
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm not making any money.
THIS FIC IS RATED M
Previously: James told Lily he hated her while forcing his tongue down her throat and then publicly hooking up with the insulting, Piper Prescott. Lily made a new friend in Ravenclaw, Callum Palmer, and reunited with old friends, Kat and Evie. Due to bad experiences with past DADA teachers, Lily feels uneasy about the new Professor Crouch. Remus admits to Kat that he used to have feelings for Lily. Sirius came out with his developing relationship with Honor Simmons, who views Lily as a personal rival. And because of Hogwarts' rules, James is forced to claim Lily's kitten, Snitch, as his own. A mirror guards the Head Suites requiring the truth before anyone can answer.
Chapter Seven
The Breaking of a Rule
Piper Prescott had planted herself firmly in the middle of Lily's existence. She was everywhere- a vine intent on wrapping itself around every facet of viewable space.
In the morning, the Hufflepuff along with sidekick- Hester Sprout- took up the space across from Lily's seat at breakfast, right next to James.
In the afternoon, Piper was present in two of Lily's classes followed by another meal-lunch- where Lily got to stare at the aristocratic girl again.
After lunch, she was only treated to one more class with the Hufflepuff, but dinner was always quick to arrive and present another opportunity for bonding.
Finally, more often than not in the evenings, Piper could be found opposite of James at the desk in their common room working diligently on assignments. Their silent contentment grated on Lily's nerves every time she was forced to pass them.
Then, of course, there were Prefect meetings.
According to both James and Piper, they were just friends. It was clear to everyone else that good friends would soon turn into more.
Lily could have cared less about their relationship. Her issue lied with all the extra time she was forced into Piper's presence. She couldn't complain about the added buffer between James though. It was relatively easy to mask her insane lust with Piper there to constantly act like a bucket of freezing water.
Nevertheless, there was something about a polite smile and innocent intentions that made the Hufflepuff's comments all the more irritating. Her backwards statements about Lily being chosen as Head Girl or the way she ran meetings left Lily steaming.
"Attempting wandless magic, Evans?" Callum Palmer, attractive Ravenclaw and Prefect, slid into the seat beside her. She had been sitting alone in the library. "You wouldn't be trying to set Sirius Black's new girlfriend on fire, would you?"
Lily laughed and shook her head. She hadn't meant to stare at the table where Sirius and James sat with their new significant others. "Actually, I was simply amazed that the four of them could all fit at one table with their egos."
"I had almost forgotten what good mates Potter and Black were while he was dating you." Callum commented thoughtfully.
"I'm not sure what you mean." How could anyone question the great unrelenting obsession that James and Sirius had with one another?
"I don't know what you did to Potter, but it was almost comical to watch him peel out of a room when you were around."
"Exaggeration." She shot back, but secretly began considering James' constant absence during their relationship.
James didn't seem to have any problem being around Honor, who was just as much a girlfriend to his best mate as she had been.
Callum shrugged. "I'm sure they'll all be in Hogsmeade this weekend if you'd like to go and study where else their egos can manage to fit."
"Is that an invitation, Palmer?" She smirked. This light skinned, dark haired boy charmed her more than she was willing to admit.
"Absolutely." His blue eyes sparkled at her.
"I'll meet you in front of the carriages." Her smile was embarrassingly goofy.
It remained even after he was gone.
Evie and Kat joined her before too long with sheepish smiles asking if they could sit with her.
Their new friendship was going well, but every once in awhile they seemed taken aback when Lily would make her less than sunny opinions known.
"Muggleborns." Piper greeted them with a curt nod. The rest of her group was packing up their books getting ready to leave.
Kat's mouth dropped in shock at being addressed just as 'muggleborn.' She obviously didn't have a lot of experience with Piper Prescott.
"How can we help you, Prescott?" Lily had become well-versed in Piper-speak.
"The Divination Specialist is here."
As Head Girl, Lily was well aware of the specialist's arrival at Hogwarts. The teachers had made a big deal about all of the sixth and seventh years attending the seminar she was putting on.
"We didn't sign up." Evie stared up at Piper in awe, but not of her charmless personality. Her attention was reserved for Piper's shiny mane.
"It's mandatory because no one signed up." She told them. "As the only prefect who did agree to attend like the professors suggested, McGonagall sent me to inform the rest of the sixth and seventh years."
Kat cut her eyes to Lily as if to say 'You realize she just insulted your Head Girl abilities.'
Quickly, as to not invoke Kat's defense, Lily interjected. "We're on our way."
With a nod, Piper was gone.
They followed her slowly, only showing their unwillingness in the drag of their feet.
Stacks and stacks of school work on top of pages of Head Girl duties were where Lily's mind remained, but the term 'mandatory' from McGonagall left no room excuses. Not even for the Head Girl- especially not for the Head Girl.
"Welcome students!" Madame Celeste's voice filled the expanded classroom.
Every student held a seat in the dim room. The windows were draped with dark fabrics of purple and blue, casting an eerie ambiance upon them.
With a surprisingly spry step, the ancient looking Madame moved around the room. Her endless robes left a thick floral smell behind as she captured all of their eyes before moving onto the next.
"Because of the pure enthusiasm that you have bestowed upon me with your attendance, I have decided to present the possibility of a lifetime." Madame Celeste's wrinkled hands swept through the air in elaborate movements punctuating each word.
Apparently no one had informed the Madame that this seminar was mandatory.
Silence took the room hostage as the shadows darkened around them.
They waited.
"Death!"
Every single person in the room simultaneous jumped at her exclamation.
"Will it come as a friend or a foe?" Her crinkled eyes beckoned them forward. "I promise you all…. it will come. It is the only truth we should live by."
"I cannot reveal its mysteries or help you escape its relentless chase. I can, however, offer you a glimpse of what awaits you."
With a fluid swipe of her wand, an overflowing cauldron appeared before them.
"If you are intrigued then I urge you to seek out the truest form of magic- divination. This is only a taste of the wonders that could await you."
Lily didn't have to see McGonagall's face to know it was pinched with distaste.
"Through a combination of meditation and my specially brewed potion, I will allow you to reach into the depths of your mind and across the mysterious veil to access the very last thoughts you will have before death takes you."
She paused stirring the potion in great swirls.
"There is no other living person who can perform this ritual, so I honestly say that I am offering you a once in a lifetime opportunity."
Lily was enraptured by her eyes, they were almost black.
"This is not for everyone. There could be unforeseen consequences to you decision, so I must insist that you choose wisely."
How could she not do this? Lily tried to make herself consider the possibility of not going through with it, but in the end it wasn't a choice. The wondering of what she could have known would be so much worse than anything revealed to her.
Whether the students were going to go through with it or not, Madame Celeste began the intense meditation process. She insisted it would be beneficial to all.
It could have been minutes or hours that Lily fell in sync with every part of herself. Every particle, every breath, every atom all came together for one moment of perfect clarity. The room was nearly black when she excused all those who did not wish to participate.
She was shocked when more than half the class filed out. How could they just walk away from knowing something like this?
They stumbled as if they were drunk as they went, knocking noisily into desks, but it didn't shake the intense buzzing from her mind.
"One at a time, I will call you forward." Madame Celeste's voice seemed to be coming from every wall. The commanding volume slid from the silence like a diving dolphin only to be swallowed by the ocean. A moment later, the silence was unaffected just like the motionless surface. "Professor McGonagall is here for everyone's safety. I must warn you once more of the dangers of this ritual."
No one moved.
"Sirius Black." Madame Celeste called him forward and swiftly pricked his finger without warning.
Sirius' glazed eyes barely acknowledged the pain. The blood was dropped into a small vile that Madame Celeste raised to his lips. "Drink."
Holding her breath, Lily watched enraptured as Sirius' eyes turned completely white and he spoke.
"I guess not."
And just like that, Sirius came back to himself looking confused. "Is that it?"
"Yes, Sirius Black. You have spoken your last thoughts." Madame Celeste said using her hands to scoot the confused youth back to his chair.
"Honor Simmons." She called the next student from the first row.
The events were repeated until Honor's eyes went white and she spoke in an eerie tone.
"Make it stop."
The dirty blonde haired girl staggered back to seat.
"Peter Pettigrew."
Nervous, he tripped over his feet on his way to meet his last thoughts. Madame Celeste seemed to study the blonde sidekick a little longer before urging him to "Drink."
"Forgive me."
Lily's heart went out to Peter. She supposed that negative realizations were a serious danger of finding out your last thoughts. He would always know that in death he needed to be forgiven for something he'd done.
"Remus Lupin."
More hesitantly than anyone else, Remus came to stand beside Madame Celeste with his finger outstretched to her.
"Drink."
"If I can just hold them off a little longer."
Other students that sprinkled the rows around Lily were called, but she was lost in thought.
They were so young. It would be ages before death sought them out, but this made it real.
Lily put her hand over her heart just to feel the beat against her skin. One day it would be silent.
"Katarina Cooper."
Kat's dark fringe swept into her face, she was too nervous to arrange it properly. She cringed against the needle's intrusion, but Madame Celeste immediately forced the potion through her lips silencing the whimper.
"That's going to scar."
Looking disappointed her friend came back to her seat beside-
"Lily Evans."
On shaky legs Lily walked to the front of the class. She closed her eyes quickly so she wouldn't see the needle and thanks to her nerves she never felt the prick. "Drink."
She was forced to open her eyes and accept the inconsistent liquid into her mouth. As if she was being pulled backwards into her mind, she looked forward and her eyes were just specks of light in the distance. Words tumbled from her lips as they came from nonexistent thoughts.
"He will live."
In a daze she made it back to her seat.
"Evangeline Lowsley."
She felt so dizzy she couldn't even watch Evie make her way up to the cauldron. Lily listened with her head on the table.
"Drink."
"It needs just a little more swish."
Lily felt sick as she grabbed out for Kat's arm. When their skin made contact terrible flashes of light filled her head and she withdrew her hand with a lethargic shutter.
"Are you alright, Lovely?" Kat asked in a frightened whisper.
Lily grimaced in pain as she heard other voices, harsh and terrifying, mixed in with Kat's. She tried to nod but the motion triggered another round of dizziness.
"James Potter."
Evie placed a hand on her arm when she made it back to her seat, alarmed by Kat's panicked fawning.
Lily jerked away from her friend as flashes and pain wracked through her body. There a flashing image of what Evie must have looked like as little girl- big blue eyes and a halo of blonde hair.
Lily groaned. Her head felt so full.
"They'll make it, I know it." It was James' voice.
Something rough ran across her face and she jerked away from the sensation.
A humorless laugh, the sting of pain, a crying baby, and then she couldn't breathe. A solid grip of cold metal was tight- unforgiving- around her throat.
Her vision had long ago faded to black and she fought in darkness against the choking hold.
Colors, sounds, and textures ran rampant against her. The red of blood so deep and horrifying filled up her vision and she cried out with what oxygen she had left from the hold that still wrapped around her neck. A dull ache that grew from the back of her head was easily eclipsed by a million other pains.
Something cold cut slowly into her cheek and she could only wish for hands to push away whatever invisible assailant attacked her. It was unbearable…and then there was fire setting her flesh aflame and filling her lungs. The pain was like nothing she had ever felt.
Rational thoughts were abandoned.
She was floating away.
Her arm itched.
Soft little hands on her face, a flash of pink hair, and pain that landed like an arrow in her chest. The pain grew as strange verses and sentences filled her mind. The voices whispered of hate and sometimes love and most often about a boy.
And then one by one they were all dead- all the people she had ever loved.
All of their lifeless faces at once sank into her as nightmares. She twisted and turned against the nothing that went on for miles and years.
She screamed. It came from deep within and echoed through memories to decades to come.
And then there was nothing at all and without resistance Lily welcomed unconsciousness.
An immeasurable time later with savage breaths she filled her lungs and her vision settled around her into normal forms.
She was in the hospital wing.
Lily grabbed at everything around her; the sheets, the pillow, her own limbs. She needed to make it real again.
"I wasn't expecting one of you." The voice startled her into another scream.
Madame Celeste sat in the chair beside Lily's bed.
"What happened?" Lily fought the urge to grab onto the old woman- anything to hold her in reality.
"You dipped too deeply." The vague answer didn't clear Lily's mind in the least. "May I ask what you experienced?"
She tried to think back to the swirls and sounds. "….There were so many different colors… I remember red- dark like blood. I could have drowned in the darkness…. It was so much black."
Lily paused trying to form sense out of the images. "I felt things too- physically and I guess there were emotions as well."
"What did you see?" Madame Celeste looked into Lily's eyes like she was trying to call something forward.
She remembered them suddenly-all dead. No one had even closed their lifeless eyes.
She leaned over and vomited all over Madame Celeste's pretty robes.
Lily covered her face and moaned into her hands. Her cheeks were wet.
"It's fine." The Madame insisted. The puke had been cleared with a quick spell, but the memories still haunted her.
"I saw them…."Lily trembled over her words. "Kat and Evie, Honor, J-James and Sirius, Peter, Severus- they were all dead. Not just them either."
"Everyone dies, Ms. Evans." Madame Celeste told her with a bleak smile. "Even our friends….even us."
"They're not supposed to die so young though." Lily's tears were silent and continuous in their tracks down her face. "They looked the same, like it could be tomorrow."
The older woman looked concerned by the revelation. "I'm not convinced it was prophetic. Sometimes our current fears and thoughts can leak into even the best Seer's predictions."
"I'm not a Seer." Lily vehemently denied.
Madame Celeste studied her thoroughly before answering. "No, I don't think you are a Seer at all."
"Then, why? How? I don't understand what happened."
"I think you are extraordinarily connected to the people you love. I also think your future is highly intertwined."
"With what?" She was so confused. Even an ounce of understanding would soothe the desperate ache.
"I know this is hard, but you need to tell me what seemed important when you left yourself. I'm having difficulty finding the meaning of your experience. Think of the reoccurring themes."
"It was mostly flashes of images or feelings. I heard sentences, but not voices. There was this horrible face again and again, so disgusting it had to be a mask. Something hard and solid wrapped around my throat and I couldn't breathe. I saw my eyes, but different. It was like looking through a million different perspectives."
"I'm afraid I can give you no solid answers. It is possible that you entered several others' subconscious as well as your own, either by physical or emotional connections." The wrinkles around the specialists eyes pooled in concentration. "My only advice is to accept what you saw for what it was and that is something that cannot be understood or changed. I promise you, it will drive you beyond the brink of insanity to try and decipher the great beyond."
Madame Celeste gave Lily a solid pat on the leg. "Goodbye dear."
"Everything is fine now? I'm normal again?" Lily asked cautiously hopeful.
"I'd give it a week." Madame Celeste gave her an encouraging smile. "It won't be like anything that happened today. You might just see things a little differently than normal- a little more clearly."
She tried to return the divination specialist's smile, but found herself too tired to do anything but settle into a deep dreamless sleep.
The soft murmur of words dragged her unwillingly from sleep.
"Look at me."
"What?" The second voice was different. It was female just like the first, but the tone and direction were off.
Lily opened her eyes to be greeted by large brown orbs peering down.
"Why am I looking at you?" Kat asked curiously directing her question at Lily.
Confused, Lily scrunched her face taking in the rest of her surroundings.
She was still in the hospital wing, except now the room was alit with sunlight rushing in through the windows. "What?"
Kat continued to stare concerned. "You were sleeping and then you said 'look at me'."
"Oh." It was Lily's only response.
"You're lucky Evie wasn't here. She's convinced we should be writing down all the nonsense you keep spouting out." Kat stepped away from the bed, giving her more room.
"I was talking in my sleep? What was I saying?" Lily asked, curiosity lighting up her face. She had more energy than she expected and she put it to use sitting up and throwing her legs off the side of the bed.
"Complete nonsense." Kat giggled thinking back to some particularly humorous rambling. "Every once in a while something ominous would slip through and really give Evie a fright, but then you'd continue on with a spill about flying muggles or- my personal favorite- a lightning bolt with emerald eyes."
Lily pulled at her uniform embarrassed. It was just her luck that she would be the one to have such a strong reaction to the ritual. "Did anybody else… you know?"
"Nope." Kat didn't seem to understand Lily's embarrassment and she spoke with nonchalance. "You were the only casualty, but you should have seen everyone's reactions when you went down. It was complete chaos."
Lily covered her face in shame with a groan. She was mortified.
"Madame Pomfrey said you were free to go when you woke up." Kat realized her blunder and tried to sound encouraging at the good news. "We've got Hogsmeade if you're feeling up to it."
"Hogsmeade? How long was I out for?"
"About an hour short of two days." Kat answered staring at the clock.
"Blast!" Lily shot out the door with her tiny friend hot on her heels. "I've got a date!"
"With Harry?" Kat asked, a coy smile pulling at her lips.
Lily stopped, stunted by the oddness of the question.
"You talked about him too, when you were a sleep." Kat filled in studying Lily's face as if she was hoping to catch a slip of some secret emotion.
Irritated she had lost valuable seconds, Lily picked up her pace again. "No, with Callum Palmer."
"Nice one!" Kat congratulated. "And thank Merlin. The only 'Harry' Evie and I could think of was that third year, Harold Lane."
Apparently Lily's disgusted face was enough to reassure Kat that she wasn't preying on thirteen year olds.
"I don't see why you're in such a hurry, Lovely." Kat's shorter legs lagged behind Lily's long strides. "Your uniform is always that wrinkled. Palmer won't even be able to tell the difference."
"Bugger off." Lily called back to her teasing friend.
Kat was still laughing when they rounded the last corner before the entrance to the Head Suites.
Lily only caught a glimpse of the woman standing in front of the truth mirror, murmuring in a low tone, before Kat's rambunctious laughter announced their approach.
"Hello, Professor Crouch." Kat politely greeted their superior.
"Ms. Evans, Ms. Cooper." She returned calmly. She didn't move, continuing to block their path.
A tingle traveled up Lily's spine. "Is there something we can help you with, Professor?"
The professor's eyes never left Lily's as she spoke. "I was just marveling at one of Hogwarts' many surprises."
"Surprises?" Kat inquired curiously. She hadn't ever given much thought to the Head Suites' entrance.
"When I was the Head Girl, the suite was located in the normal house dormitories." Professor Crouch answered Kat, but her eyes remained glued to Lily. "In fact as far as I know, this is the only year that the Head Students have been given a residence in the faculty wing."
"You don't say?" Kat feigned interest. She was good at it though, and Lily was sure Crouch couldn't tell her true boredom on the subject. "Why do you think that is, professor?"
Crouch studied Lily up and down as if the Head Girl's appearance could supply the answer. "I have held the belief since I was a student here that Hogwarts has a mind of its own. I once heard a muggle saying that went something like 'if walls could talk.' Imagine all that these walls must know."
Professor Crouch's plain face frowned as she paused. "I would step cautiously, Ms. Evans."
Lily was startled. Crouch's nondescript brown eyes burned into her, Lily couldn't help but hear the threat that lay thick in her words.
"Hogwarts seems to think you need protecting." Almost in unison, the professor looked swiftly to the mirror and headed away from the seventh years.
It was hard not be alarmed and Lily watched Professor Crouch retreat with a startled expression.
Crouch's intentions were clear and Lily's first reaction was to run to Professor Dumbledore, but rehashing the conversation in her head she realized the older woman's words had been specifically vague. Repeated they could be made to sound like concern or simple curiosity.
Lily couldn't deny that she even doubted her first instinct about the threat, thinking over the interaction a third time.
"Lily!" Kat stomped her foot trying to break the girl out of her reverie. "I need a specific invite, remember?"
Lily shook the fog from her mind putting it away for another time. "As Head Girl, I invite you into my suite."
"You make it sound so dirty." Kat wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
An hour later and only five minutes late, they arrived at the carriages. Spotting her, Callum displayed her favorite crooked smile and waved her over.
"You made it." His blue eyes sparkled with surprise.
She scoffed dramatically. "As if a little prophetic episode could keep me down."
"I heard it kept you down for two whole days in the hospital wing." He pointed out with a laugh. "You're really okay?"
"I solemnly swear."
"Well, you sure look okay." His meaning was as obvious as his smirk.
She thanked him as he helped her into the carriage. Another couple followed them in that Lily recognized, but was unfamiliar with personally.
"Wotcher." Callum greeted them happily. "Good play the other day, Fisher."
"Thanks mate." Fisher, the baby faced boy, was all smiles. "I think we've really got a chance at the cup this year. No offense, Evans."
Lily shrugged. "As Head Girl, I support all school approved forms of house pride, but as a Gryffindor I have to warn you…"
She paused with a helpless sigh. "You really don't stand a chance."
The boys laughed and Lily realized she recognized Fisher from the newest Ravenclaw Prefects. Were there any prefects who didn't double on the Quidditch team?
"I don't know if you've met Primrose Tripe?" Fisher introduced the brunette who snuggled into his side.
"Hi." She gave them both shy smiles.
Lily was almost positive that the girl was not a Prefect, but then again the young ones all looked the same to her.
"You're the Slytherin Seeker, right?" Callum tried for conversation.
Primrose looked into her lap sadly. "Reserve this year."
The subject was quickly dismissed as Fisher kissed her cheek and gave her an encouraging smile. Obviously, it was a sore subject.
Arriving in Hogsmeade, they bid the younger couple farewell and Callum apologized profusely excusing himself for a quick moment.
The Post Office, specializing in muggle as well as Owl Post, was right beside the carriage drop off and Lily stood slightly out of view.
She didn't want to look like she was meandering awkwardly alone.
"Moved on so soon?" Silky and breathless, his voice came from behind her.
She fought against every muscle not to jump at her surprise. "Hello, Severus."
He did not move out of the shadows to stand beside her and she refused to turn around to accommodate him. It was he who was ashamed to speak to her in public.
She closed her eyes letting the swift pain role over, knowing how quickly it would wash away. She would have disguised her pained face if he could see her, but she was given safety by his stubbornness.
Every time it got a little easier.
"I never knew you were such a broom chaser." His snarl betrayed his jealousy as he spoke in a hushed tone. "First a Beater and now a Keeper- are you working on a collection?"
She isolated her cringe to just her face, making certain her back gave nothing away. To him she would be unaffected and it brought her much needed comfort.
In response to her silence, he spoke again. "I've recently been made Seeker."
He meant to offend her and cause a reaction, but she knew him well enough to detect the undertone of hopefulness as he spoke.
"Stole the position from a little girl, did you?" She responded thinking of Primrose's sad face in the carriage. "Does that make you proud, Sev?"
She could feel his stuttering anger despite the controlled tone of his voice. "Shows what you know. Tripe had already been demoted. Slytherin didn't want be seen as supporting a relationship with a mudblood."
It was easier than ever before to walk away from him, leaving him in the shadows as she greeted Callum with a cheerful smile.
Yes, it got easier every single time to walk away from man who had replaced the boy she loved so much.
Callum and Lily found a table in The Three Broomsticks and he immediately set out to get them drinks. Pulling off her light jacket, she took a quick mental inventory of her surroundings.
Kat and Evie were laughing at Remus and Peter from a booth in the corner. Unfortunately, it looked completely platonic. She was just about bursting to confront Kat about her relationship with Remus, but she couldn't find away to bring it up without admitting her eavesdropping, especially not when the conversation included Remus' confession about fancying Lily.
The other half of the Marauders as well as their female counterparts were absent.
She found herself seeking out long dark hair and cursed herself.
She was very good at creating a big fat blank spot where Severus Snape still intermingled with her life. She was so good at it that they could often be in the same room and Lily didn't even realize his presence.
He just had to go and ruin everything by speaking with her. Acknowledging his presence at all meant taking a step backwards. It would take at least a month before she could capture her perfect avoidance again. Damn him.
He was always ruining everything.
"It worries me that every time I find you alone you look like you are trying to inflict pain on someone with your mind." Callum admitted handing her an overflowing butterbeer.
She thanked him. "I would just try and stay on my good side- there very well could be a slimy git withering in pain somewhere as we speak."
"If I had known that you were as entertaining as you are pretty, I would have asked you out ages ago." He smiled taking a big sip of his drink. He allowed the foam to sit on his upper lip just long enough to continue his grin before wiping it away.
She laughed, accepting the compliment. "I can't say I completely regret my decision to sit beside you that day in History of Magic... It's funny actually-."
Just remembering the moment in class made her burst into laughter.
"What?" He demanded intrigued.
"It's just that I was convinced you were having some type of racy long distance relationship." She admitted laughing again.
Callum shook his head confused.
"You were reading a letter with this intense look on your face and when I sat down you shoved it into your bag so quickly, like it was burning your hands." She continued to laugh. Callum was not the racy relationship type at all.
"Oh." He tried to laugh with her, but he fidgeted in his seat uncomfortable with her obvious opinion of him.
Her laughter abruptly ceased realizing that telling a boy the idea of him having a bit of excitement in his life made her hysterical with disbelief.
"No, I didn't mean it like that." She insisted trying to soothe the burn she'd unintentionally inflicted. Here she was on a date with a proper bloke and she'd offended him before they'd even shared a second drink. "I'm sure you've had loads of racy in your life."
Her reassuring comment didn't seem to improve her slight as his smile vanished entirely and an awkward silence crept over them.
Her mind raced for anything to change the subject and she found herself blurting out the first thing that came into her mind. "What do you think about Professor Crouch?"
He was startled by her random outburst, but still considered his answer carefully before he spoke like a good Ravenclaw. "She seems effective enough."
Lily nodded, but couldn't think of anything to add. Crouch was effective as a teacher. Admitting her suspicions would definitely make her seem paranoid.
"Plus, she's a Ravenclaw, so there's house pride and all that." He continued trying to fill the silence.
Lily hadn't known that about their professor. "Makes sense."
He nodded and with dreaded silence she waited for the uncomfortable atmosphere to return. It did with a vengeance.
"Hello, Evans." Piper Prescott's voice came from behind her. "Palmer."
Lily had to twist around in her seat to return the greeting. It was without a doubt the first time Lily had ever delighted in hearing the Hufflepuff's voice. "Hello, Prescott- oh er… Good day Sirius, Potter, Simmons."
Sirius, James, and Honor stood awkwardly behind Piper who didn't acknowledge the puzzled looks her entourage threw at her back.
"Hester's here too." Piper remarked sharply and for once Lily thought she might actually detect the rudeness Piper's words often portrayed.
Hester had positioned herself carefully behind James and Lily had to lean in her chair to greet the quiet girl. "Hello, Hester. I apologize. I didn't see you."
Hester's blush filled every spot on her face that hadn't been mutilated or scarred. Her silence was all Lily had expected, but Piper looked satisfied.
"We were going to sit with you." The blonde girl didn't fidget or react to Callum or Lily's confused expressions. "The rest of the tables are filled up with couples and it would be easiest to sit with the two of you. After all, James is Head Boy and Simmons and I are Prefects so any official business you were discussing could be done in front of us."
Before either of them could reply, Piper had seated herself at the end chair facing them. The rest of them were a little more cautious pulling out chairs and filling the seats: Hester and Sirius took the seats beside Lily, while James sat beside Callum with Honor taking the last spot across from Sirius.
"We weren't discussing school matters." Callum told Piper with a puzzled but friendly smile. "We don't mind the company though."
Lily didn't know what he was talking about 'not minding.' She certainly minded being squashed at a table with her current date, ex-boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend, the boy she constantly fantasized about, and the boy's new girlfriend- or whatever the hell they were these days.
No matter which way she looked, she was staring at an awkward situation.
She settled for staring at her butterbeer.
"You look nice, Lily." The soft voice came from Sirius and her head snapped up at him in surprise.
Honor looked at him with a shocked glare of her own. Sirius' girlfriend looked like she was trying to strangle her butterbeer, opposed to Lily who might have been trying to form a love connection with her drink she stared at it so vehemently.
"Err- thank you." She replied going back to her butterbeer staring competition.
The boys were left to point the conversation to the one thing every wizard could find at least fifteen things to say about at any given moment- Quidditch. And from there the group found it easier to stumble over other topics as well.
"I never knew you didn't have an owl, James." Honor was shocked when James asked Sirius about borrowing his owl.
James' voice called Lily to look at his face when he spoke, something she had been avoiding all day. "My parents do. They are really the only people I need to get in touch with who don't live in the same castle as I do. Besides, there are always the school owls and Sirius has Barney."
His voice was borderline defensive and Lily was terribly curious about the cause of his attitude.
"You can forget it mate." Sirius answered his request rudely. "Your ruddy cat is likely to make poor Barney lunch."
Lily resisted the urge to defend Snitch. The cat might talk a big game, but she was beginning to think he was secretly a softie. After all, he hadn't even tried to eat Harvey…Well, except that one time at the beginning of the term.
"Really, Sirius? Going to let your prejudices make judgments for you?" James' smile was rogue. She had never realized Sirius had such a hatred of cats. "Snitch is just particular about his company."
Lily snorted.
"Wait." Callum interjected confused. "I thought Snitch was your cat, Lily."
"-Well, yes." She replied uncertainly. "I suppose he's a bit like James' and a bit like mine."
"So…" Sirius' eyes were darting between them curiously. "You own him together?"
Why was everyone looking at her? Sirius was making it sound…couple-y or something. She couldn't find the words to explain. It really wasn't a thing they did together- like raising a child or something.
James was no help either. He just stared at her like the rest of them.
"Would you like to accompany me to the lavatory, Lily?" Surprisingly, it was Piper who offered an escape from their presumptuous gazes. It was the second time she had saved Lily from an awkward moment.
She agreed quickly and Piper, along with her ever present shadow- Hester, made their way through the busy pub into the line for the loo.
Silence was acceptable here and Lily was happy for the change. Piper and Hester seemed equally pleased to be silent in each other's company.
They were always like that, though. It seemed plausible that their friendship had somehow transcended words.
The two Hufflepuffs' friendship was viewed as something of an anomaly in regards to Piper's personality.
If you didn't look deep enough it would be very hard to understand why Piper Prescott had been sorted into Hufflepuff, and even more puzzling as to why she flourished there.
Lily, of course, thought about everything deeply and after much consideration the selection had become obvious to her.
Piper displayed all the qualities that Hufflepuff's valued, even if it was in the same backwards way that Piper always spoke in.
Piper was hard working. She worked very hard at looking good and having everyone think she was perfectly enviable.
And Merlin help someone who stood in the way of something she wanted. The pretty blonde was also loyal if you could get close enough to her to be accepted. The issue was that getting close to her was nearly impossible.
Everyone knew that Piper Prescott was undeniably best mates with Hester Sprout.
Their friendship had struck off fantastically in first year. Tragically, Hester had been attacked by a poisonous plant the summer after third year which left her physically scarred in the face as well as mind. It wasn't anything you could you could put your finger on. Hester was just a tad bit off.
Piper remained fiercely loyal, if not more so, to her dorm mate despite her seeming obsession with appearances.
Hester was the only one who could count themselves safe from Piper. The rest of Hogwarts was vulnerable to her plots and schemes, if they were so unlucky to get in her way.
"Why did you end your relationship with Black?" Lily didn't notice that Piper was countering her stare until the shorter girl's question had erupted from her lips.
Lily paused, but Piper had surely grown accustomed to people needing an extra minute to process and reply to her bizarrely abrupt speech patterns. "I'm a bit confused as to why you'd like to know."
"You're pretty." Piper answered like it was the clear response.
"Er...Thank you?" Lily tried to retain the vague politeness their conversation held. "Could you elaborate? I don't quite follow you."
"I feel like it's important for me to understand the established relationships and dynamics, since I have decided to spend more time with the Gryffindors and the Auror's sister."
"You mean Honor, right?" Lily filled in for herself.
Piper had a habit of picking out what she deemed important about someone and recognizing them only by that quality. For instance, so far Lily's identifier was simply 'muggleborn.' "I don't feel comfortable sharing details about my relationship with Sirius."
Piper accepted her answer comfortably and a few girls filtered out of the loo allowing them to inch forward. The wait stretched on before Lily and her empty bladder encouraged her to skip out. It was obvious why Piper had wanted her along and she couldn't imagine the other girl protesting now that she'd gotten an answer.
"I've changed my mind. I don't have to go after all." Lily left without consideration for their reactions. She honestly doubted they acknowledged her absence at all.
The Three Broomsticks was nearly bursting and she couldn't spot the table hidden behind the numerous bodies until she was upon it.
She stopped nervously finding it empty save for one straggler. "James."
He nodded making an obvious effort not to look at her and instead of her shoulder as if he was casually searching their surroundings. "I apologize for ruining your date."
"Where did everyone get off to?" She asked instead of a replying.
"A group of third years got their hands on some firewhiskey and needed an escort back to the castle. I took points, but Honor and Callum decided it would be best to take them themselves since the students were Ravenclaws."
"And Sirius?"
"Left with Wormtail, Padfoot, and the Muggleborns." He told her still staring anywhere but at her.
"Muggleborns, is it?" She asked heatedly. There was something entirely grating about hearing Piper's words slip from the Head Boy's lips. "Pick that one up from your girlfriend?"
He laughed despite her escalating irritation. "I guess I did."
"Charming." Lily bit out shoving her chair out and leaving him sitting there alone.
She fought against the crowd until she was released into the chilly air outside the pub. She'd forgotten her jacket.
It wasn't worth going back to get, she decided. If she was lucky then someone would get it for her, if not then- oh well.
There weren't any carriages and waiting didn't appeal to her, so she set off on foot. And even though a chill crept into the air, she opted to stay outdoors instead of seeking warmth inside the castle's doors once she'd made it back to the grounds.
She considered going to Sirius' "spot" by the lake, but even when she set off towards it she ended up at the Quidditch Pitch. That "spot" held a million memories while the pitch was a blank canvas. She couldn't claim a great love of the sport. Honestly, she only attended the games in support of her friends and there was the added bonus of Quidditch uniforms. She was hopelessly mad for a boy in uniform.
Arriving at the pitch, it wasn't totally a shock to find Sirius, Remus, and Peter taking up space on the grassy arena. They didn't notice her approach and thought about leaving them to their fun.
Sirius and Peter were wrestling on the ground while Remus laughed at their playful struggling.
Sometimes they were such boys.
It was hard to believe that after seven years and all the things she'd been though with them, that she still felt such a pull –a need- to be with them. She continued to watch them from a distance appreciating and envying the special relationship they had. They didn't even know how rare it was.
Lily's smile was genuine, but so was the tingling sting in her eyes. Their effortless love was something she wanted more than anything in the world.
She wasn't one of them though and with a pull against the strings that drew her to them, she turned and headed back to the school.
"Hey-… Lily?" One of them spotted her retreating back. "Wait a second!"
She turned back to them curiously. It was Sirius who requested her pause. A hopeful shard pierced her heart staring at her ex-boyfriend across the pitch.
The distance between them made it difficult to read his expression, but she kept quiet with anticipation.
"I think I'm going to head back." He turned suddenly to the other two boys with a meaningful tone.
Remus stared back at him confused while Peter took a tittering step as if to follow Sirius, but their friend shook his head and glanced fleetingly at Lily. "Stay. It's a nice day and there won't be many more."
Lily almost giggled feeling inexplicably as if she and Sirius were divorced parents and he was giving her the afternoon with their children.
Without another glance Sirius exited their odd triangle formation and Lily filled his space with a happy skip in her step.
She wouldn't try and downplay the significance of Sirius' actions. He was trying. It wasn't exactly a monumental step forward, but even a shuffle forward was a step in the right direction.
"So how 'bout it, Lovely?" Peter called her attention back to the grinning boys. They both appeared genuinely pleased to be spending time with her.
"What's that?" She tried to get her smile under control, fearing she'd scare them off with her enthusiasm.
"We were going to play a game of Exploding Snap." Peter bounced on the balls of his feet, making him appear more than ever like a little boy. His blonde hair was windswept and cheeks rosy. Peter's youthful enthusiasm was one of her favorite things about the fourth Marauder.
She agreed and after they'd transfigured Remus' jacket into a blanket, a raucous game unfolded as the rest of the afternoon passed.
"It's just unfair…" Peter grumbled, sporting a fair amount of singed hair and one less eyebrow than he started with. "They shouldn't call you Lovely Lily. It should be Lucky Lily."
She smirked in reply and shook out her undamaged hair, flaunting her explosion-less game.
"Yes, very lucky indeed." Remus agreed with Peter. His suspiciously playful look clearly said 'I know you're up to something. I just can't figure out your game.'
"What should we do now?" Peter asked eagerly now that their game was finished. He seemed intent on ignoring the sinking sun and chill bumps that raced across their skin in reaction to the dropping temperature.
Remus spoke after a pause. "Another game?"
Lily was happy that her friends were just as unwilling to let their happy afternoon end as she was.
An angry noise erupted from Peter's stomach in protest. Despite the dimming light Lily could easily spot his blush. "I guess I should go eat…"
She felt twisted pleasure in his distraught tone. "How about we study together tomorrow, Peter? I don't know about you, but I'm overloaded with Charms."
"That'd be great!" He waited impatiently while Lily and Remus leisurely gathered their things, eyeing the castle longingly, but unwilling to lessen their time together.
Remus shot her a knowing look of amusement. "Go ahead, Wormtail. We'll meet you there."
But when Peter left them so did the need for food and Lily retook her spot on the blanket when Remus did the same.
The sky was only lit by orange and pink echoes of the sun, and they permitted a comfortable silence to capture them. Lily couldn't have felt awkward if she tried about Remus' past crush. In some backward way, it made sense. She would have been lying if she said that she'd never considered the quietest Marauder in that way.
With a healthy distance between them, they lay on their backs and looked for the first twinkle of where the stars would soon appear.
"Lily," Remus' voice made her pause at the seriousness. "I'm a werewolf."
She was too shocked to move, but oddly thankful for the inclination. Any sudden movement and she would likely to scare Remus into silence.
"If that's what's keeping you from being with Sirius then you should know it's my secret that he's been keeping." He continued in a quiet voice.
Despite the calming voice with which Remus shared his deepest secret, she could feel the tension that twisted viciously through his entire body.
Lily let out a breath so deep it could have building since fifth year. "Thank you."
"…E-excuse me?" Remus jerked into a sitting position, coming to stare down at her with disbelief.
"Thank you, for trusting me enough to tell me." She answered sincerely, copying his movements so she wouldn't be lying down.
A broken chortle erupted from Remus as he stared with perplexed curiosity. "You already knew, didn't you? Honestly, it amazes me more people haven't been able to put two and two together. And of course, the brilliant Lovely Lily would have figured it out long ago."
"I didn't know." She shrugged with indifference. "I probably could have if I wanted too, but it wasn't my place. It's personal and it's your business to share with who you like. I suppose, in all honesty, it was probably in the back of my head. I just chose not to touch it."
"You're not afraid of me?" His amber eyes narrowed suspiciously. She wanted to tell him that she wasn't playing a prank. He was the Marauder. "I'm not a monster to you? How can you sit there so calmly as if I've just told you I have a passing interest in astronomy instead that once a month I try to kill people?"
"Blame it on my muggle upbringing, I suppose." She told him honestly. "At an early age I had to wipe out every preconceived notion I ever had about the realities of the world. Witches don't exactly have the best reputation with muggles either. I'm a blank slate. You are the only werewolf I've ever met and you're one of the best people I know."
"It really doesn't bother you?" He couldn't fathom her acceptance. "I feel like a fool. All this time I've been trying to keep this huge secret and I've ruined my best mate's relationship in the process. If I'd just told Sirius to tell you from the beginning then-."
She interrupted him. "Remus, be honest. When has Sirius ever not done something he really wanted to?"
His eyes flickered with reluctant admittance.
"It wasn't ever about what you lot were getting up too. It was about trusting me and wanting me to know. Did Sirius even ever ask if he could tell me?" She questioned as she pulled her knees under her, drawing her height up to stare evenly at Remus.
He wouldn't meet her gaze though as he shook his head in reply.
"It was easier for him to keep me in the dark. We both know that if he had really wanted to clue me in then he would have found a way." She continued without feeling the sadness which had once saturated the issue. "I'm sorry that you felt guilty. It wasn't your burden to bear."
Once again a thoughtful silence came to them and they both lost themselves in thought.
"This keeps happening." Remus broke the calm with an ironic laugh. "I expect the worst from people and they keep proving me wrong. I didn't think it was possible for anyone to take it better than James, Sirius, and Peter, but Lovely you might have succeeded."
"I wish you had told me because you wanted too. Not because you thought it was for Sirius." She lay back down with a regretful sigh. The stars were in full bloom above their blanket.
Remus spoke after a moment of quiet. "Me, too…. I always wanted to-… For a long time you were the only other person I thought should know. It was selfish in the end. I couldn't give up the way you looked at me. You have a way of looking at people like they deserve to be seen, Lily."
"That's a very nice thing to say, Remus." Lily responded gently not removing her gaze from the endless sky above. "I won't ever tell a soul… I swear you can trust me."
He nodded. "We're about to miss dinner."
"Go ahead." She stretched out comfortably before rolling off his transfigured jacket. "I just want to think for a minute."
He agreed, but only if she would keep his jacket. He'd noticed she was missing her own.
Remus is a werewolf. Alone, she tried to wrap her head around the information. It wasn't nearly as shocking as it should have been, mostly likely due to the reasons she'd already mentioned to him.
Maybe, she really had known all along. She just needed to be told.
There was also her strange Divination episode to consider. Madame Celeste had warned her she would "see" things more clearly than normal. It was possible that her reaction was less emotion oriented and more rationally minded.
For something that she had once considered to be the ultimate symbol of acceptance with the Marauders, it was massively lacking in fulfillment.
It occurred to her that it might be time to unwind her expectations from the boys. It would have been easier if she just wasn't so positive she was suppose to be intertwined with them.
All of Lily's heavy thoughts weighed on her eyelids, until they closed and with a nonsensical murmur she fell asleep.
"Evans, are you completely insane?"
The redhead was jolted awake, muttering. "Merlin, not again."
Without the normal irrational moments following sleep, Lily snapped easily back to her mind. It was so dark on the Quidditch Pitch that the moon painted the world silver. Remus' jacket had returned to its natural form, leaving only her body and hair safe from the damp grass.
She sat up shivering and completely ignoring James altogether.
"What the bloody hell are you doing out here in the middle of the night?" He demanded. Anger made him a different kind of attractive. It sharpened the lines of his face to the point of perfection. He could have been sculpted as the perfect specimen of man.
"Getting a good seat for the first match, obviously." Her voice was scratchy and sarcastic. She wasn't frightened or shocked by his actions this time.
"Clever." He yanked her up by the arm. Despite the joke, his anger remained spiked. "You could have been kidnapped –or murdered! You stupid bint, there is a war going on!"
Violently, she jerked out of his grip. His words made it simple to match his rage. "I'm fine, you prick! It's none of your business anyways. Bugger off!"
"None of my business?" He spoke with a furious edge.
She tried to march around him, but he stepped in front of her with one easy stride.
"I wake up in the middle of the night and you're nowhere to be found!" He exploded.
She was getting really tired of these emotional outbursts. How could someone go from being untouchably cool to an irrational mess as often as James Potter did?
"So what?" She didn't feed his need for retaliation, and instead took on a new tactic. "The Head Girl is missing in the middle of the night and you think 'Hmmm…I bet she's down at the Quidditch Pitch.' Really, Potter?"
Nothing shut a Marauder up faster than questioning one of their mysteries. James stared at her taking deep breaths, but looking relatively less pissed off.
"That's what I thought! I'll start explaining myself to you when you do the same!" She took his silence as acceptance and set out again in her march towards the castle.
He impeded her journey once more this time by grabbing onto the back of her shirt and holding her in place effortlessly. The easy way he could physically control her, sent a rampaging anger stampeding her.
Using all her strength she charged forward and away from James' hold. There was only a split second of victory as she felt his grasp relent suddenly before she was sent crashing into the ground due to her own momentum.
He stared down at her, but without his reliable distaste.
The combination of anger, exhaustion, and the sting of her skinned hands and bruised knees, almost leaked from her eyes in the form of unwanted tears.
"You're useless." James said with a sigh. His voice wasn't marred by unpleasantness at all anymore. It almost sounded endearing.
He leaned over, but instead of pulling her up he reached for Remus' jacket. When he finally held a hand out to her, she sneered at him and got up on her own violation.
Her shirt had been ripped jaggedly all the way down the back and she struggled to keep it righted on her shoulders.
"I thought something had happened to you." He explained calmly.
She wouldn't look at him, holding onto her anger so she wouldn't allow other- weaker- emotions to make themselves known.
Wiggling in her shirt, Lily missed him sweeping Remus' jacket around her back. He was standing so close that she had no choice but to glare at his chest, while he finished tucking the warm material around her.
"The only thing bad that happened to me tonight was you, James." She snapped, refusing to be affected by his close proximity.
"…I was worried." His voice strained with the effort it took to admit the truth. "I thought something -…terrible had happened to you. I panicked."
It was as close to an apology she was ever going to get him from him, but she wasn't ready to let it go though. This wasn't acceptable behavior and it was about time he realized that.
"No." She lifted her chin with reinvigorated resolve. "It's not going to work like that."
Unfortunately, it left them standing so close their lips were likely to brush. As she searched his eyes, she was treated to a boy with a face devoid of barriers and walls- the embodiment of honesty.
James did not meet her gaze in return. With unhidden magnetism, he focused solely on her lips. She could have stared at him forever without the walls and airs of indifference he built so meticulously.
"No." She repeated weakly with no idea as to whose question she was answering anymore.
She couldn't take her eyes off the beauty of his face, but he didn't have a clue.
"Calm down, Evans." His voice was breathlessly lost. She dare not look at his lips or be captured in the same magic that had taken him hostage. "I just had to know you were okay… I'll tell you how."
When he admitted in his own very James-like way that he cared about her, she let her eyes sink to his unbearably soft lips. The return of the stomach flip kicked her so hard she inclined impossibly closer to him, gripping his shoulders like he was a life vest.
"-Wait." She snapped her eyes up in realization of the rest of his statement. "You'll tell me what?"
Their bodies had become incredibly intertwined, yet she didn't remember either of them moving. His hands tucked underneath Remus' jacket to settle on her warm naked back while she pushed her chest into his bringing their lips closer to their goal.
"You wanted to know how I found you… It's a map. We made it a couple of years ago. It tells us whe-."
She pressed her lips to his as gently as she did demanding. With unforeseeable control he kept their pace slow. It was nothing like their last kiss. There was still overwhelming lust and magnetism, but something else was there too.
He pushed her jacket off to the moist grass and the tattered shirt fell away with it. The cold wasn't a factor anymore though. She was on fire.
With a vicious need to be closer to him, she wrapped her bare arms around his neck as their lips kept pace with their craving need for each other. He nearly lifted her off the ground, securing her into his hold as if she were weightless.
A breathy whimper escaped her and without conscious thought, she brought her legs around his sturdy waist. He readjusted his hold to accommodate the new position and broke away from her lips, trailing a senseless line of kisses down her throat.
His tongue swirled sensually at the base of her collarbone and rational thought left the equation as she tugged at his shirt. He immediately responded to her aggression setting her back on her feet and letting her hands work the item free.
The space between them did not ease the crackling tension. His chest was hard and- yet, so soft. Her dainty hands felt every inch of skin and muscle. With innocent curiosity she dipped her thumb just beyond the belt of his pants.
"Lily." He hissed her name with breathless abandonment. It finally drew her attention away from his rippling abdomen and to his glazed eyes that bore into her with a million different emotions she couldn't begin to interpret. "You're… You're so…"
He didn't finish, but his eyes told her everything she needed to hear. She nodded in understanding and slipped back into his arms where their mouths sought each other wildly.
As if they had it planned, their hands immediately went to work at the pants that separated them. James made easy work of Lily's, pushing them off and then lifting her feet off the ground and out of them.
Unfortunately, Lily wasn't having as much luck with his leather belt. A desperate stutter hindered her progress and she whimpered her unhappiness into his lips. Swiftly, James responded trying to wiggle frantically out the fabric.
Getting tangled in the rest of their discarded garments, James lost his balance and with a solid thump hit the grass bringing Lily on top of him.
She stared down at him with surprised eyes, waiting for his reaction as the fall brought them both back to reality.
His laughter jolted her. Her ears were unused to the unabashed sound after their gentle moans. She searched for indignation at their current position, but the thoughts only left her joining into his fit.
Her lean legs slid down either side of his hips, bringing them intimately together.
The jostle of their laughter rubbed her body into his and in thoughtless response, Lily raised her body up and let her head roll back with pleasure of the sensation.
"Don't do that." James' husky voice said one thing, but sounded like he meant the opposite.
She stared down at him curiously, her breast heaving against the black bra.
"Don't do that or I won't be able to control myself." He finished holding her hips tightly to his, as if he feared she might really do what he asked.
She paused to stare meaningfully at him before slowly and deliberately grinding her hips into him, letting her eyes flutter closed at the electric shocks it rocketed through her body.
With a desperate moan, he flipped them roughly so he could lie on top keeping them connected through the fabric. He nipped and tasted her throat fleetingly before sliding down to her breast. Lily wiggled against him searching for the sensation of their rolling hips and when he held her still, she used the heels of her petite feet to drag his pants down his legs as he continued to feast on her chest.
"Please." Her voice was unrecognizable. "James."
Her strained begging only made her partner's actions more frenzied as he did away with her bra completely and finished the job she started removing his pants.
She used the leverage of his distraction to slide her hands to his waist and slip into his under things without hesitation. She wrapped her warm hand around the substantial length.
A guttural moan startled her as he pushed her back down to the soft grass beneath them. She stared into his eyes in surprise.
He stared back at her with wild glazed eyes. He was past the point of gentle and lost to the lust that she'd given up fighting long ago.
His wonderfully calloused hand ran fleetingly on the inside of her thighs and she bucked up at him with uncontrolled need.
"James." She growled demandingly.
He couldn't say no to her tonight and she delighted when a digit slid beneath her knickers.
"Wait." Her voice shook with effort.
He looked up at her uncertainly.
"Take them off." She felt stronger saying it this time.
James searched her eyes seeking something in her face, but found it quickly as he relented once again to her will and slid the lace knickers off her trembling legs. His under things were removed in his brief absence and she welcomed him nervously, wrapping her smooth legs around his hips.
"Lily." He moaned when his cock made un-penetrating contact with her intimately. His hands touched her everywhere, as if there couldn't be enough of her to satisfy his want. He muttered senselessly. "What are you doing to me?"
With careful movements, Lily brought her hand between them and positioned him at her entrance.
He let out a strangled breath, fighting the impulse to push easily into her wet tunnel. His arms rested on either side of her face intimately and she watched with fascination as he struggled not to lose himself completely to lust.
"James." She whispered with need.
He satisfied her request with a swift push that surprised them both. Dual gasps echoed through the night. He tried to pause to allow her to get used to his size, but the lust was overwhelming.
"Oh… fuck." He stared down at her as he slid in again and again.
The pinch of pain only suppressed her passion for a moment. The look of unadulterated pleasure would have been enough to make her soaking with pleasure, but add in the wonderful way his plunges hit the perfect spot and Lily was moaning against him effortlessly. On their own account, her hips raised to meet his.
She lost herself, his name bursting through her lips like a revered prayer again and again. Their cries ignited the pitch at a building pace until Lily crashed violently taking James with her.
All that was left were shallow broken breaths and the stars that had witnessed it.
There would certainly be questions later, but now wasn't the time.
He had given her what no other Marauder ever had- the truth for no other reason than he wanted her to know. It wasn't exactly the best reason to have sex with someone and maybe regret would come tomorrow, but for the moment it felt right- like a puzzle piece sliding into place.
James had called her pathetic, yelled at her, confessed hatred, and insulted her. He never saw her as 'lovely' or treated her as if she was breakable.
He set her on fire.
She wasn't in love with him. The emotions James Potter could set ablaze within her were alien and unstudied. They weren't always a good thing, but they were there.
She'd given him her virginity on the Quidditch Pitch a random night in October for no other reason than he'd done her a simple courtesy. He'd been willing to tell a Marauder's secret.
And yet- after all the things she had come to consider as mistakes, she couldn't bring herself to include this one.
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Author's Note: 100 reviews- Thanks, guys! I can't say how much I appreciate the minute it takes to support the story.
I'm caught up with myself as to what I already had written, so the chapters might get shorter in favor of quicker updates.
I can't wait to hear what everyone thinks… I haven't started with Ch. 8 so feedback is more important than ever.